Hug Your Kids Today

Hugh Freaking DillonHugh Freaking Dillon Posts: 14,010
edited November 2010 in A Moving Train
My wife is the assistant director at a daycare. One of their little crocodiles (age 3-5) was diagnosed with a rare cancer last winter. He died last week. The obituary said "goodbye to our little ninja" as that is what he said he wanted to be when he grew up.

Over the past month while he was sick, he made a thousand little bracelets to be given out to all the people that attended his funeral. It was a cloth bracelet with one bead, and on each bead he told the nurse and his mom what to write. On my wife's, it says "smile".

The funeral was yesterday. I wasn't there, as I had never met him, and my wife told me it wasn't necessary for me to take time off work. The CancerCare nurse got up and spoke, and she said that a few days before he died, he said to her:

"can I tell you a secret?"
"sure"
"promise you won't tell anyone?"
"I promise"
whispers in her ear "I'm not scared anymore".

When my wife told me that, I took one look at my own young daughters and started to weep uncontrollably as I made dinner. It lasted a good hour, and I'm starting to well up as I speak. I cannot even begin to imagine the utter pain of losing a child. How awful. It's just so sad.

I know most people will read this, think about their kids, maybe shed a small tear, and really think about how much they love their family. It migth be fleeting. It might not be. Either way, just try to remember the next time your child doesn't exhibit the best manners, or throws a toy, or whatever, just remember how lucky we are to have healthy wonderful happy kids.

From what I hear, Ethan was a wonderful little boy. I'm not religious, but prayers for his parents and his older brother, who also goes to my wife's daycare.

To all on the moving train.........love.

Paul
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • ClaireackClaireack Posts: 13,561
    Not a regular in MT but had to read as the title mentioned 'kids', thanks for posting, a very moving story and will try and give my 13 year old a hug when he gets back from school.
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,497
    Thanks for that.

    What a wonderful message from a terrible situation. Seems like a truly special ninja, the bracelets are an amazing thing. I have no idea how you say goodbye to your baby boy/girl. Don't really want to think about it, and hope I never have to have the strength to do so.

    Sending good vibes to all that knew and loved that little guy.
    hippiemom = goodness
  • Thanks for sharing that post. My thoughts and prayers are with his family. I am a single mom of a 6yr old boy. I can't even imagine ever losing him. So sad.
    Got Chocolate?
  • JeanwahJeanwah Posts: 6,363
    Love, love, love! <3

    It's the blessing we all receive after suffering a tragic loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to the Little Ninja's family and friends. I'm thankful every day I'm still with my daughter (and family), as it was a close call 9 months ago. She's the reason why I fight so hard to get better.
  • mikalinamikalina Posts: 7,206
    I'm sorry to read about your family - how very sad.... the loss of a child has to be one of the worst experiance a parent can go through.

    I hug my children every day and tell them every day how much I love them. You just never know what can change in a second.
    ********************************************************************************************* image
  • StillHereStillHere Posts: 7,795
    If I could see through the tears I would write more
    I can't
    Imagining that little child resolving himself to the end of his own life, and spending his time thinking about the people in his life who will miss him...by making those special bracelets..one for each person in his life.

    I think this young child handled his own fate much better than we adults ever could. What a brave little ninja.

    I hope he's found his super secret ninja skills are truly awesome wherever it is that he dwells now.

    OMG my heart breaks.

    I am reminded every day just how precious life is and how blessed we are to have children of our own.

    Thank you so much for sharing.
    peace,
    jo

    http://www.Etsy.com/Shop/SimpleEarthCreations
    "How I choose to feel is how I am." ~ EV/MMc
    "Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends." ~ One Stab ~
  • so do I. I even had to scold my oldest daughter this morning right before my wife took her and her sister to daycare, but in the midst of her tears and my annoyance, I hugged her, told her I loved her, and said "have a great day, sweetie". I always do that, not just after Ethan passed. Because you're absolutely right. You never know.
    mikalina wrote:
    I'm sorry to read about your family - how very sad.... the loss of a child has to be one of the worst experiance a parent can go through.

