Reply: My Drama At Home With My Teenager...
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Surfing The far side of THE Sombrero Galaxy Posts: 18,200
I have to say I'm quite surprised that the thread I started blew up so much without my presence. Thanks for the pm which I picked up by my phone that brought this to my attention. The last time I visited here they were only about 13 posts on the first page and from that I had recieved all the info I needed. I was basically seeking confirmation on my own thoughts on the matter since I had previously been in this situation when I taught for 8 years a before and afterschool program for teens.
As far as my son things turned out rather well so far. Things were all quiet upon my return home so I didn't push the issue but I knew this matter had to be addressed sooner than later. Knowing this child i knew a golf cart ride wasn't going to work so i asked him to take me to that place where the horses roamed free here in our community on the ATV's. He loves being in charge so I let him which was helpful since it put him at ease. So while out there I asked him do you know of all the dangers of going on, chatting on adults sites. He honestly said no, I then went into details about the dangers of such places and where they can lead for teens such as you. I was speaking to him in a slow methodical manner where he could take in what I was saying to him I didn't want him to feel he was being punished even though I was going put a locked feature on his computer along with the other children. He actually liked that idea...I think his thoughts were If i'm going to have something taken away me then everybody should.
After that exchange I said let's ride...we rode some more and after getting all muddy I asked him if there was anything on his mind after visiting those sites? He said he just isn't sure what he is or likes at this point but that girls are not an interest for him now. I told him he can speak to me at any time about anything that is on his mind about this or that maybe bothering him. If i can't solve it I'll find the means and resources to do so. As we were about to leave I also asked him btw when this first came to my attention i reached out to the internet...a music site among others for advice on our situation...would you have a problem with me doing that? He said YES, if you used my name and he then asked did you get any useful info? I told him yes on the first couple of replies which I will use along with what I already know and experienced in the past with a teen your age. He wanted to know what happened with that teen and I told him where he is and what he's doing today and i also told I call him about once a year. He smiled after hearing about that, I told him I loved him, just first always, always respect your mother, we hugged and gave each other a fist dap and road off as it was getting dark.
This will be an ongoing, evolving situation in our home my main worry now will be how he will handle a scenerio at school or elsewhere if he's called out or thought of as being gay. If such a scene happens I want him to be prepared, ready for such an occurrance. At this time everything is all good he's starting on his
Pop Warner team's offensive and defensive line along with his younger brother, I cant think of a better way to keep teens busy.
Peace.....thanks again for those who did give me some advice.
As far as my son things turned out rather well so far. Things were all quiet upon my return home so I didn't push the issue but I knew this matter had to be addressed sooner than later. Knowing this child i knew a golf cart ride wasn't going to work so i asked him to take me to that place where the horses roamed free here in our community on the ATV's. He loves being in charge so I let him which was helpful since it put him at ease. So while out there I asked him do you know of all the dangers of going on, chatting on adults sites. He honestly said no, I then went into details about the dangers of such places and where they can lead for teens such as you. I was speaking to him in a slow methodical manner where he could take in what I was saying to him I didn't want him to feel he was being punished even though I was going put a locked feature on his computer along with the other children. He actually liked that idea...I think his thoughts were If i'm going to have something taken away me then everybody should.
After that exchange I said let's ride...we rode some more and after getting all muddy I asked him if there was anything on his mind after visiting those sites? He said he just isn't sure what he is or likes at this point but that girls are not an interest for him now. I told him he can speak to me at any time about anything that is on his mind about this or that maybe bothering him. If i can't solve it I'll find the means and resources to do so. As we were about to leave I also asked him btw when this first came to my attention i reached out to the internet...a music site among others for advice on our situation...would you have a problem with me doing that? He said YES, if you used my name and he then asked did you get any useful info? I told him yes on the first couple of replies which I will use along with what I already know and experienced in the past with a teen your age. He wanted to know what happened with that teen and I told him where he is and what he's doing today and i also told I call him about once a year. He smiled after hearing about that, I told him I loved him, just first always, always respect your mother, we hugged and gave each other a fist dap and road off as it was getting dark.
This will be an ongoing, evolving situation in our home my main worry now will be how he will handle a scenerio at school or elsewhere if he's called out or thought of as being gay. If such a scene happens I want him to be prepared, ready for such an occurrance. At this time everything is all good he's starting on his
Pop Warner team's offensive and defensive line along with his younger brother, I cant think of a better way to keep teens busy.
Peace.....thanks again for those who did give me some advice.
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
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by the way...Sounds like an awesome spot out there, muddin and exploring.
I contemplated over and over whether to post the previous thread and wrote several drafts pondering his concerns, my own and whether I needed any advice. Many years ago I went over in my mind how i would react/handle my daughter if she was gay. I would love her just the same with no change, my only goal is to set the children's life so that they will be happy with whomever they choose to be with. It matters none to me whether that person is of te same sex or of a different race or religion. I'd would rather have that kind of relationship than what some would consider a normal relationship that has domestic abuse littered through it.
For some of you out there with children or are considering children in the future *WWYD* (what would you do) if your child was gay? Would anything change, wholud you TRY and change them to something you felt was normal? I'v read where some parents have disowned/distanced their children for being who they are and the same if they marry out side of their race. Does a parental love change if that child is born with a birth defect, in my case NEVER....it's a part of life for me and I love my children even when they are at their worst behavior.
Now I have to make some blueberry, chocolate chip pancakes the children will be hungry after practice and workouts yesterday.
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
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