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My girlfriend can't burp.

orig_long redorig_long red Posts: 2,029
edited August 2011 in All Encompassing Trip
For real. Not trying to be funny. She really can't burp ... and its not that she can't "make herself" burp, she just can't burp and it causes her immense amounts of pain. I figure there are experts on here in every other subject, why not burps?

What's the deal?
Jam out with your clam out.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • unlost dogsunlost dogs Posts: 12,553
    Dump her.

    If a woman can't burp her full name, it can only mean trouble for you in the future.

    Wait _ she's not making up for her lack of burping by goings-on at the other end of her GI tract, is she? I mean, that gas has to be let out somewhere...
    15 years of sharks 06/30/08 (MA), 05/17/10 (Boston), 09/03/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/04/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/30/12 (Missoula), 07/19/13 (Wrigley), 10/15/13 (Worcester), 10/16/13 (Worcester), 10/25/13 (Hartford), 12/4/13 (Vancouver), 12/6/13 (Seattle), 6/26/14 (Berlin), 6/28/14 (Stockholm), 10/16/14 (Detroit)
  • orig_long redorig_long red Posts: 2,029
    unlost dogs wrote:
    Dump her.

    If a woman can't burp her full name, it can only mean trouble for you in the future.

    Wait _ she's not making up for her lack of burping by goings-on at the other end of her GI tract, is she? I mean, that gas has to be let out somewhere...

    she can fart like a champ. but it does nothing to help the upper gas pains. thanks for your advice.
    Jam out with your clam out.
  • rick1zoo2rick1zoo2 Posts: 12,632
    ok, this sounds odd, but have her try sitting way back, like on a sofa, then quickly sitting forward. Sometimes I have the same kind of issues, and that sometimes will shift things around enough to work.
  • conmanconman Posts: 7,493
    throw her over your shoulder and pat her on the back
  • unlost dogsunlost dogs Posts: 12,553
    conman wrote:
    throw her over your shoulder and pat her on the back

    Because the resulting concussion she gets when you drop her, having herniated yourself, will take both of your minds off the fact that she can't burp.
    15 years of sharks 06/30/08 (MA), 05/17/10 (Boston), 09/03/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/04/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/30/12 (Missoula), 07/19/13 (Wrigley), 10/15/13 (Worcester), 10/16/13 (Worcester), 10/25/13 (Hartford), 12/4/13 (Vancouver), 12/6/13 (Seattle), 6/26/14 (Berlin), 6/28/14 (Stockholm), 10/16/14 (Detroit)
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    alka seltzer or ginger ale

    always helps me.

    shit I need to pack all that other stupid stuff too...don't wanna pay $5 for 2 alka seltzer tabs at the hotel
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  • conmanconman Posts: 7,493
    unlost dogs wrote:
    conman wrote:
    throw her over your shoulder and pat her on the back

    Because the resulting concussion she gets when you drop her, having herniated yourself, will take both of your minds off the fact that she can't burp.
    are concussions and hernias not better than GI pains from not burping?? :?
  • unlost dogsunlost dogs Posts: 12,553
    conman wrote:
    unlost dogs wrote:
    conman wrote:
    throw her over your shoulder and pat her on the back

    Because the resulting concussion she gets when you drop her, having herniated yourself, will take both of your minds off the fact that she can't burp.
    are concussions and hernias not better than GI pains from not burping?? :?

