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Women.. question for ya.

LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
edited 2011 09 in All Encompassing Trip
Thanks for the input!


Probably should let this thread die now..
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • ClaireackClaireack Posts: 13,561
    She sounds like she's feeling a little insecure. Give her plenty of reassurance, she was that size when you met her, so you must be attracted to her whatever size she is.
    <a href="http://s952.photobucket.com/albums/ae8/catkinson_2009/?action=view&current=domo.jpg&quot; target="_blank"><img src="http://i952.photobucket.com/albums/ae8/catkinson_2009/domo.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    Claireack wrote:
    She sounds like she's feeling a little insecure. Give her plenty of reassurance, she was that size when you met her, so you must be attracted to her whatever size she is.
    Yep. I think it's definitely time for more physical compliments. I like this girl a lot. I don't want to rush her into something she's not comfortable with. I've been single a long time. I'm in no hurry to get laid. I just want her to feel comfortable.

    It almost comes to a point where I don't want her to think I'm not attracted to her because I haven't made a move.. She's obviously not a slut, so I guess I have that going for me. lol.
  • JeanwahJeanwah Posts: 6,363
    I'd say just be patient and perhaps continue to emphasize that you like her for who she is and that's all. It may make her more confident.
    I'm in a situation similar to hers (I was fit, but I've had some surgeries, recovering and now gaining weight). I know that any mention of body image would make me unhappy, so focus on not mentioning anything that could be hurtful.
  • HesCalledDyerHesCalledDyer Maryland Posts: 16,456
    Chicks are weird, dude. There could be a million different reasons. That could be one. She also might be a very family oriented person, a slow mover, etc. I'd say, mainly, she probably doesn't have much self confidence right now because of the weight gain she's endured. You just need to re-assure her why you are with her - but don't tell her when she's ranting on about not eating and such. Just random times give her some compliments, and let her know you're always happy to be around her. Be supportive of her efforts to lose weight, but don't make it sound like you're not attracted to her. (Tricky, I know, cuz girls ALWAYS hear things how they want to hear them, ie. negatively.) If she doesn't come around to an intimate setting soon enough, it might be a subject you want to bring to the table and ask her why. Followed by more re-assurance, of course.
    Star Lake 00 / Pittsburgh 03 / State College 03 / Bristow 03 / Cleveland 06 / Camden II 06 / DC 08 / Pittsburgh 13 / Baltimore 13 / Charlottesville 13 / Cincinnati 14 / St. Paul 14 / Hampton 16 / Wrigley I 16 / Wrigley II 16 / Baltimore 20 / Camden 22 / Baltimore 24
  • 8181 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
    Virgin?

    Lingering issues from a bad past?

    Doesnt like it?

    Herpes?
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • stargirl69stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    reassurance,cuddles,compliments,,time alone,kisses should do it ... no diet/fitness talk because it may not be about her weight gain at all

    but as clareack said ... she was that size when you met and you were attracted to her so nothing should be different ... reassure her of that ... you sound like a great guy :thumbup: :clap: who wants this to work ... any girl interested will recognise that

    Good luck :D
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
  • unlost dogsunlost dogs Greater Boston Posts: 12,553
    stargirl69 wrote:
    reassurance,cuddles,compliments,,time alone,kisses should do it ... no diet/fitness talk because it may not be about her weight gain at all

    but as clareack said ... she was that size when you met and you were attracted to her so nothing should be different ... reassure her of that ... you sound like a great guy :thumbup: :clap: who wants this to work ... any girl interested will recognise that

