Confession
DreamOfAngels
Posts: 829
Dear PJ,
Forgive me for my sins. It has been a week or two since I've last confessed. I have not cleansed my soul of anger or pain or filled my soul with dreams with hope for much too long. I have neglected your advice, your words, your songs, your spirit, the source of all things good to my soul. I have not asked you for help though I've been in need. Please forgive me for these sins. Believe me, I have not placed any other before you. I simply have spent too much time focused on work and no time during this period to listen to you, visit my friends in the forum, or take care of myself. I promise to do better today.
I will turn your sermon up loud til I can hear nothing else, I will sing til I have no voice, I will fill my soul with your words and your spirit until I have no more anger and pain. I will let you in to keep me safe. I will stay up all night and alone if I must. I will dream of days that are not full of black clouds. I can’t keep any promises that this will happen quickly. My pain is so deep that I may need some education on how to survive these fatal blows. Maybe I should just go. I know, I know... I need to hold on and give myself time to heal but it is hard when I feel complete indifference to the world around me. I try to just breathe and continue to dream that no more pain exists in my future. Sometimes I feel completely outta my mind and breathing doesn’t help. Everyone tells me to live in the present tense and to take care of myself today. I need a release. I am so sad that it is difficult to conjure up a smile at times. I think it would be best if I just disappeared into thin air. I reckon U wouldn’t even notice I’m gone. I don’t even know who you are anymore. You were an angel ….
DOA
Forgive me for my sins. It has been a week or two since I've last confessed. I have not cleansed my soul of anger or pain or filled my soul with dreams with hope for much too long. I have neglected your advice, your words, your songs, your spirit, the source of all things good to my soul. I have not asked you for help though I've been in need. Please forgive me for these sins. Believe me, I have not placed any other before you. I simply have spent too much time focused on work and no time during this period to listen to you, visit my friends in the forum, or take care of myself. I promise to do better today.
I will turn your sermon up loud til I can hear nothing else, I will sing til I have no voice, I will fill my soul with your words and your spirit until I have no more anger and pain. I will let you in to keep me safe. I will stay up all night and alone if I must. I will dream of days that are not full of black clouds. I can’t keep any promises that this will happen quickly. My pain is so deep that I may need some education on how to survive these fatal blows. Maybe I should just go. I know, I know... I need to hold on and give myself time to heal but it is hard when I feel complete indifference to the world around me. I try to just breathe and continue to dream that no more pain exists in my future. Sometimes I feel completely outta my mind and breathing doesn’t help. Everyone tells me to live in the present tense and to take care of myself today. I need a release. I am so sad that it is difficult to conjure up a smile at times. I think it would be best if I just disappeared into thin air. I reckon U wouldn’t even notice I’m gone. I don’t even know who you are anymore. You were an angel ….
DOA
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"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
but wonderful writing
jo
http://www.Etsy.com/Shop/SimpleEarthCreations
"How I choose to feel is how I am." ~ EV/MMc
"Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends." ~ One Stab ~
Chicago-2009
Philly (Spectrum 3)-2009
Philly (Spectrum 4)-2009
St. Louis-2010
Columbus, OH-2010
Indy, IN-2010
Wrigley-2013
Cincy-2014
St. Louis-2014
Raleigh, NC-2016 (Cancelled)
New Orleans Jazz Fest-2016
Wrigley II-2016
The water attempts to wash away the mountain trail I rely on each day. The hot needles fall fast and penetrate my skin as if it is creating a new tattoo to represent my current challenges. The needle pushes in each day and the design is becoming much too complicated. The lines are drawn so deliberately yet I have no control over the path of the ink. I can tell the waterfall is rushing faster and the path I expected to take is being washed away. Where am I? How do I get back home? Where do I need to go next to search for my soul? It's no suprise I got lost out here. The wind and the rain separate me from any future. Ed? Can you write me a lullaby that will sooth my mind? Can you sing the verses in a way that will caress my heart? Will you inspire me somehow and show me what hope is again? I need your help. I need to you to find me. I’m dying but they can’t see – I never let them know...
Lost in a river
When I had a stroke at the beginning of last year, I was angry, frustrated, sad, scared, thankful, appreciative, every emotion possible. I felt so lucky because it could have been much worse. I was still alive and very happy about that and very thankful to all of the people that reached out to me and my family. I was emotionally overwhelmed when I won front row seats to the Columbus, OH show in May 2010. PJ was saving me again... but I lost perspective at some point after that. I was emotionally beaten up several times throughout the year and just wasn't able to keep my head above water.I would start to swim and suddenly a wave would appear and take me under. I've had a creative connection to water, oceans, and waves, long before Pearl Jam or Ed, but it used to be about beauty - now it seems to be about betrayal, lack of trust and lack of calmness. The 'present tense' is as bad as the past somtimes.
Here's to a new year, a new outlook, a new sense of peace and strength and resolve. It's time for Corduroy...