    I hug my children every day and tell them every day how much I love them. You just never know what can change in a second.
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • gimmesometruth27gimmesometruth27 St. Fuckin Louis Posts: 23,303
    thanks for posting this Paul. i think this is one thing that we can all agree on, cancer sucks.

    wow...i have no words for how sad that is and for how strong little Ethan was. kids always seem to come to grips with their own mortality much better than adults for some reason.

    i absolutely hate cancer. too many people i know and love completely have been touched by it or taken away by it.

    my band accidently but luckily got involved with a fundraising charity for children's cancer research about five years ago. they were having a fundraiser at the venue we were going to play that night and as we were loading our gear in there were like 30 people on the stage getting their heads shaved bald. we did not know what was happening but it was a fundraiser for St. Baldrick's. There were probably 700 people there and all of these people getting their head shaved had collected pledges from family and friends to donate to the charity. one guy had $3000 on his head and he donated it to the charity. i will never forget seeing so many sick kids running around there and having what looked like a great time. they all had some form of childhood cancer and were all bald. i will never forget these two little boys probably ages 7 or 8, came up to our singer and i and gave us these green St. Baldrick's bracelets that said "St. Baldrick's, until there is a cure" to wear. They were supposed to be selling them for $5 a piece but they both gave one each to my singer and i and then to the rest of the band. i put the bracelets on my wrist and i remember kneeling down and talking to them for about 10 or 15 minutes minutes. i had so many questions to ask them, but how do you ask complete strangers about their illness? i basically asked them how they were feeling and we just talked to them about baseball because they were big cardinals fans. they wanted me to show them how to play something on the guitar, but all of my stuff was still packed up in road cases. i went and got a guitar and just played the music to "elderly woman", they did not know it, but it thought they might like it because it has a lot of chord changes. i remember liking watching guitarists change chords when i was that age. I eventually was introduced to one of the boy's parents and they were very nice. i could not imagine the strength that they must have had to be able to go through what they were going through with their son. everyone in my band has a story like this because like i said there were so many kids there, and we all had interactions with some of them at some point before our show. i felt bad for getting 2 of the $5 bracelets for free so i bid all of the cash i had on me, $37 on one of the people who got their head shaved. i felt it was the least i could do. we played immediately after this event 3 years in a row, and i still wonder whatever happened to those two boys. when it was time to start setting up my stuff on the stage they hugged me and ask if i would be back next year. i told them i would. unfortunately they were not at the subsequent 2 events that we attended. i hope like hell that they were able to overcome their illness and are living happy and healthy lives, but knowing what i know about cancer it is difficult for me to be 100% certain whatever came of them. it was a really touching night. i still have the bracelets at home on my dresser and i still remember their names, Eric and Tyler. they would be teenagers by now if everything had turned out ok. i really hope it did.

    here are a few links to info about St. Baldrick's

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpraDXTOSoc

    http://www.stbaldricks.org/
    "You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry."  - Lincoln

    "Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
  • ajedigeckoajedigecko \m/deplorable af \m/ Posts: 2,430
    "I'm not scared anymore"
    -Ethan


    courageous......indeed.
    live and let live...unless it violates the pearligious doctrine.
  • StillHereStillHere Posts: 7,795
    ajedigecko wrote:
    "I'm not scared anymore"
    -Ethan


    courageous......indeed.

    :cry::cry:
    peace,
    jo

    http://www.Etsy.com/Shop/SimpleEarthCreations
    "How I choose to feel is how I am." ~ EV/MMc
    "Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends." ~ One Stab ~
  • youngsteryoungster Boston Posts: 6,576
    Very sad story. I think like all parents do, I get irked at some of the things my kids do. Just because deep down I want the best for them. Sometimes I yell at them and sometimes they cry and yell back. But after all is over I always sit them down and tell them I love them. 10 years ago I couldn't imagine my life with kids in it. Now, I can't imagine my life without them.
    He who forgets will be destined to remember.

    9/29/04 Boston, 6/28/08 Mansfield, 8/23/09 Chicago, 5/15/10 Hartford
    5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
    8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
    EV Solo: 6/16/11 Boston, 6/18/11 Hartford,
  • KDH12KDH12 Posts: 2,096
    I think it is amazing the amount of insight kids have in the simple things of life
    **CUBS GO ALL THE WAY IN......never **
  • Paul David wrote:
    "can I tell you a secret?"
    "sure"
    "promise you won't tell anyone?"
    "I promise"
    whispers in her ear "I'm not scared anymore".
    precious little ninja.

    that's right you beautiful little man. nothing to be scared of anymore.
  • What a sad and inspiring story

    Im glad he felt ready for what was to come for him. So sad as well that he should have to suffer. and his families suffering.
    Every day tell those you love that you do, and how much.
    Take the time now or you shall regret it later.

