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I hate you

runawayrunaway Posts: 427
edited July 2010 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
He chose another
Love and hate intertwined
What would you do?
I thought I forgave him, but my
feelings prove that I haven't
Peace and love is what I believe
but when my heart is involved
all I can say is FUCK YOU
Once upon a time there was nothing
It has all been nothing
Do you understand?
Back on the bottle again
I don't care if you care, but I care
I'm killing myself for no fuckin' reason
MIND FUCK
Music is the universal language
What's better than a cigar? Ed with a sitar
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    oh hate not good for your soul, the one it hurts is you
    forgive and live
    and love yourself you are very lovable you know
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    "Hatred is a very underestimated emotion".
    ~ J. Morrison


    I happen to be feeling some hatred at moment too,... I don't like it at all.
    I know it will pass, so I'm just enjoying it for the time being.
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • runawayrunaway Posts: 427
    pandora wrote:
    oh hate not good for your soul, the one it hurts is you
    forgive and live
    and love yourself you are very lovable you know

    thanks for your words, I'm the problem that's what they tell me
    How in the fuck do I forigive?
    Excuse my language
    Music is the universal language
    What's better than a cigar? Ed with a sitar
  • runawayrunaway Posts: 427
    the wolf wrote:
    "Hatred is a very underestimated emotion".
    ~ J. Morrison


    I happen to be feeling some hatred at moment too,... I don't like it at all.
    I know it will pass, so I'm just enjoying it for the time being.

    I'm sorry about whatever is going on with your dog...
    my dog is now all that I have
    If I continue on this death path what will happen to him?
    He keeps me holding on....xx
    Music is the universal language
    What's better than a cigar? Ed with a sitar
  • twisted thoughtstwisted thoughts Posts: 4,377
    runaway wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    oh hate not good for your soul, the one it hurts is you
    forgive and live
    and love yourself you are very lovable you know

    thanks for your words, I'm the problem that's what they tell me
    How in the fuck do I forigive?
    Excuse my language

    for me...forgiving is like losing...
    your upset for a reason...thats y we hold grudges...there is good reason
    forgiving is basically saying your reason for being mad wasnt really that important
    when, it obviously was very important...to you
    i dont do well in the forgiving department
    ive been trying to teach myself to forget
    that seems to be the easier of the two
    forget about it, put it in the past
    let the person come around and prove their worth to you
    prove that they really care about YOU
    and not just care about what you CAN DO FOR THEM
    if they pass that test, then the deed can be truly forgotten
    and as time passes and the bond grows stronger
    hopefully, maybe someday, they will be forgiven
    Mansfield, MA - Jul 02, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 03, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 11, 2003; Boston, MA - Sep 29, 2004; Reading, PA - Oct 01, 2004; Hartford, CT - May 13, 2006; Boston, MA - May 24, 2006; Boston, MA - May 25, 2006; Hartford, CT - Jun 27, 2008; Mansfield, MA - Jun 28, 2008; Mansfield, MA - June 30, 2008; Hartford, CT - May 15, 2010; Boston, MA - May 17, 2010; [EV - Providence, RI - June 15, 2011; EV - Hartford, CT - June 18, 2011]; Worcester, MA - Oct. 15, 2013; Worcester, MA - Oct. 16, 2013; Hartford, CT - Oct. 25, 2013; Boston, MA -  August 5, 2016; Boston, MA - August 7, 2016...



