Stalking the band

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I'm very curious about everyone's comments about stalking the band. "Your cousin struck up a conversation with Mike when he was his waiter, so he must be a stalker." "You want to send a letter to Eddie? You're a stalker!" "I saw one of the guys on the train with his kid, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be a stalker."

How do you define stalking? Is everyone supposed to pretend they don't recognize them? Are they not people like you and I? People I don't know talk to me all the time when I'm out and that doesn't bother me - even if I'm with my family. And if someone wants to tell me they think I'm cool - well who doesn't like that?!

I certainly agree that they & their privacy should be respected and I generally don't strike up conversations with celebrities I see (and have never asked for an autograph or picture). But I also wonder if all this "respect for their privacy" is what can make celebrities feel all alone in a room full of people. (Another thing I wonder is: since Eddie Vedder is one of the very few celebrities in the world I would love to talk to, under what circumstances should I pass up that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity should it ever arise?)

Thoughts?

Vedderlution_Baby

I would see someone as "stalking" as going beyond the chance of a random encounter and trying to constantly place themselves into a situation where they know/expect to run into someone and every time it happens they barrage them.



Someone was labeled a stalker because they struck up a convo with mike when they were waiting on him?

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Vedderlution_Baby! wrote:

I would see someone as "stalking" as going beyond the chance of a random encounter and trying to constantly place themselves into a situation where they know/expect to run into someone and every time it happens they barrage them.

What about those who wait outside the venues before or after the shows?

Vedderlution_Baby! wrote:

Someone was labeled a stalker because they struck up a convo with mike when they were waiting on him?

http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=295870

Vedderlution_Baby

scb wrote:

What about those who wait outside the venues before or after the shows?




http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=295870

I meant more in every day aspects of life. Trying to find out where they shop and constantly going there to run into them....stuff like that. The waiting outside the venue is expected.

Ledbetterman10

scb wrote:

http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=295870

that's not stalking. that's a chance meeting and if he's open to answering questions from a fan, you should ask some.

I think that the Mike McCreadys of the world don't mind getting noticed in public. It's not like he's a huge celebrity or anything, so the only people who are going to recognize him are going to be his fans. it's the people like Britany Spears who get stalked by paparazzi who have it bad.

BlackCorduroy

scb wrote:

What about those who wait outside the venues before or after the shows?

More often than not it's a waste of time, but not stalking.

I would only consider it stalking if you follow them anywhere or try to find them in hotels, their homes, etc.

LONGRD

Maybe back in the 90's but nowadays they all have kids and wives/girlfriends, their lives are too boring to stalk now.

Dead Man Walking

Trying to "run into" someone is lame...even waiting after a show is lame. Just go home. They are just regular people who happen to make music. they're good at what they do and that's it.

When I go to shows I listen to the music then I leave after...

And can someone tell me why it's a big deal to meet someone? and please don't say "I wanted to tell them how much their music means to me"...

pj14

if u see ed eating in a resturaunt with his family would u go up to him no way.if we bumped into each other it would be different

pj14

stood outside there hotel and i would never go to thier houses but, i wouldnt go to anyones house even if i knew them before i called to ask if it was ok.

LukinFan

Ledbetterman10 wrote:

that's not stalking. that's a chance meeting and if he's open to answering questions from a fan, you should ask some.

I think that the Mike McCreadys of the world don't mind getting noticed in public. It's not like he's a huge celebrity or anything, so the only people who are going to recognize him are going to be his fans. it's the people like Britany Spears who get stalked by paparazzi who have it bad.

I agree 100%- but then again, I think Britney likes it and if it went away, who knows what she would do

_

What if you find yourself standing next to Eddie at the urinals? Do you strike up a conversation?

100 Pacer

as i was walking back to my hotel after the Benaroya concert, and keep in mind there was NO ONE else around, i came up to a crosswalk and i had the right of way BUT i decided not to cross as i could hear a car coming up in the distance so i decided to hang back for a second and let the car drive through. sure enough, as the car came closer (late 90s BMW M3) i could see the lone occupant of the car and it just happened to be Mr. Cameron driving home after the show. needless to say, i don't blame him for going through the intersection despite the fact he didn't make the light, i mean here was a fan standing with a poster in hand who had obviously just left the show, no doubt Matt would have been thinking "oh God! i'm being stalked here!"

