Pearl Jam fans live

geckogecko Posts: 1,712
edited July 2010 in The Porch
Found this:
THE HIGH 5: PEARL JAM FANS LIVE

The team here at gremmie.net (goof & gremmie) have been fans of Pearl Jam since 1992. We’ve been to less than 35 shows combined. We only own a couple of posters between us. One of us has a kid. One is married. Neither of us own a vinyl copy of Benaroya Hall. Only one of us is a member of the TenClub. On average, I’d say we’re pretty normal Pearl Jam fans. Below you’ll find the top 5 Pearl Jam fans you’ll run into at a show.

The Elitist
If you’re reading this, there’s a chance you are this; if not explicitly, you’re one of their close cousins, such as The Collector (must have it all). The Elitist, at a show, is visibly perturbed the band doesn’t respond to his “Play Puzzles and Games!! ZOMG!!1″ sign. You may even see him pout. This, of course, is not only because the band didn’t validate his self-annointed sense of specialness but because he is certain “Puzzles and Games” is better than “Light Years”. And if you think otherwise, you’re wrong. Why are you wrong? Because The Elitist has been a fan longer than you and his TenClub number is 3,xxx; which he will undoubtedly namecheck as he “schools” you on the historical significance of the “Birdman Sessions” leak. He’s heard Pearl Jam songs you never knew existed. “Cold Concession”? Heard it, hated it. “2×4″? It’s shit. He even knows better than the band, though would never claim it outright. But if he could just get 5 minutes with Ed, he’d be able to explain what they’re doing wrong. He trolls Synergy and The Sky I Scrape forums looking for loopholes to exploit in people’s lazy online logic on topics like the pedal-board Mike uses or why the best Track 4 from any album is “Given to Fly”. The Elitist bugs us most because they’re exclusive and their opinions are grounded less in fact than deranged fiction. They’re Jack Black in High Fidelity with a sprinkle of Matt Dillon from Singles. We at gremmie.net try to take the wind out of their snobby sails by leveling the playing field and giving everyone access to as much Pearl Jam as possible. If we have it, so do you.

The Ten-er
Ten was Pearl Jam’s best album, or so proclaims the Ten-er. Having listened to nothing beyond Vitalogy (which was “the band’s last good album”), this archetype stares at you blankly when you ask if he’s heard of No Code. “No Code? Isn’t that their slow album?”. Slow indeed. He hopped on the bandwagon when Ten hit big, rode the populous wave until 1995, then skipped town on a horse named “Limp Bizkit“. The Ten-er is often accompanied by The Girlfriend (see below) which, at a show, can be fiercely irritating. Between them the three most common phrases you overhear are, “Play Betterman!”, “I don’t know this song, maybe it’s a new one.” (during Crown of Thorns), and “This is my favorite song off Ten!” (during MFC).

The Stoner
This type of fan was a Dead Head in the 60’s, a disco king in the 70’s, and a Metallica fan in the 80’s; dedicated, but primarily in it for the subterranean community. Going to a show requires a Santeria-esque series of rituals that include a circular cocktail of booze and drugs. Even before the first note is played, The Stoner is blitzed out of his mind. No slouch, they usually light up during the show too, blowing smoke in your face (though not purposely). Their brain functions in synapses, like a string of Christmas lights that blink every five minutes. So, communication is spotty in the event you want the guy to take it down a notch. Picture yourself speaking mostly in Latin, but every 10 words comes out in English. That’s how the Stoner hears you. Blah blah blah blah blah blah please stop blah blah blah blah blah blah choking…you get the idea.

The Family Man
The Family Man is a joy to sit next to insofar as his kid is happy to be there. Goof and gremmie have only had good experiences with this genre of fan. In fact, at MSG II in 2010 we had the pleasure of sitting right behind this(link) kid and his Dad, X. The kid’s name is Griffin, aged 12?, and his excitement was palpable. It was his first show and his Dad made good on bringing him. Their father-son comraderie was at once both totally awesome and poignant. The show was better because of this scene. The Family Man is also The Top of the 9th Deserter. Let me explain. As a parent (ask Goof), you can’t always stay until the end. With kids, you need to bail early to beat traffic and get home at a reasonable hour because the kid has school the next day and as the parent you’re cool, but not THAT cool. As such, you leave at the Top of the 9th (see also: after the first encore) in order to be responsible and set a good example. The familial demographic of Pearl Jam fans is slowly shifting; these guys will shortly become the majority. Cheers to The Family Man!