  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    Forgiving is for our own healing, do not deny yourself that
    but never forget we learn by what we experience, that which we do and that which is done to us
  • runawayrunaway Posts: 427
    satans kitchen wrote:
    runaway wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    oh hate not good for your soul, the one it hurts is you
    forgive and live
    and love yourself you are very lovable you know

    thanks for your words, I'm the problem that's what they tell me
    How in the fuck do I forigive?
    Excuse my language

    for me...forgiving is like losing...
    your upset for a reason...thats y we hold grudges...there is good reason
    forgiving is basically saying your reason for being mad wasnt really that important
    when, it obviously was very important...to you
    i dont do well in the forgiving department
    ive been trying to teach myself to forget
    that seems to be the easier of the two
    forget about it, put it in the past
    let the person come around and prove their worth to you
    prove that they really care about YOU
    and not just care about what you CAN DO FOR THEM
    if they pass that test, then the deed can be truly forgotten
    and as time passes and the bond grows stronger
    hopefully, maybe someday, they will be forgiven

    thanx for your words...they mean a lot to me
    Music is the universal language
    What's better than a cigar? Ed with a sitar
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    pandora wrote:
    Forgiving is for our own healing, do not deny yourself that
    but never forget we learn by what we experience, that which we do and that which is done to us

    I agree. I can forgive,.. almost right away. Forgetting ? Not gonna happen. ;)
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • runawayrunaway Posts: 427
    pandora wrote:
    Forgiving is for our own healing, do not deny yourself that
    but never forget we learn by what we experience, that which we do and that which is done to us

    thank you...forgiving is easy....how do I handle my head? sorry to request so much from you
    Music is the universal language
    What's better than a cigar? Ed with a sitar
  • mikalinamikalina Posts: 7,206
    the wolf wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    Forgiving is for our own healing, do not deny yourself that
    but never forget we learn by what we experience, that which we do and that which is done to us

    I agree. I can forgive,.. almost right away. Forgetting ? Not gonna happen. ;)


    Forgetting is difficult.... then for some reason - getting past the issue(s) seems even more difficult.

    Untill it just eats you up inside..... and then you wonder -now what ??? ..... its a horrible circle.
    ********************************************************************************************* image
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    runaway wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    oh hate not good for your soul, the one it hurts is you
    forgive and live
    and love yourself you are very lovable you know

    thanks for your words, I'm the problem that's what they tell me
    How in the fuck do I forigive?
    Excuse my language

    Forgiving ourselves is the hardest, learning to love ourselves even harder,
    it takes time and years of experience.

    Its just this like Eddie says
    "To myself I... surrender
    To the one I'll never please"

    Find out what pleases you then treat others the same.
    Some won't get it, others will,
    concentrate your affection on those that do.
    The world is full of wonderful people,
    its just we all need someone to bring the best out in us.
  • mysticweedmysticweed Posts: 3,710
    runaway wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    Forgiving is for our own healing, do not deny yourself that
    but never forget we learn by what we experience, that which we do and that which is done to us

    thank you...forgiving is easy....how do I handle my head? sorry to request so much from you

    I try to take the approach that, in your case, it is his loss. Try feeling pity for his denying himself, well, YOU. Even though he brought all this about, he is racking up some bad karma, and he will end up hurting someday. Pity him for losing out on your love. Pitying him will help you rise above him. I agree with pandora that forgiveness is more beneficial to the forgiver and forgiveness may eventually come for you. But, don't forget - "living well is the best revenge"
    peace and comfort
    Gayle
    fuck 'em if they can't take a joke

    "what a long, strange trip it's been"
  • runawayrunaway Posts: 427
    the wolf wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    Forgiving is for our own healing, do not deny yourself that
    but never forget we learn by what we experience, that which we do and that which is done to us

    I agree. I can forgive,.. almost right away. Forgetting ? Not gonna happen. ;)

    Remembering something so horrific stays in my mind...
    I turn to negative things because I can't let go
    I have heard Let go and Let God....
    sorry but I can't do it right now
    and sorry if you don't believe
    1st ammendment
    Music is the universal language
    What's better than a cigar? Ed with a sitar
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    runaway wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    Forgiving is for our own healing, do not deny yourself that
    but never forget we learn by what we experience, that which we do and that which is done to us

    thank you...forgiving is easy....how do I handle my head? sorry to request so much from you
    I see you are 36, I was an absolute emotional mess at 36, 18 years ago.
    I found my way, you will too. Everything will be ok, believe this, your head will follow.
    Let me know how you are doing, or someone, there are friends here.
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    runaway wrote:
    the wolf wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    Forgiving is for our own healing, do not deny yourself that
    but never forget we learn by what we experience, that which we do and that which is done to us