AnnaMelinda

Dead Man Walking wrote:

Trying to "run into" someone is lame...even waiting after a show is lame. Just go home. They are just regular people who happen to make music. they're good at what they do and that's it.

When I go to shows I listen to the music then I leave after...

And can someone tell me why it's a big deal to meet someone? and please don't say "I wanted to tell them how much their music means to me"...

Everyone is different.

There are people on this board that I would like to meet.

I've heard what they had to say... think they are cool and would love to meet them. There is a guy who writes poetry on here and I swear I developed a little crush on him based on his poetry alone. Am I stalking him... No. No at all. Given the chance would I love to meet him? Hell yeah!!

If you don't understand that then you are just different than me... that's all.

That said... I haven't hung out and waited for the guys since the early 90's.

To each their own.

AnnaMelinda

scb wrote:

What if you find yourself standing next to Eddie at the urinals? Do you strike up a conversation?

If I'm standing next to Ed at a urinal I am either stalking or waaaaay too drunk!

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Dead Man Walking wrote:

And can someone tell me why it's a big deal to meet someone? and please don't say "I wanted to tell them how much their music means to me"...

Oh no, don't worry, I don't want to tell Ed how much his music means to me.

I just want to thank him for writing "pro-choice" on his arm during MTV Unplugged and for that sincere scowl on his face during Master's of War at the Bob Dylan special.... And then lick him.




















(just kidding....)

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suppafreak wrote:

If I'm standing next to Ed at a urinal I am either stalking or waaaaay too drunk!

GOSSArDgEEK

scb wrote:

Oh no, don't worry, I don't want to tell Ed how much his music means to me.

I just want to thank him for writing "pro-choice" on his arm during MTV Unplugged and for that sincere scowl on his face during Master's of War at the Bob Dylan special.... And then lick him.




















(just kidding....)

:D:DVery funny.

Cosmo

The way I see it....
A Stalker is someone with a dillusional view that there is some sort of real... bi-lateral connection with someone else. A Stalker will seek and acquire personal information (such as addresses) and actually use that information... a fan typically doesn't care about that kind of crap. A Fan will be spotted at typical places (outside venues for gigs or special appearances), while a stalker will find out flight schedules, hotels or restaurants and create 'random' meetings.
...
I know a couple of musicians... as a fan to artist. I understand and respect that line and stay on my side of it. They are not my friends and I never refer to them as friends... I am their fan. I'll talk to them at their public appearances... sometimes help them carry out their guitars and equipment to their cars... but, that's about it.

G Force

scb wrote:

What if you find yourself standing next to Eddie at the urinals? Do you strike up a conversation?

I met Mike in a bathroom in San Francisco. It was funny. I work at a newspaper and someone told me where they were eating after the third night in SF. So i took my crew to that restaurant. No other fans were there except the publisher of the paper I worked for who was also a big fan and my boss. HA. So Mike goes into the bathroom and I didn't want to disturb him at dinner so yes...I followed. I politely waited till he was done and then said my piece and shook his hand. As I am shaking his hand in the bathroom the door swings open and its my boss doing the EXACT SAME THING. HA. It was a funny moment. Mike was there and so was Stone and they were both incredibly cool with all of it.

They cool as hell and enjoy meeting their fans.

ToadJode

I think hanging out in front of their hotel waiting for them to make an appearance classifies as stalkerish.

Running into one of them in public and saying hello does not seem stalkerish at all.

Guitarhero27

TipJammer wrote:

I met Mike in a bathroom in San Francisco. It was funny. I work at a newspaper and someone told me where they were eating after the third night in SF. So i took my crew to that restaurant. No other fans were there except the publisher of the paper I worked for who was also a big fan and my boss. HA. So Mike goes into the bathroom and I didn't want to disturb him at dinner so yes...I followed. I politely waited till he was done and then said my piece and shook his hand. As I am shaking his hand in the bathroom the door swings open and its my boss doing the EXACT SAME THING. HA. It was a funny moment. Mike was there and so was Stone and they were both incredibly cool with all of it.

They cool as hell and enjoy meeting their fans.

did you let him wash first? that's not really stalking but it does violate "Bathroom Ettiquette for Men"

Rule #1: No talking in the Men's room.

