The arrogance of the English speakers

nuffingman

In the Turkish Electricity company offices a Turkish and English guy were having a heated discussion about bill payments. "I want to pay by direct debit, this is a bloody stupid way to have to pay, having to come in here every month" said the English guy. Not surprisingly the Turk didn't have a clue what he was going on about. I struggled as the English oik was a Geordie from Newcassle and all Brits know that Geordies don't speak English either. It made me think of the number of times I've witnessed English speaking tourists just walk into a bar or shop and expect Johnny Foreigner to understand what his blathering on about.

It's called.... arrogance! A lot of us expect them to understand every thing we say without making any effort to learn a few of their phrases. If I worked in a bar and a Spanish guy said "Dos cervezas, por favor" I'd order him a cab and send him back to the airport. But no, the chances are he'd speak better English than me.

And this is where I feel sorry for them. It seems wherever we travel the natives in huge numbers speak English, except America of course. It's not just international financiers and business execs, it's waiters, shopkeepers, bus drivers that will babble away all day. English must be a nightmare to learn which is why I think George Bush gave up. We have numerous words that mean the same thing and words that end in the same letters that sound differently. Cough, through, bough, tough, thorough. Madness!!! But we expect them to know it and can't be bothered to learn any of their languages.

There is however a nation that won't kow tow to the arrogance of the English speakers. A nation whose natives will give you a stare that can freeze magma at 30 paces, a shrug that says "fuck off" and a pfff sound expelled with vigor. The FRENCH! When I've asked a French waiter if he speaks English I half expect " I do but am not sure I want to!" delivered with a puffed out chest and a glare that would shrivel me to the size of a newt. And quite rightly so. So I learned a few French phrases and received a mocking smile.

A few years ago we went on holiday to a lovely village about 40 miles south of Poitier. On the 3rd day a farmer cut down a load of long grass in the field behind the cottage. Uh oh! Within an hour my wife had a hay fever attack. Being a time of year when she doesn't suffer in England she hadn't brought any of her medicine cabinet so I nipped down to the chemists. "Bonjour Madame" I said to the chic, slim lady behind the counter (well all French women are like this), "Bonjour Monsieur" she said and then I was lost. "Hayfever tablets?" I said. French shrug, raised eyebrows. So, I went to the tub of flowers outside the shop, shoved my face into them, took a loud sniff, dramatically sneezed and ran my fingers down my face to theatrically show tears. "Ah!!!, babble, babble, french words, french words" she said and handed me a plain box of tablets. I had no idea what they were but they could have been a new treatment for hemorrhoids. Fortunately an hour after my wife took one she said "the hayfever had gone" and not "I've still got the hayfever but my arse feels better".

2 days later after buying more bread than you can shake a stick at I walked past the chemists, where the chic lady was talking outside to another lady... in perfect English. She gave me a knowing smile. I just hope she had enjoyed my mime performance.

Dontcha just love the French!

So when you go to foreign countries learn some of the lingo to show respect.
If you go into a French restaurant and are greeted by the head waiter looking at you as if you are a slug he has just found in his salad, smile and say "Va te faire foutre, enculé". He'll greet you like along lost brother.
And if you jump in a Spanish cab just smile and say "bésame el culo". You'll be friends for life.

BinauralJam

www.rosettastone.com $630.00 a language, when the price comes down, i'd like to learn Japanese.

nuffingman

KoMyAss wrote:

http://www.rosettastone.com $630.00 a language, when the price comes down, i'd like to learn Japanese.

$630 ??? There must be a cheaper way!

BinauralJam

i keep waiting, it was like 850 two years ago.

BinauralJam

When i learn Japanese, i can then watch Hentai without the subtitles!!! :twisted:

nuffingman

KoMyAss wrote:

When i learn Japanese, i can then watch Hentai without the subtitles!!! :twisted:

It'll be worth it then. It may be cheaper to buy an English version on DVD.

sabreleaf

I have been in 18 countries around the world. No I'm not a billionaire just in special military unit. Yes you can't expect people to just up and know English. But English is the international language and it amazed me all the people who depend on selling their goods on the streets can speak it perfect. It is hard to find any workers in markets around the world who do not speak english. Then it really is not amazing. Give people around the world some credit. They educate themselves to cater to the west who also have the most money to buy their goods.