    I agree. I can forgive,.. almost right away. Forgetting ? Not gonna happen. ;)

    Remembering something so horrific stays in my mind...
    I turn to negative things because I can't let go
    I have heard let go and Let God....
    sorry but I can't do it right now
    and sorry if you don't believe
    1st ammendment
    I know let go and let God but it is not the answer to all we face.
    Perhaps some can do this I was never able to.
    I was not conditioned as a child.
    God for me doesn't solve problems, answer wishes, maybe doesn't even listen.
    I thank God for the beauty that he has given me here.
    For love his greatest creation,
    and I try to be like Him, to love and not judge, to work towards unconditional giving.
    Here is where you find peace which helps you to change and work through your troubles.
    It is an answer you provide for yourself, from yourself through God.
    Letting go of the evil and horrific is complicated,
    you have to truly face it first or yes it will grow and bring negativity,
    you don't want to move on like this.
    You might need professional guidance or confrontation, I don't know.
    For me it was confronting the pain and betrayal
    but whatever it is to be happy you must do it to free yourself.
    You deserve to be happy.
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    runaway wrote:


    I have heard Let go and Let God....
    sorry but I can't do it right now
    and sorry if you don't believe
    1st ammendment

    Its all good, I believe. ;)
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • runawayrunaway Posts: 427
    thank you all for your words...my life seems like a cruel joke
    I can't handle shit
    Your words have actually helped me,
    I want to thank you from the deepest part
    of my heart
    thank you..xx
    Music is the universal language
    What's better than a cigar? Ed with a sitar
  • twisted thoughtstwisted thoughts Posts: 4,377
    runaway wrote:
    thank you all for your words...my life seems like a cruel joke
    I can't handle shit
    Your words have actually helped me,
    I want to thank you from the deepest part
    of my heart
    thank you..xx


    DONT RUNAWAY
    DONT RUNAWAY RUNAWAY RUNAWAY RUNAWAY
    DONT LET ME DOWN

    sorry..had to do it
    everything will fall into place....gotta trudge through the mud to get to where your going...but once you get there...it will be magnificent and well worth every bit of it - even the bad - as pandora said earlier...we are who we are because of our experiences...good or bad...they shape us....keep comin round these parts...you'll find someone to lift your spirits (ie: Pandora ;) )
    Mansfield, MA - Jul 02, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 03, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 11, 2003; Boston, MA - Sep 29, 2004; Reading, PA - Oct 01, 2004; Hartford, CT - May 13, 2006; Boston, MA - May 24, 2006; Boston, MA - May 25, 2006; Hartford, CT - Jun 27, 2008; Mansfield, MA - Jun 28, 2008; Mansfield, MA - June 30, 2008; Hartford, CT - May 15, 2010; Boston, MA - May 17, 2010; [EV - Providence, RI - June 15, 2011; EV - Hartford, CT - June 18, 2011]; Worcester, MA - Oct. 15, 2013; Worcester, MA - Oct. 16, 2013; Hartford, CT - Oct. 25, 2013; Boston, MA -  August 5, 2016; Boston, MA - August 7, 2016...



  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    satans kitchen wrote:
    runaway wrote:
    thank you all for your words...my life seems like a cruel joke
    I can't handle shit
    Your words have actually helped me,
    I want to thank you from the deepest part
    of my heart
    thank you..xx


