Boneheads

chiquimonkey

i.e. my aunt

I just have to get this out cuz it's driving me crazy. She and my uncle were here for my mom's funeral last week, and she had to be one of the ditziest people ever.

EVER.

How ditzy?

As we were walking to the gravesite for the burial, she peeks over and says oh wow there's a concrete liner. She said they don't have those in Jersey. I'm like okay. She then said "that's great, that will really slow down the deterioration process".

:?

Dude. REALLY? You say this RIGHT before I'm about to watch my mother get lowered into the fucking ground?

I have to say it's a blessing to live far away from people sometimes.

</end rant> okay I feel a little better getting that out now!

decides2dream

im sorry chiqui, but man....i just laughed!


and btw, we DO have em here on the east coast...even in jersey. my ex-bro-in-law's dad had a liner put in as well before he was buried. personally, i don't truly get the point of em at all, we didn't use a liner, and hell we even had a wooden casket for my dad....but we're more of the belief of and 'to dust ye shall return'....but yea, they're here. but wtf do i know? i want to be cremated and have my ashes tossed out to sea.


i think...some people just don't think.
bone heads indeed.

mikalina

I'm so sorry .... people have a way of saying the "dumbest" things at the wrong times.

My prayers are with you...

chiquimonkey

decides2dream wrote:

im sorry chiqui, but man....i just laughed!


and btw, we DO have em here on the east coast...even in jersey. my ex-bro-in-law's dad had a liner put in as well before he was buried. personally, i don't truly get the point of em at all, we didn't use a liner, and hell we even had a wooden casket for my dad....but we're more of the belief of and 'to dust ye shall return'....but yea, they're here. but wtf do i know? i want to be cremated and have my ashes tossed out to sea.


i think...some people just don't think.
bone heads indeed.

She's even more of a dummy than I thought then lol

It's just....just....who SAYS THAT? At that very moment? It's like yeah I know it might slow it down, I don't need it hollered in the middle of a cemetary when I'm two seconds away from falling apart.

UGHGHGHHH

Yeah just shove my ashes in a Payless Shoe store box. F it lol

PureandEasy

mikalina wrote:

I'm so sorry .... people have a way of saying the "dumbest" things at the wrong times.

My prayers are with you...

exactly

norm

decides2dream wrote:

im sorry chiqui, but man....i just laughed!

yeah i did too

sorry chiqui but like you i've never heard of such a thing and then for her to be happy about it especially at that point :x

too many people don't realize that every thought in their empty heads needs to be expressed vocally :roll:

hang in there, b!

chiquimonkey

Thanks guys, and yeah I suppose it is funny! At the moment though....I wanted to shove her right in. Friend of mine was next to me and she said don't do it....don't be the one that gets arrested at a funeral lol

She was irritating overall and that just took the cake for me. Questioning everything, like what we were gonna put in the casket, things like that. It's like you DIDN'T KNOW HER JACKASS.

decides2dream

chiquimonkey wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

im sorry chiqui, but man....i just laughed!


and btw, we DO have em here on the east coast...even in jersey. my ex-bro-in-law's dad had a liner put in as well before he was buried. personally, i don't truly get the point of em at all, we didn't use a liner, and hell we even had a wooden casket for my dad....but we're more of the belief of and 'to dust ye shall return'....but yea, they're here. but wtf do i know? i want to be cremated and have my ashes tossed out to sea.


i think...some people just don't think.
bone heads indeed.

She's even more of a dummy than I thought then lol

It's just....just....who SAYS THAT? At that very moment? It's like yeah I know it might slow it down, I don't need it hollered in the middle of a cemetary when I'm two seconds away from falling apart.

UGHGHGHHH

Yeah just shove my ashes in a Payless Shoe store box. F it lol

exactly.



my husband recently have been discussing this all over again due to your recent loss.
honestly, my husband doesn't care one way or another what i do with him after the fact, he's like...whatever. :P he does not believe in god, at all...so he thinks when you're done, you're done. that said tho, when i suggested the idea of mixing all out pets ashes with his and sending them all collectively out to sea, he liked that idea.

i've always wanted to be cremated, and NO wake. i'm not really religious, but somehow, i still might like last rites/funeral mass....i don't think you can ever truly erase catholicism from your being .....but i just want everyone to go to my fave restaurant, eat, drink.....remember me sure, but be happy to still be alive.

chiquimonkey

decides2dream wrote:

but i just want everyone to go to my fave restaurant, eat, drink.....remember me sure, but be happy to still be alive.

That's precisely what I told my sister, I don't want a drawn out sad production. Spend the money on a big party with good food and booze and have people share happy memories.

he.who.forgets

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's passing Chiqui :(

decides2dream

chiquimonkey wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

but i just want everyone to go to my fave restaurant, eat, drink.....remember me sure, but be happy to still be alive.

That's precisely what I told my sister, I don't want a drawn out sad production. Spend the money on a big party with good food and booze and have people share happy memories.

exactly.
i saw your post about it and thought yea...someone else who thinks like me!
thus what prompted the recent discussion on the topic in the dream household.
if i go first, i truly hope he does just that.

norm

chiquimonkey wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

but i just want everyone to go to my fave restaurant, eat, drink.....remember me sure, but be happy to still be alive.

That's precisely what I told my sister, I don't want a drawn out sad production. Spend the money on a big party with good food and booze and have people share happy memories.

isn't that how it should be? i mean, yeah we're sad you died but let's celebrate your life instead of mourning the loss

decides2dream

norm wrote:

chiquimonkey wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

but i just want everyone to go to my fave restaurant, eat, drink.....remember me sure, but be happy to still be alive.

