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Maybe you can help me

peacegirlpeacegirl Posts: 841
edited June 2010 in All Encompassing Trip
I've been seeing this guy for a couple months and Monday he tells me he doesn't think it's going to work. Totally out of nowhere.

Even though it's only been a couple of months we both feel (felt in his case maybe?) a real connection with each other. I have never instantly liked someone as much as I did him. And he told me that he doesn't usually get carried away with someone but he was with me. We have the same interests and we enjoy each others company and have been having a good time together.

I don't understand why he said that and he won't talk about it or explain himself. I am so confused. Especially since last week when I was out of town for a couple days he said he missed me when I came back and before I even left he was asking when we would see each other when I got back because he wanted to see me again as soon as possible.

Why would he do this?

I don't have many close friends so I don't really have anyone to talk to about this. I don't really know any of you so that kind of makes it easier to write all this but I know you are all good people and may have some thoughts or advice to lend. Plus it just feels good to get it out of my head.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Green CircleGreen Circle Posts: 5,192
    Hmmmmmm.... as much as it sucks to hear (read)
    maybe he found another while you were away?
    "...And I fight back in my mind. Never lets me be right.
    I got memories. I got shit so much it don't show."
  • intodeepintodeep Posts: 7,240
    I wish i could offer advice but Im not really good at that. Just wanted to say i'm sorry it is tough when someone doesn't feel the same way about you as you feel about them.

    The only thing i have learned is you can't control someone else's feelings and it seems to drive one crazy when they try to.

    Best of luck :(
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  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Theovl316 wrote:
    Hmmmmmm.... as much as it sucks to hear (read)
    maybe he found another while you were away?

    That's what I was thinking...
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  • peacegirlpeacegirl Posts: 841
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Theovl316 wrote:
    Hmmmmmm.... as much as it sucks to hear (read)
    maybe he found another while you were away?

    That's what I was thinking...

    that crossed my mind and if that's it why doesn't he just say so?
  • RygarRygar Posts: 8,689
    Theovl316 wrote:
    Hmmmmmm.... as much as it sucks to hear (read)
    maybe he found another while you were away?
    Possible. Also possible that maybe he just doesn't feel the connection that you (OP) do.
  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    peacegirl wrote:
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Theovl316 wrote:
    Hmmmmmm.... as much as it sucks to hear (read)
    maybe he found another while you were away?

    That's what I was thinking...

    that crossed my mind and if that's it why doesn't he just say so?

    Because, in his mind, that would be directly hurtful and I'm sure he still cares. It's much easier to think something just didn't work out than to know you were replaced so readily. All theory though; I have no idea.
    Chin up!
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  • Green CircleGreen Circle Posts: 5,192
    I agree...

    again, it know it sucks but let it go. You'll be better off and maybe him seeing you being all fine
    with it and acting "not hurt" maybe, just maybe..he'll re think it
    "...And I fight back in my mind. Never lets me be right.
    I got memories. I got shit so much it don't show."
  • LizardLizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    Or he could have a fear of being close to someone.
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • FenwayFaithfulFenwayFaithful Posts: 8,626
    Lizard wrote:
    Or he could have a fear of being close to someone.
    This is what I was thinking. I kinda have that too.
    "FF, I've heard the droning about the Sawx being the baby dolls. Yeah, I get it, you guys invented baseball and suffered forever. I get it." -JearlPam0925
  • BinauralJamBinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    he could have been hurt in the past and you said or did something which seemed small at the time but trigged the alarm's in his head. one way or the other though you gotta get him to talk about it.
  • peacegirlpeacegirl Posts: 841
    KO282453 wrote:
    one way or the other though you gotta get him to talk about it.

    this is really what I want the most...I'll deal with whatever the reason but I feel like I need to know what it is instead of having all kinds of shit running through my mind
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    peacegirl wrote:
    KO282453 wrote:
    one way or the other though you gotta get him to talk about it.

    this is really what I want the most...I'll deal with whatever the reason but I feel like I need to know what it is instead of having all kinds of shit running through my mind

    As said earlier, maybe he is jsut trying not to hurt your feelings...but I think he owes you an explanation...it's only fair, ya know?
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  • peacegirlpeacegirl Posts: 841
    dcfaithful wrote:
    peacegirl wrote:
    KO282453 wrote:
    one way or the other though you gotta get him to talk about it.

    this is really what I want the most...I'll deal with whatever the reason but I feel like I need to know what it is instead of having all kinds of shit running through my mind

    As said earlier, maybe he is jsut trying not to hurt your feelings...but I think he owes you an explanation...it's only fair, ya know?

    Thank you!
  • FenwayFaithfulFenwayFaithful Posts: 8,626
    Yeah, the whole thing may not be salvageable at this point, but you deserve an explanation and some closure.

    Can't believe I'm giving dating advice...I'm the last person to be asking about this stuff. :lol:
    "FF, I've heard the droning about the Sawx being the baby dolls. Yeah, I get it, you guys invented baseball and suffered forever. I get it." -JearlPam0925
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    If this is a special more than a casual friendship type of connection and if at any time both he and you thought perhaps of a future together he owes you an explanation. Ask him to be honest and then also share how you feel. There's so many things that could be going on, he could be afraid, unsure, no longer interested, met someone else he wants to get to know or he could even be feeling you out to see how you feel. There's some games people play you know but cut through them and get real.
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    FenwayFaithful wrote:
    Can't believe I'm giving dating advice...I'm the last person to be asking about this stuff. :lol:

    If anybody sees what we have said in the "beer thirty" thread, we'll both be disqualified from giving any kind of dating advice. EVER.
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
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