Back From Glacier & The Scariest Bear I Never Saw

eyedclaar

So, have you ever been awoken in the middle of a pitch-black moonless night in the backcountry of Glacier National Park with a grizzly bear making agitated forceful exhalations right outside your mesh-wall tent? No? Well, then you probably sleep better than I now do. Holy shit!!!

At least I have another story to write.

CROJAM95

No, but I cut Kirstie alley in line at the country buffet.... And I'm here to tell the tale

chadwick

well done, Sir.
i know you werent scared.
if the bear did attack i know you'd have hit him in the face.

Black Diamond

chadwick wrote:

well done, Sir.
i know you werent scared.
if the bear did attack i know you'd have hit him in the face.

With his severed hand...

chadwick

Black Diamond wrote:

chadwick wrote:

well done, Sir.
i know you werent scared.
if the bear did attack i know you'd have hit him in the face.

With his severed hand...

now stop it.
just stop it.
eyed is our super bear glacier mountain camping hero.
no severed hand.

eyedclaar

chadwick wrote:

well done, Sir.
i know you werent scared.
if the bear did attack i know you'd have hit him in the face.

Yeah, my heart pounding up in my throat was surely not a symptom of terror; it was just me getting ready to pounce on the big beast.

chadwick

eyedclaar wrote:

chadwick wrote:

well done, Sir.
i know you werent scared.
if the bear did attack i know you'd have hit him in the face.

Yeah, my heart pounding up in my throat was surely not a symptom of terror; it was just me getting ready to pounce on the big beast.

i understand that heartbeat.
happens to me everytime a butterfly comes near me.

bears and butterflies... bad news when agitated

Black Diamond

chadwick wrote:

Black Diamond wrote:

chadwick wrote:

well done, Sir.
i know you werent scared.
if the bear did attack i know you'd have hit him in the face.

With his severed hand...

now stop it.
just stop it.
eyed is our super bear glacier mountain camping hero.
no severed hand.

Strike that... With a Severed Bear Paw...

norm

eyedclaar wrote:

So, have you ever been awoken in the middle of a pitch-black moonless night in the backcountry of Glacier National Park with a grizzly bear making agitated forceful exhalations right outside your mesh-wall tent? No? Well, then you probably sleep better than I now do. Holy shit!!!

At least I have another story to write.

i have!!

'cept it wasn't a grizzly, it was a kitten and i wasn't in a tent, i was on a sofa and it wasn't making agitated exhalations, it was sleeping

but it scared the living shit out of me!!

81

i don't care what anybody says, if that bear would have started anything, i would have shot him in the face.

neilybabes86

81 wrote:

i don't care what anybody says, if that bear would have started anything, i would have shot him in the face.

2 bullets right in the head ..case closed

chadwick

shooting the bear is cheating and candy ass bullshit.
if you can't fight off a grizzly with a spear you are a little girl.
wrestling bear is a great activity.

eyedclaar

neilybabes86 wrote:

81 wrote:

i don't care what anybody says, if that bear would have started anything, i would have shot him in the face.

2 bullets right in the head ..case closed

In the same situation, you two would have to quit all the hysterical weeping before you could shoot anything. Grizzly country is no place for pansies...

Edit: Chad beat me to it. But he's right.

chadwick

eyedclaar wrote:

neilybabes86 wrote:

81 wrote:

i don't care what anybody says, if that bear would have started anything, i would have shot him in the face.

2 bullets right in the head ..case closed

In the same situation, you two would have to quit all the hysterical weeping before you could shoot anything. Grizzly country is no place for pansies...

Edit: Chad beat me to it. But he's right.

i have always been in love with eyed.

eyedclaar

chadwick wrote:

i have always been in love with eyed.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

In the parks you are absolutely supposed to report any encounters with lions, wolves, and bears, especially grizzlies in backcountry sites. Did I? Hell fucking no. It's the bear's forest and he doesn't need harrassed for being somewhere that he has every right to be. If I don't like it, I don't have to be there.

norm

eyedclaar wrote:

In the parks you are absolutely supposed to report any encounters with lions, wolves, and bears, especially grizzlies in backcountry sites. Did I? Hell fucking no. It's the bear's forest and he doesn't need harrassed for being somewhere that he has every right to be. If I don't like it, I don't have to be there.

FenwayFaithful

eyed was scared of a bear? I don't believe that for one minute. It makes for a better story if he says he was scared...

eyedclaar

FenwayFaithful wrote:

eyed was scared of a bear? I don't believe that for one minute. It makes for a better story if he says he was scared...

I am a natural born story teller.

What's funny though is that the bear was on his second pass by the tent (maybe 30 minutes after the first time) and getting even closer when I finally had to talk to it and convince it to move along. In the time between the two encounters, I was laying wide fucking awake with one hand on the bear spray listening intently for any kind of sound. My wife, on the other hand, went from terrifed to right back to sleep before it came back.

OH SHIT WE'RE ABOUT TO GET EATEN BY A GRIZZLY!!!! (30 seconds later - Snoooooooooze).

DangDang

eyedclaar wrote:

What's funny though is that the bear was on his second pass by the tent (maybe 30 minutes after the first time) and getting even closer when I finally had to talk to it and convince it to move along. In the time between the two encounters, I was laying wide fucking awake with one hand on the bear spray listening intently for any kind of sound. My wife, on the other hand, went from terrifed to right back to sleep before it came back.

OH SHIT WE'RE ABOUT TO GET EATEN BY A GRIZZLY!!!! (30 seconds later - Snoooooooooze).