BinauralJam

nuffingman wrote:

KoMyAss wrote:

When i learn Japanese, i can then watch Hentai without the subtitles!!! :twisted:

It'll be worth it then. It may be cheaper to buy an English version on DVD.

You make a good point, but i like the way those Japanese girls squeal.

nuffingman

sabreleaf wrote:

Give people around the world some credit. They educate themselves to cater to the west who also have the most money to buy their goods.

Yep hats off to them but they must get cheesed off when it's assumed they speak English.

polaris_x

3 things:

1. great post and totally agree
2. i learnt swahili just so i could buy some samosas on a train
3. this is way better than talking about shaving your armpits

mrvedderson

I believe there are ways on the truster internet that you can get the RosettaStone for a lot cheaper. Maybe even free.

BinauralJam

mrvedderson wrote:

I believe there are ways on the truster internet that you can get the RosettaStone for a lot cheaper. Maybe even free.

whats the truster internet?

nuffingman

polaris_x wrote:

3 things:


2. i learnt swahili just so i could buy some samosas on a train

Back_Pedal

mrvedderson wrote:

I believe there are ways on the truster internet that you can get the RosettaStone for a lot cheaper. Maybe even free.

There are lots of sites out there on Google that can at least get you started with the basics of languages, like phrases, pronunciation, etc. All you really have to do is type the language into Google with "basics" or "for beginners". It's quite awesome.

Who Princess

Awesome post. I completely agree. We Americans are the worst at expecting the rest of the world to accommodate us.

When I visited Germany, I thought my German was less than passable but people happily conversed with me and seemed to appreciate my efforts. Of course I also learned you can go a long way with "Bitte, sprechen Sie Englisch?"

nuffingman

whoprincess wrote:

Of course I also learned you can go a long way with "Bitte, sprechen Sie Englisch?"

That's about the limit of my German, plus Zwei Bier, bitte! Let's face it you need to know 2 beers please in all languages. :thumbup: I did once joke with my daughter who was learning German that "ich bin nicht" means "it's been stolen". Fortunately she got the joke.

brother123

i'd like to learn a few languages

nuffingman

brother123 wrote:

i'd like to learn a few languages

I'm trying to learn some Turkish at the moment. I've found a few sites that are good for general phrases that can be followed up with books etc at not too high a price.

dunkman

nuffingman wrote:

Let's face it you need to know 2 beers please in all languages. :thumbup: I did once joke with my daughter who was learning German that "ich bin nicht" means "it's been stolen". Fortunately she got the joke.

never a truer post has been posted... all men around the world have to learn to say 2 beers please in every language, it's part of becoming a man... that and the wanking.

'Mein pimmel ist gros' is pretty much the only german i know...

i did french in school, but i've forgotten most of it :oops: :oops: i would like to do a refresher course one day i think

soaks the pages

nuffingman wrote:

There is however a nation that won't kow tow to the arrogance of the English speakers. A nation whose natives will give you a stare that can freeze magma at 30 paces, a shrug that says "fuck off" and a pfff sound expelled with vigor. The FRENCH! When I've asked a French waiter if he speaks English I half expect " I do but am not sure I want to!" delivered with a puffed out chest and a glare that would shrivel me to the size of a newt. And quite rightly so. So I learned a few French phrases and received a mocking smile.

j’aime les françaises, et j’aime la France (et je suis americaine). l’arrogance, c’est à vous… vous avez dites c’est important à apprendre les langues des autres SAUF que le français. peut-être, ça c’est pourquoi les françaises ne vous parleront en anglais… parce que vous aviez parti du principe que les françaises doivent parler l’anglais.

nuffingman

dunkman wrote:

'Mein pimmel ist gros' is pretty much the only german i know...

You're a bad man