    DONT RUNAWAY
    DONT RUNAWAY RUNAWAY RUNAWAY RUNAWAY
    DONT LET ME DOWN

    sorry..had to do it
    everything will fall into place....gotta trudge through the mud to get to where your going...but once you get there...it will be magnificent and well worth every bit of it - even the bad - as pandora said earlier...we are who we are because of our experiences...good or bad...they shape us....keep comin round these parts...you'll find someone to lift your spirits (ie: Pandora ;) )
    that was very sweet and uplifting :D
  • twisted thoughtstwisted thoughts Posts: 4,377
    pandora wrote:
    that was very sweet and uplifting :D

    what can i say...it happens sometimes









    tho not very often ;)
    Mansfield, MA - Jul 02, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 03, 2003; Mansfield, MA - Jul 11, 2003; Boston, MA - Sep 29, 2004; Reading, PA - Oct 01, 2004; Hartford, CT - May 13, 2006; Boston, MA - May 24, 2006; Boston, MA - May 25, 2006; Hartford, CT - Jun 27, 2008; Mansfield, MA - Jun 28, 2008; Mansfield, MA - June 30, 2008; Hartford, CT - May 15, 2010; Boston, MA - May 17, 2010; [EV - Providence, RI - June 15, 2011; EV - Hartford, CT - June 18, 2011]; Worcester, MA - Oct. 15, 2013; Worcester, MA - Oct. 16, 2013; Hartford, CT - Oct. 25, 2013; Boston, MA -  August 5, 2016; Boston, MA - August 7, 2016...



  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    satans kitchen wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    that was very sweet and uplifting :D

    what can i say...it happens sometimes









    tho not very often ;)
    mmmm..... its nice
  • runawayrunaway Posts: 427
    you women are cool...thanx for the advice
    I'll keep my eyes and ears open on this board
    Music is the universal language
    What's better than a cigar? Ed with a sitar
  • supersonicyearssupersonicyears Posts: 2,619
    pandora wrote:
    oh hate not good for your soul, the one it hurts is you
    forgive and live
    and love yourself you are very lovable you know
    Great advice Pandora. Hope everything goes well, and life gets a lot better for you runaway.
    "In the age of darkness
    want to be enlightened"
  • runawayrunaway Posts: 427
    Beach wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    oh hate not good for your soul, the one it hurts is you
    forgive and live
    and love yourself you are very lovable you know
    Great advice Pandora. Hope everything goes well, and life gets a lot better for you runaway.

    thank you
    Music is the universal language
    What's better than a cigar? Ed with a sitar
  • StillHereStillHere Posts: 7,795
    i'm late to this post
    and i don't know you runaway
    except from this board
    but i believe we are all
    together here and friends
    i hope that the words of at
    least one of us will help to soothe your soul
    we've all been there
    not knowing your particular situation
    i can only relate by my own life
    but i know what hurt and betrayal lead to
    and that is a life of loneliness
    you say that you cannot forgive or forget
    the forgiveness is for yourself
    in forgiving someone else's actions
    you also release yourself of any blame that you have taken upon yourself
    this i know to be so
    forgetting is not what its about
    you must remember...you must learn
    like pandi says from our mistakes and the mistakes of others
    it is how we grow
    be good to yourself
    love yourself...loving yourself can be harder than loving or hating anyone else in the universe
    but in learning to love yourself
    you bring self-worth
    and know you deserve better than what you've been dealt
    and in loving yourself you will create your own destiny
    i too am quite a bit older than yourself
    and i have been through much pain
    betrayal, death, loneliness, loss
    at the time i too felt as if there was nothing worse
    that could happen in my life
    that i was at the bottom
    and maybe i was
    and maybe the bottom is a good place
    to start
    looking up from
    look up dear runaway
    look up and look in
    see who you are
    not who others see you as
    and love who you are

    i see you mention that you have a dog
    your dog loves you unconditionally
    am i not right?
    and he/she loves you unconditionally
    because he sees that you are a good
    and just person worthy of
    his love and trust

    try to see yourself in the same light
    as your beloved companion, your dog
    he is right about you, you know

    hugs and more hugs
    peace, jo
    peace,
    jo

    http://www.Etsy.com/Shop/SimpleEarthCreations
    "How I choose to feel is how I am." ~ EV/MMc
    "Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends." ~ One Stab ~
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