Random Ramblings

RKCNDY

I have been spending the last few days on an island
There were no commercialized stores to be found anywhere...
no Target, no Wal Mart, no Safeway or WinCo
There wasn't even a stoplight to be found anywhere
...but gas costs $4.49/gal
There are several artist studios and they are run on the honor system...take what you like and leave the money in the box...it's great people still have that faith in others.
I visited this studio on Wednesday: http://studio420orcasisland.com/joomla/
thanks for thinking of me BD!

I came home to find a note in the mail from my mother. (we are not on speaking terms) It was written on stationary that has a picture of a cartoon cat dressed like an 80s Jane Fonda doing leg lifts.
It said: 'Aunt Patty died of breast cancer on April 16. Have a nice day '
WTF?!?! 'Have a nice day (smiley face)'?!?! Who writes a note, 'my sister died of a horrible terrible disease, have a nice day' and adds a flippin smiley face? I don't care if she was 'the pretty younger sister' she is a HUMAN BEING and deserves RESPECT. I know you have a huge stash of little flower cards that would have been more appropriate, but you use a stinking 'cartoon cat' to tell me somebody DIED?

I don't know my aunt that well, I first met her when I was 12. But she was a very glamorous woman, always perfectly dressed, she always had something nice to say, always looked on the brighter side of things, even if there was bad news. Her husband passed away of stomach cancer in 2001, shortly after her first diagnosis. Her mother passed away a few months later, but she carried on. She elected for a mascetomy. She was fine for 4 years, and then the cancer came back. She went for a second mascetomy (it was 2006 I think then)...I guess the cancer really wanted her.

My cousins are in Los Angeles now, I'd like to write to them, but I don't know what to say. Haven't talked to one of them since her father was going to chemo in 2000. I can't imagine how she feels, losing both parents so soon. Going to the funeral is not possible, unemployment pay sucks, and I don't even know if I'd be welcome there (my mother likes to tell lies and start family fights, so I don't know what stories she's been telling everybody).

I look back now and think, 'What was I doing on April 16?' oh yeah, going to Easy Street hoping to find 'Hormoaning' (is that ironic?) and 'Medium Rare', and enjoying watching Duff play. I feel guilty, now knowing that as I was enjoying myself, someone I know, lay dying.

But you can't live life full of regrets.

Aunt Patty, I'm glad that you got to travel, and see the world, you lived life to the fullest, and I can only hope to be half as wonderful as you.

josevolution

Sorry to hear about your loss my condolences ..

81

josevolution wrote:

Sorry to hear about your loss my condolences ..

fixed.

on a side note, back home there are a number of farmers that sell corn/honey/etc on teh side of the road. take what you want, leave the cash in the box/jar.

rural america is nice. big cities should be banned.

rollings

RKCNDY wrote:

My cousins are in Los Angeles now, I'd like to write to them, but I don't know what to say

You should do this.

You'll feel tons better, and I'm sure you will think of something wonderful to say (if you feel your mom may have caused trouble, its probably best not to mention her in your letter) I wouldn't even mention your delay in finding out--your cousins will very much appreciate hearing your warm words of your memories of your aunt for sure.

BinauralJam

First paragraph sounded like a Great Time. Sorry about the rest.

pinkbutterfly

Half Full wrote:

RKCNDY wrote:

My cousins are in Los Angeles now, I'd like to write to them, but I don't know what to say

You should do this.

You'll feel tons better, and I'm sure you will think of something wonderful to say (if you feel your mom may have caused trouble, its probably best not to mention her in your letter) I wouldn't even mention your delay in finding out--your cousins will very much appreciate hearing your warm words of your memories of your aunt for sure.

Sorry to hear about your aunt. I would still send a sympathy card to my cousins.

PureandEasy

A hate to hear when family members are not speaking to each other.

You only live once, and you only have one mother. My mother is 80 and I’m so lucky to still have her with us. My father too.

I can’t speak for your circumstances, I just wish they were different.

My condolences for the loss of you aunt.

PilateOfTheStorm

Sorry to hear about your aunt, my condolences go to you and your family :(

Also, sorry to hear about you and your mum - I hope things get better in the future, I wish things were different for you guys.

I would write to your cousins like Half Full said. Regardless of your mum, they are still relatives and they will definitely appreciate you thinking of them and your aunt.

I hope you don't feel bad for finding out the news later - You shouldn't feel bad for enjoying yourself, You had no idea what was going on and only found out afterwards. It's not your fault.

RKCNDY

thanks for the kind words...I had something longer written, but the site logged me out, so when I hit 'post' it said 'you need to log in' and then lost everything.

Pure and electric: 4 years ago, my mother basically told me, 'you're worthless, and I have no use for you in my life anymore'. I'm her only child, and if that's what she wants, so be it.

I suppose I'm just sad that I don't 'feel' something, I know I should, but there isn't anything there. Be grateful for your family, if you have that close squishy bond that other people will never know. Ed pretty much sums up how I feel about my family, 'Longing to Belong'.

Anywho...I'll email my cousin, and ask for her address, seems so impersonal to send an email condolence. D

Jeanwah

I'm sorry about your aunt.

I hate hearing (or reading) when family is estranged; how awkward to get a note in the mail rather than a phone call. If you can't do anything about your mom, maybe you can reach out to extended family. It's never too late for that.

Black Diamond

Really sorry about your aunt and you have a big worth to us... really.

mikalina

Sorry for your loss .....

pinkbutterfly

PureandEasy wrote:

A hate to hear when family members are not speaking to each other.

You only live once, and you only have one mother. My mother is 80 and I’m so lucky to still have her with us. My father too.

I can’t speak for your circumstances, I just wish they were different.

I hear what you are saying. My father died at 49 from a brain tumor. My mother is 74. She had stage 3 breast cancer at 70. Like most mothers and daughters, we've had our differences, but I have put them aside because life is just too damn short.

That said, I understand everyone's situation is different.

Claireack

So sorry to hear what happened and your mothers bizarre note.

Always remember though, there are people on here who care about you.

PilateOfTheStorm

that's sad, about you and your mother, what she said. it's her loss - you are definitely NOT worthless
i understand your situation, and empathise with you - relationships with parents are the hardest ones there are

i hope everything goes well with your cousins and they appreciate what you're doing

PureandEasy

Yes, absolutely, I guess there are circumstances where there is no reconciliation. And yes it is her loss.

I agree with Jeanwah too, reach out to your extended family, offer your condolences and maybe you can develop a long lasting relationship with them.

Don't give up on family all together.