espn, you suck

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  • DewieCoxDewieCox Posts: 11,356
    Jason P wrote:
    ESPN Has Been Talking About Beards For 80 Straight Hours

    Sports News in Brief • Sports • news media • ISSUE 49•43 • Oct 23, 2013

    BRISTOL, CT—As part of their 2013 World Series preview, ESPN, the world’s largest sports broadcast network, has been airing content about Red Sox players’ beards, their beard lengths, and the itchiness of their unkempt beards for 80 hours straight, sources confirmed Wednesday. “The Red Sox players have grown very big beards, and this is a story that needs to be told all day, every day, morning, noon, and night,” said Senior Vice President of Programming Rick Berry, adding that for the foreseeable future, all broadcast time on ESPN and its sister networks will be filled with comparisons of one Red Sox player’s beard to another’s, humorous anecdotes about who on the team is unable to grow a full beard, and interviews with baseball analysts about when and why the members of the Red Sox decided to grow their beards. “Tonight On ESPN2 we will be airing Outside The Lines: Beards, after which ESPN viewers can watch Michael Wilbon and Tony Kornheiser do an all-beard edition of PTI. And then, instead of the Celtics-Nets preseason game, we’re just going to air a previously recorded interview with Mike Napoli where we ask him about his beard for two and a half hours. ESPN is covering this beard situation from all angles.” When asked if ESPN cameras will be present if and when Red Sox players decide to shave their beards, Berry said, “You better fucking believe it.”

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/espn-has-been-talking-about-beards-for-80-straight,34318/

    Funny stuff, but you know next spring there will be a story on them shaving their beards.
  • Jason PJason P Posts: 19,014
    ESPN Searching For A Few Loud-Mouthed Fucks For New Afternoon Program

    Sports News in Brief • Sports • news media • ISSUE 49•46 • Nov 11, 2013

    BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the program will further strengthen their afternoon lineup, officials at ESPN announced Monday that the network has started searching for a few loud-mouthed fucks to host a new sports talk show. “We’re looking for three, maybe four absolutely reprehensible, know-it-all fucks to sit around a table and share their idiotic opinions about the day’s biggest sports stories,” said ESPN’s vice president of original programming Jamie Horowitz, adding that ideally, the obnoxious, pig-headed pieces of shit will be a mix of annoying national sports columnists, repulsive former athletes, and one prick from Boston. “We’ll just throw some bullshit on one side of the screen while our panel of arrogant fucking assholes scream at each other. The whole debate—if you can even call it that—will be moderated by either another loud-mouthed fuck or an attractive female broadcaster. We feel this show will really complement our other programs on ESPN and perform particularly well in the 4 p.m. time slot.” At press time, ESPN confirmed that producers had started narrowing down their initial pool of 14,000 potential candidates for the show.
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 27,864
    when stabby lewis began his postgame "analysis" last night, I had to turn it off.

    fuck that guy and fuck espn for giving him a gig :x
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
    Denver 22
  • Jason PJason P Posts: 19,014
    imalive wrote:
    when stabby lewis began his postgame "analysis" last night, I had to turn it off.

    fuck that guy and fuck espn for giving him a gig :x
    You have to admit he can make a point and really cut through the tough topics at hand.
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 27,864
    Jason P wrote:
    imalive wrote:
    when stabby lewis began his postgame "analysis" last night, I had to turn it off.

    fuck that guy and fuck espn for giving him a gig :x
    You have to admit he can make a point and really cut through the tough topics at hand.

    :fp:

    he's sharp as a knife.
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
    Denver 22
  • rick1zoo2rick1zoo2 between a rock and a dumb placePosts: 12,632
    C'MON MAN!!!
  • SVRDhand13SVRDhand13 NYCPosts: 25,516
    So happy I got sirius now and have multiple sports stations
    severed hand thirteen

    2006: Gorge 7/23 2008: Hartford 6/27 Beacon 7/1 2009: Spectrum 10/30-31
    2010: Newark 5/18 MSG 5/20-21 2011: PJ20 9/3-4 2012: Made In America 9/2
    2013: Brooklyn 10/18-19 Philly 10/21-22 Hartford 10/25 2014: ACL10/12
    2015: NYC 9/23 2016: Tampa 4/11 Philly 4/28-29 MSG 5/1-2 Fenway 8/5+7
    2017: RRHoF 4/7   2018: Fenway 9/2+9/4   2021: Sea Hear Now 9/18 
    2022: MSG 9/11
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 27,864
    wow, search works. I still don't like this new place but that's a start.

