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You Know You're Too Old To Rock When...
A musician friend of mine who I used to see play in a few bands many years ago sent me this list ... it inspired my own list which follows it ... maybe you can add to either one of these lists:
YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO OLD TO PLAY GIGS WHEN:
• It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.
• Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.
• All your fans leave by 9:30 p..m.
• All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub.
• You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your set-list.
• Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie.
• You lost the directions to the gig.
• You need your glasses to see the amp settings.
• You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
• You feel like hell before the gig even starts.
• The waitress is your daughter!
• You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.
• Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.
• You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.
• You refuse to play without earplugs.
• You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30.
• You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.
• Your gig stool has a back.
• You're related to at least one member in the band.
• You don't let anyone sit in.
• You need a nap before the gig..
• After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
• During the breaks, you now go to the van to lie down.
• You prefer a music stand with a light
• You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.
• You hope the host's speech lasts forever
• You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or "cool" factor.
• You can remember seven different club names for the same location.
• You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it!
• Your date couldn't make it because she couldn't find a babysitter for the grandkids.
• The set list has to be in 20 point type.
• Your drug of choice is now coffee.
• It seems impossible to find stage shoes with decent arch support.
• You fart on stage and don't laugh.
You know you’re too old to GO to gigs when
You pre party on coffee so you’ll be able to stay awake for the entire show.
You make sure you wear the “comfy” shoes in case you have to stand for a long time.
You hope to hell the venue isn’t festival style seating so you can sit down.
You hate it when all those people up front push and shove so much…can’t they just stand there and enjoy the show?
You make sure you pack your ear plugs.
The bartender’s dad is one of your friends.
You don’t get carded, but you do ask for the senior citizen discount at the bar.
You secretly hope the band doesn’t come out for a second encore because you’re tired and want to go home!
You thought you remembered where the venue was but now you don’t recognize the neighborhood at all.
You saw at least one of the band members’ parents play.
You remember at least four other names for the venue you’re in.
You can remember seeing this band three nights in a row back in the day, but now you hope you can make it through this one gig.
Your date couldn't make it because she couldn't find a babysitter for the grandkids.
You can’t quite make out the individual band members’ faces because you forgot your glasses.
You actually consider not using the tickets you bought to the gig six months ago because your --- is acting up again.
You can’t fit into that shirt you have with a picture of the band on it anymore.
You used to remember every word to every song, but not so much anymore.
You hold up your cigarette lighter and request free bird and nobody laughs.
You don’t recover until Tuesday!
YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO OLD TO PLAY GIGS WHEN:
• It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.
• Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.
• All your fans leave by 9:30 p..m.
• All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub.
• You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your set-list.
• Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie.
• You lost the directions to the gig.
• You need your glasses to see the amp settings.
• You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
• You feel like hell before the gig even starts.
• The waitress is your daughter!
• You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.
• Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.
• You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.
• You refuse to play without earplugs.
• You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30.
• You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.
• Your gig stool has a back.
• You're related to at least one member in the band.
• You don't let anyone sit in.
• You need a nap before the gig..
• After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
• During the breaks, you now go to the van to lie down.
• You prefer a music stand with a light
• You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.
• You hope the host's speech lasts forever
• You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or "cool" factor.
• You can remember seven different club names for the same location.
• You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it!
• Your date couldn't make it because she couldn't find a babysitter for the grandkids.
• The set list has to be in 20 point type.
• Your drug of choice is now coffee.
• It seems impossible to find stage shoes with decent arch support.
• You fart on stage and don't laugh.
You know you’re too old to GO to gigs when
You pre party on coffee so you’ll be able to stay awake for the entire show.
You make sure you wear the “comfy” shoes in case you have to stand for a long time.
You hope to hell the venue isn’t festival style seating so you can sit down.
You hate it when all those people up front push and shove so much…can’t they just stand there and enjoy the show?
You make sure you pack your ear plugs.
The bartender’s dad is one of your friends.
You don’t get carded, but you do ask for the senior citizen discount at the bar.
You secretly hope the band doesn’t come out for a second encore because you’re tired and want to go home!
You thought you remembered where the venue was but now you don’t recognize the neighborhood at all.
You saw at least one of the band members’ parents play.
You remember at least four other names for the venue you’re in.
You can remember seeing this band three nights in a row back in the day, but now you hope you can make it through this one gig.
Your date couldn't make it because she couldn't find a babysitter for the grandkids.
You can’t quite make out the individual band members’ faces because you forgot your glasses.
You actually consider not using the tickets you bought to the gig six months ago because your --- is acting up again.
You can’t fit into that shirt you have with a picture of the band on it anymore.
You used to remember every word to every song, but not so much anymore.
You hold up your cigarette lighter and request free bird and nobody laughs.
You don’t recover until Tuesday!
I was alone and far away when I heard the band start playing!
...I was always a DeadHead, but when I first heard Winston Rodney, aka the Burning Spear, sing, I became a SpearHead too!
...I was always a DeadHead, but when I first heard Winston Rodney, aka the Burning Spear, sing, I became a SpearHead too!
Post edited by Unknown User on
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you rock out to the music instead of shooting youtube video or pictures throughout the entire fucking set
You cut back on beer so you won't have to pee during the set
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
Period.
I know, this post was meant as a joke, but it seems to be a running theme on here to make fun of fans who *gasp* are almost as old as the band!
I wear earplugs to every show, because I want to keep listening to music for the rest of my life. I wear old running shoes (400+ miles) to shows because I jump around like a maniac, and it's just stupid to do that in heels. Besides, I'm taller than a lot of the guys at the shows as it is, anyway.
I just got back from a race where I was beaten by a 72-year-old man who is at every race I attend, who kayaks, bikes, always has a smile on his face, and doesn't look a day over fifty. He is totally awesome, and I'm willing to bet that he is in better shape than 95 percent of people on here.
Aging sucks, but it happens to all of us, and it sure beats the alternative.
HA! Best one!!!!
...and to my friend curmudgeoness ... I hadn't noticed such a running theme here, but I certainly wouldn't have been part of it if I had ... as it happens, I'm quite a few years older than the OLDEST member of the band,
I don't wear earplugs, and I might be able to give that 72 year old guy a run for his money ... if he takes longer than about 62 minutes to run 10K I'll fuckin' smoke him ... and I'll do it barefoot in my Vibram Five Fingers ... but I digress ... I mainly just wanted to say there was no harm or mocking of old people meant by my original post!
...I was always a DeadHead, but when I first heard Winston Rodney, aka the Burning Spear, sing, I became a SpearHead too!
What he said.
Yes. The show is more important than any messages (unless there is a sick relative or something I guess).
I have to say I am a little defensive too about all of the "old" remarks about fans and the band. I'm pretty sure that I am in better shape and faster than most of the younger group I see at concerts. However, this is all in good fun I know. So, I will add.....
You have to buy the XL ladies tees at the shows because anything smaller makes you look like a stuffed sausage. So who wears those tiny things anyway? The bands' children?
i've followed your number three rule since i was 17, and i'm 26 now. that's a smart thing to do lol i hate having to piss during concerts so i refuse to drink.
You're drunk not because it's fun, but rather you're an alcoholic.