The Girlfriend
Fortunately neither goof or gremmie have dated The Girlfriend, but we’ve known people who have and we never had the heart to say anything. Indeed, that makes us enablers. The Girlfriend is perpetually bored and will spend the entire show cheeks to seat unless she hears the opening verse to either Elderly Woman, Betterman, or Last Kiss. Even then, she’ll slowly stand, barely excited, and tacitly sing along. If none of these songs are played before the first encore she’ll complain to her boyfriend (who really should have brought a fan) that she wants to leave. What may get a rise out of the The Girlfriend is if Black is played – because that song was written for her, and if only the whole world understood her pain the way Eddie did when he wrote Black, her inability to truly love wouldn’t be so misunderstood. If you’re in New York, this means she’ll want to go to La Esquina for a late dinner and then Pianos on the Lower East Side for a drink and “cool” music. Of note: The Girlfriend is always disproportionately better looking than the pile of chum she’s with.

For posterity, gremmie most closely resembles the Elitist subset called “The Collector” and Goof is “The Family Man” (though he did date a girl once who was “The Girlfriend” material). Also, the High 5 will be published once a month from here on in; as much fun as it is to conjure up ideas, neither goof nor gremmie consistently have the time to write the High 5 every 2 weeks without the quality slipping.

http://www.gremmie.net/?p=1449

I remember when Ten-er cut me off, telling me he is there just for the old stuff, and I was like, what! why? I didn't know that species before. :lol:
Or the guy behind me complaining: 'They never play Betterman'. After In My Tree! (elitist)
I was kind of elitist on my first show. Now I realise I was an ass. ;)
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • Grandmas JamGrandmas Jam Posts: 1,860
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, if you can;t laugh at yourself who can you laugh at. I'm not even gonna say which one I am, those of you who are lucky enough to know me personally defaintely know which one i fall into. Thanks man for a good laugh.
    Ryan Crooks insists upon himself
  • over bendsover bends Posts: 1,568
    I was going to say I'm an elitist but I don't know what 2x4 or Cold Concession are. :cry: :oops:
    Yield!

    3 Decibels Doubles the Volume

    2006
  • GmoneyGmoney Posts: 1,618
    Im an elitist for sure! and proud of it! 2x4 and cold concession were names floating around for possible tracks on avocado...
    Further back and forth a wave will break on me, today...
  • gndcd402gndcd402 Posts: 2,575
    Elitist: 99.5% of the American crowd on this board and in 10 Club. These are the guys who walk out on Even Flow because it's the cool thing to do. They are also ones who've been to 100s of shows and stand like a statue near the front.
  • Nitsua87Nitsua87 Posts: 95
    Very true. I've been an avid fan for years and traveled from Oklahoma to the Boston, Newark, and both MSG shows this year. Some dude sitting close to us at the Boston show asked us how many shows we had seen (I had only seen 2 up to the Boston show) and the guy started telling us about how he's been to 100+ shows. He asked me what songs I wanted to hear and, not hearing me request Sweet Lew, Out of My Mind, Black, Red, and Yellow, or Strangest Tribe, he looked at me like I was an idiot. What a Mass-hole.

    That being said, I would be considered the Elitist when talking to non-PJ fanatics. It's all relative, I guess...
  • Elbereth84Elbereth84 Posts: 253
    gndcd402 wrote:
    Elitist: 99.5% of the American crowd on this board and in 10 Club. These are the guys who walk out on Even Flow because it's the cool thing to do. They are also ones who've been to 100s of shows and stand like a statue near the front.