    Little ninja I hope your kicking BUTT whereever your little ninga spirit took you
    AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    so this bloke angry with his ex stabbed his 2 year old daughter to death.

    zahra was a young aussie girl living with her father and stepmother in the US . she went missing. her stepmother has led police to the various places her body parts were buried. this ittle girl has survived cancer. but couldnt survive humans.


    what the hell is wrong with people???
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • ajedigeckoajedigecko \m/deplorable af \m/ Posts: 2,430
    so this bloke angry with his ex stabbed his 2 year old daughter to death.

    zahra was a young aussie girl living with her father and stepmother in the US . she went missing. her stepmother has led police to the various places her body parts were buried. this ittle girl has survived cancer. but couldnt survive humans.


    what the hell is wrong with people???
    speechless.

    the thing was not human........it had everyone fooled.
    live and let live...unless it violates the pearligious doctrine.
  • g under pg under p Surfing The far side of THE Sombrero Galaxy Posts: 18,200
    ajedigecko wrote:
    so this bloke angry with his ex stabbed his 2 year old daughter to death.

    zahra was a young aussie girl living with her father and stepmother in the US . she went missing. her stepmother has led police to the various places her body parts were buried. this ittle girl has survived cancer. but couldnt survive humans.


    what the hell is wrong with people???
    speechless.

    the thing was not human........it had everyone fooled.

    One of the saddest cases I've ever heard even though she would have been 11 on Tuesday.

    NC girl's birthday comes amid grim revelations

    Peace
    *We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti

    *MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
    .....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti

    *The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)


  • :cry:
    g under p wrote:
    ajedigecko wrote:
    so this bloke angry with his ex stabbed his 2 year old daughter to death.

    zahra was a young aussie girl living with her father and stepmother in the US . she went missing. her stepmother has led police to the various places her body parts were buried. this ittle girl has survived cancer. but couldnt survive humans.


    what the hell is wrong with people???
    speechless.

    the thing was not human........it had everyone fooled.

    One of the saddest cases I've ever heard even though she would have been 11 on Tuesday.

    NC girl's birthday comes amid grim revelations

    Peace
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • FrannyFranny Posts: 2,054
    ajedigecko wrote:
    so this bloke angry with his ex stabbed his 2 year old daughter to death.

    zahra was a young aussie girl living with her father and stepmother in the US . she went missing. her stepmother has led police to the various places her body parts were buried. this ittle girl has survived cancer. but couldnt survive humans.


    what the hell is wrong with people???
    speechless.

    the thing was not human........it had everyone fooled.


    Some of our species are just pure evil. Every time I hear about things like this happening to kids I think of what could have been with the situation with my ex. Just so glad I had the intuition and the guts to say no to unsupervised contact between him and with my then baby son.
    Every day I am grateful for having my son, and we have a very close bond. We'll be walking along and he'll just say, "Mummy, I love you".....and this happens everyday.
    Some people don't deserve to have kids, and it sucks that some who would love to struggle to do so, and would surely give these kids a life they deserve.
  • Every day I am grateful for having my son, and we have a very close bond. We'll be walking along and he'll just say, "Mummy, I love you".....and this happens everyday.

    how awesome. my daughter does the same thing with my wife and I. I can't wait until our little Sam (1) does the same!
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,497
    Paul David wrote:
    Every day I am grateful for having my son, and we have a very close bond. We'll be walking along and he'll just say, "Mummy, I love you".....and this happens everyday.

    how awesome. my daughter does the same thing with my wife and I. I can't wait until our little Sam (1) does the same!


    Great stuff. My daughter is 3 and a big fan of princesses. Everytime I try to play the bad guy or something, she stops me and says..."No daddy, you're my prince".

    Heck I now purposely try to be the bad guy so I can hear her say it. Won't last long, but it sure is nice. I love that little princess.
    hippiemom = goodness
  • ajedigeckoajedigecko \m/deplorable af \m/ Posts: 2,430
    Paul David wrote:
    Every day I am grateful for having my son, and we have a very close bond. We'll be walking along and he'll just say, "Mummy, I love you".....and this happens everyday.

    how awesome. my daughter does the same thing with my wife and I. I can't wait until our little Sam (1) does the same!


    Great stuff. My daughter is 3 and a big fan of princesses. Everytime I try to play the bad guy or something, she stops me and says..."No daddy, you're my prince".

    Heck I now purposely try to be the bad guy so I can hear her say it. Won't last long, but it sure is nice. I love that little princess.
    great stuff...indeed.

    on weekends, we dig out our headlamps and play hide/seek in the dark.
    live and let live...unless it violates the pearligious doctrine.
  • tinkerbelltinkerbell New Zealand Posts: 2,161
    I tell my kids and partner I love them all the time. My 3 year old is so cute - he will squeeze into bed with me, wrap his little arms around my neck give me a kiss and say "I love you too mummy" ... makes my heart melt everytime. The thought of losing a child that I know let alone my own is terrifying!
    all you need is love, love is all you need
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