Hell hath no fury like a woman with a frying pan

mysticweed

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40685243/ns ... eird_news/

my favorite part - "when we arrived, he was unconscious and lying in his own vomit"


HUTCHINSON, Kan. — Hutchinson police say a 71-year-old woman knocked a man who attacked her unconscious with her frying pan.

Police Sgt. John Moore said 25-year-old Kevin Funderburk talked his way into the woman's home on Saturday, claiming he was homeless and had nowhere to go.

Moore said that when he tried to attack the woman, she fought back and "beat him down with a frying pan."

"When we arrived, he was unconscious and lying in his own vomit in the back of the house," Moore told The Hutchinson News. "He was in the hospital in Wichita over the weekend and they stapled his scalp."

Funderburk was jailed on $55,200 bond on suspicion of attempted rape, aggravated battery, criminal restraint and criminal damage to property. He was wearing a neck brace when he made his first appearance Tuesday in court.

81

good for her.

mysticweed

if you use the link you can see she beat the fuck out of him

JonnyPistachio

dang, now all her eggs are gonna be face-shaped.

StillHere

guess he got what he deserved

that'll learn 'em

as i recall my grandmother was quite versed in the various ways a cast iron frying pan could be used as a weapon..heheheeee...poor pop pop

but that's another story :shock:

Yellow Ledbelly

I know a guy who is called Skillet because he was trying to sneak in his own house late one night after his wifey locked him out.
As he climbed through the windown....BAM!!!
Skillet

loadedgun

Yellow Ledbelly wrote:

I know a guy who is called Skillet because he was trying to sneak in his own house late one night after his wifey locked him out.
As he climbed through the windown....BAM!!!
Skillet

This could so be me. Frying pan or not, I am scared for the man that ever tries attacking my wife. She will fuck his world all up.

nuffingman

Fantastic! Over here the police would arrest her and charge her with assault and battery and let him off with a slapped wrist. Oh, and probably pay him damages too. Hope his head hurts.

StillHere

Yellow Ledbelly wrote:

I know a guy who is called Skillet because he was trying to sneak in his own house late one night after his wifey locked him out.
As he climbed through the windown....BAM!!!
Skillet

like i said...

CJMST3K

"I had to beat them to death with their own shoes."

StillHere

this reminds me of a story

i'd tell you but no one would listen that long

ooh OK you twisted my arm..

(heheheeee i heard ya, 'oh no here she goes again'..too bad...you're not getting away that easy :P )

sooo..

one time...

at band camp...

no really,

one time,

these guys were beating up my neighbor's teenage daughter

it was like 1 a.m. or something

hot summer night

like 4 of them on her

and of course i ran over to save the day

and one of these guys threw a metal garbage can at me

and called me "fat"

and in front of my little baby girl?

and when we were having such a nice time too

fkd up the whole atmosphere of the thingy we had going on there, ya know?

awwwwwww.. come on now dude...really?

(beat up my neighbor? pushing it...heaving heavy metal objects at me?..on the edge....but now, you're calling' me fat? oh no you didn't :roll: )

you know, its like...

i think i fisticuffed him a good half dozen in the temple before he got away

(I even recall "US Blues" was playing ...background music for a melee? i think not)

and then he and his posse of scum threatened to come back with guns

and, wait for it ......................

"shoot your kneecaps off"
(sounds like a bad movie right?)

bad thing about it was that they DID..come back...with guns..

but so did the cops..

so i still have my kneecaps

(and i'm not the one who got arrested wwhhhewww)

so i'm right there with YOUR wife loadedgun

laid back, lazy, 4:20-ing, deadheadin' jammer...that's me
(well, some might think i'm lazy but the truth is, i'm just so damned fast they can't see me coming or going. i'm like a ninja, that's what I am )

you know, usually, i'm an "i'm rubber, you're glue..nah nah nananaaaaaaaah" kinda gal, fighting requires way too much energy

*ever seen "The Dude"? you know, the big lebowski? well picture that, only the female version...got that in your head? .....ok ..nice to meet you :wave: :yawn:



yep, i gotta get me one of those fryin' pans, preferably cast iron, just in case i ever run into the likes of them again someday

heheheeee..send your wives over for lessons boys...they're free

(actually we'll just "say" we're having self-defense lessons. and if the room's a little smokey, foggy and smells kinda sweet when you come back, and everyone seems to be having a hilariously good time? well, no worries) :angel: :wave:

just so you know, that's the ONLY time anything like that's ever happened, i'm definitely not a fighter

example: when i caught my husband fkin around with another woman, i calmly walked into the house, threw all of his stuff out the back door, put on the deadbolt, a chair under the knob, turned up the music, and had a smoke and a beer .. and a good riddance to ya, don't let the door hit ya in the a$$ on the way out, kinda thing (never mind the 20 yrs...)

easier that way...minimal energy expended...minimal damage done...who needs that?

fightin takes too much out of a person

anyway...sooooooo... true story..

boring, but true

what that had to do with ANYTHING i can't tell you, but there it is :roll:

kinda gives new meaning to the word "pothead" doesn't it?



My Hero


MORAL OF THE STORY?

No matter how fat i really am....just don't bring it up, OK? thanks

loadedgun

It's too long to quote, but that is the post of the day.

Riverrunner

Ginger, the Florida school board member, needed a skillet instead of that wimpy purse.

StillHere

Riverrunner wrote:

Ginger, the Florida school board member, needed a skillet instead of that wimpy purse.

:roll: