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Text messages from bartenders

CAVSTARR313CAVSTARR313 Posts: 8,756
edited March 2011 in All Encompassing Trip
I live within walking distance to many bars and restaurants. Being single, I find myself at the bar many nights a week. I have befriended many bartenders and waitresses. Some are cute, and I am interested, and they know it. But sometimes I get the feeling when they text me and say "come up here and hang out with me" that they are just padding their paychecks... Should I quit tipping? see what happens? kind of a weird situation.. any thoughts?
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.
Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • unlost dogsunlost dogs Posts: 12,553
    Oh, Cavstarr, you sweet, innocent boy... you are too cute for words.
    15 years of sharks 06/30/08 (MA), 05/17/10 (Boston), 09/03/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/04/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/30/12 (Missoula), 07/19/13 (Wrigley), 10/15/13 (Worcester), 10/16/13 (Worcester), 10/25/13 (Hartford), 12/4/13 (Vancouver), 12/6/13 (Seattle), 6/26/14 (Berlin), 6/28/14 (Stockholm), 10/16/14 (Detroit)
  • stargirl69stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    sounds like a wee bit of padding :?
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
  • conmanconman Posts: 7,493
    ask them to hang out when they aren't working and go from there
  • CAVSTARR313CAVSTARR313 Posts: 8,756
    conman wrote:
    ask them to hang out when they aren't working and go from there
    I have.. with a few of them.. thats why this is kind of confusing to me
    None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.
    Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    do you get free drinks? If you order a mixed drink, do they double the drink? If you answered no, then they're padding their paychecks.
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • CAVSTARR313CAVSTARR313 Posts: 8,756
    RKCNDY wrote:
    do you get free drinks? If you order a mixed drink, do they double the drink? If you answered no, then they're padding their paychecks.
    Always free drinks.. but thats just it, I make it up on the backside with a big tip!!!
    None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.
    Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
  • voidofmanvoidofman Posts: 4,009
    I ain't the one, the one to get played like a pooh butt
    See I'm from the street, so I know what's up
    On these silly games that's played by the women
    I'm only happy when I'm goin up in em
    But you know, I'm a menace to society
    But girls in biker shorts are so fly to me
    So I step to em, with aggression
    Listen to the kid, and learn a lesson today
    See they think we narrow minded
    Cause they got a cute face, and big-behinded
    So I walk over and say "How ya doin?"
    See I'm only down for screwin, but you know
    ya gotta play it off cool
    Cause if they catch you slippin, you'll get schooled
    And they'll get you for your money, son
    Next thing you know you're gettin their hair and they nails done
    Fool, and they'll let you show em off
    But when it comes to sex, they got a bad cough
    Or a headache, it's all give and no take
    Run out of money, and watch your heart break
    They'll drop you like a bad habit
    cause a brother with money yo, they gotta have it
    Messin with me though, they gets none
    You can't juice Ice Cube girl, cause I ain't the one
  • PearlOfAGirlPearlOfAGirl Posts: 15,993
    conman wrote:
    ask them to hang out when they aren't working and go from there
    I agree! ;)

    Wish you were here...
    ♥~RIP Dad
  • gimmesometruth27gimmesometruth27 Posts: 23,160
    Cavstarr313 wrote:
    I live within walking distance to many bars and restaurants. Being single, I find myself at the bar many nights a week. I have befriended many bartenders and waitresses. Some are cute, and I am interested, and they know it. But sometimes I get the feeling when they text me and say "come up here and hang out with me" that they are just padding their paychecks... Should I quit tipping? see what happens? kind of a weird situation.. any thoughts?
    if you hang out with them outside of the bar or after they get off work i would think that they are genuine. my bands play in a lot of bars and when i was going out all the time bartenders or waitresses would ask me or me and my friends to come up and have a few drinks. we would go out to the casino with them a lot of times after their shifts and just kind of hang out and do the things that friends do. maybe go eat late night breakfast or whatever. they became very good friends of mine. i had a g/f a lot of the time and they knew that so they never hit on me or anything. she did not like that i hung out with them but i was friends with them long before i was with my g/f. i just think that in my experience they would ask me up there to help them pass the time and they did not take advantage of me in that way like trying to fill their tipjar or whatever. since i have cut back on my drinking they still call or text just to hang out, but they are cool with the fact that i will not be buying anything from them other than a coffee or something and they have been great about it..

    sorry that that was not much advice for you, but just play it cool and see what happens. if they flirt with you a lot or pay you a lot of attention they may want your money. if they seem shy or passive they might want YOU.
    "You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry."  - Lincoln

    "Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    Cavstarr313 wrote:
    RKCNDY wrote:
    do you get free drinks? If you order a mixed drink, do they double the drink? If you answered no, then they're padding their paychecks.
    Always free drinks.. but thats just it, I make it up on the backside with a big tip!!!

    do you tip more than what the free drinks would be worth?
    you have fun right?
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,408
    Oh gee. It sounds like being in the "custumer" zone is kinda like being in the "friend" zone.