Alright, this I gotta know:

I finally had to talk to it and convince it to move along

1) Please tell us, verbatim, what you said to the bear, and

2) Did he say anything back

Also

awake with one hand on the bear spray

3) What the #(*$&@ is "bear spray"?

and finally

My wife, on the other hand, went from terrifed to right back to sleep before it came back.

OH SHIT WE'RE ABOUT TO GET EATEN BY A GRIZZLY!!!! (30 seconds later - Snoooooooooze

4) Did you marry the right woman or what?!

Claireack

She might not have fallen back to sleep, she may have passed out in terror.

That would have been me, unconscious in a pool of bodily fluids.

chadwick

eyedclaar wrote:

chadwick wrote:

i have always been in love with eyed.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

In the parks you are absolutely supposed to report any encounters with lions, wolves, and bears, especially grizzlies in backcountry sites. Did I? Hell fucking no. It's the bear's forest and he doesn't need harrassed for being somewhere that he has every right to be. If I don't like it, I don't have to be there.

reporting siting is for shit and cum.

chadwick

eyedclaar wrote:

FenwayFaithful wrote:

eyed was scared of a bear? I don't believe that for one minute. It makes for a better story if he says he was scared...

I am a natural born story teller.

What's funny though is that the bear was on his second pass by the tent (maybe 30 minutes after the first time) and getting even closer when I finally had to talk to it and convince it to move along. In the time between the two encounters, I was laying wide fucking awake with one hand on the bear spray listening intently for any kind of sound. My wife, on the other hand, went from terrifed to right back to sleep before it came back.

OH SHIT WE'RE ABOUT TO GET EATEN BY A GRIZZLY!!!! (30 seconds later - Snoooooooooze).

and you my fine Sir are the best.
this story makes me erect.
i love savage men.

wait... mirror
:lolno: :evil:

unlost dogs

I'm scared just reading this. Yeah, maybe instead of my tent I'll sleep out of the back of the Element in upstate New York in a couple of weeks...

Can bears steal cars?

eyedclaar

DangDang wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

What's funny though is that the bear was on his second pass by the tent (maybe 30 minutes after the first time) and getting even closer when I finally had to talk to it and convince it to move along. In the time between the two encounters, I was laying wide fucking awake with one hand on the bear spray listening intently for any kind of sound. My wife, on the other hand, went from terrifed to right back to sleep before it came back.

OH SHIT WE'RE ABOUT TO GET EATEN BY A GRIZZLY!!!! (30 seconds later - Snoooooooooze).

Alright, this I gotta know:

I finally had to talk to it and convince it to move along

1) Please tell us, verbatim, what you said to the bear, and

2) Did he say anything back

Also

awake with one hand on the bear spray

3) What the #(*$&@ is "bear spray"?

and finally

My wife, on the other hand, went from terrifed to right back to sleep before it came back.

OH SHIT WE'RE ABOUT TO GET EATEN BY A GRIZZLY!!!! (30 seconds later - Snoooooooooze

4) Did you marry the right woman or what?!

Dangdang,

Before I get started on fielding your questions, I must first comment on your remarkable quoting skills. Very impressive. Now, on to the matter at hand.
1 & 2:
Bear: WHOOOF!
Eyed: (in as manly a voice as possible) Alright bear, that is close enough! We are not your dinner tonight. Time to move along.
Eyed’s wife: (in timid, church-mouse voice) Hey bear.
*Eyed looking at wife in the dark like “Is that all you got?”
Bear: WHOOOF! (then nothing, I never even heard a single footstep)
3:
Bear spray is a like mace… except for bears. Statistically a far better deterrent than guns.
4:
Yes!

eyedclaar

unlost dogs wrote:

I'm scared just reading this. Yeah, maybe instead of my tent I'll sleep out of the back of the Element in upstate New York in a couple of weeks...

Can bears steal cars?

Can bears steal cars? What kind of question is that? Of course, bears steal cars and car accessories...

chadwick

a man only needs 2 or 3 hrs of light rest sleep throughout the night to be good.
eyed can have finger on bear spray can and sleep.
good to go.
tent = steel shelter like a castle.
eyed woman is safe.

a grizzly once told me eyed has a large

chadwick

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBnGe9HDGBI
let's watch together

DangDang

eyedclaar wrote:

unlost dogs wrote:

I'm scared just reading this. Yeah, maybe instead of my tent I'll sleep out of the back of the Element in upstate New York in a couple of weeks...

Can bears steal cars?

Can bears steal cars? What kind of question is that? Of course, bears steal cars and car accessories...

I think he ate the car. And he's using that as a toothpick, oh I can't look.

DangDang

chadwick wrote:

a man only needs 2 or 3 hrs of light rest sleep throughout the night to be good.
eyed can have finger on bear spray can and sleep.
good to go.
tent = steel shelter like a castle.
eyed woman is safe.

a grizzly once told me eyed has a large

A large what? Video? Yes, I agree, 6 minutes is too long.

Rygar

chadwick wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

chadwick wrote:

well done, Sir.
i know you werent scared.
if the bear did attack i know you'd have hit him in the face.

Yeah, my heart pounding up in my throat was surely not a symptom of terror; it was just me getting ready to pounce on the big beast.

i understand that heartbeat.
happens to me everytime a butterfly comes near me.

bears and butterflies... bad news when agitated

You mean a double rainbow?

chadwick

Rygar wrote:

You mean a double rainbow?

the double rainbow guy.... what does it mean?