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my_wavemy_wave Posts: 348
edited July 2017 in Words and Music...Communication
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  • InsideManInsideMan Posts: 261
    I just went through this, brother. In fact, I'm still 10% attached to the girl that I was with. It has been a struggle of a couple months, but you have to just surround yourself with everything that makes you happy. I found that one of the best remedies was to hang out with my friends. Just being around people and keeping yourself busy will help alleviate some of the pain and frustration. Keep your head up. There are more of us out there in the same boat than you realize.
    2009: Philly 3 & 4
    2010: Newark, MSG I
    2011: EV Philly
    2012: Philly MIA
    2013: Wrigley, Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Philly 1 & 2, Baltimore
  • my_wavemy_wave Posts: 348
    edited September 2012
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    Post edited by my_wave on
    st. pete '94
    west palm beach '98
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    ed - clearwater '12
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  • The OracleThe Oracle Posts: 529
    My feelings are with you both. Going through similar torture at present, (although she wasn't a PJ fan) and I thought at my age I'd handle it better, having been 3 thru long-time loves before, but it is yet another scar on the heart. I slept for 2 days, was walking dead for a few days but I realise life goes on, however painful and empty it seems for a while.

    One thing I do know for sure is that time does heal, and hopefully you'll feel like I do about my previous loves - as I remember the good times we had, not the end.

    You'll be fine I reckon, as you've taken a positive leap already by posting this....and I thank you both because it's helped me too!

    Surrounding yourself with people is the way to go, do things you love doing, throw yourself into work, if possible, just keep busy. Live moment by moment for a while if you wish, as I did, look forward and eventually it gets easier.
  • Juan GodoyJuan Godoy Posts: 490
    sorry to hear that men..

    try try try - the smashing pumpkins i think that could help, and if you watch the video, it's very sad, but i guess you will feel better with yourself..

    cheer up my friend!!
  • The OracleThe Oracle Posts: 529
    Wow - that's stark! Love Billy Corgan, and his lyrics, hadn't seen that before, thanks Juan.
  • Juan GodoyJuan Godoy Posts: 490
    The Oracle wrote:
    Wow - that's stark! Love Billy Corgan, and his lyrics, hadn't seen that before, thanks Juan.


    your welcome my friend!!

    that's song is amazing, the video is something reaaally touching.. don't you think so?
  • my_wavemy_wave Posts: 348
    thanks...
    st. pete '94
    west palm beach '98
    tampa '00
    tampa '03
    tampa '08
    brooklyn '13
    austin '14
    austin '14
    tampa '16

    ed - clearwater '12
    ed - clearwater '12
  • Malcolm-EdgeMalcolm-Edge Posts: 94
    Through my recent breakup, to a girl I had a ring for, I lost myself in two bands. Pearl Jam and U2. The Pearl Jam song I connected to most was "Elderly Woman". I kind of saw it as a narration of bumping into that person you never thought you'd get over years and years later, and one line helped me through it all. "Hearts and thoughts they fade away", and its 100% true. There is no set time for them to begin to fade, but they do begin to fade away.

    If you want to listen to pure angst about love and loss however, get U2's Achtung Baby. It was written almost solely about The Edge's divorce, and the tension of them almost breaking up. "One" resonated with me, as well as, "Who's Going To Ride Your Wild Horses".

    We all love and lose, but remember not all love goes bad, keep yourself ready to love again bro.
  • bennett13bennett13 Posts: 439
    Been there, dude....boy, have I been there! Trust me on this, though. It gets better. And better. And better still. For a while, you won't think it will, but it does. In the meantime, allow me to recommend 2 albums that helped me through the darkest days of my life...albums that seemed to be speaking directly to me...or for me...or with me. These are universal feelings that most people go through.

    1. Ryan Adams - "Heartbreaker"
    2. Bob Dylan - "Blood on the Tracks"
  • PJChiFan91PJChiFan91 Posts: 29
    I feel the pain man. Pearl Jam is the best musical outlet I feel, just keep listening to them, things will come around eventually.

    My two biggest songs to listen to for release are:

    Release (no pun)

    Alive
    A wave came crashing like a fist to the jaw. Delivered him wings, "Hey, look at me now"

    Lollapalooza Grant Park,Chicago,IL August 5,2007
    PJ20 Alpine Valley,East Troy,WI September 3,2011
  • pennylane106pennylane106 Posts: 135
    listen to 'low rising' and 'say it to me now' by glen hansard....also 'alien' by bush....

    I agree though, 'release', 'sometimes,' 'untitled' and 'black' always make me feel better.

    also, try to find (on youtube or otherwise) the song eddie wrote on the second day of PJ20.
    "i'm so glad we made it..."

    amazing songs and have helped me recently. hope you're feeling better.
    'You know time is long, and life is short.
    Begin to live while you still can.'

    While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit, our creativity or our glorious uniqueness.-Gilda Radner
  • STAYSEASTAYSEA Posts: 3,814
    Yep a broken heart. She left you... He left me... They leave...
    I coming out of a 15 year relationship. and I'm only 30! :lol:
    I am listening to the first PJ concert I went to... Houston, tx 0ct 14, 2000. That is the last time I was so happy that I cried. Thinking back to that night, If I would have know that was to be my happiest moment ever, I would not have let him sneak out as the encore played! I would have sat my ass down, and waited, they played a second show the next night in the same place (Houston has like 12 million people). I'm so broken hearted, and I have been a super bitch to all the little boys trying to get some. But they won't get some! I'm pretty sure that no one is "man" enough to be my man. Just remember that everytime Pearl Jam plays... they have to think of you! if You are breaking up... at least get custody of Pearl Jam! I am certain this is all that matters in life. and sometimes You would rather be with an animal! :D
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  • davidronndavidronn Posts: 26
    pennylane106 wrote:
    listen to 'low rising' and 'say it to me now' by glen hansard
    Yes! Good choices.

