Middle Child Syndrome! WTF?!!!

KM43590

I'd like to start a discussion on Middle Child Syndrome. I don't know how many people are aware of this condition, but it's almost a birth defect in my opinion. I am the second born of three. I have an older brother and a younger sister. He is treated as the first born prince, named "Junior" and my sister is the "Princess" of the family, who's granted every wish. All my life, as the second born, I have felt as though I am the Danny Devito to Arnold Schwarzenegger's "Twin" brother from that movie. I am the families genetics left overs. Does anyone feel the same, or have any stories to help me feel more normal. My life has been a tragedy up till this point because of my status within my family, and I've about reached my breaking point. Thanks for your input.

mickeyrat

Not sure this thread belongs here KM, But I'm with you.Actually I'm 3rd of 4 for my mom , the 2nd was adopted out. SOooo, I too suffered this "syndrom". Just now you're not alone. Millions of middle kids out there.

jethrojam420

KM43590 wrote:

I'd like to start a discussion on Middle Child Syndrome. I don't know how many people are aware of this condition, but it's almost a birth defect in my opinion. I am the second born of three. I have an older brother and a younger sister. He is treated as the first born prince, named "Junior" and my sister is the "Princess" of the family, who's granted every wish. All my life, as the second born, I have felt as though I am the Danny Devito to Arnold Schwarzenegger's "Twin" brother from that movie. I am the families genetics left overs. Does anyone feel the same, or have any stories to help me feel more normal. My life has been a tragedy up till this point because of my status within my family, and I've about reached my breaking point. Thanks for your input.

i am so there...thought it would stop in my adult life but it continues through weddings and their grandchildren and on and on and on...guess thats life...

LloydXmas

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah


Signed youngest of three brothers.

EdsonNascimento

BabaBooey1979 wrote:

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah


Signed youngest of three brothers.

This is the funniest thread I've seen in a while. My middle brother feels the same way as the OP. He claims he's had to pay for everything he's done. He went to Sweden and Taiwan to play soccer tournaments as a teen, and claims he paid his own way (even as an 8 year old at the time, I know the facts. Funny how he doesn't).

We have 5 boys in our family. He is the daughter my parents never had. The middle child is so put upon. It's hillarious. It gets funnier as we get older because we goad him into stuff now. Whenever he starts, we feed it just to get a good laugh.

Now, I love my brother. We do lots of stuff together, etc. But, we keep him as grounded as possible by calling him on this crap.

There are libraries filled with birth order dynamics. And, now that I have 4 sons of my own (I told my wife - and I am not kidding or making this up - we needed to have an even number of kids to avoid a middle child - no such luck. My second exhibits a lot of the traits), I see it all over again. My oldest is ultra responsible. My second is always put upon (at least according to him). My third is extremely independent and fearless. And my fourth is the "baby," who has all the advantages of his older brothers and watching them (he's the kid that could dribble a soccer ball as soon as he could walk, has the language -unfortunately - of young teens, has girlfriends in pre-school, etc.).

But, you know what? Me and my brothers all look out for each other, and so do my boys. You'll never grow out of the middle child syndrome - it's just all how you handle it as you mature. Just knowing that it's you and not the world around you will do wonders for you. Good luck.

pandora

I'm the baby of 4 girls but I see lots of troubles for the oldest child really,
they got some shoes to fill and can get more beat up by mistakes they make....
gotta be the example. This made them feel under 'scope' and unable to just relax
and just be. Then # 2 arrives and they are shoved aside and must share everything.

Then I've seen some last babies with some troubles too ... addiction problems,
goal issues, the wanderers maybe. Life was too easy then mix a little can't keep up
or no need to and you have the thinkers not doers.

These generalizations of course are as unique as their family dynamics.

I guess all the roles are tough in a family, that and our family makes us who we are,
but not forever we can rise above.

keeponrockin

There are advantages and disadvantages to each order. Me being the older brother, I'm ALWAYS cleaning up my younger brother's messes. I'm the one in school, he's the one with long hair and the beard smoking pot on his 'year off'.

theserialthrilla

i have three boy

leon ,shithead & logan






lucas (middleboys real name)is not the shithead

stuckinline

KM43590, I am a middle child as well. I know EXACTLY how you feel. Do you ever feel like you're invisible?