    I agree ... since I experienced both - European and US crowds - I can honestly say that US crowds are pretty lame compared to our crazy Euro crowds. I mean like the first 3 rows and 50% of the whole crowd in general are not moving at US concerts. It's a rock concert - not an opera! Guys, you gotta move!!! If you wanna watch a concert while relaxing in your seats, why don't you just stay at home and put in a DVD instead of paying like 70$ for tickets? ;)
  • The JugglerThe Juggler Posts: 49,578
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, if you can;t laugh at yourself who can you laugh at. I'm not even gonna say which one I am, those of you who are lucky enough to know me personally defaintely know which one i fall into. Thanks man for a good laugh.


    i know. you're the girlfriend.
    www.myspace.com
  • The funniest thing is that your post in and of itself is elitist, yet you do not seem to see it that way :o

    But of course, this is coming from the guy who has been a devoted fan since he was 19 years old ('92)...seen the band a dozen or so times, has taught himself every single PJ song on guitar, thoroughly enjoyed practically every single piece of music the band has released (with exception to Last Kiss) and who has been given truckloads of shit by every single white male under the age of thirty for the past 5 years or so for loving the best band in the world...I've even let my membership expire once when I was too broke to have a computer (or a TV or stereo for that matter) so my number is only 189,xxx..........

    Is it almost time for everyone to just get over it already?

    Your "point" in nonsense and does not matter in the real world...it's a fucking band, grow up.
    "No way to save someone who won't take the rope,and just lets go..."
  • thefin190thefin190 Posts: 918
    And that's why I wouldn't bring my girlfriend to a show. I am lucky to have a brother that likes Pearl Jam just as much as I do. He owes me though, since I hooked him up with tickets for the recent "Nudedragons" show. He is more of a Soundgarden/Mother Love Bone fan while I am more Pearl Jam.
    Member Number: 437xxx

    Pearl Jam:
    Key Arena - Seattle, WA - Sep 21, 2009
    Pacific Coliseum - Vancouver, BC - Sep 25, 2011
    Key Arena - Seattle, WA - Dec 6, 2013

    Eddie Vedder Solo:
    Benaroya Hall - Seattle, WA - Jul 15, 2011
  • toodeetoodee Posts: 89
    Oh dear, I've just realised I'm a stoner :oops: :lol:

    My apologies to anyone who has tolerated me while my brain "functions in synapses, like a string of Christmas lights that blink every five minutes" :oops: :lol:
  • FrankieGFrankieG Abingdon MD Posts: 9,100
    gecko wrote:
    He’s heard Pearl Jam songs you never knew existed. “Cold Concession”? Heard it, hated it. “2×4″? It’s shit.

    Are these real songs?????


    :shock: :P :lol:

    I enjoyed reading this, I think i am an Elitist with an asterisk to not knowing about the above quote. 8-)
    2003: 7/14 NJ ... 2006: 6/1 NJ, 6/3 NJ ... 2007: 8/5 IL ... 2008: 6/24 NY, 6/25 NY, 8/7 EV NJ ... 2009: 10/27 PA, 10/28 PA, 10/30 PA, 10/31 PA
    2010: 5/20 NY, 5/21 NY ... 2011: 6/21 EV NY, 9/3 WI, 9/4 WI ... 2012: 9/2 PA, 9/22 GA ... 2013: 10/18 NY, 10/19 NY, 10/21 PA, 10/22 PA, 10/27 MD
    2015: 9/23 NY, 9/26 NY ... 2016: 4/28 PA, 4/29 PA, 5/1 NY, 5/2 NY, 6/11 TN, 8/7 MA, 11/4 TOTD PA, 11/5 TOTD PA ... 2018: 8/10 WA
    2022: 9/14 NJ ... 2024: 5/28 WA, 9/7 PA, 9/9 PA ---- http://imgur.com/a/nk0s7
  • gremmiedotnetgremmiedotnet Posts: 345
    edited July 2010
    .
    Post edited by gremmiedotnet on
  • jester59388jester59388 Posts: 150
    I'm closest to the Family Man, although I think I'm the one who is always more excited to be there. Oh ... and I NEVER leave early. EVER. (So I guess I AM that cool!) ... :lol:
    a fool not a fucking god ....
  • little_wishlittle_wish England, The North Posts: 532
    I love this forum for posts just like this :-)
    20-04-2006 04-09-2006 05-09-2006 11-09-2006 16-09-2006 17-09-2006 18-06-2007 21-06-2007 26-06-2007 28-06-2007 17-08-2009 20-05-2010 21-05-2010

    "The live shows? Well, that's church on Sundays"
  • hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, if you can;t laugh at yourself who can you laugh at. I'm not even gonna say which one I am, those of you who are lucky enough to know me personally defaintely know which one i fall into. Thanks man for a good laugh.


