I You They Us
brianlux
Posts: 42,038
I You They Us
(For P.W./ N.Y./ P.J./ and J.H.)
I
I think
I think I'll go
I think I'll go on and on and on and on
What side are you on?
You
You could
You could send me
You could send me over and over and over and over
Over and over again my love.
They
They might
They might not understand
They might not understand the things we say and say and say and say
Say yeah, say YEAH!
We
We will
We will go
We will go out and out and out and out
All they way out... outside in the cold distance.
brianlux 9/17/11
(For P.W./ N.Y./ P.J./ and J.H.)
I
I think
I think I'll go
I think I'll go on and on and on and on
What side are you on?
You
You could
You could send me
You could send me over and over and over and over
Over and over again my love.
They
They might
They might not understand
They might not understand the things we say and say and say and say
Say yeah, say YEAH!
We
We will
We will go
We will go out and out and out and out
All they way out... outside in the cold distance.
brianlux 9/17/11
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.
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Comments
Thanks for sharing your creativity.
I don't want you to think I am being rude - but I couldn't help noticing that you attributed part of the words to J.H. I assume its Jimmy Hendrix, who COVERED Bob Dylan's song, "All along the watchtower" which contains the line you used - outside in the cold distance... maybe add B.D. to the parenthetical attribution?
I only point it out to edify you and to pass along some rock history (like my folks did before me!)
Have a blast
Not rude at all- you're absolutely right! And I hate to admit this but I'm probably old enough to be your parent- I saw Jimi twice when I was in high school/college so double shame on me for missing that one!
This is the kind of thing that happned when poems are dashed off. I wrote this after a very long day at work on top of a couple of stiff drinks- not a good writing practice.
Never feel hesitant about critiquing my writing- I really do like the input. Thank you!
Send my credentials to the house of detention
I was just going to ask you if you had a melody for this...
(I do)
How cool... actually! I'm not very good at creating melodies- maybe a little better at words and patterns. A different melody comes into my head for each stanza in this poem but of course they're some one else's melodies:
Paul Westerberg, "Left of the Dial"
Neil Young, "Over and Over"
PJ, ("Yeah" as in...) "Black"
and Jimi Hendrix' version of Dylan's "All Along the Watchtower"
So your ability to find a separate melody running throughout exceeds my melodic skills, Rollings. As I write this I'm guessing you're a song writer. I'm envious!