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Funniest in concert Quotes

bigmattk11bigmattk11 Posts: 284
edited February 2011 in The Porch
We all know Eddie loves to say something funny,obscure,political, anything that sticks in your mind. What was your favorite moment or moments that Ed said something or sang something different worth remembering?

Cleveland 06 during Comatose " Burning all the pistons, fuck the Detroit Pistons...sorry...sorry Detroit."

Same show during Do the Evolution "Those ignorant Indians...they're a great team huh?"

Columbus 10 "Don't be an asshole. Also, don't Fuckin' Twitter, hate that shit."

Cleveland 10 "Don't let that JZ guy steal your super star." Talking about Lebron James :twisted:
I got some if you need it.

5/20/06 Cleveland 6/24/06 Cincinnati 5/6/10 Columbus 5/7/10 Indiana 5/9/10 Cleveland 5/10/10 Buffalo 6/26/11 EV Detroit 9/3-4/11 Alpine Valley WI 9/11-12/11 Toronto 2011 Atlanta 2012
Post edited by Unknown User on
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    RedMosquito22RedMosquito22 Posts: 8,158
    Spectrum 10/31. The whole Mike and Eddie's mom conversation. Maybe someone here has it transcribed.
    Member 164xxx

    8/15/92, 9/28/96, 8/28/98, 8/29/98, 9/18/98, 8/3/00, 8/9/00, 8/10/00, 8/23/00, 8/25/00, 9/1/00, 9/2/00, 4/28/03, 6/18/03, 7/5/03, 7/6/03, 10/1/04, 10/3/05, 6/19/08, 10/27/09, 10/31/09, 5/21/10, 9/3/11, 9/4/11, 10/21/13

    More to Come....
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    samjamsamjam New York Posts: 9,283
    edited February 2011
    Always laugh when I hear Ed say "F*ck this f*ckin chocolate factory!" during Last Exit on the Hershey '03 boot :lol:

    And there's always the 'more than one way to skin a cat' speech before Slow Lukin at MSG 2 '10 :)
    Post edited by samjam on
    "Sometimes you find yourself having to put all your faith in no faith."
    ~not a dude~
    2010: MSGx2
    2012: Made In America
    2013: Pittsburgh, Brooklynx2, Hartford, Baltimore
    2014: Leeds, Milton Keynes, Detroit
    2015: Global Citizen Festival
    2016: Phillyx2, MSGx2, Fenwayx2
    2018: Barcelona, Wrigleyx2
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    capthowdy1027capthowdy1027 Posts: 3,270
    Cincinnati '06 - "You said play The Kids Are Alrighty? I did, at 7:30. Asshole."
    * Cincinnati, OH 8.20.2000 *
    * Cincinnati, OH 6.24.2006 *
    * Columbus, OH 5.6.2010 * Noblesville, IN 5.7.2010 *
    * East Troy, MI 9.4.2011 * East Troy, MI 9.5.2011 *
    * Pittsburgh, PA 10.11.2013 *
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    jwagnerjwagner Posts: 435
    The times Eddie mentions how McCready, when he was a kid, used to think Kiss's "Rock and Roll All Nite" went:
    "I wanna rock and roll all night...and PART of every day."

    It clearly cracks Eddie up, and me too, that's some funny stuff.
    "I know I was born and I know that I'll die...the in between is mine"
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    juan lesterjuan lester Posts: 321
    new york 7-9-03 - "this one says, 'play leash, you pussies.' you know, there's fucking children here, you know. you fucking cocksucking mutherfucker asshole prick"
    uke can save the world
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    Bushleaguer10Bushleaguer10 Posts: 24
    To paraphrase from my personal favorite at Hershey....

    "Some little cokette up her flashing me...showing me absolutley nothing. Hey look guys, look at my mosquito bites from the summer. Its not that im not into that stuff, Im just into much harder core stuff like shitting on little girls heads."
    "Fuck this Fuckin' Chocolate Factory!"

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    Paul AndrewsPaul Andrews Posts: 2,489
    Who the fuck is out there skinning cats???? MSG2 21 May 2010

    http://pearljamalive.com/component/hwdv ... 5212010-hd :lol:
    http://longroad.com.au
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    dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam NINUNINOPRO Posts: 139,158
    Paul Andrews wrote:
    Who the fuck is out there skinning cats???? MSG2 21 May 2010

    http://pearljamalive.com/component/hwdv ... 5212010-hd :lol:
    this is so funny :lol:
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
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    Gibson72Gibson72 Posts: 1,245
    This post is great... HUGE Laughs from me... :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
    Gibson1972
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    we belong togetherwe belong together Posts: 111
    ...one two three four one two three...................
    11.18.1997 - OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA
    06.06.2003 - LAS VEGAS, NEVADA
    10.22.2003 - SEATTLE, WASHINGTON
    10.28.2003 - SANTA BARBARA, CALIFORNIA
    09.28.2004 - BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS
    09.29.2004 - BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS
    11.25.2005 - BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA
    11.26.2005 - BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA
    07.07.2006 - SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA
    10.01.2009 - UNIVERSAL CITY, CALIFORNIA
    10.30.2013 - CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA
    10.01.2014 - CINCINNATI, OHIO
    09.15.2023 - FORT WORTH, TEXAS
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    Cheo RamirezCheo Ramirez Posts: 676
    washington 2006 or 2005, simulating a dick cheney fucking up request by cell phone....

