How the tooth met its demise..
![whispering hands](https://us.v-cdn.net/5021252/uploads/userpics/780/nZRLTJHD42PET.jpg)
Ok so when I talked to this girl today, she happened to ask if I still talked to all my "Pearl Jam People",( that would be YOU GUYS) and I told her yes, as a matter of fact I had just mentioned her on here last night..She asked if I had told you all about the one tooth, and I said that I had vaguely mentioned it, before asking what had actually happened to her surviving tooth.. ( Just know what a great sport this chick is, She even told me I could tell you all, how she ended up with just one tooth, and what happened to it..) So .. now having permission.. here's the story of the girl with just one tooth.
I was told one stipulation.. I'm not allowed to tell you her name..( don't know why, but she's weird about the internet, to this day she refuses to own a computer). So here's the back-story..-We'll call her smiley-I met smiley when I very first moved to Joplin and she, myself, my other friend Sonny, and my older sister all worked at the Pillsbury factory on the swing shift. Now this girl almost NEVER smiled at first and for the longest time Melissa ( sister ) and I thought she was just a hater.. But then we started hanging out with Sonny who informed us she was simply embarassed. The first time Melissa and I told her we were fellow Pot-heads, she got all smiley, and Melissa and I dropped our jaws as rudely as one could, simply out of shock. There, in the middle of her upper jaw was ONE lone, scraggly, chicklet-sized tooth! She instantly could tell what we were so shocked by and quickly closed her mouth; then mumbled something about Meth. We couldn't beleive what we'd just seen..
Having come from Southern California, where no LEAVES their house without triple checking their outfits and teeth in the mirror, to Joplin Missouri, where no one had teeth to give a shit about, really blew our minds.. But for all the red-neck jokes you hear about one-toothed people in the mid-west ( which is bullshit, cause it's not ALL like that!), we had never actually SEEN a person with just one tooth! So eventually we ended up being really good friends with Smiley and her husband, and she was a great gal.. But we always gave her shit about the one tooth.. She took it all in stride and laughed right along with us, often telling us to go Fuck ourselves or flipping us off.. BUT I straight mother-fucking LOST IT, the day I went to pick her up for work.. I got there early so we could smoke a fatty, and her husband informs me she was "brushing her teeth"..Then he corrected himself, saying her tooth. 2 minutes later she emerged from her bathroom all happy, and when she saw the look on my face she informed me that she was very attatched to the only tooth she had left.
SO.. The tooth was lost on July 19th of 2007, when people broke into Smiley's house and while they tried to make off with her television, she fought them, they knocked out her one and only tooth...She now proudly sports dentures, is much happier, even though she says food tastes like shit with dentures in, so she takes them out to eat..And she said for all of us to fuck off..LMAO Poor girl..She said she cried for days after losing her tooth.. We never did get why she didn't just have it removed and get dentures earlier..Oh well ..Anyhow.. that's the story of the girl with one tooth.![:o :o](https://community.pearljam.com/plugins/emojiextender/emoji/yahoo/open_mouth.gif)
I was told one stipulation.. I'm not allowed to tell you her name..( don't know why, but she's weird about the internet, to this day she refuses to own a computer). So here's the back-story..-We'll call her smiley-I met smiley when I very first moved to Joplin and she, myself, my other friend Sonny, and my older sister all worked at the Pillsbury factory on the swing shift. Now this girl almost NEVER smiled at first and for the longest time Melissa ( sister ) and I thought she was just a hater.. But then we started hanging out with Sonny who informed us she was simply embarassed. The first time Melissa and I told her we were fellow Pot-heads, she got all smiley, and Melissa and I dropped our jaws as rudely as one could, simply out of shock. There, in the middle of her upper jaw was ONE lone, scraggly, chicklet-sized tooth! She instantly could tell what we were so shocked by and quickly closed her mouth; then mumbled something about Meth. We couldn't beleive what we'd just seen..
Having come from Southern California, where no LEAVES their house without triple checking their outfits and teeth in the mirror, to Joplin Missouri, where no one had teeth to give a shit about, really blew our minds.. But for all the red-neck jokes you hear about one-toothed people in the mid-west ( which is bullshit, cause it's not ALL like that!), we had never actually SEEN a person with just one tooth! So eventually we ended up being really good friends with Smiley and her husband, and she was a great gal.. But we always gave her shit about the one tooth.. She took it all in stride and laughed right along with us, often telling us to go Fuck ourselves or flipping us off.. BUT I straight mother-fucking LOST IT, the day I went to pick her up for work.. I got there early so we could smoke a fatty, and her husband informs me she was "brushing her teeth"..Then he corrected himself, saying her tooth. 2 minutes later she emerged from her bathroom all happy, and when she saw the look on my face she informed me that she was very attatched to the only tooth she had left.
SO.. The tooth was lost on July 19th of 2007, when people broke into Smiley's house and while they tried to make off with her television, she fought them, they knocked out her one and only tooth...She now proudly sports dentures, is much happier, even though she says food tastes like shit with dentures in, so she takes them out to eat..And she said for all of us to fuck off..LMAO Poor girl..She said she cried for days after losing her tooth.. We never did get why she didn't just have it removed and get dentures earlier..Oh well ..Anyhow.. that's the story of the girl with one tooth.
![:o :o](https://community.pearljam.com/plugins/emojiextender/emoji/yahoo/open_mouth.gif)
![:o :o](https://community.pearljam.com/plugins/emojiextender/emoji/yahoo/open_mouth.gif)
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well anyways, we have this one customer who has only one tooth...one tooth only, and its fucking chicklet sized, right smack dab in the middle of her upper gums (how the eff is that possible, right in the middle ?!?)
well i aptly named her dr teeth (ref to the muppets) from day one.
...well recently she came in with issues revolving around a company making unauthorized transactions on her checking acct. She had initiated the very first transaction, but not the second, third, forth...
she told me that she had signed up with this company for teeth whitening!!!...i almost fell out of my chair and shat at the same time!!!
true story
kinda like richard lewis's mole in men in tights?
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
I knew I'd find something interesting on here today
Gotta say I almost pissed myself laughing after reading that
2009 - Toronto
2010 - Buffalo
2011 - Toronto 1&2
2013 - London, Pittsburgh, Buffalo
2014 - Cincinnati, St. Louis, Detroit
2016 - Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, Ottawa, Toronto 1
2018 - Fenway 1&2
2022 - Hamilton, Toronto
2023 - Chicago 1&2
2024 - Las Vegas 1&2