needed advice

fife

i have been very tired for a while at work and i feel i am burning out. I am a social worker in Toronto. I work with people who are homeless and are HIV +. My job is to help them find housing and then support them in their housing. In the last 4 months, someone tried to come into my office with a gun, threaten to hurt my family, among other things. i have been doing this job for 7 years and in the last 1 year i have noticed a change in my clients. Many of my client have been living with HIV for about 20 years now and some more than that. many of these clients have now very bad mental health issues but fail to see it.

they have become very demanding and irrational. i understand why this is the case but lately i just can't handle it anymore. I dread coming to work everyday while before i was always the guy who would work early and work late. i was would be able to work 15 hour day with no problem. but now i can barely do 8 hours and i am mentally dead.

has anyone felt this way before and if so how did you overcome this?

Thoughts_Arrive

Annual leave, month long.

PureandEasy

It sounds as though you are on the verge of depression. Do you feel that way about other things in your life or just your job?

81

maybe you and Rye could swap clients for a month?

i get the dead thing....not sure how to over come it, except to win the lotto and retire.

pjhawks

if you are that unhappy in your job you have to leave it, sooner than later. other than sleep work is the thing people do the most. there is almost no way to be happy in life if you hate your job that much. don't burn any bridges when you leave as you can always go back if you feel the pull to go back to helping those in need but i would suggest taking some time and finding something else at the moment.

comebackgirl

I'm a social worker too. I think burn out comes along with the territory to a certain extent. I've dealt with burnout a few times myself, usually when I've worked in really unhealthy agencies. I've gotten much better with setting limits around my availability. Good supervision is key. I think it really helps to have a good supervisor that can help you process your cases and set limits. And take your vacation time!!! I had so much saved up that I couldn't carry anymore. I'm using a bunch this summer and will still have a bunch left. I think it's saving my sanity. The great thing about social work is that you can transition to working with another population, move into an administrative role, or do something different all together. Take care of yourself. If you're starting to hate your job it's a big sign that something has to change.

mickeyrat

Are your current feelings affecting how you work for your clients?

SPEEDY MCCREADY

My advice???

Dont ever come to this forum and ask for advice.....


Ask the people who post here..... for advice on life????
Not in a million fucking years.....

hehehehe

Thoughts_Arrive

SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:

My advice???

Dont ever come to this forum and ask for advice.....


Ask the people who post here..... for advice on life????
Not in a million fucking years.....

hehehehe

Harvtron

It sounds like you might want to look in to getting a new Job. I would also say you should look into meditation, it might help you clear your mind and give you an answer you didn't see before.

fife

PureandEasy wrote:

It sounds as though you are on the verge of depression. Do you feel that way about other things in your life or just your job?

my job for a long time was my life. last year my mom died and the only way i "handle it" was by going to work. now, i am trying to get back a life but i find that my work is getting in the way. i am usually i funny guy but my friends have said that i have become more darker.

I have always had issues around depression for as long as i can remember but lately its has gotten worse.

fife

mickeyrat wrote:

Are your current feelings affecting how you work for your clients?

no i still put in 100% of my energy into my client. if it ever got to the point where i thought that it was affecting my clients i would just quit and work at McDonalds

chadwick

smoke weed every chance you get. whiskey works for some, not so much for others. and meditate several times a day.

tell the prick who threatens you to fucking bring it. you do need weapons at the house just in case. guns come in handy as does a bat or a big dog.

fife

comebackgirl wrote:

I'm a social worker too. I think burn out comes along with the territory to a certain extent. I've dealt with burnout a few times myself, usually when I've worked in really unhealthy agencies. I've gotten much better with setting limits around my availability. Good supervision is key. I think it really helps to have a good supervisor that can help you process your cases and set limits. And take your vacation time!!! I had so much saved up that I couldn't carry anymore. I'm using a bunch this summer and will still have a bunch left. I think it's saving my sanity. The great thing about social work is that you can transition to working with another population, move into an administrative role, or do something different all together. Take care of yourself. If you're starting to hate your job it's a big sign that something has to change.

i have had 4 supervisions in 3 years. in my 7 years here i have had a total of 7 supervision meetings. every time i new person comes they always say the same thing. "i know that you have had a lot of supervisor in a short time but i am planning on being here for the long haul" i guess 6 months is the long haul now.

the last boss i had actually refused to let me take my vacation as she was taking hers at the same time. in a total of 7 years i have taken maybe 4 weeks off. but i am leaving on Saturday for 3 weeks to Italy. its the only thing keeping me going right now.