    espn - stop talking non-stop about richard sherman. I'd rather see an a-rod reality show.
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
    Denver 22
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 27,864
    hannah storm.....merril hoge.....blech!
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
    Denver 22
  • The JugglerThe Juggler Behind that bush over there.Posts: 44,092
    imalive said:

    hannah storm.....merril hoge.....blech!

    i still like hannah storm but hoge, and his quadruple windsor ties is the worst.


    and for what it's worth, this cari champion chick is worth tuning into that dumb first take show for a few minutes....with the volume on mute, of course.
    chinese-happy.jpg
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 27,864

    imalive said:

    hannah storm.....merril hoge.....blech!

    i still like hannah storm but hoge, and his quadruple windsor ties is the worst.


    and for what it's worth, this cari champion chick is worth tuning into that dumb first take show for a few minutes....with the volume on mute, of course.
    Hannah - too old even for me

    Cari - once you go black.....

    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
    Denver 22
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 27,864
    I turned on espn......stabby was there....I turned it off

    even if his commentary is razor sharp
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
    Denver 22
  • normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool.Posts: 31,147
    the worldwide leader in sports???

    image

    L-)
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 27,864
    norm said:

    the worldwide leader in sports???

    image

    L-)

    damn! sorry I missed that. was he congenial as usual?
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
    Denver 22
  • normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool.Posts: 31,147
    imalive said:

    norm said:

    the worldwide leader in sports???


    L-)

    damn! sorry I missed that. was he congenial as usual?
    you don't think i actually watch that abomination of a tv network, do ya?
  • normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool.Posts: 31,147
    worldwide leader in shit
    image
  • The JugglerThe Juggler Behind that bush over there.Posts: 44,092
    congrats to the kings!
    chinese-happy.jpg
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 27,864
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
    Denver 22
  • The JugglerThe Juggler Behind that bush over there.Posts: 44,092
    imalive said:
    all things being equal, bleacher report sucks just about as much as espn. i feel like 15 year old kids are writing those stories for their journalism class or something.
    chinese-happy.jpg
  • normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool.Posts: 31,147
    bleacher report was the first link i saw...doesn't change the fact that espn is a pile of burning diapers and used tampons
  • The JugglerThe Juggler Behind that bush over there.Posts: 44,092
    norm said:

    bleacher report was the first link i saw...doesn't change the fact that espn is a pile of burning diapers and used tampons

    you love bleacher report!
    chinese-happy.jpg
  • normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool.Posts: 31,147
    i do! whatever it is lol
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 27,864
    TMZ, not ESPN, breaks the story :rollseyes:
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
    Denver 22
  • normnorm I'm always home. I'm uncool.Posts: 31,147
    edited September 2014
    hey ray rice, if you wanna hit someone, hit chris berman
  • The JugglerThe Juggler Behind that bush over there.Posts: 44,092
    imalive said:

    TMZ, not ESPN, breaks the story :rollseyes:

    why didn't one of the guys on 'around the horn' break it?

    haha
    chinese-happy.jpg
  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 27,864
    OK, juggler......yesterday, I'm watching ATH....I saw the tail end of NFL Live (oh, by the way, a piece of shit) where they were talking about the tape supposedly sent to NFL HQ....ATH comes on and the ticker continues with the ray rice developments....in other words, I'm aware (but don't really care).

    10 minutes later, ESPN cuts away from my show for a special report type thing. fuck me! I move up a channel, looking for ATH, but that channel is showing the exact same fucking thing....even re-showing the "commentary" from the end of NFL Live.

    my ATH gone forever. ESPN sucks big dicks!
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
    Denver 22
  • The JugglerThe Juggler Behind that bush over there.Posts: 44,092
    imalive said:

    OK, juggler......yesterday, I'm watching ATH....I saw the tail end of NFL Live (oh, by the way, a piece of shit) where they were talking about the tape supposedly sent to NFL HQ....ATH comes on and the ticker continues with the ray rice developments....in other words, I'm aware (but don't really care).

    10 minutes later, ESPN cuts away from my show for a special report type thing. fuck me! I move up a channel, looking for ATH, but that channel is showing the exact same fucking thing....even re-showing the "commentary" from the end of NFL Live.

    my ATH gone forever. ESPN sucks big dicks!

    i'm willing to bet you watch more espn non sports programing than most people in here......around the horn and that genre in particular is such garbage, imo. just a bunch of hack sports writers yelling shit at each other. i hate that stuff.


    pti, i'll grant you, is half way decent. but i've watched maybe 20 minutes of that show in the last 5 years or so.
    chinese-happy.jpg
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