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catholic wedding question

The JugglerThe Juggler Posts: 48,613
edited February 2011 in All Encompassing Trip
(first--please spare me your thoughts on the catholic church. thank you....:mrgreen: )

is there a definitive answer as to if a non catholic person is allowed to participate in the ceremony? ie: be a gift bearer or do one of the readings? do some churches treat this differently than others?

been hearing conflicting reports and was wondering if anyone else here had a catholic wedding that can help a juggler out....seems like such a small detail to a wedding but is becoming quite headache. thank in advance.
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  • iamicaiamica Posts: 2,628
    I'm not Catholic, but I've been to quite a few Catholic weddings, and I'm pretty sure you don't have to be Catholic to participate. My roommate from college had a Catholic wedding, and several of her friends were in the wedding party, Catholic or not. I was a flower girl in my aunt's Catholic wedding.
    You might want to check with the church where it's being held just to make sure, but I don't think they're too strict about it.
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  • The JugglerThe Juggler Posts: 48,613
    iamica wrote:
    I'm not Catholic, but I've been to quite a few Catholic weddings, and I'm pretty sure you don't have to be Catholic to participate. My roommate from college had a Catholic wedding, and several of her friends were in the wedding party, Catholic or not. I was a flower girl in my aunt's Catholic wedding.
    You might want to check with the church where it's being held just to make sure, but I don't think they're too strict about it.

    thanks. yeah for some reason the church won't answer the phone today. gotta call tomorrow. i think my fiance's family is just assuming everyone has to be catholic. but i've heard a bunch of examples of what you described from lots of people today...
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  • shittashitta Posts: 3
    I was best man at a mates italian catholic wedding and im not catholic.
  • Break The SkyBreak The Sky Posts: 1,276
    I am (used to be) Catholic and I can tell you that people of all creeds and religions are more than welcome to participate in Catholic weddings. The only thing non-Catholics are not allowed to do at Catholic weddings is take communion. Other than that, enjoy the 4 1/2 hours of scripture and boredom!
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  • gfnk001gfnk001 Posts: 652
    A lot depends on the actual parish priest. Some priests will allow things that others will not. I know of a couple in my hometown who wanted a catholic mass for their wedding, however; only one of them is catholic. The priest said "No", but another priest in another town said "Yes". So when in doubt, ask the church where the ceremony is to take place.
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  • Break The SkyBreak The Sky Posts: 1,276
    gfnk001 wrote:
    A lot depends on the actual parish priest. Some priests will allow things that others will not. I know of a couple in my hometown who wanted a catholic mass for their wedding, however; only one of them is catholic. The priest said "No", but another priest in another town said "Yes". So when in doubt, ask the church where the ceremony is to take place.

    As far as I understand, you must be Catholic to have a Catholic wedding, since both the bride and the groom take communion as part of the ceremony. As for anyone attending, though, if you can make it into the church without catching on fire, you're usually welcome to stay.
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  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    Have you asked black diamond yet....
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  • KM43590KM43590 Posts: 298
    I was the best man for my brother in his catholic wedding and a member of the wedding party for my sisters catholic wedding. They're both catholic and I'm the only atheist in the family and I was able to participate! I even stood up and went for some Eucharist. They were long ceremonies and I needed a snack!

    The strange thing is, they're both catholic, married and happy, but since I renounced religion, I'm alone and miserable. I should probably look into that. :shock: :roll:
  • jshinjshin Posts: 1,759
    Besides my wife everyone in our catholic wedding party was not catholic...Including me.. :twisted:
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  • Who PrincessWho Princess Posts: 7,305
    Big Drop wrote:
    gfnk001 wrote:
    A lot depends on the actual parish priest. Some priests will allow things that others will not. I know of a couple in my hometown who wanted a catholic mass for their wedding, however; only one of them is catholic. The priest said "No", but another priest in another town said "Yes". So when in doubt, ask the church where the ceremony is to take place.

