espn, you suck

DewieCox

Jason P wrote:

ESPN Has Been Talking About Beards For 80 Straight Hours

Sports News in Brief • Sports • news media • ISSUE 49•43 • Oct 23, 2013

BRISTOL, CT—As part of their 2013 World Series preview, ESPN, the world’s largest sports broadcast network, has been airing content about Red Sox players’ beards, their beard lengths, and the itchiness of their unkempt beards for 80 hours straight, sources confirmed Wednesday. “The Red Sox players have grown very big beards, and this is a story that needs to be told all day, every day, morning, noon, and night,” said Senior Vice President of Programming Rick Berry, adding that for the foreseeable future, all broadcast time on ESPN and its sister networks will be filled with comparisons of one Red Sox player’s beard to another’s, humorous anecdotes about who on the team is unable to grow a full beard, and interviews with baseball analysts about when and why the members of the Red Sox decided to grow their beards. “Tonight On ESPN2 we will be airing Outside The Lines: Beards, after which ESPN viewers can watch Michael Wilbon and Tony Kornheiser do an all-beard edition of PTI. And then, instead of the Celtics-Nets preseason game, we’re just going to air a previously recorded interview with Mike Napoli where we ask him about his beard for two and a half hours. ESPN is covering this beard situation from all angles.” When asked if ESPN cameras will be present if and when Red Sox players decide to shave their beards, Berry said, “You better fucking believe it.”

http://www.theonion.com/articles/espn-has-been-talking-about-beards-for-80-straight,34318/

Funny stuff, but you know next spring there will be a story on them shaving their beards.

Jason P

ESPN Searching For A Few Loud-Mouthed Fucks For New Afternoon Program

Sports News in Brief • Sports • news media • ISSUE 49•46 • Nov 11, 2013

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the program will further strengthen their afternoon lineup, officials at ESPN announced Monday that the network has started searching for a few loud-mouthed fucks to host a new sports talk show. “We’re looking for three, maybe four absolutely reprehensible, know-it-all fucks to sit around a table and share their idiotic opinions about the day’s biggest sports stories,” said ESPN’s vice president of original programming Jamie Horowitz, adding that ideally, the obnoxious, pig-headed pieces of shit will be a mix of annoying national sports columnists, repulsive former athletes, and one prick from Boston. “We’ll just throw some bullshit on one side of the screen while our panel of arrogant fucking assholes scream at each other. The whole debate—if you can even call it that—will be moderated by either another loud-mouthed fuck or an attractive female broadcaster. We feel this show will really complement our other programs on ESPN and perform particularly well in the 4 p.m. time slot.” At press time, ESPN confirmed that producers had started narrowing down their initial pool of 14,000 potential candidates for the show.

Wobbie

when stabby lewis began his postgame "analysis" last night, I had to turn it off.

fuck that guy and fuck espn for giving him a gig :x

Jason P

imalive wrote:

when stabby lewis began his postgame "analysis" last night, I had to turn it off.

fuck that guy and fuck espn for giving him a gig :x

You have to admit he can make a point and really cut through the tough topics at hand.

Wobbie

Jason P wrote:

imalive wrote:

when stabby lewis began his postgame "analysis" last night, I had to turn it off.

fuck that guy and fuck espn for giving him a gig :x

You have to admit he can make a point and really cut through the tough topics at hand.

:fp:

he's sharp as a knife.

rick1zoo2

C'MON MAN!!!

SVRDhand13

So happy I got sirius now and have multiple sports stations

Wobbie

wow, search works. I still don't like this new place but that's a start.

espn - stop talking non-stop about richard sherman. I'd rather see an a-rod reality show.

Wobbie

hannah storm.....merril hoge.....blech!

The Juggler

imalive said:

hannah storm.....merril hoge.....blech!

i still like hannah storm but hoge, and his quadruple windsor ties is the worst.


and for what it's worth, this cari champion chick is worth tuning into that dumb first take show for a few minutes....with the volume on mute, of course.