    "Lucky enough" to know you, eh?
  • Grandmas JamGrandmas Jam Posts: 1,860
    S.O. wrote:
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, if you can;t laugh at yourself who can you laugh at. I'm not even gonna say which one I am, those of you who are lucky enough to know me personally defaintely know which one i fall into. Thanks man for a good laugh.


    "Lucky enough" to know you, eh?
    JEALOUS? I would be :lol:
    Ryan Crooks insists upon himself
  • Hey,

    We would appreciate it if you didn't copy and paste our work to other sites. We put a lot of time into writing the high 5. As such, it's meant to stay on gremmie.net. Now I am aware we have little ability to control this, but from one fan to another - at least going forward - please just post a link to our site. And if you're going to copy and paste, at least cite gremmie.net at the top so everyone knows where it's from.

    We're really glad you guys like it. Also, it would be totally cool if you could become a fan on Facebook. Just go to gremmie.net and check out the fanbox on the right hand side. What this does is it allows us get the word out about updates in the most efficient way possible.
  • ElusiveElusive Posts: 203
    The only thing the ladies get to be is the Girlfriend?! Lame.
    NY 4/17/94, NY 9/28/96,Camden 9/2/00, Philly 4/28/03,Camden 7/5/03, 7/6/03, MSG 7/8/03, 7/9/03, Holmdel 7/14/03, Reading 10/1/04, Camden 5/28/06, 6/1/06, 6/3/06, Lollapalooza 8/5/07, Camden 6/19/08, 6/20/08, MSG 6/24/08, 6/25/08, EV solo 8/5/08, 8/7/09,6/11/09,6/12/09, Chicago 8/24/09, Philly 10/27/09, 10/28/09, 10/30/09, Newark 5/18/10, MSG 5/20/10 & 5/21/10, EV Solo 6/21/11, 6/22/2016, PJ20, Brooklyn 10/18/13, 10/19/13, Philly 10/21/13, 10/22/13, Philly 4/28/2016, NYC
  • Elusive wrote:
    The only thing the ladies get to be is the Girlfriend?! Lame.
    Who said that? ;) Ladies can just as easily be the Elitist, the Stoner or the Ten-er. In fact, I'd wager a large portion of Ten-ers are female. I have no stats to back this up because the market for statistical Pearl Jam analysis doesn't exist. There's also no reason they can't be the Family Woman either.

    I used a male definite article in my write-up for consistency's sake. Also, it's been in my experience (20 or so shows) that the aforementioned fan types are overwhelmingly male.
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    Elusive wrote:
    The only thing the ladies get to be is the Girlfriend?! Lame.


    I agree, when I met my hub, he was the PJ freak (they need to put that fan in there...FREAK, knows every word to every song, but that's it; may occasionally be seen with a PJ shirt so faded and holey you wonder if it's a PJ shirt or not).
    So for his birthday I got him a 'holy grail' PJ gift, he wasn't so psyched about it (autographed CD framed with the concert tix from the same album tour). So I decided to become a fan so I could appreciate 'my' gift more...now I want to stay after the show so I can collect the cool stuff, drives him NUTS.
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • jester59388jester59388 Posts: 150
    Elusive wrote:
    The only thing the ladies get to be is the Girlfriend?! Lame.
    Who said that? ;) Ladies can just as easily be the Elitist, the Stoner or the Ten-er. In fact, I'd wager a large portion of Ten-ers are female. I have no stats to back this up because the market for statistical Pearl Jam analysis doesn't exist. There's also no reason they can't be the Family Woman either.