    DCh: "Hi Im Dick Cheney."
    EV:" Hi.......dick"
    Santiago I 2005
    Santiago II 2005
    West Palm Beach 2008
    Alpine Valley PJ20 I 2011
    Alpine Valley PJ 20 II 2011
    Santiago 2011
    Lima 2011
    Buenos Aires 2013
    Brooklyn I 2013
    Brooklyn II 2013
    Santiago 2015
    Bogota 2015
    Ft Lauderdale 2016
    Miami 2016
    Rio de Janeiro 2018
    Boston 2 2018
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    mydogmookieblaylockmydogmookieblaylock Posts: 2,996
    Bushleaguer10 wrote:
    To paraphrase from my personal favorite at Hershey....

    "Some little cokette up her flashing me...showing me absolutley nothing. Hey look guys, look at my mosquito bites from the summer. Its not that im not into that stuff, Im just into much harder core stuff like shitting on little girls heads."
    i probably would have pissed myself laughing if i had heard that one
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    dccrash23dccrash23 Posts: 160
    Calgary 09 Virgin Fest,

    Eddie: They told us there was a little festival we could play, a festival full of virgins and not a jonas brother in sight!

    Eddie: I was drinking wine and that ran out, now I'm drinking beer, can anyone get me some Canadian Beer goddamn it!
    Calgary 08/08/09
    Calgary 21/09/11
    Edmonton 23/09/11
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    bigmattk11bigmattk11 Posts: 284
    capthowdy1027 wrote:
    Cincinnati '06 - "You said play The Kids Are Alrighty? I did, at 7:30. Asshole."


    haha that's right! I forgot about that one! So funny.
    I got some if you need it.

    5/20/06 Cleveland 6/24/06 Cincinnati 5/6/10 Columbus 5/7/10 Indiana 5/9/10 Cleveland 5/10/10 Buffalo 6/26/11 EV Detroit 9/3-4/11 Alpine Valley WI 9/11-12/11 Toronto 2011 Atlanta 2012
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    red mosred mos Posts: 4,953
    edited February 2011
    In Dallas 2003, as a segue into "I got Shit:

    Ed announced there was a folder under someone's seat with the inscription WMD written on it. Of course, everyone started looking for it. He said, " if we had the folder under our seat we could come back at encore, and hang with the band". He said, " we were gonna go tear Dallas up." He then said, "to those that don't have it, "well, you've got shit, and can relate to this next song". :mrgreen::mrgreen::lol:

    There was no folder underneath the chairs; it was all a tongue in cheek joke. :D
    Post edited by red mos on
    PJ: 10/14/00 06/09/03 10/4/09 11/15/13 11/16/13 10/08/14
    EV Solo: 7/11/11 11/12/12 11/13/12
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    nyypj10nyypj10 Posts: 33
    Indio, CA 11/5/93 after a hysterical Improv called "Insane" or "Fuck Me In The Brain" when people started throwing shoes/sneakers on the stage: "Me and Jeff, are gonna go to the front gate, and when you guys exit, we're gonna beat the shit out of every barefoot person here." Or... "Somebody throw a gun up here so I can shoot you all." Or... Before Deep: "You guys want a message? You want a message? Kill your local rapist. But torture him first. Then serve him to one of your enemies for dinner. I'll cook." So many other great lines from that show like, "your dirt is my fucking food" and, "more shoes, shoe the shoeless, more shoes shoes for my friends." and, "spit, spit, spit, caress me with your spit, oh that was a good one, that was a fuckin loogie." I've had a copy of this show called "Dedicated To The Motherfuckers" since like 1994 or so although I haven't listened to it in years but to this day it's one of my favorite old time shows. Simply amazing!!!!!
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    helplessdancerhelplessdancer Posts: 5,262
    1998 tour ed showed off the evolution of the skateboard ,which made for a funny moment of, oh, wow!

    it's evolution baby
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    shine79shine79 Posts: 49
    I still like the carrot one..
    "I've got some carrots for you all, if you eat them now you'll be able to see Neil a little better"
    -London '93
    06.19.98 Vancouver | 11.06.00 Seattle | 05.30.03 Vancouver | 09.25.09 Vancouver
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    BH198990BH198990 Posts: 174
    Detroit 03, night 1..2 of em!
    First one was a long, but funny, rant about advertising signs hanging over and around the stage, that eventually led to Ed connecting Big Boy restaurants, dildos, and Sheryl Crow.
    2nd encore he leads into Soon Forget by saying that tho he wasn't judging all the attendees up on the hill (outdoor venue) but that all the pot smokers on the hill should really get a ukelele...

    great stuff, cheers
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    Paul AndrewsPaul Andrews Posts: 2,489
    http://pj20.net/12yearoldkid