Wobbie

The Juggler said:

imalive said:

hannah storm.....merril hoge.....blech!

i still like hannah storm but hoge, and his quadruple windsor ties is the worst.


and for what it's worth, this cari champion chick is worth tuning into that dumb first take show for a few minutes....with the volume on mute, of course.

Hannah - too old even for me

Cari - once you go black.....

Wobbie

I turned on espn......stabby was there....I turned it off

even if his commentary is razor sharp

norm

the worldwide leader in sports???



L-)

Wobbie

norm said:

the worldwide leader in sports???



L-)

damn! sorry I missed that. was he congenial as usual?

norm

imalive said:

norm said:

the worldwide leader in sports???


L-)

damn! sorry I missed that. was he congenial as usual?

you don't think i actually watch that abomination of a tv network, do ya?

norm

worldwide leader in shit

The Juggler

congrats to the kings!

norm

http://deadspin.com/espn-spent-the-past-24-hours-carrying-water-for-the-nfl-1610928027

norm

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2176661-espn-reports-on-michael-sams-showering-habits-at-rams-training-camp?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=programming-national3

Wobbie

norm said:

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2176661-espn-reports-on-michael-sams-showering-habits-at-rams-training-camp?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=programming-national3

this is why we need :fp:

Way to go, Josina :rolleyes:

The Juggler

imalive said:

norm said:

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2176661-espn-reports-on-michael-sams-showering-habits-at-rams-training-camp?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=programming-national3

this is why we need :fp:

Way to go, Josina :rolleyes:

all things being equal, bleacher report sucks just about as much as espn. i feel like 15 year old kids are writing those stories for their journalism class or something.

norm

bleacher report was the first link i saw...doesn't change the fact that espn is a pile of burning diapers and used tampons

The Juggler

norm said:

bleacher report was the first link i saw...doesn't change the fact that espn is a pile of burning diapers and used tampons

you love bleacher report!

norm

i do! whatever it is lol

The Juggler

http://community.pearljam.com/discussion/89060/pti-vs-ath-which-is-better#latest

Wobbie

TMZ, not ESPN, breaks the story :rollseyes:

norm

hey ray rice, if you wanna hit someone, hit chris berman

The Juggler

imalive said:

TMZ, not ESPN, breaks the story :rollseyes:

why didn't one of the guys on 'around the horn' break it?

haha

Wobbie

OK, juggler......yesterday, I'm watching ATH....I saw the tail end of NFL Live (oh, by the way, a piece of shit) where they were talking about the tape supposedly sent to NFL HQ....ATH comes on and the ticker continues with the ray rice developments....in other words, I'm aware (but don't really care).

10 minutes later, ESPN cuts away from my show for a special report type thing. fuck me! I move up a channel, looking for ATH, but that channel is showing the exact same fucking thing....even re-showing the "commentary" from the end of NFL Live.

my ATH gone forever. ESPN sucks big dicks!

The Juggler

imalive said:

OK, juggler......yesterday, I'm watching ATH....I saw the tail end of NFL Live (oh, by the way, a piece of shit) where they were talking about the tape supposedly sent to NFL HQ....ATH comes on and the ticker continues with the ray rice developments....in other words, I'm aware (but don't really care).

10 minutes later, ESPN cuts away from my show for a special report type thing. fuck me! I move up a channel, looking for ATH, but that channel is showing the exact same fucking thing....even re-showing the "commentary" from the end of NFL Live.

my ATH gone forever. ESPN sucks big dicks!

i'm willing to bet you watch more espn non sports programing than most people in here......around the horn and that genre in particular is such garbage, imo. just a bunch of hack sports writers yelling shit at each other. i hate that stuff.


pti, i'll grant you, is half way decent. but i've watched maybe 20 minutes of that show in the last 5 years or so.