Public school vs. Private school
Blockhead
Posts: 1,538
I wanted to get some peoples opinions on here of my dilemma. My oldest daughter will be heading to 1st grade next year, and other daughter will be starting kindergarden. The public schools at the area we are moving to are average/good. I have not experiences them personally but have many many friends who have. The private (catholic)schools are very highly regarded in both academics and athletics. Me and my wife both attened these private catholic schools. We visited several schools this weekend and the atmosphere at the private schools seems much much better. Me and my wife are no longer religious and do not want to give money to the church, and have our children indoctrinated. I feel it would be very hyproctirical to send our kids to cahtolic schools and not belive in the overall message. It could also be a hard issue for our children as we would not go to church and I can see the other kids asking why/ parents being judgmental, and overall really not fitting in, as i know from experience on how catholics around that area act. But then again my family and I had a very good experience there, and it would mostly be the same families in that area. Money is no issue when it comes to my kids education, and I want them to have the best. What do you all think? I think teaching my kids questioning/logic when they come home (concerning questions on religion) would be beneficial.
This is really weighing on my mind.
This is really weighing on my mind.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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To me, placing a kid in a private school places them squarely in a clique from day 1. I believe the life lessons and diversity you find at public schools is generally a big advantage for a kid later in life. Just my opinion though and I don't have my kid in school yet, so what do I really know?
Looking at my first year university class last year in residence, there were a handful of kids that went to private schools. It turns out that they really did no better in school than the kids who went to 'normal' school. They said the education there was nice, lot more individual attention and helped them prepare, but at the same time, it did not prepare them for university where there is NO individual attention. Furthermore, talking to kids I know from private schools, they said the lack of diversity is pretty shocking when they compared it to the general population. My high-school was the fucking UN, kids from Somalia, Lebanon, China, Pakistan, Russia, Cuba, Venezuela, India, etc... Knowing people from all these different religious and cultural backgrounds was a huge benefit for me, instead of going to school with a bunch of white kids from Canada (I'm an American Atheist, so what do I know).
Do I think the academics are better in private schools? Absolutely. But in the public schools, assuming the education will get them prepped for whatever they choose to do (and like was said, education starts in the home) I would say send them there because in the public schools I got to learn about things they can't teach in the class room, got to interact with a very diverse group of individuals. Besides, with the money you save not going to private schools, you could enrich their lives even more by taking vacations all over the world!
My $0.02.
I agree with you...
it would be hypocritical to not support your schools church monetarily, not to attend church, not to want your children to be indoctrinated and yes this would cause problems for your daughters.
You are correct, you do not belong there if you do not believe in the Catholic religion.
Perhaps there are other private non religious schools if money is not an issue.
If the public schools are good enough for your standards try there first,
most especially if you are planning on being active parents in your daughters school life,
public schools need parents like you!
I have a little experience with sending kids to a school where we were not part of the religion. My children went to a Jewish pre-K/K and loved it. We are non-religious so weren't sure if it would confuse them being exposed to religious terms/traditions. But they seemed to enjoy learning about the culture. I think as long as you have dialogue with your kids about various belief systems, then, having them exposed to a particular one in school doesn't preclude them learning about the others.
Rule of thumb: If your local public school has metal detectors and full time cops, it may be worth investigating private options.
I encourage you to get involved and be the change you want to see. A rising tide lifts all boats and it takes a village. Our kids have good friends and we've met a bunch of people that are now our friends. We also have a family friend who sent their oldest daughter to catholic school and she went off to a mediocre college and dropped out. Spent all that money and got little return on the investment. They sent their younger daughter to public school and like our kids, she's thriving.
Good luck and no matter what, its YOUR investment in your kids. PM me if you want to know more.
Peace!
Libtardaplorable©. And proud of it.
Brilliantati©
What a great idea! So much can be learned with hands on experience. My kids know more about some of the States in America, then provinces in Canada...simply because we vacation in the States and drive through many of them.
Go with your gut. I teach in the Canadian Public System and love it! When I worked in a more exclusive charter school, I did not love it as much.
There are some great public schools out there, and remember that it is also the community and kids that make them great. The culture of the school is important. It is not all about academics, it is also about helping kids grow into positive citizens. When your kids enter school you, as a parent, have a chance to meet new people and make new friends. If you put your kids into a school where you do not enjoy the culture and feel comfortable with the other parents and enjoy hanging out with them you may not feel comfortable in the halls, at parent-student events, hanging out at the park after school.