That's precisely what I told my sister, I don't want a drawn out sad production. Spend the money on a big party with good food and booze and have people share happy memories.

isn't that how it should be? i mean, yeah we're sad you died but let's celebrate your life instead of mourning the loss

i think too many people get caught up on what they *should* do....as in what is traditional and expected. fuck that.

rick1zoo2

I am hoping it is just due to someone being in an awkward situation and babbling. I know sometimes people have the need to say something to ease the tension. But it does make it uncomfortable. I am sorry for your loss and I hope you are ok

chiquimonkey

he.who.forgets wrote:

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's passing Chiqui :(

Thank you. It's still a little hard for me to accept, I guess it's still too fresh. Even though consciously I know she's gone, I've had dreams two nights in a row now where she wasn't dead. One was like an 'alternate ending' like what would have happened had she come home from the ICU. And the one last night, it was like they had made a big mistake and she was fine. My subconscious is apparently in SERIOUS denial!

decides2dream

chiquimonkey wrote:

he.who.forgets wrote:

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's passing Chiqui :(

Thank you. It's still a little hard for me to accept, I guess it's still too fresh. Even though consciously I know she's gone, I've had dreams two nights in a row now where she wasn't dead. One was like an 'alternate ending' like what would have happened had she come home from the ICU. And the one last night, it was like they had made a big mistake and she was fine. My subconscious is apparently in SERIOUS denial!

:(
ouch.
i think it ALL takes time, a long time....

unlost dogs

chiquimonkey wrote:

he.who.forgets wrote:

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's passing Chiqui :(

Thank you. It's still a little hard for me to accept, I guess it's still too fresh. Even though consciously I know she's gone, I've had dreams two nights in a row now where she wasn't dead. One was like an 'alternate ending' like what would have happened had she come home from the ICU. And the one last night, it was like they had made a big mistake and she was fine. My subconscious is apparently in SERIOUS denial!

Awwwwwww (((hug))). Sometimes the dreams can be a comfort, but then you wake up and remember that they're actually gone.

I had a lot of dreams of my dad in the first year after he died. It's so hard to get used to the idea that they just aren't physically here with us any more. It's a lot to accept, isn't it?

chiquimonkey

decides2dream wrote:

chiquimonkey wrote:

he.who.forgets wrote:

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's passing Chiqui :(

Thank you. It's still a little hard for me to accept, I guess it's still too fresh. Even though consciously I know she's gone, I've had dreams two nights in a row now where she wasn't dead. One was like an 'alternate ending' like what would have happened had she come home from the ICU. And the one last night, it was like they had made a big mistake and she was fine. My subconscious is apparently in SERIOUS denial!

:(
ouch.
i think it ALL takes time, a long time....

Yeah I was pretty stunned, because in my waking hours I felt accepting of it, granted it is a hard thing to accept that I'll never see her again. But yeah, I guess my brain is really feeling otherwise. I'm just going with it, I figure I'm gonna have moments of nuttiness like that.

norm

chiquimonkey wrote:

Yeah I was pretty stunned, because in my waking hours I felt accepting of it, granted it is a hard thing to accept that I'll never see her again. But yeah, I guess my brain is really feeling otherwise. I'm just going with it, I figure I'm gonna have moments of nuttiness like that.

yeah it happens...at weird times all of sudden the memory just hits you...best you can do is just roll with it...which ain't easy

chiquimonkey

unlost dogs wrote:

Awwwwwww (((hug))). Sometimes the dreams can be a comfort, but then you wake up and remember that they're actually gone.

I had a lot of dreams of my dad in the first year after he died. It's so hard to get used to the idea that they just aren't physically here with us any more. It's a lot to accept, isn't it?

It really is. That I think will be the hardest hurdle, and then does one really ever clear that hurdle, truly?

I feel so bad for my dad, he said the other day he refuses to admit she's never coming back. I guess it's a struggle we'll all have to contend with and let time help.

chiquimonkey

norm wrote:

chiquimonkey wrote:

Yeah I was pretty stunned, because in my waking hours I felt accepting of it, granted it is a hard thing to accept that I'll never see her again. But yeah, I guess my brain is really feeling otherwise. I'm just going with it, I figure I'm gonna have moments of nuttiness like that.

yeah it happens...at weird times all of sudden the memory just hits you...best you can do is just roll with it...which ain't easy

Yeah I've had a few moments like that already and for little tiny things. Like going thru the TV listings and seeing a show we used to watch together. And then I just started crying. Ugh. I feel like I'll have myself together and a second later turn into a total mess.

RKCNDY

{{{HUGS}}} to you chiqui...

chiquimonkey

RKCNDY wrote:

{{{HUGS}}} to you chiqui...

Thank you, and thanks to everybody. Sorry, I guess I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed, but that won't be going away anytime soon I know. ALl I know is I want to bop my aunt in the head lol

small town beck

chiquimonkey wrote:

he.who.forgets wrote:

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's passing Chiqui :(

Thank you. It's still a little hard for me to accept, I guess it's still too fresh. Even though consciously I know she's gone, I've had dreams two nights in a row now where she wasn't dead. One was like an 'alternate ending' like what would have happened had she come home from the ICU. And the one last night, it was like they had made a big mistake and she was fine. My subconscious is apparently in SERIOUS denial!

I have had those dreams, chiq. My most vivid one was I was supposed to meet my Mum for lunch but I kept getting delayed and when I got to the restaurant she had left. :(

Sorry your aunt was such a bonehead. Some people just don't think...and some are just insensitive idiots.

*hugs*