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static111static111 Posts: 4,889
edited March 2020 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
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Scio me nihil scire

There are no kings inside the gates of eden
Post edited by static111 on

Comments

  • appieappie Posts: 1,441
    Love it...i always love songs played with just a guitar and a singer..keep up the good work..
    Pearl Jam 4 live
    h8 2 w8 for concerts
  • rollingsrollings Posts: 7,124
    I love it

    What a beautiful melody line
  • static111static111 Posts: 4,889
    Thank you friends!
    Scio me nihil scire

    There are no kings inside the gates of eden
  • mikalinamikalina Posts: 7,206
    very nice.... :D
    ********************************************************************************************* image
  • zarocatzarocat Posts: 1,901
    Fantstic man. Comes across as genuine.

    What I think: Take out the second of the first two 'again' and just leave 'time' there. Then at the end of the song use the 'again' two times. For me, if I did that let's say, it would give me an opening in the song and then a closing.
    This make sense ? It does in my head :?

    Awesome job dude.
    1996: Toronto
    1998: Barrie
    2000: Montreal, Toronto, Auburn Hills
    2003: Cleveland, Buffalo, Toronto, Montreal
    2004: Boston X2, Grand Rapids
    2005: Kitchener, London, Hamilton, Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto
    2006: Toronto X2
    2009: Toronto
    2011: PJ20, Montreal, Toronto X2, Hamilton
    2012: Manchester X2, Amsterdam X2, Prague, Berlin X2, Philadelphia, Missoula
    2013: Pittsburg, Buffalo
    2014: Milan, Trieste, Vienna, Berlin, Stockholm, Oslo, Detroit
    2016: Ottawa, Toronto X2
    2018: Padova, Rome, Prague, Krakow, Berlin, Barcelona
    2022: Ottawa, Hamilton, Toronto
    2023: Chicago X2
    2024: New York X2
  • pickupyourwillpickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
    :thumbup:

    "I remember when we first met
    And I thought that you were heaven sent
    I thought that you were heaven sent"

    As I was reading this, I thought it might be a good twist to try scent at the end instead of sent--a play on words--"I thought you were heaven's scent". or " I thought you had heaven's scent."--something along those lines.

    also liked this line...

    "Sometimes things they go like this
    For every hit another's missed"
  • static111static111 Posts: 4,889
    zarocat wrote:
    Fantstic man. Comes across as genuine.

    What I think: Take out the second of the first two 'again' and just leave 'time' there. Then at the end of the song use the 'again' two times. For me, if I did that let's say, it would give me an opening in the song and then a closing.
    This make sense ? It does in my head :?

    Awesome job dude.

    i like this idea....thanks for the editing! I'm gonna try it a couple times and see how it goes.

    And thanks for all the positive comments from everyone else!
    Scio me nihil scire

    There are no kings inside the gates of eden
  • zarocatzarocat Posts: 1,901
    static111 wrote:
    zarocat wrote:

    i like this idea....thanks for the editing! I'm gonna try it a couple times and see how it goes.

    The reason why I mentioned this is that when you take out the 2nd 'again' you leave the listener guessing if indeed it was again after you gave that listener the possibility of an again by mentioning it once. Follow me ? Then when 'again' is doubled in the end, you then reassure the listener, that yes, indeed, it was again. Plus, when you take out the 2nd 'again' in the beginning you leave the listener with an expectation to hear the word 'again' but you shut the listener out ... in a sense you force the listener to engage through an expectation that has naturally ensued on their part. For me anyway, that is how I found that I engage with a song.
    I find that with Eddie's style. He leaves you hanging (within the song) with these sounds he makes with his voice that are not considered from the english language :lol: , making me want to follow the song through to the end to find out what the fuck is going on.

    Welcome to my brain :lol:
    1996: Toronto
    1998: Barrie
    2000: Montreal, Toronto, Auburn Hills
    2003: Cleveland, Buffalo, Toronto, Montreal
    2004: Boston X2, Grand Rapids
    2005: Kitchener, London, Hamilton, Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto
    2006: Toronto X2
    2009: Toronto
    2011: PJ20, Montreal, Toronto X2, Hamilton
    2012: Manchester X2, Amsterdam X2, Prague, Berlin X2, Philadelphia, Missoula
    2013: Pittsburg, Buffalo
    2014: Milan, Trieste, Vienna, Berlin, Stockholm, Oslo, Detroit
    2016: Ottawa, Toronto X2
    2018: Padova, Rome, Prague, Krakow, Berlin, Barcelona
    2022: Ottawa, Hamilton, Toronto
    2023: Chicago X2
    2024: New York X2
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