    He's 12 and he's right up front, watchout there are a lot of young people and women, and I'm sure he's appreciating that there's a lot of women... (at 3:45) 8-)
    http://longroad.com.au
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    unlost dogsunlost dogs Greater Boston Posts: 12,553
    Boston 05/17/10:

    "It's nice to have a job where you can drink."
    15 years of sharks 06/30/08 (MA), 05/17/10 (Boston), 09/03/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/04/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/30/12 (Missoula), 07/19/13 (Wrigley), 10/15/13 (Worcester), 10/16/13 (Worcester), 10/25/13 (Hartford), 12/4/13 (Vancouver), 12/6/13 (Seattle), 6/26/14 (Berlin), 6/28/14 (Stockholm), 10/16/14 (Detroit)
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    jimbojones1138jimbojones1138 Posts: 3,640
    we belong together wrote:
    ...one two three four one two three...................


    isnt that studio brain of j?


    one of my personal favorites:

    "i should be able to show my penis!"

    obviously referring to iggy who opened for pj in detroit back in 98
    it's largely due to eddie that i liked to jump off of things as a child...
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    jbohlen10jbohlen10 Posts: 11
    I can't remember it exactly....some show out west in the nineties. Ed starts talking about Taco Bell being open late and how he would be nice to the guy working there at 2am. Then adds, "I would be the best late night worker taco bell ever had"
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    Staggering GeniusStaggering Genius Posts: 169
    I know I am going to butcher this, so apologies. Someone please correct me.
    I can't remember the show, maybe school something? But Ed says something like "It says 'Fuck me, Eddie.' I said I wasn't going to do that."

    And from the show that I saw in London '10, before Of the Earth:

    "And if it can make it here then we'll put in on the next record, but you tell us. (Pause) It's like fucking American Idol or some shit like that. (Pause) Sorry, I said 'American Idol' and I got all creepy."

    And I don't know why, but I found this very funny:

    "You know I had a dream the other night that I was supposed to say something up here on stage and what it was was that, Winston Churchill once said... something very important I'm sure but it's just now is not that time for that."
    Well, fuckers, he still stands.
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    TBibbyTBibby Posts: 393
    Antwerp '06 - First concert on Belgian soil

    "You know ,I am fluent in French, and speak almost as good Dutch but since you guys can't decide what to speak yourselves, I think I'm gonna stick to English if you don't mind."

    "The Shirt says: We played Belgium for 4 hours.... But I think, wiht all the times we couldn't make it in the past, we actually owe you 6" ***Crowd goes berserk***

    Werchter '07

    "You know, we would invite you all to the US with us, but we gotta go take out the trash first... redecorate the white house..."

    Or something in the likes of that...
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    R-Dub81R-Dub81 Posts: 374
    Mansfield 3 right before Jeremy
    "this guy just gave me the ole' one more....one more back at ya" (flips off stage manager)

    Hartford 2006
    "The real title is I Got Shit, Could be called I Got Shit Tickets"

    NYC 2008
    "You can always pick out the Hawaiian in New York, they walk around like this" (looks up)
    "Some people think it makes a difference...I think it's the difference that makes it" 

    340xxx
    03 - Mansfield 3
    04 - Asheville
    06 - Hartford
    08 - Columbia, MSG 1, MSG 2, Hartford
    10 - Kansas City, Hartford
    12 - Atlanta
    13 - Charlotte
    16 - Columbia
    18 - Boston 2
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    PillowPantsPillowPants Posts: 4,873
    i'm probably not even close but something like these boston area gems

    -we wouldn't let them sing this one in atlanta..

    -good charlotte sucks... celine swallows

    -hey lou... can i borrow that hat real quick

    -wed like to thank you for coming to participate in the experiment

    -anyone throws another fucking quarter.......

    -everybody sit down, it's been a long time and it might be kind of cool to play to a seated crowd
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    mattcozmattcoz Chicago Posts: 2,165
    "Speaking as a guy who's never worn an orange styrofoam piece of cheese on his head." - Alpine Valley, 6-27-98

    A fitting quote for this week.
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    camaroscamaros Posts: 1,003
    R-Dub81 wrote:
    NYC 2008
    "You can always pick out the Hawaiian in New York, they walk around like this" (looks up)

    i totally remember that... fuckin funny
    i like sound...
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    pureocpureoc Posts: 2,383
    The American Idol, blow job, butt fuck rant from Alpine Valley 03. Classic!!
    Alpine Valley 6/26/98, Alpine Valley 10/8/00, Champaign 4/23/03, Chicago 6/18/03, Alpine Valley 6/21/03, Grand Rapids 10/3/04
    Chicago 5/16/06, Chicago 5/17/06, Grand Rapids 5/19/06
    Milwaukee 6/29/06, Milwaukee 6/30/06, Lollapalooza 8/5/07
    Eddie Solo Milwaukee 8/19/08, Toronto 8/21/09, Chicago 8/23/09
    Chicago 8/24/09, Indianapolis 5/7/10, Ed Chicago 6/29/11, Alpine Valley 9/3/11 and 9/4/11, Wrigley 7/19/13, Moline 10/18/14, Milwaukee 10/20/14
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