How is being gay a choice?

LikeAnOcean
LikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
edited August 2010 in A Moving Train
I didn't choose to be straight. I just am.

Unless people who think it's a choice are hiding in the closet themselves, I can't comprehend how anyone can choose which sex to be attracted to. It just happens.

I knew I liked women before I understood what sex was. By puberty it was like taking a hit from a drug every time a pretty girl walked into the room.

If you are trying to tell me it's a choice, you're essentially telling me that you are hiding in the closet yourself.

I didn't choose this. Gay people didn't choose that.
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Comments

  • Tenzing N.
    Tenzing N. Posts: 466
    I'm straight so i can't speak for any gay people but here are my theories:

    1. From a conservative christian perspective I think it has to do with the fact that admitting that someone could be gay from birth would also admit that god planned it that way and therefore he is OK with homosexuality. If it was a choice then free will was involved and god was taken out of the equation. Further, if it was a choice to begin with conceivably they could choose to go straight.

    2. From an historical standpoint- only recently has it become "socially acceptable" to be gay. Before that a person might be gay but for a vaiety of reasons would conceal that fact. Stating it as a choice infers that although they may be gay they have a choice to act on those feelings and make it known. Somehow the "choice" factor relates more to how they choose to express thier own sexuality. Either hide it or "flaunt" it.

    Of course I don't believe anyone "chooses" thier sexuality any more than they choose any other predisposition. I can't imagine ever wrestling with the fact that I am straight. It's so deeply ingrained in my persona that it could never have been a "choice". That too is what amazes me about people who claim this. When did they choose which sex they were attracted to? And if you are able to admit that someone could have the option of choosing in spite of your own lack of choice would it not further reinforce the fact they are somehow bilogically different and worthy of acceptance for such, regardless of one's personal values or choices?
  • matabele
    matabele Posts: 277
    Perhaps it is a persons cross they have to bare, just as alcohol and drugs are for others.
  • cajunkiwi
    cajunkiwi Posts: 984
    Tenzing N. wrote:
    I'm straight so i can't speak for any gay people but here are my theories:

    1. From a conservative christian perspective I think it has to do with the fact that admitting that someone could be gay from birth would also admit that god planned it that way and therefore he is OK with homosexuality. If it was a choice then free will was involved and god was taken out of the equation. Further, if it was a choice to begin with conceivably they could choose to go straight.

    2. From an historical standpoint- only recently has it become "socially acceptable" to be gay. Before that a person might be gay but for a vaiety of reasons would conceal that fact. Stating it as a choice infers that although they may be gay they have a choice to act on those feelings and make it known. Somehow the "choice" factor relates more to how they choose to express thier own sexuality. Either hide it or "flaunt" it.

    Of course I don't believe anyone "chooses" thier sexuality any more than they choose any other predisposition. I can't imagine ever wrestling with the fact that I am straight. It's so deeply ingrained in my persona that it could never have been a "choice". That too is what amazes me about people who claim this. When did they choose which sex they were attracted to? And if you are able to admit that someone could have the option of choosing in spite of your own lack of choice would it not further reinforce the fact they are somehow bilogically different and worthy of acceptance for such, regardless of one's personal values or choices?

    Given that the ancient Greeks had no problem with homosexuality, I'd say it's hardly "recently... socially acceptable." Plato was getting it on with young boys long before society did a 180 and decided it wasn't right. Maybe we're entering another age of enlightenment where people will wake up and realize who you choose to share your bed with doesn't determine whether or not you're a good person (and I say this as a happily married heterosexual man).
    And I listen for the voice inside my head... nothing. I'll do this one myself.
  • cajunkiwi
    cajunkiwi Posts: 984
    matabele wrote:
    Perhaps it is a persons cross they have to bare, just as alcohol and drugs are for others.

    Why is it a cross to be born though? Homosexuals don't have a say in their sexual preference any more than Caucasians get a say in their skin color or left-handed people get a say in which hand they naturally prefer. Saying it's a cross to bear makes it sound like something people should be ashamed of - which I don't think it is.
    And I listen for the voice inside my head... nothing. I'll do this one myself.
  • know1
    know1 Posts: 6,801
    I don't really see it as a black and white issue where you're either gay or straight. I think our human sexuality is far more complex than that. Everyone has likes and dislikes sexually and chooses to pursue them or not.
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

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  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    In the case of bisexuals, you may choose whether to follow a gay lifestyle or not, as did my close friend.
  • Mikeack
    Mikeack Posts: 562
    All I know is, homosexual men represent some of the nicest people I know compared to straight guys! I am straight but could have been born gay or born in a multitude of ways. Never has a gay guy try to attack me when very drunk, or ridicule me for being smaller than him...or whatever.
    Its a topic that does not even really need discussion as the answer is obvious (unless your an inbred Hick that is)
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  • matabele
    matabele Posts: 277
    cajunkiwi wrote:
    matabele wrote:
    Perhaps it is a persons cross they have to bare, just as alcohol and drugs are for others.

    Why is it a cross to be born though? Homosexuals don't have a say in their sexual preference any more than Caucasians get a say in their skin color or left-handed people get a say in which hand they naturally prefer. Saying it's a cross to bear makes it sound like something people should be ashamed of - which I don't think it is.
    There are two aspects to this, love and sex, the direction the world has headed sexually is worrying. We have had numerous warnings on the health front, I was at a dinner and was chatting with a gay guy, I said that aids was an indicator that what we are doing is wrong, he said no worries we've got a pill for it now.
    Why people have to have unnatural sex is the issue, I love you all but I'm not bending over!
  • cajunkiwi
    cajunkiwi Posts: 984
    matabele wrote:
    cajunkiwi wrote:
    matabele wrote:
    Perhaps it is a persons cross they have to bare, just as alcohol and drugs are for others.