    I used a male definite article in my write-up for consistency's sake. Also, it's been in my experience (20 or so shows) that the aforementioned fan types are overwhelmingly male.

    I've seen many versions of "The Boyfriend" at shows. The woman is dancing and singing and doing all the right hand gestures; The Boyfriend, on the other hand, is standing with his arms crossed, his fingers tucked into his armpits, still as a statue, and looking like his only reason for being there is to hold her purse.
    a fool not a fucking god ....
  • PilatesDogARPilatesDogAR Posts: 124
    Nitsua87 wrote:
    Very true. I've been an avid fan for years and traveled from Oklahoma to the Boston, Newark, and both MSG shows this year. Some dude sitting close to us at the Boston show asked us how many shows we had seen (I had only seen 2 up to the Boston show) and the guy started telling us about how he's been to 100+ shows. He asked me what songs I wanted to hear and, not hearing me request Sweet Lew, Out of My Mind, Black, Red, and Yellow, or Strangest Tribe, he looked at me like I was an idiot. What a Mass-hole.

    That being said, I would be considered the Elitist when talking to non-PJ fanatics. It's all relative, I guess...

    I can tell you for certain you are an elitist....
    I wanna taste... everyone I see....

  • Elusive wrote:
    The only thing the ladies get to be is the Girlfriend?! Lame.
    Who said that? ;) Ladies can just as easily be the Elitist, the Stoner or the Ten-er. In fact, I'd wager a large portion of Ten-ers are female. I have no stats to back this up because the market for statistical Pearl Jam analysis doesn't exist. There's also no reason they can't be the Family Woman either.

    I used a male definite article in my write-up for consistency's sake. Also, it's been in my experience (20 or so shows) that the aforementioned fan types are overwhelmingly male.

    I've seen many versions of "The Boyfriend" at shows. The woman is dancing and singing and doing all the right hand gestures; The Boyfriend, on the other hand, is standing with his arms crossed, his fingers tucked into his armpits, still as a statue, and looking like his only reason for being there is to hold her purse.
    This is unreservedly true. Perhaps we should have gone with "The Significant Other".
  • Great Thread :D
  • jbohlen10jbohlen10 Posts: 11
    edited July 2010
    I agree there needs to be some sort of female category. Like, the girl who fell in love with pearl jam at age 12 who is now 29 and married to a guy that just doesn't get it ;)

    Maybe the "Fantasist" since thoughts of Ed are always floating through her brain, especially when her husband works weird hours and is asleep now so she can sit on the internet and google pics of Ed......

    oh, and I've been with my husband for almost nine years and never dragged him to a show. Usually I bring one of my girlfriends who loves pj as much as I do. I like to share my sweet sweet tenclub seats with those that actually care.
    Post edited by jbohlen10 on
  • GmoneyGmoney Posts: 1,618
    Elusive wrote:
    The only thing the ladies get to be is the Girlfriend?! Lame.
    Who said that? ;) Ladies can just as easily be the Elitist, the Stoner or the Ten-er. In fact, I'd wager a large portion of Ten-ers are female. I have no stats to back this up because the market for statistical Pearl Jam analysis doesn't exist. There's also no reason they can't be the Family Woman either.

    I used a male definite article in my write-up for consistency's sake. Also, it's been in my experience (20 or so shows) that the aforementioned fan types are overwhelmingly male.

    I've seen many versions of "The Boyfriend" at shows. The woman is dancing and singing and doing all the right hand gestures; The Boyfriend, on the other hand, is standing with his arms crossed, his fingers tucked into his armpits, still as a statue, and looking like his only reason for being there is to hold her purse.
    For sure. At the cleveland show there was a beautiful girl signing her heart out to every song going nutz and her boyfriend stood there like a statue. In his defense, he clearly wasnt a fan and still went and showed support for his gal. In my defense, im way cooler so look for me next time, hot girl singing at the cleveland show ;-)
    Further back and forth a wave will break on me, today...
  • geckogecko Posts: 1,712
    Hey,

    We would appreciate it if you didn't copy and paste our work to other sites. We put a lot of time into writing the high 5. As such, it's meant to stay on gremmie.net. Now I am aware we have little ability to control this, but from one fan to another - at least going forward - please just post a link to our site. And if you're going to copy and paste, at least cite gremmie.net at the top so everyone knows where it's from.