    How would you ever get out of it unless you ask the women to go out with you when they aren't working?
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • LloydXmasLloydXmas Posts: 7,539
    This is why I would never own a bar. Damn bartenders killing the profits :lol::lol:

    Cut the big tips in half. See what happens. If they start charging you. Then you'll know
  • CAVSTARR313CAVSTARR313 Posts: 8,756
    BabaBooey1979 wrote:
    This is why I would never own a bar. Damn bartenders killing the profits :lol::lol:

    Cut the big tips in half. See what happens. If they start charging you. Then you'll know
    This is good advise
    None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.
    Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
  • marcosmarcos Posts: 2,112
    justam wrote:
    Oh gee. It sounds like being in the "custumer" zone is kinda like being in the "friend" zone.

    How would you ever get out of it unless you ask the women to go out with you when they aren't working?

    I think the friend zone thing is over applied. Stuff like that and sexual harrasment only apply if you're ugly! :D
  • Suzi78Suzi78 Posts: 362
    Cavstarr313 wrote:
    I live within walking distance to many bars and restaurants. Being single, I find myself at the bar many nights a week. I have befriended many bartenders and waitresses. Some are cute, and I am interested, and they know it. But sometimes I get the feeling when they text me and say "come up here and hang out with me" that they are just padding their paychecks... Should I quit tipping? see what happens? kind of a weird situation.. any thoughts?

    Hmm...If you like her, then ask her out. It's as simple as that. If you stop tipping her, she'll just think you're being cheap and nothing good will come out of it. Even if she actually really did like you before and not just your tip, she sure won't like you as much when you start giving her a bad tip.
    How I choose to feel is how I am
  • unlost dogsunlost dogs Posts: 12,553
    By the way, Cav _ any advice I provide will cost you $1 per post, $5 if it's witty enough that somebody replied by quoting it.

    Girl's gotta make a living, you know.
    15 years of sharks 06/30/08 (MA), 05/17/10 (Boston), 09/03/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/04/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/30/12 (Missoula), 07/19/13 (Wrigley), 10/15/13 (Worcester), 10/16/13 (Worcester), 10/25/13 (Hartford), 12/4/13 (Vancouver), 12/6/13 (Seattle), 6/26/14 (Berlin), 6/28/14 (Stockholm), 10/16/14 (Detroit)
  • conmanconman Posts: 7,493
    unlost dogs wrote:
    By the way, Cav _ any advice I provide will cost you $1 per post, $5 if it's witty enough that somebody replied by quoting it.

    Girl's gotta make a living, you know.
    :thumbup: ;)
  • DissidentmanDissidentman Posts: 15,378
    I showed this thread to my bartender, and she is just shaking her head.

    :lol:
  • youngsteryoungster Posts: 6,576
    VoidOfMan wrote:
    I ain't the one, the one to get played like a pooh butt
    See I'm from the street, so I know what's up
    On these silly games that's played by the women
    I'm only happy when I'm goin up in em
    But you know, I'm a menace to society
    But girls in biker shorts are so fly to me
    So I step to em, with aggression
    Listen to the kid, and learn a lesson today
    See they think we narrow minded
    Cause they got a cute face, and big-behinded
    So I walk over and say "How ya doin?"
    See I'm only down for screwin, but you know
    ya gotta play it off cool
    Cause if they catch you slippin, you'll get schooled
    And they'll get you for your money, son
    Next thing you know you're gettin their hair and they nails done
    Fool, and they'll let you show em off
    But when it comes to sex, they got a bad cough
    Or a headache, it's all give and no take
    Run out of money, and watch your heart break
    They'll drop you like a bad habit
    cause a brother with money yo, they gotta have it
    Messin with me though, they gets none
    You can't juice Ice Cube girl, cause I ain't the one

    YES! The good ole NWA. They really did know what they were talking about, no? This is a great obscure reference of getting played for your $$
    He who forgets will be destined to remember.

    9/29/04 Boston, 6/28/08 Mansfield, 8/23/09 Chicago, 5/15/10 Hartford
    5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
    8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
    EV Solo: 6/16/11 Boston, 6/18/11 Hartford,
  • RYEzupSFRYEzupSF Posts: 6,003
    free drinks for big tips are pretty standard. If you're diggin on someone make a move, hang out outside the bar, and see what happens. If its just a friendly thing you're still getting stiff drinks at a reduced rate. If it turns out you are just padding her paycheck, she is still padding your buzz, and it sounds like you're both having a good time. 8-) Word of warning- if it is just a sex thing be careful! A good bartender is hard to find, sex can mess it up. You don't want to feel awkward in your local. :?
    BrowserPreview_tmp_zps26eff4aa.gif

    Don't fuck sheep. -EV 7/11/11
    You can never have enough Neil in the mix. -EV 10/24/10
    There's only one commandment: Don't be an asshole. -EV 5/6/10
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