Thoughts_Arrive

weed and alcohol make depression worse if that is what the OP has.

Green Circle

chadwick wrote:

smoke weed every chance you get. whiskey works for some, not so much for others. and meditate several times a day.

tell the prick who threatens you to fucking bring it. you do need weapons at the house just in case. guns come in handy as does a bat or a big dog.

:roll: sigh.....

I would agree with comebackgirl. Take the time you need to get your head in order. If you have the vacation time then use it. Your job will get done. Its not YOUR company. If you don't have the time then take a leave of absence for medical reasons. If you are not feeling better about working there by the time it comes to go back to work then, re evaluate and see if you need to change career paths. I would do this sooner than later.

its sounds like you are hurting pretty bad. I bet there is more than meets the eye here. I understand your job can get to you but I think there are other things bothering you as well.

Just my guess...

chadwick

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

weed and alcohol make depression worse if that is what the OP has.

if it werent for weed or alcohol i'd have been depressed 8,473,268 over
weed saves my life
to bad it isn;'t for free

pandora

I would say grow up, lots of people hate their jobs
they do it to provide for their families and elders
thats why it is called work

but I won't ...

I will suggest though if you are helping people that can be reward enough

this world is not about ourselves being satisfied it is about making others happy....
and in doing so
that is where you will find true happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment in your job
and in your personal life.

Chins fall, disillusionment happens, and we all get overwhelmed
especially after the loss of a loved one...
even years later.

Round two will come and you will feel strong again. Keep up the great work you are doing and don't forget to praise yourself... give to yourself and remember
you are needed and this is wonderful...
it is not how much we love but how much we are loved by others.

chadwick

Green Circle wrote:

chadwick wrote:

smoke weed every chance you get. whiskey works for some, not so much for others. and meditate several times a day.

tell the prick who threatens you to fucking bring it. you do need weapons at the house just in case. guns come in handy as does a bat or a big dog.

:roll: sigh.....

:roll: back @ ya

polaris_x

definitely sounds like burn out ... similar to paramedics ... social workers have a short life span before it can become detrimental to their own health ...

my advice to you is to look to another career or at the very least a secondary career where maybe you can cut your hours in your social work job ... consider yourself like a rechargeable battery ... used to be the motivation and a bit of time away could charge you up full but these days your battery drains faster and it's much harder to charge ...

if your motivation was to contribute to your community in your work - there are a thousand ways you can do that ... hopefully there is a choice for you ... good luck ...

polaris_x

pandora wrote:

I would say grow up, lots of people hate their jobs
they do it to provide for their families and elders
thats why it is called work

but I won't ...

:? but you kinda did ...

Thoughts_Arrive

PureandEasy

I would definitely suggest going to a doctor - between the aspects of your job and your mother's passing, you probably are depressed. Take some time off and see a doctor.

StillHere

first, i am so sorry that all this has piled up on you and is making your life so miserable. truly sorry for your loss..i know its a difficult time

if it were me, i would see a competent professional regarding the imminent depression and anxiety over your job..sounds like its pervading all areas of your life

then...i would take a deep look inside to see if the work you are doing is still truly satisfying to you. as pandi said, not all people have the luxury of having a work life that is satisfying, but in your line of work there are so many alternatives, you are sure to find something less stressful and still satisfying. if after taking a good long look at your job...you find it intolerable, look into branching out into a different area in your social work. like another poster said, don't leave on bad terms, whether or not you return to this job you still need the references for wherever you choose to land.

just as important..or maybe more so...if you find the threats to yourself and your family credible then that needs to be handled by the appropriate people..law enforcement if necessary .... it sounds hard to say that seeing as how this person obviously has gone through a lot in life..but threatening you and yours is not acceptable under any circumstances

i can't express enough how important it is to take care of the depression that is taking over your life. meds are not always a bad thing..sometimes they can get you over a big hump and allow you to see the light on the other side of the hill

good luck

RYEzupSF

sounds like you and I have basically the same job- chronically homeless, mentally ill, hiv+, I would guess there is lots of substance abuse too. I've been doing this for about 10 years and like you used to work really long days, weekends, non-stop. Not healthy!! ...I agree 100% with ComebackGirl. Good supervision is key. Support from co-workers and bosses is absolutely necessary to deal with our clientele. and use your vacation!! I finally starting using mine and now I use it before I have it. ...A few years ago I was feeling the same way- couldn't picture going to work every day. I took 3 weeks off, travelled, did my thing and when I came back I created new boundaries, stopped the long hours, started leaving work at work and making sure to do things that fed my spirit- travel, friends, music, running, whatever.