CorduroyGirl

I think it is a lot worse to be the first one... Specially for girls... I never got to do anything unless my parents knew who I was with, where, at what time and under what circumstances, I had curfew, I'd be nagged to death if I broke it, I'd have a hard time about the way I dressed ("WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A JUNKIE???")... EVERYTHING was a big Drama!!!
Now my 19 yo brother (11 years younger than me) does whatever he wants, comes home at whatever time IF he doesn't sleep over at someone-noone-knows-who's house... yeah... I built his path :P he's a good kid though, I'm glad I "tamed" my parents for him

shadowcast

theserialthrilla wrote:

i have three boy

leon ,shithead & logan






lucas (middleboys real name)is not the shithead

LOL!!!

Sludge Factory

CorduroyGirl wrote:

I think it is a lot worse to be the first one... Specially for girls... I never got to do anything unless my parents knew who I was with, where, at what time and under what circumstances, I had curfew, I'd be nagged to death if I broke it, I'd have a hard time about the way I dressed ("WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A JUNKIE???")... EVERYTHING was a big Drama!!!
Now my 19 yo brother (11 years younger than me) does whatever he wants, comes home at whatever time IF he doesn't sleep over at someone-noone-knows-who's house... yeah... I built his path :P he's a good kid though, I'm glad I "tamed" my parents for him

I'm the middle child in my family and my parents did a pretty good job of treating us all fairly in my opinion. So, I didn't even really know about the middle child syndrome until I got older in life and heard about it from other middle children.

cincybearcat

I've heard of this syndrome before, but by another name... Whiner's Syndrome (aka Poor baby syndrome).

Toughen up and then maybe your parents will like you more.

satansbed

CorduroyGirl wrote:

I think it is a lot worse to be the first one... Specially for girls... I never got to do anything unless my parents knew who I was with, where, at what time and under what circumstances, I had curfew, I'd be nagged to death if I broke it, I'd have a hard time about the way I dressed ("WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A JUNKIE???")... EVERYTHING was a big Drama!!!
Now my 19 yo brother (11 years younger than me) does whatever he wants, comes home at whatever time IF he doesn't sleep over at someone-noone-knows-who's house... yeah... I built his path :P he's a good kid though, I'm glad I "tamed" my parents for him

i am the oldest and ive actually felt the oppisate, i have always felt that i am the "experiment" child where they tried things out with me and then used what worked on my brother, my sister, the youngest is a little princess all right though

Jason P

This sounds like a middle class / upper class "I don't have any real problems so I start making them up" syndrome. There are many different symptoms associated with these types of syndromes, but the pharmaceutical industry is quite fond as they can make more money selling pills to combat make-believe issues then real ones.

(at least that's my perspective and I'm a middle child)

hostis

I would love to know your parent's view when you refer to your life as a tragedy. Do they think its true? Do they feel they treat you as anything but equal to the other 2? I would be intrigued to know...

Jeanwah

Jason P wrote:

This sounds like a middle class / upper class "I don't have any real problems so I start making them up" syndrome. There are many different symptoms associated with these types of syndromes, but the pharmaceutical industry is quite fond as they can make more money selling pills to combat make-believe issues then real ones.

(at least that's my perspective and I'm a middle child)

UGH. I'm a middle child and I feel the same way. Some people will never be satisfied regardless how fortunate / unfortunate they are, so they create syndromes to validate their need to define life as they perceive it. Sigh.

It's all about attitude, not birth order.

keeponrockin

CorduroyGirl wrote:

I think it is a lot worse to be the first one... Specially for girls... I never got to do anything unless my parents knew who I was with, where, at what time and under what circumstances, I had curfew, I'd be nagged to death if I broke it, I'd have a hard time about the way I dressed ("WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A JUNKIE???")... EVERYTHING was a big Drama!!!
Now my 19 yo brother (11 years younger than me) does whatever he wants, comes home at whatever time IF he doesn't sleep over at someone-noone-knows-who's house... yeah... I built his path :P he's a good kid though, I'm glad I "tamed" my parents for him

Basically same here, he gets away with shit I'd never dream of... Ah well, those the breaks.