best man speech

mattdingle

Any advice for a best mans speech. My times running out , dreading the thoughts of it.

catefrances

sometimes the jokes you think are funny... arent.

FenwayFaithful

Take a deep breath.

I was the best man in my cousin's wedding a few years ago on super-short notice. He got into a huge fight with his best friend about 4 days before the wedding and I had to spring into action. I gave a brief speech, stayed calm, and everyone loved it. It sounds trite but you gotta speak from the heart. One piece of advice I can give is start off with describing what your relationship to the groom means, how you guys became friends and what you value about him as a friend. Then tie it in together with how this will change for the better or how special the bride is for finding someone who you personally respect and admire. It's not necessary, but always nice to add a tactful joke or sappy anecdote about love. But remember, you're not pandering to the young crowd, you're making the speech safe for the geriatrics. If grandma is pissed that you told a racy joke about a weekend in Vegas 4 years ago, there won't be much love from the fam during the reception.

Don't worry kid. It'll all work out. Have confidence and a little blind faith. Also, come back and update us with how it all goes.

polaris_x

FenwayFaithful wrote:

But remember, you're not pandering to the young crowd, you're making the speech safe for the geriatrics. If grandma is pissed that you told a racy joke about a weekend in Vegas 4 years ago, there won't be much love from the fam during the reception.

i'm in a similar boat ... here's my question ... my plan is to run a slideshow and take some pictures i have of the groom and string together a theme ... one of the things i was gonna say was my friend (groom) always wanted to be an ass model (for some reasons, there are tons of pictures of him taken by everyone where he is bent over - not mooning or anything) ... is that considered too racy? ... i personally think it's grandma and kid friendly but best to get a second opinion on this ...

as to the OP - i would say keep it short and sweet ... the worst you could do is have it go too long ...

neilybabes86

short and sweet

leave out the stupid jokes

mca47

I did my first best man speech about a year and a half ago.
I don't get nervous about ANYTHING and I was crazy nervous about doing it. Standing up in front of 250 people and giving a speech... :shock:

I had a couple drinks beforehand, which helped A LOT...and just went for it. I had an idea of the points I wanted to talk about, but it was 70% impromptu.

Don't read from a script.
It can be funny, but make sure the jokes are actually funny and not offensive.
Keep it short. Shorter is better than long, as people don't really care all that much as to what you are saying. They just mostly want to eat and party at that point.

While I was nervous as hell, once I was given the mic and started doing it, it wasn't as bad as I thought.

The Fixer

don't read from a notecard or piece of paper. when I gave my best man speeches I never wrote anything out. just go up there and speak from the heart. the worst speeches are when the best man goes up there and reads some crappy cookie cutter speech he just downloaded off the internet the morning of the wedding.

also, make sure you have a few drinks beforehand to calm your nerves. but don't overindulge. I was so nervous the first time I had to give a speech that I forgot to thank the bride's parents for throwing the party. that's not cool. I still feel bad about that.

you'll do fine...good luck.

The Fixer

polaris_x wrote:

FenwayFaithful wrote:

But remember, you're not pandering to the young crowd, you're making the speech safe for the geriatrics. If grandma is pissed that you told a racy joke about a weekend in Vegas 4 years ago, there won't be much love from the fam during the reception.

i'm in a similar boat ... here's my question ... my plan is to run a slideshow and take some pictures i have of the groom and string together a theme ... one of the things i was gonna say was my friend (groom) always wanted to be an ass model (for some reasons, there are tons of pictures of him taken by everyone where he is bent over - not mooning or anything) ... is that considered too racy? ... i personally think it's grandma and kid friendly but best to get a second opinion on this ...

as to the OP - i would say keep it short and sweet ... the worst you could do is have it go too long ...

just know your audience. I'm assuming you know the groom's parents. maybe run the idea by them and get the ok. that's what I'd do

for what it's worth, that idea sounds great to me

markymark550

good advice all around.....especially about the history of the friendship with the groom, remembering who is in the audience, and keeping it short

I'd also add that it doesn't hurt to thank/compliment whoever is paying for most of it (typically bride's parents)

CJMST3K

I was at a rehearsal dinner a month ago in a beautiful outside reception on the water in NY. A beautiful setting. Apparently, of course right as I stepped away to use the bathroom, a drunk acquaintance of the bride made an abrupt speech about "we've all been fucking each other" and so on... I missed the whole thing

When I came back to my seat, lots of puzzled looks of everyone at my table. I missed what was probably the most profanity and insult laden speeches at a wedding. My cousin said this girl was shit-faced at the table and immediately knew that when she stood up that he struck gold and filmed it, but I have yet to see it.

Anyway, I'd avoid anything resembling that for the best man in the OP.

The Fixer

CJMST3K wrote:

I was at a rehearsal dinner a month ago in a beautiful outside reception on the water in NY. A beautiful setting. Apparently, of course right as I stepped away to use the bathroom, a drunk acquaintance of the bride made an abrupt speech about "we've all been fucking each other" and so on... I missed the whole thing

When I came back to my seat, lots of puzzled looks of everyone at my table. I missed what was probably the most profanity and insult laden speeches at a wedding. My cousin said this girl was shit-faced at the table and immediately knew that when she stood up that he struck gold and filmed it, but I have yet to see it.

Anyway, I'd avoid anything resembling that for the best man in the OP.

the best man/maid of honor speeches are the highlight of any wedding for me. well, after the open bar of course

FenwayFaithful

"You think you know what true love is and then you catch the early flight back from San Diego and catch two naked people pop out of your bathroom like a damn magic show..."

"It stops right there and it ends right here because I think what my friend Mitch is trying to say is that true love is blind. So lets raise a glass to Frank and Marissa. I'm not a talker!"

he.who.forgets

i made a complete ass out of myself the only time I've been best man. waaaaay to drunk. short & sweet is def the safest way to go. just be genuine and dont overthink it

81

i'd go something like this.


mrs. new bride, you could have done better.

thanks
good night

PillowPants

drop your pants first

then say some words



people will love it

peacegirl

mattdingle wrote:

Any advice for a best mans speech. My times running out , dreading the thoughts of it.

I'm officiating my friend's wedding in a few weeks and am getting nervous about it now - at least it's a small wedding!

good luck!