    Good luck :D

    +1... great advice!
    15 years of sharks 06/30/08 (MA), 05/17/10 (Boston), 09/03/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/04/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/30/12 (Missoula), 07/19/13 (Wrigley), 10/15/13 (Worcester), 10/16/13 (Worcester), 10/25/13 (Hartford), 12/4/13 (Vancouver), 12/6/13 (Seattle), 6/26/14 (Berlin), 6/28/14 (Stockholm), 10/16/14 (Detroit)
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    unlost dogs wrote:
    stargirl69 wrote:
    reassurance,cuddles,compliments,,time alone,kisses should do it ... no diet/fitness talk because it may not be about her weight gain at all

    but as clareack said ... she was that size when you met and you were attracted to her so nothing should be different ... reassure her of that ... you sound like a great guy :thumbup: :clap: who wants this to work ... any girl interested will recognise that

    Good luck :D

    +1... great advice!
    The time alone part is my challenge here though..
  • Hugh Freaking DillonHugh Freaking Dillon Posts: 14,010
    :lol:
    81 wrote:
    Virgin?

    Lingering issues from a bad past?

    Doesnt like it?

    Herpes?
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • myramyra Posts: 1,257
    Paul David wrote:
    :lol:
    81 wrote:
    Virgin?

    Lingering issues from a bad past?

    Doesnt like it?

    Herpes?

    Actually, there might be some truth to that.
    I wouldn't think that weight gain alone would have an effect on intimacy or the will to get intimate.
    It sounds more to me like a self-confidence issue. Maybe she's still unsure or feels that she doesn't know you well enough and therefore seeks advice from people she trusts.
  • iluvcatsiluvcats Posts: 5,153
    I think she is waiting for your honeymoon :)

    have you picked out the ring yet?
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    iluvcats wrote:
    I think she is waiting for your honeymoon :)

    have you picked out the ring yet?
    lol. I hope not..

    She's kind of a nerd, but I like that about her. She's also a little awkward, even more so than me and I can be pretty awkward.. I guess it's just a matter of time. Who knows. I like her a lot and don't want to force anything that seems out of pace right now with the situation. I'll just keep trying to get her alone and keep giving her the googley eyes until she bites. lol.
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    iluvcats wrote:
    I think she is waiting for your honeymoon :)

    have you picked out the ring yet?
    lol. I hope not..

    She's kind of a nerd, but I like that about her. She's also a little awkward, even more so than me and I can be pretty awkward.. I guess it's just a matter of time. Who knows. I like her a lot and don't want to force anything that seems out of pace right now with the situation. I'll just keep trying to get her alone and keep giving her the googley eyes until she bites. lol.

    could she be a virgin?
  • iluvcatsiluvcats Posts: 5,153
    edited 2011 08
    .
    Post edited by iluvcats on
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    edited 2011 08
    norm wrote:
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    iluvcats wrote:
    I think she is waiting for your honeymoon :)

    have you picked out the ring yet?
    lol. I hope not..

    She's kind of a nerd, but I like that about her. She's also a little awkward, even more so than me and I can be pretty awkward.. I guess it's just a matter of time. Who knows. I like her a lot and don't want to force anything that seems out of pace right now with the situation. I'll just keep trying to get her alone and keep giving her the googley eyes until she bites. lol.

    could she be a virgin?
    I don't know. I'm pretty sure she doesn't date much, but was in a longer relationship a while ago.
    Post edited by LikeAnOcean on
  • comebackgirlcomebackgirl Posts: 9,885
    norm wrote:
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    iluvcats wrote:
    I think she is waiting for your honeymoon :)

    have you picked out the ring yet?
    lol. I hope not..

    She's kind of a nerd, but I like that about her. She's also a little awkward, even more so than me and I can be pretty awkward.. I guess it's just a matter of time. Who knows. I like her a lot and don't want to force anything that seems out of pace right now with the situation. I'll just keep trying to get her alone and keep giving her the googley eyes until she bites. lol.

    could she be a virgin?
    That's what I was thinking...it might not be about her body image at all. Or it might be totally about her body image. I hope I helped to clear things up :lol:
    tumblr_mg4nc33pIX1s1mie8o1_400.gif

    "I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
  • ZiggyStarZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    LikeAnOcean, you pick the most complicated women!
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • pickupyourwillpickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
    LikeAnOcean wrote:

    Would your weight gain have any effect on intimacy? Like, would you avoid any situations, say sex, until you got your weight under control?


