the gap

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Comments

  • tremorstremors Posts: 8,051
    tomorrow when it all begins
    i wont be there to see it end
    i dont know where it all went wrong
    but i suspect it started at hi
    defeated ive given all i had
    the bloodletting satiated your vampire thirst
    tomorrow when it all begins
    stand beside me
    but i wont be there


    This stuff is getting deeper and deeper, darker and darker. I feel like saying 'good luck' though it may or may not be needed.

    This line - hit me like a punch

    'defeated ive given all i had'

    as did the last two
    Cancel my subscription to the Ressurection
    Send my credentials to the house of detention

    lettherecordsplay1x.gif?t=1377796878
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    im right
    youre wrong
    ive left you
    sucking on the godhead
    youll not learn
    nor will i
    ive left you
    yet you still sneak up from behind
    im wrong
    youre right
    im too illiterate
    to read the signs
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    reflected in the darkness
    mulitplied by sin
    everything you thought you were
    was just a place to begin
    you cant erase the history
    but you can build upon its death
    and when you stand and face it down
    only then will you begin
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • tremorstremors Posts: 8,051
    and when you stand and face it down
    only then will you begin
    Cancel my subscription to the Ressurection
    Send my credentials to the house of detention

    lettherecordsplay1x.gif?t=1377796878
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    yeah i think the last word need changing.


    reflected in the darkness
    mulitplied by sin
    everything you thought you were
    was just a place to begin
    you cant erase the history
    but you can build upon its death
    and when you stand and face it down
    only then will you be free
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • tremorstremors Posts: 8,051
    yeah i think the last word need changing.


    reflected in the darkness
    mulitplied by sin
    everything you thought you were
    was just a place to begin
    you cant erase the history
    but you can build upon its death
    and when you stand and face it down
    only then will you be free


    Actually I quoted it because it was may favourite line so far!! Kind of said everything I was feeling - so I didn't comment.... Sorry to disrupt your flow. Free is equally good. I loved it fine first time round tho!

    ps - I'm in awe of how you write often - hardly any changes, no punctuation - and yet almost every one of your verses hits home. Quite often is feels like 'consciousness' over poetry. Profound and powerful. Too good for comment usually
    Cancel my subscription to the Ressurection
    Send my credentials to the house of detention

    lettherecordsplay1x.gif?t=1377796878
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    sweep it all away
    stand on broken bones
    things said yesterday
    form the casket of your future
    sweep it all away
    reach down and hold the rib
    remember this
    where is it you came from
    but dont lose sight of
    where is it im going
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
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