Funeral Songs
JOEJOEJOE
Posts: 10,483
My dad, unfortunately, may only have a few months to live. He is currently under hospice care at my parents' residence.
He or my mom never did any funeral preplanning, so I am the one who will be making the arrangements.
I am planning on playing a few melancholy songs during which his mourners can remember my dad in their own way.
So far, I have come up with "Man of the Hour" and "long road" by PJ.
Also, "I shall be released" by The Band, and "Keep me in your heart" by Warren Zevon are possibilities.
Planning a parent's funeral is obviously a very morbid task.
He or my mom never did any funeral preplanning, so I am the one who will be making the arrangements.
I am planning on playing a few melancholy songs during which his mourners can remember my dad in their own way.
So far, I have come up with "Man of the Hour" and "long road" by PJ.
Also, "I shall be released" by The Band, and "Keep me in your heart" by Warren Zevon are possibilities.
Planning a parent's funeral is obviously a very morbid task.
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My Dad had never mentioned it so it was strange to find out he knew what he wanted at his funeral and had never let us know until then.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuQrLsTUcN0
First Time Ever I Saw Your Face - Johnny Cash (this is both haunting and beautiful)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdSIlVZhsDw
Roads - Portishead (this still makes me almost cry... i dunno why)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQYsGWh_vpE
Father & Son - Cat Stevens (perhaps a bit cliched... but the sentiment is there)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jek6iP6AuAQ
Asleep - Smiths
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CGIii_eTOk
sorry to hear about your news.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhhRLIgfqt8
Hey Joe, i am sorry to hear about your dad. i also had to bury both parents and the one tip i will give concerning music is pick something that had a connection to your dad and you mom and their lives. those are great songs but might not have any connection to the person. Ask your dad what he wants. I can tell you that at my mom funeral, we picked their wedding song which might not be "normal" but it seemed to fit the occasion in some strange way.
Again i am so sorry to hear about your dad and my thoughts to go you and your family.
I feel so bad for what you are going through.
You're right. You are a monster! You are sick! Get help!
At least, I am not a fuck-up! A lying fuck-up!
I thought of that song.....we almost used it as our wedding processional song!
Thanks for the kind thoughts. You raise a very good point.....I need to ask my mom what songs will mean something to her and my dad.
I think "First Breath After Coma" by Explosions In The Sky is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard, especially live.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0o8JCxjjpM
I've always imagined that the music basically portrays how life goes.....
start - 2:26 - beginning stages
2:27 - 3:17 - when things get really good
3:18 - 4:24 - Death, which I like to imagine as a first breath after coma, not to suggest that life is boring or dull or lifeless, but to suggest that I really hope, as unreligious as I am, that what comes next is even better.
In terms of the song itself, I love all 9:34 minutes, but for my funeral, I would want it to end at 4:24.
Sorry to hear of what you're going through with your dad. I hope the remaining months are comfortable and peaceful for him, you and your family.
Don't fuck sheep. -EV 7/11/11
You can never have enough Neil in the mix. -EV 10/24/10
There's only one commandment: Don't be an asshole. -EV 5/6/10
Best wishes,
Brian
"Life Is What Happens To You When Your Busy Making Other Plans" John Lennon
This is a lovely song, I know it's meant to be romantic but I think it can be applicable to anyone special;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv36_QAVLsQ
Always makes me well up;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGDA0Hecw1k
Hope these help.
i'd pick something that has a special connection to your dad, that means something to your family.
i'm sure whatever you pick will end up being the best, the most perfect choice.
again, sorry to hear.
"They tell me that in time everything will be okay
Life goes back to normal
Like before you flew away
They tell me you can see me
So I'm trying not to cry
But sometimes I can't help it since Daddy learned to fly"
PBM
Wishlist Foundation: http://wishlistfoundation.org
As others have stated, you should probably ask your mom and dad, or an aunt or uncle, friends, whoever, about it. You have to remember this is about him. The songs should reflect his life, celebrate it and mourn his passing. While it would seem natural to pick songs that are basically a soundtrack to your grief and what you're feeling, it is not (and I DO NOT mean this in a rude way) about you. If he is not a Pearl Jam fan, then I wouldn't recommend Long Road or Man Of The Hour, as fitting as they may be. It is, as they say, his last party. Play some tunes he would want. Then after the funeral you can pull up those songs on your iPod and remember him in your own way.
Regardless of what you decide, I wish you and your family the best.
http://www.reverbnation.com/brianzilm
I am thinking that it would be a bit selfish of me to play songs of my choice, especially since my dad would never had heard ANY of them before (He is 84!)
He used to sing "Lady of Spain" when he drove, so I may ask my mom about that song!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVbkz_3lO3c this one is beautiful
I'm sorry Joe you must bear this
its hard to believe now but it will be some of your most cherished memories.
Much love and strength to you.
Hey Joe, i don't think it selfish of you at all. i also picked songs that i love but had a connect with my mom and dad. for example, my mom and me used to clean the house together when she was alive and sometimes she would play songs in Portuguese and sometime si would play songs that i liked. some were pearl jam which she hated. the key is pick songs that had a connect.
The Beatles - The End
orrrrrrr
The Beatles - In My Life
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3wvUwb4p4Q
There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends
I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
there is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more
I think asking your mom about some of your dad's favorite songs is a great idea. See how she feels about what music you use.
I lost my dad in 2007 at the age of 79. My mother selected the music for his funeral and it was all religious. I had no objections to what she chose since it was all meaningful to her and would have been to my dad too. But his favorite song was "Last Date" by Floyd Cramer and I wish we'd found a way to play that one. Not only would I have associated it with my dad, I think it also has the right mix of nostalgia/sense of parting for a memorial:
http://youtu.be/JvfG9uFswis
Big hugs to you and your family
Thanks!
Pearl Jam- Just Breathe (usually gets me)
Mumford & Sons- Timshel
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