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Seeing a parent in the hospital

JOEJOEJOEJOEJOEJOE Posts: 10,483
edited February 2011 in All Encompassing Trip
My 84 year old father was coughing up a storm yesterday, so at the advice of his doctor, my mom took him to the ER. His blood oxygen level was down to 50, which is alarmingly low.

They stabilized him and are keeping him for a few days.

On my way over to see him, I was picturing him laying there feeling helpless. He has always hated when people fussed over him. During prior hospital junkets, he would often get misty-eyed, thinking about his mortality, etc. He is a holocaust survivor from eastern Europe, and very rarely shows any emotion. Hence, it is always weird to see him in a vulnerable position.

When I arrived at the hospital, I heard yelling from his room, so I thought it may have been the other patient in his shared room. Turns out that it was dad doing all of the yelling. He was showing signs of sundowners syndrome, which causes disorientation in older folks when they are taken out of there comfort zone. He was shouting for his brother to lock up the factory warehouse where they both worked at like 60 years ago! He kept yelling off and on the entire time I was there.

It may sound weird, but it was more comforting to hear him yell then it would have been to see him look helpless like I expected. I haven't heard him yell like that for over 20 years!
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • RYEzupSFRYEzupSF Posts: 6,003
    I hope your dad is doing okay. Sorry to hear he is in the hospital. ...I know what you mean about the sundowner's syndrome. Back in October my grandmother was in the hospital, and I pretty much lived there for a week. It was so hard to see her miserable and helpless, it was exactly what always terrified her. But come sundown, the old girl would get all kinds of feisty. In a wierd way it was reassuring- she still had fight left in her.

    Sending thoughts to your Pops.
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  • FifthelementFifthelement Posts: 6,958
    So sorry to hear this Joe. Thankfully, so far, I haven't yet had to face this. My dad's been sick and in hospital a few times, but I live in another province so, because it wasn't life or death per se, my parents told me not to come.

    I agree though, seeing your parents in such a vulnerable position is very difficult. Has he improved? Have they got his oxygen levels back to normal yet? Sending good vibes to you and yours.
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  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    JOEJOEJOE wrote:
    My 84 year old father was coughing up a storm yesterday, so at the advice of his doctor, my mom took him to the ER. His blood oxygen level was down to 50, which is alarmingly low.

    They stabilized him and are keeping him for a few days.

    On my way over to see him, I was picturing him laying there feeling helpless. He has always hated when people fussed over him. During prior hospital junkets, he would often get misty-eyed, thinking about his mortality, etc. He is a holocaust survivor from eastern Europe, and very rarely shows any emotion. Hence, it is always weird to see him in a vulnerable position.

    When I arrived at the hospital, I heard yelling from his room, so I thought it may have been the other patient in his shared room. Turns out that it was dad doing all of the yelling. He was showing signs of sundowners syndrome, which causes disorientation in older folks when they are taken out of there comfort zone. He was shouting for his brother to lock up the factory warehouse where they both worked at like 60 years ago! He kept yelling off and on the entire time I was there.

    It may sound weird, but it was more comforting to hear him yell then it would have been to see him look helpless like I expected. I haven't heard him yell like that for over 20 years!
    I understand this.
    Enjoy every moment while you can.
    These memories will stay with you and become even more comforting as the years go by,
    even the tough ones.
    Glad he went to the hospital and they could get him on the road to recovery, bless his heart.
  • Black DiamondBlack Diamond Posts: 25,107
    I really hope all turns out well and he can go back to his comfort zone... Thinking of him and you. Will say a prayer tomorrow.
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  • keeponrockinkeeponrockin Posts: 7,446
    Sorry to hear. Hang in there!
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  • JOEJOEJOEJOEJOEJOE Posts: 10,483
    Thanks for the wishes.
  • CROJAM95CROJAM95 Posts: 9,799
    Hang in there Joe, I went thru this and it's no picnic. Thoughts and prayers to you and your loved ones

    It's good to reach out to others, makes you feel less alone
  • LizardLizard Posts: 12,091
    Been there, done that.

    Stay strong.
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • ClaireackClaireack Posts: 13,561
    Sorry to hear that, thinking of you all.
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  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    Lizard wrote:
    Been there, done that.

    Stay strong.

    me too


    hang in there joe
  • voidofmanvoidofman Posts: 4,009
    I hope it gets better man. My dad was in the hospital at 70 with pneumonia, which turned to emphysema, he has a hard time moving around now obviously but is still in good spirits.
  • JOEJOEJOEJOEJOEJOE Posts: 10,483
    Thanks for the well wishes. They finally got him doped-up enough to sleep, so once he comes to, they are gonna boot him out of the hospital. My mom is gonna make sure he has all of his favorite stuff at home.....CNN on the tv & some chicken soup from Nate & Al's! I usually don't quote trite lines from movies, but in this case, "there's no place like home" has new meaning!
  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    I'm hoping my mom and step dad just so happen to be visiting Yellowstone when the volcano goes off or something. One second happy, the next cremated. No suffering, no having to watch them waste away.
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  • JOEJOEJOEJOEJOEJOE Posts: 10,483
    edited February 2011
    eyedclaar wrote:
    I'm hoping my mom and step dad just so happen to be visiting Yellowstone when the volcano goes off or something. One second happy, the next cremated. No suffering, no having to watch them waste away.

    edited due to my lack of openmindedness!
    Post edited by JOEJOEJOE on
  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    JOEJOEJOE wrote:
    eyedclaar wrote:
    I'm hoping my mom and step dad just so happen to be visiting Yellowstone when the volcano goes off or something. One second happy, the next cremated. No suffering, no having to watch them waste away.

    So lucky that they have such a good son!

    They count their blessings daily. Is it wrong to wish that my parents don't suffer when they die?
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  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Is it wrong to wish that my parents don't suffer when they die?

    NO!


    i've seen it and it is quite possibly the shittiest thing anyone can witness let alone go through

    i'm all for quick, painless deaths
  • JOEJOEJOEJOEJOEJOE Posts: 10,483
    norm wrote:
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Is it wrong to wish that my parents don't suffer when they die?

    NO!


    i've seen it and it is quite possibly the shittiest thing anyone can witness let alone go through

    i'm all for quick, painless deaths

    So am I, as long as they aren't premature!
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    JOEJOEJOE wrote:
    norm wrote:
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Is it wrong to wish that my parents don't suffer when they die?

    NO!


    i've seen it and it is quite possibly the shittiest thing anyone can witness let alone go through

    i'm all for quick, painless deaths

    So am I, as long as they aren't premature!

    true
  • chiquimonkeychiquimonkey Posts: 9,337
    Sorry about your dad Joe, I hope he will be okay. Seeing a parent in the hospital is a hard thing indeed, had my share of it over the past year and a half.
  • JOEJOEJOEJOEJOEJOE Posts: 10,483
    chiquimonkey wrote:
    Sorry about your dad Joe, I hope he will be okay. Seeing a parent in the hospital is a hard thing indeed, had my share of it over the past year and a half.

    Thanks CHQMKY
  • Cliffy6745Cliffy6745 Posts: 33,734
    I hear you man. The first time my old man had cancer I couldn't see him in the hospital, Was way too hard. Walked in the room and right out. We have had conversations about it since but I definitely regret how I was unable to see him.

    And well, found out yesterday he is going to be in the hospital again. Going to be hard but I am going to make a better effort to be there. This time might be a little more serious, if that is possible.

    Good luck to you and your dad. I definitely know where you are coming from.
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