Take some time off. Not just a week- several. Sounds like you need a nice, long break where you have enough time to decompress from work and then have some leftover time to just relax.

the work we do is incredibly challenging and you have to put so much of yourself into it. I hope you can take some time to redirect some of that energy back to yourself. Good luck and hang in there.

pandora

polaris_x wrote:

pandora wrote:

I would say grow up, lots of people hate their jobs
they do it to provide for their families and elders
thats why it is called work

but I won't ...

:? but you kinda did ...

BUT I said the good stuff that matters which really applies to him

comebackgirl

fife wrote:

comebackgirl wrote:

I'm a social worker too. I think burn out comes along with the territory to a certain extent. I've dealt with burnout a few times myself, usually when I've worked in really unhealthy agencies. I've gotten much better with setting limits around my availability. Good supervision is key. I think it really helps to have a good supervisor that can help you process your cases and set limits. And take your vacation time!!! I had so much saved up that I couldn't carry anymore. I'm using a bunch this summer and will still have a bunch left. I think it's saving my sanity. The great thing about social work is that you can transition to working with another population, move into an administrative role, or do something different all together. Take care of yourself. If you're starting to hate your job it's a big sign that something has to change.

i have had 4 supervisions in 3 years. in my 7 years here i have had a total of 7 supervision meetings. every time i new person comes they always say the same thing. "i know that you have had a lot of supervisor in a short time but i am planning on being here for the long haul" i guess 6 months is the long haul now.

the last boss i had actually refused to let me take my vacation as she was taking hers at the same time. in a total of 7 years i have taken maybe 4 weeks off. but i am leaving on Saturday for 3 weeks to Italy. its the only thing keeping me going right now.

Enjoy Italy! And I mean REALLY enjoy it. Leave work at work. It will be there waiting for you when you get back, so don't bring any of the stress of the job with you. Based on the amount of turnover, the lack of supervision and your boss' attitude...I would say GET OUT! It's amazing how much an unhealthy work environment can really impact you. At one point I worked at a crazy agency...really thought I had chosen the wrong field...until I found a new job with very supportive co-workers and realized it was really just about the environment I had been working in. Social workers are caretakers, but we forget to take care of ourselves way too often. And everyone else is just so used to us stepping up and doing what needs to be done, that unless we take time for ourselves and set limits no one else is ever going to do it for us. There is definitely a trickle down effect...the way your supervisors treat you will impact how you feel and in turn impact how you treat your clients. I think social work is one of those professions where it is really vital to like your job...to like your clients...or you just can't be effective. It's not a luxury in this field, it's a necessity. You have to have a sense of humor about it. There will always be those days when you don't want to go into work, but overall you have to enjoy the work because our biggest tool is our relationship with the client. Listen to yourself...if you need a change...honor that and make it.

BoltOfLightnin'

chadwick wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

weed and alcohol make depression worse if that is what the OP has.

weed saves my life

Same.

I was told by a therapist once that marijuana is more effective at treating mood disorders than any pill. The pharmaceutical companies don't want that research made public though. I believe...

BoltOfLightnin'

work burnout sucks.

sorry, don't have much advice.

i take a sick day like once a month. even if i'm not sick. 'mental health' days we call them.

go out and do something you enjoy on that day off and don't worry about what might be going on at work.

The Crooked Heart

I can totally see how those things could really take it's toll on you. I know we can't all love our jobs all the time but it's more serious if close friends and family notice a change. I work with children and I love my job 85% of the time. That other 15% really sucks. I really hope your vacation allows you to come back rejuvenated.

marcos

You can only do social work for so long in my opinion. It has nothing to do with you necessarily as a person can only take so much exposure to wreckage that is some peoples' lives. It's obviously good to help people and give back which can be very rewarding and fuels some people to do it all there lives. But that's only for some people. Please do not turn to alcohol or drugs, even if prescribed by a doctor, as it is only a short term solution to much bigger problem. It sounds like you've done your part for society now take care of yourself because nobody else is.