Mentors to be a loving person in a relationship

Ms. Haiku

We have musical mentors, and writing mentors, and many types of mentors depending on the path we want to pursue. What individual inspired you to be a better person in a relationship? What relationship inspired you to take the plunge and give the other person a chance. For instance, my grandma said that her dad *would breathe* for her mom if she needed it. But, she ended marrying a bit of a bully.

Or, is that too simple approach. Is the ability to be a *good* person in a relationship instinctual?

There must be a learning process to feel free from fear or anxiety in a relationship . . . is there a person that inspired you to go through that process?

Hairy Dane

Interesting topic. I must say one of my everyday relationship "mentors" would be my wife; she's always there for me when I need her, always letting me be me when I need it and well being herself 100% I can't but respect that, and learn from it each day.

Also my grandfather who died shortly after my grandmother passed away. He died of sorrow and that really got to me, to think a strong person as my grandfather could die from a broken heart. I don't see him as a mentor as such, maybe more a rolemodel, a hero.

But I think if people stopped seeing relationships as a chore or some sort of "look what I bagged" status update, but in stead ran into it heart and head first, then it wouldn't be so goddam hard.

justam

My grandparents inspired me. They were happily married for 50 years. (They died within two weeks of each other too.) They were best friends and stayed in love the whole time. They used to laugh a lot and they enjoyed spending time together. I knew it was a good relationship.

Also, I think strong feelings of love inspire people in many ways. For example, if you truly like the PERSON as a person not just as a love object then you are willing to accept them for their good qualities as well as their "weaknesses." Notice I put that in quotes because I think everyone needs room to be themselves without having other people label them. :geek: I think strong love also makes you want to adjust yourself when it's necessary too. People smooth off each other's rough edges as they both work to get along.

pandora

I liked Hairy Dane's post alot... thought it beautiful

I think the basic nature of humans, how we learn to be, we take much from
what we see in our parents, long before we can even recall.
It gets filed away deep inside and is often what we expect in life
or what we give back to life.

Then our experiences and who we meet along the way, our entire life, continues to make us
who we are right up until our path takes us from this world.... still growing.

My parents example was one of best friends having fun.
It was the basis to the relationship and shined through even during turmoil.

JB's parents example was a working partnership... owning two successful business' together.
Work was a family factor.... ruling force.

Our union is a combination of both.

As far as being good in any relationship... that is the golden rule or standing in another's shoes
and really feeling them.

This didn't come to me early on in life at least not how it has evolved.

And as far as fears goes
it it not a person who has helped me through this ... it is my hope and my faith
and my belief in love itself....
it gives me no worries.

Dru_Cortez

Ms. Haiku wrote:

Is the ability to be a *good* person in a relationship instinctual?

Being a good person is subjective,
+ depends on a whole slew of different things.

The whole DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) issue
surrounding modern medicine is a
demonstration of that.
Is it "good" to let a person live
supported by a mechanical device,
or is it "good" to end that person's suffering?

Is it "good" to protect + support rare + precious
animal species by maintaining zoo facilities,
or is it "good" to let them live out their lives
in the natural world,
with all it's slings + arrows?

Goodness is subjective,
+ how you interpret it is a series of choices
that we make everyday.
Cheers.