Cosmo

Dead Man Walking wrote:

Trying to "run into" someone is lame...even waiting after a show is lame. Just go home. They are just regular people who happen to make music. they're good at what they do and that's it.

When I go to shows I listen to the music then I leave after...

And can someone tell me why it's a big deal to meet someone? and please don't say "I wanted to tell them how much their music means to me"...

...
To each, his own... I suppose.
Still... I do have a couple of things I am glad I have... for waiting around outside after a gig. I mean, I got a cool autograph for my Ed tamborine... it's personalized and has this drawing of a wave on it... and I have a couple of guitar picks he handed to me. And I like my picture of me and Dave Grohl.
So, yeah... it's kinda cheesy... and i admit... I'm a geek.
I'm also glad that you just leave and don't hang around after the shows. I have found that the artists tend to rush to their cars when there's a big crowd waiting outside... and are really nice and spend more time with us when there are only a few. if there are a huge crowd all the time... I'd probably leave, too.

Daisy_Buchanan

Cosmo wrote:

...
To each, his own... I suppose.
Still... I do have a couple of things I am glad I have... for waiting around outside after a gig. I mean, I got a cool autograph for my Ed tamborine... it's personalized and has this drawing of a wave on it... and I have a couple of guitar picks he handed to me. And I like my picture of me and Dave Grohl.
So, yeah... it's kinda cheesy... and i admit... I'm a geek.
I'm also glad that you just leave and don't hang around after the shows. I have found that the artists tend to rush to their cars when there's a big crowd waiting outside... and are really nice and spend more time with us when there are only a few. if there are a huge crowd all the time... I'd probably leave, too.

I have to say, I admire the people who are able to talk to the band...I'm painfully shy in person so I wouldn't even attempt to wait for them outside the venue, and I don't think that's stalking. If they didn't want to talk to a fan, they don't have to, so I think it's probably copacetic all around.

ahn375

i don't think there's anything wrong with waiting to meet the band when the band is making themselves available, like if they choose to stop and sign/talk before or after a show. or if you're pouring their coffee. but finding out their schedule and just happening to plan your schedule around it, not so much.

it also kind of bugs me that "stalking" has become the standard word for if anyone meets a band after a show. it creeps me out a bit, because i have stood out to meet some artists but not in a stalking way.

5882300

I would like to talk to Mike for a couple minutes and that is it.

melva02

Goddamn it movie star
Can't you just stay a minute more
We'd be the best of friends
I've been waiting forever

Cosmo

5882300 wrote:

I would like to talk to Mike for a couple minutes and that is it.

...
Really... that's all you need. Any longer... and it would get creepy.

eldarion75

This is my way of looking at it and it's worked for me several times with each band member...
If the band are nearby it's important to be as cool as you can be(you'll be fuckin shitting yourself inside) but be cool, keep it easy, and most importantly, be respectful of the situation as in if theyre eating, leave them to it, if theyre with family leave em totally alone, it's all about the approach, especially with Ed. If your relaxed, smiling and have an open easy going approach, the guys will be cool with you.

Done this way, an autograph or even a picture usually isn't a hassle.
Avoid any hysterics and the 'your music saved me from ______/made me do______/ kinda stuff 'cos they've heard it to death and it won't enamour you to them at all.

I've met ed three times, years apart and he's remembered me the second and third time and for a good reason, because i didn't lose it.

I lost it when i walked off but that's completely ok then.

best of luck and happy hunting!!

Mrs.Vedder78

Daisy_Buchanan wrote:

I have to say, I admire the people who are able to talk to the band...I'm painfully shy in person so I wouldn't even attempt to wait for them outside the venue, and I don't think that's stalking. If they didn't want to talk to a fan, they don't have to, so I think it's probably copacetic all around.

same here, after 17 years and 52 live shows I'm yet to wait by the bus after a show.
I'm to shy and I think I'd be to embarrassed ... though I did run into Mike and his wife at the West Palm Beach show on 2003, just walking around the venue checking out a sideband, they were both very nice to my husband and I.

I would love to meet Ed but I don't think it will ever happen because unless he knocks on my door to say Hello I doubt that I would ever approach him in any kind of circumstance

Mrs.Vedder78

melva02 wrote:

Goddamn it movie star
Can't you just stay a minute more
We'd be the best of friends
I've been waiting forever

LOL! I like the second one... when a fan starts begging then you know it's getting creepy