firing band members....
gimmesometruth27
Posts: 23,303
with the text to movie video of stone telling ed how he fired dave a making the rounds on the other forums i was thinking about this...i was at some prewedding festivities this evening with my band. our drummer gets married tomorrow and we are all in the wedding, so we were sitting around reminiscing about how we formed and got together 8 years ago and the subject of our original singer came up. he was a pretty decent friend of mine and he was a talented singer but he just did not fit what our band was going for at the time. he also did not get along very well with our bass player who was acting as our manager at the time, and we used to get frustrated because he would never be prepared for practice or anything. he would show up without lyrics and he would forget the ones he wrote or learned at the prior practices..eventually the guys wanted to fire him and since he was my friend, i had to do the "honors". our bass player was like "he is your friend, you fire him..." i was like "no way man, i can't do that to this guy i have known for 5 years"....and i was pretty much pressured into doing it. it was a difficult thing to do, and i was really uncomfortable doing it. i know it really hurt his feelings, but i broke it to him as gently and constructively as i could have, but how can you nicely tell someone the guys do not want you in the band anymore? it was really awkward when he came to our rehearsal space to get his pa and guitars and stuff. he was very angry and my friendship with him really suffered after that. i would call him to go out with us on weekends like we always had before and he never returned my calls. about a year after that he went to a club we were playing and was really surprised to see us up on the stage. he did not know our name so he randomly showed up. we all talked to him for a few minutes between sets but it was really awkward. he said he was happy for what we had accomplished and stuff but i can tell it really pained him to say that. he did not stick around for the whole show and i have not seen or heard from him since that night.
has anyone on here ever had to fire anybody in their band? if so how did it go down and how did you feel about it? i know our band is better because i fired him, but 8 years later i still feel really bad about it.
has anyone on here ever had to fire anybody in their band? if so how did it go down and how did you feel about it? i know our band is better because i fired him, but 8 years later i still feel really bad about it.
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry." - Lincoln
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
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Just recently I almost had to boot out a member and a best friend of 18 years. He would never practice or take care of his gear. He often skipped practices and couldn't make shows. I was in a tight spot but after a year or so of tip-toeing around the subject, he came to me and said he wasn't feeling music, anymore. Guess I dodged a bullet there!
JEFF HARDY AND JEFF AMENT USED TO LOOK THE SAME
"Pearl Jam always eases my mind and fires me up at the same time.”-Jeff Hardy
we were a 3 piece---me on guitar/vocals, a drummer & a bass player. the drummer & i knew that it wasn't working out with our bass player, but we wanted to stick it out & see if he'd change his attitude. he was very controlling and had dollar signs in his eyes---that's all he cared about, where all the drummer & i cared about was making music and playing live shows...money didn't matter at all to us.
without me being aware of it, our drummer placed an ad in an online musicians forum in our city saying that we were looking for a new bass player. our bassist responded to it acting dumb & saying that he was younger than he was, lied about his gear, etc just so we wouldn't be suspicious. so, the drummer responded to his email with our names & web address so he (the "potential" bassist) could check it out & see what he thought of the music. he also asked him to name some originals & covers for him to learn that we could try out at a later date. that's when i found out about it & immediately felt bad for our bassist. i told our drummer that there was a good chance that he saw the ad---he wasn't worried b/c we lived in a big city and there were dozens of wanted ads placed every day.
well, he saw it. he emailed us both saying that he knew a lot of our songs already...and proceeded to name off EVERY ONE of them that we'd ever played or rehearsed. it was a messy situation...and we still had 5-7 shows booked without a bassist. what a crazy time, man.....we had to drive to his house (where we rehearsed sometimes) and pick up some gear. he & i almost got into it...thankfully, cooler heads prevailed.
so we played White Stripes style for a few shows, then found a lead guitarist & bassist. we had a good run, then broke up when i moved after getting married. i still feel bad about how it all went down.
www.cluthelee.com
www.cluthe.com
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
I had to leave my band recently, and that was not cool. I hated ringing the guys individually saying i was leaving
i find a band can be a lot like a marriage. Hard work, but rewarding, but always worth doing.
and i think you are right about it being like a marriage.
unfortunately i have been better about keeping my band together than keeping my relationships together...
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
It's always a bad sign if certain members are unprepared for their duties. There is an overall responsibility to each other, to the music, and to your fans. I once fired a drummer who would show up hungover to practices and shows. The funny thing was, none of the rest of us drank, at least not enough to get messed up. We felt as though he was weighing us down, holding us back. Being in a band is hard and sometimes you have to do what's best for everyone.
From what you've described, you did make the right choice. I guess how you go about salvaging the friendship is up to you. It's been sometime since my situation took place, and we're great friends. Maybe all it will take is a phone call and going out for a beer.
We were preppin for a battle of the bands and the drummers brother in law was gonna be moving into town and taking over. The original singer could see the writing on the wall, but wanted to play one last show(b.o.t.b.), claiming he got it for us, even though he basically just found out about and then forgot to send an email back to get us a definite spot.
Anyway, about a month out from the show we decided all this and got together to jam and get the best possible set. It was fine playing, but everybody was just absolutely not feeling it at that point. After he left I brought up the elephant in the room and just said he's gotta go. Everybody agreed, but I had to make the call. It went somethin like this. "Hey 'singer', I think we're just gonna go ahead and move on for the battle." He said ok and hung up the phone.
Another funny day with that cocksucker, he was talkin on the phone to his lady and they were in the midst of breaking up, he snuck out to tallk on his phone and another dude in the band snuck his(douchebag's) wireless mic outside and set it on a jeep tire and we were listening to/recording it inside.
We've had a couple drummers quit recently. Both times it was quite amicable, aside from the disappointment of lacking a drummer. Once, with a lifelong buddy just as were getting back going, he just couldn't handle the 1 day a week jamming, even though he seems to hang out more now than he did then.
JEFF HARDY AND JEFF AMENT USED TO LOOK THE SAME
"Pearl Jam always eases my mind and fires me up at the same time.”-Jeff Hardy
wow.