    We're really glad you guys like it. Also, it would be totally cool if you could become a fan on Facebook. Just go to gremmie.net and check out the fanbox on the right hand side. What this does is it allows us get the word out about updates in the most efficient way possible.

    No worry. Will not happen again.
  • gecko wrote:
    Hey,

    We would appreciate it if you didn't copy and paste our work to other sites. We put a lot of time into writing the high 5. As such, it's meant to stay on gremmie.net. Now I am aware we have little ability to control this, but from one fan to another - at least going forward - please just post a link to our site. And if you're going to copy and paste, at least cite gremmie.net at the top so everyone knows where it's from.

    We're really glad you guys like it. Also, it would be totally cool if you could become a fan on Facebook. Just go to gremmie.net and check out the fanbox on the right hand side. What this does is it allows us get the word out about updates in the most efficient way possible.

    No worry. Will not happen again.

    Thanks gecko. It's much appreciated. Please feel free to edit your first post to cite gremmie.net at the top. Thanks. And again, we're so glad you got a kick out of it.
  • ElusiveElusive Posts: 203
    Elusive wrote:
    The only thing the ladies get to be is the Girlfriend?! Lame.
    Who said that? ;) Ladies can just as easily be the Elitist, the Stoner or the Ten-er. In fact, I'd wager a large portion of Ten-ers are female. I have no stats to back this up because the market for statistical Pearl Jam analysis doesn't exist. There's also no reason they can't be the Family Woman either.

    I used a male definite article in my write-up for consistency's sake. Also, it's been in my experience (20 or so shows) that the aforementioned fan types are overwhelmingly male.


    I am merely pointing out that the use of He as the generic deliberately leaves us ladies out. At the PJ shows I have been to, I stand up and sing and dance....my boyfriend just drinks.
    NY 4/17/94, NY 9/28/96,Camden 9/2/00, Philly 4/28/03,Camden 7/5/03, 7/6/03, MSG 7/8/03, 7/9/03, Holmdel 7/14/03, Reading 10/1/04, Camden 5/28/06, 6/1/06, 6/3/06, Lollapalooza 8/5/07, Camden 6/19/08, 6/20/08, MSG 6/24/08, 6/25/08, EV solo 8/5/08, 8/7/09,6/11/09,6/12/09, Chicago 8/24/09, Philly 10/27/09, 10/28/09, 10/30/09, Newark 5/18/10, MSG 5/20/10 & 5/21/10, EV Solo 6/21/11, 6/22/2016, PJ20, Brooklyn 10/18/13, 10/19/13, Philly 10/21/13, 10/22/13, Philly 4/28/2016, NYC
  • thefin190thefin190 Posts: 918
    Elusive wrote:
    Elusive wrote:
    The only thing the ladies get to be is the Girlfriend?! Lame.
    Who said that? ;) Ladies can just as easily be the Elitist, the Stoner or the Ten-er. In fact, I'd wager a large portion of Ten-ers are female. I have no stats to back this up because the market for statistical Pearl Jam analysis doesn't exist. There's also no reason they can't be the Family Woman either.

    I used a male definite article in my write-up for consistency's sake. Also, it's been in my experience (20 or so shows) that the aforementioned fan types are overwhelmingly male.


    I am merely pointing out that the use of He as the generic deliberately leaves us ladies out. At the PJ shows I have been to, I stand up and sing and dance....my boyfriend just drinks.
    So your boyfriend is a reverse Girlfriend caricature then?
    Member Number: 437xxx

    Pearl Jam:
    Key Arena - Seattle, WA - Sep 21, 2009
    Pacific Coliseum - Vancouver, BC - Sep 25, 2011
    Key Arena - Seattle, WA - Dec 6, 2013

    Eddie Vedder Solo:
    Benaroya Hall - Seattle, WA - Jul 15, 2011
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