    As far as books go, there's a great book called Dark Nights of the Soul by Thomas Moore. It talks about all the crushing things that happen to a person and actually helps shed some light on why they're good and important. I've read it a few times. It's been very helpful to me.
  • evil lil goatevil lil goat Posts: 17
    I feel ya, my wife of left me for no apparent reason on July 17th of this yr too. Breakups are never easy & always complicated. I'm sort of a music junkie & listen to a little of everything, but PJ was & still is the best remedy for me. Maybe try some Josh Ritter (the old stuff) or a little Phoenix for a change of pace
    The in between is Mine

    PJ: ATL 4/19/03, CHI 8/24/09, KC 5/3/10, Wrigley 7/19/13, OKC 11/16/13
    EV: Stl 6/1/11, LV 10/31/12, LV 11/1/12, Tulsa 11/18/12, Tulsa 11/19/12
  • Smoke In A TreeSmoke In A Tree Posts: 20
    Unfortunately I can relate to you on this one. Had my heart broken 5 years ago and occasionally can still feel the pain, it just comes up from nowhere. She was my best friend for so many years and we both crossed that line and that's when the pain started. I turned her onto to Pearl Jam and we both had the privilege to enjoy them together, saw so many shows together. Every song in the Pearl Jam catalog become foot sprints of our lives, powerful to say the least. When it ended the songs became unbearable to listen to so I had to walk away from Pearl Jam for a year, hardest thing I ever had to do since I have been a hardcore fan since the very beginning. One day woke up and the pain went away and the very first thing I did was take Pearl Jam back and when I did that the healing started. Jesus Christ I missed the boys, Nothingman, Black & Untitled were no longer a dagger in my heart, the songs came full circle and brought me happiness again!

    Your heart will mend and you will get over this, stay positive and keep your heart open man, someone will come inside if you let them, that choice is yours. Don't build a wall like I did for so many years, gets F'N lonely in there!
    Nature has it's own religion, gospel from the land.
  • morgannspicermorgannspicer Posts: 266
    I'm so sorry this happened to you but I know how you feel. I left a man I was with for seven years who shattered my heart and wrecked my world.

    He was cheating on me. Never admitted he was and never apologized. I left and he moved in with "her" two weeks later. I was 700 miles away from home. Picked up everything and started over and my sibling had died three months prior in a car accident. I felt like I had NOBODY and NOTHING.

    For a time I refused to listen to Pearl Jam because it made me think of my brother and immediately I associated it with death and negativity. I pulled my head out of my arse and listened to the lyrics and found out it was quite the opposite actually.

    The rest as they say is history...

    Pearl Jam was my brother's favorite band and the favorite band of his friends who are all like "little brothers to me" - I bought tickets for the Van Andel 2006 show and went with a few friends, my first PJ concert.

    I've seen Pearl Jam three more times since and have been dating one of "my boys" for over six months now. He started out as one of "the Pearl Jam guys" but things had hanged after the 2010 Noblesville PJ show.

    I was afraid of showing anybody any type of feelings (I still am to a degree which is why I'm on edge a lot at times with my current boyfriend but he's got the patience of a saint) because I don't want to hurt ever again. I never thought I'd come out of the abyss I was in six years ago.

    My boyfriend had been cheated on as well about the same time (and had been hurt worse than me I think at times) so we confided in each other. He's now my best friend and a man I can say I truly love.

    If it hadn't been for Pearl Jam, I don't know where I'd be or if I'd even be here at all for that matter. It brought me out of the hell my life was and even helped me find love again.

    It will take time but please don't give in or give up but don't close your heart up forever. I understand keeping it shut for a time but somebody will find their way to you and make you feel again.

    I never dreamed Pearl Jam would be my saving grace. I hope they are yours again eventually. You have a wonderful support group of Pearl Jam fans who are all here for you. Talk to us.
    05/19/06 Grand Rapids, MI
    05/07/10 Noblesville, IN
    09/03/11 Alpine Valley, WI
    09/04/11 Alpine Valley, WI
  • my_wavemy_wave Posts: 348
    edited September 2012
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    Post edited by my_wave on
    st. pete '94
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    ed - clearwater '12
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  • morgannspicermorgannspicer Posts: 266
    my_wave wrote:
    wow! thanks for sharing, i could reply by writing a book, but i won't... i'll just say that things are getting better, and i'm happy again... it still hurts, and i still love her, but it's something i'm learning to live with it, there's really nothing else i can do... all i know is that i'll always have pearl jam! :D

    I'm glad you're doing better although still recovering. I was very worried about you when I read your message last week and hoped you'd see all the awesome support you're getting.

    Just hang in there. It takes time, but things will right themselves out and you'll find that happiness again.
    05/19/06 Grand Rapids, MI
    05/07/10 Noblesville, IN
    09/03/11 Alpine Valley, WI
    09/04/11 Alpine Valley, WI
  • STAYSEASTAYSEA Posts: 3,814
    edited March 2012
    Life is short.. Just Breathe..
    Dating is crazy.. I don't get it yet? never will. Seems like fun? not
    Post edited by STAYSEA on
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  • STAYSEASTAYSEA Posts: 3,814
    edited March 2012
    12345
    Post edited by STAYSEA on
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  • STAYSEASTAYSEA Posts: 3,814
    my_wave wrote:
    wow! thanks for sharing, i could reply by writing a book, but i won't... i'll just say that things are getting better, and i'm happy again... it still hurts, and i still love her, but it's something i'm learning to live with, there's really nothing else i can do... all i know is that i'll always have pearl jam! :D

    PEARL JAMMMM
    yes!!! the reason!
    the motive
    Life
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