    Thoughts?


    yes, I think it would have a big effect on intimacy. I guess you just have to wait for her to get to that comfortable point--or maybe you'll luck out one time and she'll decide to get wasted and not care so much. :D good luck, dude.
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    ZiggyStar wrote:
    LikeAnOcean, you pick the most complicated women!
    I like challenges. 8-)
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    comebackgirl wrote:
    That's what I was thinking...it might not be about her body image at all. Or it might be totally about her body image. I hope I helped to clear things up :lol:

    that's why guys never ask 'what are you thinking?'


    :P


    :lol:
  • Hugh Freaking DillonHugh Freaking Dillon Posts: 14,010
    I know. I was laughing at the herpes part of it.
    myra wrote:
    Paul David wrote:
    :lol:
    81 wrote:
    Virgin?

    Lingering issues from a bad past?

    Doesnt like it?

    Herpes?

    Actually, there might be some truth to that.
    I wouldn't think that weight gain alone would have an effect on intimacy or the will to get intimate.
    It sounds more to me like a self-confidence issue. Maybe she's still unsure or feels that she doesn't know you well enough and therefore seeks advice from people she trusts.
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • ZiggyStarZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    ZiggyStar wrote:
    LikeAnOcean, you pick the most complicated women!
    I like challenges. 8-)

    Get her drunk. If she's still not horny for you after a few drinks, might be time to find a new challenge. 8-)
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • doomponydoompony Wellington, NZ Posts: 4,501
    true. that's how i bagged ziggy.
  • comebackgirlcomebackgirl Posts: 9,885
    norm wrote:
    comebackgirl wrote:
    That's what I was thinking...it might not be about her body image at all. Or it might be totally about her body image. I hope I helped to clear things up :lol:

    that's why guys never ask 'what are you thinking?'


    :P


    :lol:
    Our heads are a complicated maze...once you venture in you are bound to get lost :lol:
    tumblr_mg4nc33pIX1s1mie8o1_400.gif

    "I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
  • myramyra Posts: 1,257
    Paul David wrote:
    I know. I was laughing at the herpes part of it.

    So I thought :lol:
  • 8181 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
    Be careful of tractor
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • ZiggyStarZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    doompony wrote:
    true. that's how i bagged ziggy.

    :lol:
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • guitar59guitar59 Posts: 1,221
    Watch " Bridget Jones's Diary" with her... if a girl with wobbly parts gets Clin Firth and Hugh Grant... well it just doesn't matter what you look like.
  • unlost dogsunlost dogs Greater Boston Posts: 12,553
    guitar59 wrote:
    Watch " Bridget Jones's Diary" with her... if a girl with wobbly parts gets Clin Firth and Hugh Grant... well it just doesn't matter what you look like.

    Mmmmmmm, Colin Firth.
    8-)
    15 years of sharks 06/30/08 (MA), 05/17/10 (Boston), 09/03/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/04/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/30/12 (Missoula), 07/19/13 (Wrigley), 10/15/13 (Worcester), 10/16/13 (Worcester), 10/25/13 (Hartford), 12/4/13 (Vancouver), 12/6/13 (Seattle), 6/26/14 (Berlin), 6/28/14 (Stockholm), 10/16/14 (Detroit)
  • guitar59guitar59 Posts: 1,221
    unlost dogs wrote:
    guitar59 wrote:
    Watch " Bridget Jones's Diary" with her... if a girl with wobbly parts gets Clin Firth and Hugh Grant... well it just doesn't matter what you look like.

    Mmmmmmm, Colin Firth.
    8-)
    Yep...that's what I ment Colin Firth...the mental image made me miss a letter... ;)
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