    Why is it a cross to be born though? Homosexuals don't have a say in their sexual preference any more than Caucasians get a say in their skin color or left-handed people get a say in which hand they naturally prefer. Saying it's a cross to bear makes it sound like something people should be ashamed of - which I don't think it is.
    There are two aspects to this, love and sex, the direction the world has headed sexually is worrying. We have had numerous warnings on the health front, I was at a dinner and was chatting with a gay guy, I said that aids was an indicator that what we are doing is wrong, he said no worries we've got a pill for it now.
    Why people have to have unnatural sex is the issue, I love you all but I'm not bending over!

    It isn't only homosexual people having "unnatural sex" though. If you're against promiscuity, then there are plenty of straight people who have the same "cross to bear." Case and point, everyone you see on E! News :lol: I once knew a girl who considered herself very religious, and was "saving herself for marriage." Her loophole? As you put it, she bent over. Even straight people can get downright unnatural at times - I mean, how many other animals in the animal kingdom participate in oral sex?

    Though if anyone does think a pill will save them from AIDS... they're playing with fire.
    And I listen for the voice inside my head... nothing. I'll do this one myself.
  • LikeAnOcean
    LikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    matabele wrote:
    cajunkiwi wrote:
    matabele wrote:
    I was at a dinner and was chatting with a gay guy, I said that aids was an indicator that what we are doing is wrong, he said no worries we've got a pill for it now.
    Why people have to have unnatural sex is the issue, I love you all but I'm not bending over!

    There are 7 billion people in this world. In our 3 million or so years existence as humans we've gone from 1 billion to 7 billion people in the last 100 years alone.., Really the world is only designed to handle our numbers in the hundreds of thousands, but we invented agriculture.

    What the world needs is more gay people and diseases. Diseases are natures way of controlling population. We can fight them, but the more we fight them, the more dangerous they will get until we go extinct. It's a delicate balance, this nature is.

    Pretend we get rid of all the diseases. End starvation. End war. Live longer.. You think people are just going to collectively decide to stop having children because we've suddenly realized we are shoulder to shoulder?
  • Smellyman
    Smellyman Asia Posts: 4,528
    If it was a choice then a hetero could choose to be gay. right?

    I think we all know that is a choice nobody could make. gross....
  • Tenzing N.
    Tenzing N. Posts: 466
    I don't know where I read it but there was a study recently indicating that the stressors involved with overpopulation may increase the proclivity for homosexuality. It may be natures way of population control. I know that in nature there is at least one instance of gender change in the presence of an all female population.
  • matabele
    matabele Posts: 277
    ![/quote]

    It isn't only homosexual people having "unnatural sex" though. If you're against promiscuity, then there are plenty of straight people who have the same "cross to bear." Case and point, everyone you see on E! News :lol: I once knew a girl who considered herself very religious, and was "saving herself for marriage." Her loophole? As you put it, she bent over. Even straight people can get downright unnatural at times - I mean, how many other animals in the animal kingdom participate in oral sex?

    Though if anyone does think a pill will save them from AIDS... they're playing with fire.[/quote]

    My comments were not just directed at gay people, "the direction the world has headed sexually", sex like alcohol and drugs is a door through which evil can enter, if you let it.
  • facepollution
    facepollution Posts: 6,834
    My take on it....

    I think there may be natural predisposition, as some evidence suggests, but I think upbringing has a huge influence on sexuality, as it does every other aspect of personality. Of course all these outside influences affect us on a subconscious level, and thus I don't think anyone really makes a choice as such - but that's not to say anyone is born one particular way or the other.
  • markin ball
    markin ball Posts: 1,076
    "Everyone's a little queer. Why can't she be a little straight?"

    Rivers Cuomo
    "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win ."

    "With our thoughts we make the world"
  • fife
    fife Posts: 3,327
    Who cares, it is not until we realize that sexuality is just a label that means nothing we will remain were we are.

    What does gay mean to you? so many people don't really think about that questions
  • Mikeack
    Mikeack Posts: 562
    Someones sexuality only comes into question ONLY when considering if you would like to have sex with them surely? Otherwise they are just another person!
    I don't look at ALL WOMEN and think what it would be like to have sex with them?? As with gay men, I don't wonder about their sex life because I have never found men sexually arousing!
    There is another weird idea from straight men and that is that they are attractive to all gay men in the first place?? :lol:
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  • matabele
    matabele Posts: 277
    Better-man wrote:
    Someones sexuality only comes into question ONLY when considering if you would like to have sex with them surely? Otherwise they are just another person!
    I don't look at ALL WOMEN and think what it would be like to have sex with them?? As with gay men, I don't wonder about their sex life because I have never found men sexually arousing!
    There is another weird idea from straight men and that is that they are attractive to all gay men in the first place?? :lol:
    There is another aspect and that is gay people always seem to be trying too hard, everything always seems a little over the top. It is like they know what they are doing is wrong and they try to compensate with weird behaviour.
  • tinkerbell
    tinkerbell New Zealand Posts: 2,161
    matabele wrote:
    There is another aspect and that is gay people always seem to be trying too hard, everything always seems a little over the top. It is like they know what they are doing is wrong and they try to compensate with weird behaviour.

    Wow that is just ignorant! What about over the top straight feminists and over the top macho boxers that feel that punching someone till they are knocked unconscience is a sport????????

    That is just a stupid stereotype. I know plety of "normal" gay people who unless you asked them you would never know - and its none of my business to ask someone who they are attracted to sexually anyway!
    all you need is love, love is all you need
  • KDH12
    KDH12 Posts: 2,096
    comparing homosexuality to alcohol/drug abuse is laughable


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