This Is Why I Hate The Holidays

unlost dogs
unlost dogs Greater Boston Posts: 12,553
edited November 2010 in All Encompassing Trip
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7tEGPUSt8Y

A few years ago, one of Mr. Unlost's work colleagues had a wife who was selling Mary Kaye cosmetics.

Said the colleague, "Hey, Mr. Unlost! You should buy your wife one of these Mary Kaye makeup gift baskets for Christmas. It's the perfect gift. She'd love it"

Replied Mr. Unlost: "If I gave that to my wife for Christmas, she'd fucking throw it at me."

Worst gift ever?

I'll start with the one my brother and sister-in-law gave Mr. Unlost the first year we were married. It was a black, white and red Pierre Cardin velour sweatsuit _ but only the top. With the tag that said "Two Piece Set."

Every year, after they leave, Mr. Unlost says wistfully, "I was really hoping this would be the year I got the bottoms."

It's still hanging up in one of our closets. With the tags attached.
15 years of sharks 06/30/08 (MA), 05/17/10 (Boston), 09/03/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/04/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/30/12 (Missoula), 07/19/13 (Wrigley), 10/15/13 (Worcester), 10/16/13 (Worcester), 10/25/13 (Hartford), 12/4/13 (Vancouver), 12/6/13 (Seattle), 6/26/14 (Berlin), 6/28/14 (Stockholm), 10/16/14 (Detroit)
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • 81
    81 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
    A 24 pack of coke, cut in half, so only 12 cans. I wish i was joking
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    81 wrote:
    A 24 pack of coke, cut in half, so only 12 cans. I wish i was joking


    maybe this year youll get 24 lines of coke, cut precisely in half to make 48. ;) 8-)


    blo ho ho merry christmas
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • know1
    know1 Posts: 6,801
    Hmmm...receiving gifts never made me bitter. I guess it's all in your attitude and perspective on life.
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

    Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    i can't understand why you'd hate Christmas because someone is shit at buying you presents...

    I love the whole atmosphere and everything that comes with it... it's much more than someone's present not meeting your expectations.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    I don't remember gifts I don't like and I donate them quickly.
    JB has a closet full from previous years
    and jokes about going shopping in his closet for others...but hasn't so far.

    My favorite gifts, the homemade tree ornaments the kids made at the local nature center
    almost 20 years ago.
    Cool dazzling pinecones, an angel made out of a clothespin, painted peach pits,
    silly sweet stuff and the pic ornaments they made in school too.

    Homemade gifts keep their value. I love the holidays but you gotta keep it simple and from the heart.
  • Poncier
    Poncier Posts: 17,982
    Worst Christmas card ever was Dunk's last year with the upkilt photo.
    This weekend we rock Portland
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    Poncier wrote:
    Worst Christmas card ever was Dunk's last year with the upkilt photo.

    i think it shows how advanced zoom lenses have become...

    Scotland invented zoom lenses btw..
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • rollings
    rollings unknown Posts: 7,127
    edited March 2011
    deck the halls
    Post edited by rollings on
  • 81
    81 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
    I enjoy Christmas and instead of being worried about what i will get, i just go buy myself something. I've got some good presents this way. :lol:
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • neilybabes86
    neilybabes86 Posts: 16,057
    it has become to materialistic
    i post on the board of a band that doesn't exsist anymore .......i need my head examined.......
  • unlost dogs
    unlost dogs Greater Boston Posts: 12,553
    Half Full wrote:
    Dude(s)/Dudette(s),

    I can bet my last piece of coal on the fact that the OP started the thread as a means to be funny, so that others can add funny stuff, about funny gifts given/received etc. Funny stuff like that.

    In other words.....its supposed to be funny,
    (Funny.)

    Easy with the tinsel,
    lighten up the halls

    As usual, entirely right, Half Full!

    But we can't always get a laugh out of the grumpy elves, so just smile and wave at them and resolve to buy them better fitting underwear this holiday season.
    15 years of sharks 06/30/08 (MA), 05/17/10 (Boston), 09/03/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/04/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/30/12 (Missoula), 07/19/13 (Wrigley), 10/15/13 (Worcester), 10/16/13 (Worcester), 10/25/13 (Hartford), 12/4/13 (Vancouver), 12/6/13 (Seattle), 6/26/14 (Berlin), 6/28/14 (Stockholm), 10/16/14 (Detroit)
  • RKCNDY
    RKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    I suggest you all decorate your house like this:

    http://wtfcalls.net/reddit/xmas_light_wtf.php

    I want to so bad but I have been voted down....
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • Dissidentman
    Dissidentman Posts: 15,378
    Poncier wrote:
    Worst Christmas card ever was Dunk's last year with the upkilt photo.

    Sick - I thought that was a bat wing under magnification. :sick:
  • mikalina
    mikalina Posts: 7,206
    Yep - I've had some pretty bad gifts from my one aunt, every year it never fails - but she keeps me laughing and I love her to pieces. Thanks Aunt Josephine - remember I'm a size " small " !!!!! :D
    ********************************************************************************************* image
  • BinauralJam
    BinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    My Co-worker bought his wife a pair of slippers and a dildo for Christmas a couple of years back. He said "If she don't like the slippers she can go F*** herself" :lol::lol::lol:

    There divorced now.
  • Dissidentman
    Dissidentman Posts: 15,378
    Have you seen this pic of BinauralJam in his holiday best?





    badsweater.jpg
  • unlost dogs
    unlost dogs Greater Boston Posts: 12,553
    Dissidentman wrote:
    Have you seen this pic of BinauralJam in his holiday best?





    badsweater.jpg

    :lol:

    :o Wait _ that's not him. There's no Mickey Mouse on that sweater.

    You almost fooled me there, Dissidentman. Almost.
    15 years of sharks 06/30/08 (MA), 05/17/10 (Boston), 09/03/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/04/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/30/12 (Missoula), 07/19/13 (Wrigley), 10/15/13 (Worcester), 10/16/13 (Worcester), 10/25/13 (Hartford), 12/4/13 (Vancouver), 12/6/13 (Seattle), 6/26/14 (Berlin), 6/28/14 (Stockholm), 10/16/14 (Detroit)
  • BinauralJam
    BinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    Dissidentman wrote:
    Have you seen this pic of BinauralJam in his holiday best?





    badsweater.jpg


    My Mom knitted that, she can make ya one if ya like?
  • Dissidentman
    Dissidentman Posts: 15,378
    BinauralJam wrote:
    Dissidentman wrote:
    Have you seen this pic of BinauralJam in his holiday best?





    badsweater.jpg


    My Mom knitted that, she can make ya one if ya like?

    I would wear it proudly. Can she make a matching bucket hat?
  • BinauralJam
    BinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    i'll see if i can find a pattern.

    dog-christmas-sweater.png

    Unlost would your dogs be intrested in a Christmas Sweater?

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