Getting Old is Difficult
MrMerkinball
Posts: 1,978
Just need to type out some shit. It helps me. Thanks for listening
So I am 36 years old and fortunate enough to have 3 out of 4 Grandparents still alive. However, in the last 6-7 months all 3 have deteriorated rapidly.
My Grandma (mom's side) has recently had dimensia set in, and her short term memory is gone. She gets me confused for her son (she never had a son) and she has no clue what she had for lunch (as an example). She also needs a walker to get around.
My Grandfather (mom's side) had a stroke last week and he is now in a hospital learning how to walk again. He will be there for a while. This has left my grandmother alone and confused in her apartment.
We now have to take away a lot of their freedom's (living on their own, driving etc) as a result and we have to have their living conditions professionally assessed and look at all options (live in, or a "home").
My mom still works full time but spends every free hour trying to help them through this. She has a sister who is still working, but she lives in South Carolina, and we are up here in Toronto.
My Grandparents have become quite bitter at my mom and me because we have had to force them to take their pills, see the doctor, clean their apartment etc. Also, in light of the most recent event, We have to take away their drivers license (the Government doesn't have a mandatory re-test) and we probably have to get them full time care.
So long story short - my Grandparents are failing, they are mad (like really mad) at us for trying to take care of them and my poor mother is at her whits end trying to keep it all together.
On top of this, my Dad's Dad is now 92 and on Dialisis 3 times a week. He has become bitter and constantly yells at my dad (who is the only one of 4 siblings, who takes care of him).
Bottom Line - Getting old sucks and taking care of elderly parents is also very difficult.
Enjoy your youth
Feel a little better now. Thanks
So I am 36 years old and fortunate enough to have 3 out of 4 Grandparents still alive. However, in the last 6-7 months all 3 have deteriorated rapidly.
My Grandma (mom's side) has recently had dimensia set in, and her short term memory is gone. She gets me confused for her son (she never had a son) and she has no clue what she had for lunch (as an example). She also needs a walker to get around.
My Grandfather (mom's side) had a stroke last week and he is now in a hospital learning how to walk again. He will be there for a while. This has left my grandmother alone and confused in her apartment.
We now have to take away a lot of their freedom's (living on their own, driving etc) as a result and we have to have their living conditions professionally assessed and look at all options (live in, or a "home").
My mom still works full time but spends every free hour trying to help them through this. She has a sister who is still working, but she lives in South Carolina, and we are up here in Toronto.
My Grandparents have become quite bitter at my mom and me because we have had to force them to take their pills, see the doctor, clean their apartment etc. Also, in light of the most recent event, We have to take away their drivers license (the Government doesn't have a mandatory re-test) and we probably have to get them full time care.
So long story short - my Grandparents are failing, they are mad (like really mad) at us for trying to take care of them and my poor mother is at her whits end trying to keep it all together.
On top of this, my Dad's Dad is now 92 and on Dialisis 3 times a week. He has become bitter and constantly yells at my dad (who is the only one of 4 siblings, who takes care of him).
Bottom Line - Getting old sucks and taking care of elderly parents is also very difficult.
Enjoy your youth
Feel a little better now. Thanks
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Comments
My family is in a similar situation but only with one grandparent, my grandmother. She had a bunch of TIA's (mini strokes) about a year and a half ago. Before that she was completely healthy and living on her own. She now can hardly walk, she uses a walker, she's getting forgetfull and she still lives by herself. My mom goes there everyday and cleans, cooks for her and pays her bills. We had x-mas dinner there and my grandma turned the stove up while the turkey was cooking and my cousin walked into her appartment and it was full of smoke. She yelled and my grandma said "What smoke?". She really needs to be in a nursing home but just before my grandpa died he asked my mom to alway's take care of her mother so knowing my mom, she'll never allow it.
Getting old sucks. It's so hard watching a family member who was once full of life, now weak and not able to take care of themselves.
God, reading this reminds me of me! And when I say 'me', I mean your grandparents' situation. For the past 11 months I've been recovering from an accident, and yes, I feel OLD. I'm relearning how to walk, I cannot drive and both my arms now have issues.
And I know I have a perspective on this unlike a lot of people, but it's human nature to feel this way. Try to look look on the bright side: you're alive, young, probably healthy and have a lot to be grateful for. And so do your grandparents. They've lived long, rich lives. Teach them how wonderful it's been, and that accepting help now is giving back for everything they've done for your parents and you. It's an act of love, and yes, getting sick sucks,... but it's life. I'm more respectful of what we have while we have it. Good luck to your family.
be glad you have parents and grandparents.
I am very blessed in that my parents are both still with us. I lost the only grandparent I ever knew back in 2002. But she lived a very full life and was taken quickly. She was 93, suffered a stroke and passed the next day.
My parents are relatively healthy too, and I know how lucky I am. My mom will be 80 in 2 weeks. God bless her.
I wish all of you the best. Feel free to talk it out your frustration here.
I'm sorry to hear about this man, it never is easy. My grandmother is in her early 70's, and hasn't really developed anything severe...but she has pretty bad arthritis and has for 25+ years. Sometimes it causes her to be in enormous amounts of pain and so swollen that she doesn't want to walk or move around. My mom dedicates a lot of her time to helping her.
I'm sorry that they're a little stubborn on the assistance, but I think we all know to some point how much pride some old folks have.
Best of luck man, and just know that the effort you're giving will be appreciated in the long run. Everyone needs love ones sooner or later.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Look at the people you love in a positive way.
Not what they were but what they are now, all they have to share.
A lifetime of experience, a lifetime of love, sense of humor, having the wisdom that comes with age.
And damn those laugh wrinkles are awesome, aren't they?
And the fabulous stories the elderly have to share.
Family stories of your ancestry....take notes.
I think there can be a disconnect for the elderly because they may feel unwanted,
out of it, etc. This can bring insecurity. Health problems make it tough but they are expected,
by all parties.
Just try to have fun with your seniors, they still want to have fun and feel needed.
All mine are gone now and I'm approaching 55. I figure I got maybe 20 years left if I'm lucky.
Starting to kind of get it all.
You have Pearl Jam to help keep you Young.
I love you Nana.