    Agree!
    15 years of sharks 06/30/08 (MA), 05/17/10 (Boston), 09/03/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/04/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/30/12 (Missoula), 07/19/13 (Wrigley), 10/15/13 (Worcester), 10/16/13 (Worcester), 10/25/13 (Hartford), 12/4/13 (Vancouver), 12/6/13 (Seattle), 6/26/14 (Berlin), 6/28/14 (Stockholm), 10/16/14 (Detroit)
  • Nothingman54Nothingman54 Posts: 2,251
    This happens to me..well kind of. I get a intense crazy pain build up of gas in my chest and it does make it hard to burp but if I do burp it hurts less and less. Now burping when this is going on is a different burp, you have to work for it. Try drinking milk and/or take a tums for some relief. The burps will be small but with every burp brings relief. I find laying on my back helps with the burping. Drinking something (not sodas) will help her burp. You have to work for the tiny burps. I hope that helps. Sorry for the rambling. 420
    I'll be back
  • thesewordselopethesewordselope Posts: 781
    My brother in law can't burp, never has and apparently it is hereditary because my 5 year old nephew can't either. You can tell when they need to though because they both move their heads the same way for a minute. It doesn't seem to cause either of them pain though. Weird.
  • CareyCarey Posts: 2,361
    She probably has a very tight esophageal sphincter, I have first hand knowledge of this problem :) I don't know what she can do about it though. Wish I could help!
    "Can't buy what I want because it's free..."
  • jshinjshin Posts: 1,759
    How exactly would one loosen a " tight esophageal sphincter " and, is it possible to tighten a loose esophageal sphincter?
    I ain't got no fly'n shoes..




  • mookeywrenchmookeywrench Posts: 5,870
    All I know is if the air isn't coming out on one end...then its going out the other.
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  • FlaggFlagg Posts: 5,856
    I can't burp either. Something is wrong with the valve in my esophagus. I have never burped that I can remember.

    It causes very painful hiccups sometimes and I have to lie flat on my back to make them go away.
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  • Nothingman54Nothingman54 Posts: 2,251
    "sphincter says what?"
    I'll be back
  • davidtriosdavidtrios Posts: 9,732
    im greatful that my gf cant burp or fart. i tried to train her how to force out a burp but she can't do it for the life of her. i used to date a girl that would incessantly burp...actually burp isnt the right word..she would belch like a sailor...she was disgusting for many other reasons too

    thank God i ended up with my soulmate
  • CAVSTARR313CAVSTARR313 Posts: 8,756
    Did you try the hind-lick manuever? oh wait, that can't be right.. :mrgreen:
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  • loveontwolegsloveontwolegs Posts: 501
    Davidtrios wrote:
    im greatful that my gf cant burp or fart. i tried to train her how to force out a burp but she can't do it for the life of her. i used to date a girl that would incessantly burp...actually burp isnt the right word..she would belch like a sailor...she was disgusting for many other reasons too

    thank God i ended up with my soulmate

    Don't forget I don't poop either.
  • davidtriosdavidtrios Posts: 9,732
    i was gonna say that but i didnt wanna go there






















































    she does poop...shhh
  • m0jorisenm0jorisen Posts: 516
    jshin wrote:
    How exactly would one loosen a " tight esophageal sphincter " and, is it possible to tighten a loose esophageal sphincter?


    i read there are special exercises for that
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  • PureandEasyPureandEasy Posts: 5,799
    beer always makes me burp

    nice to see you again long red

    no don't worry, I won't mention your socks

    oops sorry :P
  • Phantom PainPhantom Pain Posts: 9,876
    jshin wrote:
    How exactly would one loosen a " tight esophageal sphincter " and, is it possible to tighten a loose esophageal sphincter?


    So many pictures I could add but I wont get the thread locked

    :mrgreen:
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  • FrankieGFrankieG Posts: 9,100
    Get in the back seat of a car with really expensive bass speakers right behind the seat, then turn on a song with alot of bass really loud. :mrgreen:8-)
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  • Mamasan23Mamasan23 Posts: 16,388
    loveontwolegs wrote:
    Davidtrios wrote:
    im greatful that my gf cant burp or fart. i tried to train her how to force out a burp but she can't do it for the life of her. i used to date a girl that would incessantly burp...actually burp isnt the right word..she would belch like a sailor...she was disgusting for many other reasons too

    thank God i ended up with my soulmate

    Don't forget I don't poop either.

    Let's talk about how cute you guys are together :D It's so nice seeing people that are together and so happy!!
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