    As far as I understand, you must be Catholic to have a Catholic wedding, since both the bride and the groom take communion as part of the ceremony. As for anyone attending, though, if you can make it into the church without catching on fire, you're usually welcome to stay.
    As a recovering Catholic who married a non-Catholic, here's my 2 cents. There is only communion if the wedding is at a Mass. The non-Catholic party may not receive communion without special permission from the local bishop and probably isn't likely. Otherwise, it doesn't matter if different people in the wedding party are non-Catholic and that was true when my parents got married in 1950. Your best source for all this is going to be the priest who marries you.

    I'm guessing your fiance's family are not exactly active Catholics. ;)
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  • Johnny AbruzzoJohnny Abruzzo Posts: 11,408
    The church isn't going to check on whether everyone in the ceremony is Catholic, so no biggie. There's no such rule. However, just tell the non-Catholics not to try to get Communion or make a sign of the cross. It never works out. ;)
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  • Black DiamondBlack Diamond Posts: 25,107
    81 wrote:
    Have you asked black diamond yet....
    :lol:
    I actually have been best man at two catholic weddings...
    Both times i was offered communion... I politely declined :mrgreen:
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  • JeanwahJeanwah Posts: 6,363
    gfnk001 wrote:
    A lot depends on the actual parish priest. Some priests will allow things that others will not. I know of a couple in my hometown who wanted a catholic mass for their wedding, however; only one of them is catholic. The priest said "No", but another priest in another town said "Yes". So when in doubt, ask the church where the ceremony is to take place.

    This is true. It all depends on the parish and the pastor of the church. Some are ultra-conservative, and some are more lenient with tradition.
  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Black Diamond wrote:
    81 wrote:
    Have you asked black diamond yet....
    :lol:
    I actually have been best man at two catholic weddings...
    Both times i was offered communion... I politely declined :mrgreen:

    So, what is communion? I guess, you can defer the question to the nearest Catholic if you like...
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  • EmBleveEmBleve Posts: 3,019
    The Juggler wrote:
    (first--please spare me your thoughts on the catholic church. thank you....:mrgreen: )

    is there a definitive answer as to if a non catholic person is allowed to participate in the ceremony? ie: be a gift bearer or do one of the readings? do some churches treat this differently than others?

    been hearing conflicting reports and was wondering if anyone else here had a catholic wedding that can help a juggler out....seems like such a small detail to a wedding but is becoming quite headache. thank in advance.

    I was raised Catholic and was married in a catholic church in the 90s (ended in divorce, but I digress). My ex-husband was not Catholic, nor was anyone in either side of the wedding party. We only had a marriage ceremony (no mass), but I don't remember the issue being a big deal. As others have said, I think it depends on the individual parish/priest.
  • Black DiamondBlack Diamond Posts: 25,107
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Black Diamond wrote:
    81 wrote:
    Have you asked black diamond yet....
    :lol:
    I actually have been best man at two catholic weddings...
    Both times i was offered communion... I politely declined :mrgreen:

    So, what is communion? I guess, you can defer the question to the nearest Catholic if you like...
    It's the ceremony where you consume body and of blood of Christ (wine and wafer)
    If I am wrong please correct me...
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  • FrannyFranny Posts: 2,054
    The Juggler wrote:
    (first--please spare me your thoughts on the catholic church. thank you....:mrgreen: )

    is there a definitive answer as to if a non catholic person is allowed to participate in the ceremony? ie: be a gift bearer or do one of the readings? do some churches treat this differently than others?

    been hearing conflicting reports and was wondering if anyone else here had a catholic wedding that can help a juggler out....seems like such a small detail to a wedding but is becoming quite headache. thank in advance.


    Don't see it as being a problem.......my sons godfather is not catholic and they had no prob with that.
  • The JugglerThe Juggler Posts: 48,613
    problem solved. talked to church and confirmed the gift bearers dont have to be catholic. readers do. depends on the church.

    and i didn't expect them to ask for baptism papers or anything. but my fiance's family was intent on going by the book and didnt want certain people handling these things because they were not catholic. turns out their book was incorrect. ;)

    i thank all of thee for your input. it has been much appreciated.

    alright, let's wrap this thread up. kat, go ahead and play us out. no more posting.......... :mrgreen:
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