I think you've answered your own question regarding which school looks the best (private). I think your biggest hurdle, like you mentioned, is that you and your wife are no longer Catholic, but like what the school you both went to offered. From my own experience in Catholic schools, there were always other kids whose families were not as religious as mine or the core Catholic community, and they seemed to still fit in ok, even though they weren't strictly religious. They still had to go to Religion class, and mass if it was a Catholic holiday, but weren't forced to become Catholic.
The advantage Catholic schools have is that they teach kindness and empathy, because that was what Jesus was about. Something that is definitely not taught in public schools.
This.
When I was in High School... public High School... here is what I learned about the Catholic Schools in the area I grew up in (Glendale/Eagle Rock):
The girls were pretty loose and the guys were good fighters. Not all, but, more than the ones in my High School.
The girls also drank way more than they should have... which made them looser and they really wanted out of those uniforms. That's why we would hang out at the burger joint near the Catholic High School... to meet girls.
...
Also... the girls that were folded into my school (which was grades 7-12) in the 8th grade were more on the slutty side. And the guys coming in (that we didn't know from Little League or pick-up games of football at the park) wanted to fight everyone. Again, not all... but, it seemed like a lot.
Maybe it had something to do with the uniforms or the mean Nuns or the 'Catholic Guilt' or the strict discipline or the 1970s... but, that was my experience.
Hail, Hail!!!
Totally agree with this. My parents sent me to a pretty good, and damn expensive private highschool. When I went to university I don't think it really gave me that much of an advantage over my friends who went to public schools. Sure I got good grades in high school and did well, but I think the fact my parents actually gave a crap about my education was a way bigger factor in my acedemic success than the fact that my school was expensive.
Feel free to expand upon that.
I have been in both systems. It's just my opinion.
No matter how good of a parent you are (involved) your child is still going to be influenced by the enviroment around them. So I want to make sure that I am also making not only an education decision formy children but also a enviroment decision as well. There seems to be a more structured enviroment/participation/involved parents (in this area) than in the public school area.
But what I really see is PARENTS seem to form the cliques and their children follow suit. Especially parents of kids who play sports.
In my mind it is a bad example to then not have it be in yours. If your kids are expected to walk the walk shouldn't you and your wife?
I would disagree with that too. I went to catholic schools and none of that was 'taught'. I was taught rules and even possibly intransigence.
My daughter went to a church primary school - not a private one - only because it was the closest to home. Not a catholic one (which I had close to home as well) but to a Church of England one which, contrary to the catholic school, accepted children of all (or none) faith though one had to accept that there would be faith based assemblies (again all faiths - eg talking about Easter, Diwali, etc.) and a few christian celebrations at the church (nativity at Christmas, harvest, etc.). The vicar came in once a week.
Even with what could seem an 'open' view to various faiths, I was called in a couple of times when my daughter 'questioned' things (as one can question when you are 5!). For example she questioned the fact that Jesus was son of god, god as a male, and the 'virgin' Mary (seeing she knew about the facts of life). She wasn't happy when she was told she just had to accept the 'word' as it was and it was not for us mere mortals to question these and she protested.
If I had a non faith based primary school near home, I would have chosen that. Faith schools don't teach openness and acceptance - on the contrary.
One advantage of her going to this school as opposed to driving to get her to a non faith school, is that it IS the neighbourhood school, literally a two minute walk from home (walking slowly), which meant that not only did the kids belong to the school community, it was also their neighbourhood community. Same with the parents (well... more the mothers). A much tighter community spirit that goes beyond the school playground.
As an involved parent in a Catholic school, if you choose that avenue,
you would then need to participate in your religion.
I should say,
if you plan on being an involved parent, wanting the best for your children you would
want to participate, show a good example. Otherwise it would be a contradiction.
religion is all about fighting.
my gf is baptist and went to a catholic school. no biggie on the religion side of it.
In the teachings of Jesus Christ, how can a Catholic school not teach what Jesus was about? Please explain. Any kid going to religious ed. learns that Jesus was a healer, teacher and was kind to all. Otherwise, what kind of Catholic school did you go to?
ETA: After re-reading this, perhaps everyone takes something different with from what they've learned from school. Redrock possibly remembered rules and intransigence, where remember the good things about what was taught.