Insanity - Is it you or me?
DreamOfAngels
Posts: 829
Insanity - same behavior but expecting different results...
How it takes such patience and strength to watch and support people as they attempt to run through a wall, over and over again, when you can see the door is right around the corner. Understandably, they become frustrated. Many times, they blame their pain and frustration on the wall. You can provide ideas for how they might be in less pain if they would back up and look for the door but you can't make them... so every time they hit the wall, you listen to their cry, you suggest they look for the door, they don't, and you say to yourself - maybe next time... maybe next time they will try a different behavior...
You can't make someone see what they aren't ready to see so they can save themselves but you can continue to support them while they exist and hope that someday... they will be ready and able.
Sometimes, though, I become weak. I lose hope. I start to question...I question whether I should do this for eternity... at some point... do I walk away? Am I the insane one for hoping someday it will be different? Am I the insane one for continuing to offer support and expecting, or hoping, for different results?
You could really apply this to many facets of life. We continue to fight for what we believe in - hoping someday it will make a difference. Sometimes though.. you get weak and have to stop and catch your breath before you start fighting again. This form is not typically considered insanity.
How it takes such patience and strength to watch and support people as they attempt to run through a wall, over and over again, when you can see the door is right around the corner. Understandably, they become frustrated. Many times, they blame their pain and frustration on the wall. You can provide ideas for how they might be in less pain if they would back up and look for the door but you can't make them... so every time they hit the wall, you listen to their cry, you suggest they look for the door, they don't, and you say to yourself - maybe next time... maybe next time they will try a different behavior...
You can't make someone see what they aren't ready to see so they can save themselves but you can continue to support them while they exist and hope that someday... they will be ready and able.
Sometimes, though, I become weak. I lose hope. I start to question...I question whether I should do this for eternity... at some point... do I walk away? Am I the insane one for hoping someday it will be different? Am I the insane one for continuing to offer support and expecting, or hoping, for different results?
You could really apply this to many facets of life. We continue to fight for what we believe in - hoping someday it will make a difference. Sometimes though.. you get weak and have to stop and catch your breath before you start fighting again. This form is not typically considered insanity.
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
even for walls and doorways
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Maybe we are supposed to walk through walls and I'm the one that needs to step back. If that wasn't your point, well, that's what I got out of it anyway.
One question remains though... why is it insanity in some cases and pure hope and optimism in others? Does that question make sense?
Take a child who is learning to ride a bike. They are afraid so they do it with their eyes closed. Are they insane for continuing to try to ride their bike with their eyes closed and expecting they won't crash? We support them each time they fall and encourage them to open their eyes the next time. They fall again. They blame the bike. They blame the road. They blame the cat in the road. They blame you. They try again. You continue to support them. At some point though, you get weak. You grow tired of wiping the tears, washing the wounds, applying the ice. When do you stop feeding words of encouragement? When do you decide to let them to crash without offering support by listening?
Then again... maybe I'm the one insane for not seeing the freedom that exists in riding with your eyes closed... I see the benefits of riding with my eyes open (i.e. I don't crash). I am happy not crashing. I think that's the key in my thoughts on this is that the other person is clearly frustrated, angered, in so much pain, unhappy... and unwilling or unable to do anything about it.
I don't know what experience you are having that has made you post this but I "hear" what you are saying.
I am relating it to an experience of my own and what you have written has made me think deep and cry (no worries ... everything is making me cry these days) ... especially the lines
"I question whether I should do this for eternity... at some point... do I walk away? Am I the insane one for hoping someday it will be different? Am I the insane one for continuing to offer support and expecting, or hoping, for different results?" ...
I so want my situation to be resolved I am scared of losing it completely but what I am most scared of is the loneliness ... those lines you wrote had me thinking ... could I have lived with the difficulties for eternity? ... I thought love would solve/heal/change the stuff that wasn't quite right ... but if I am honest although these days are filled with pain your words have made me admit that in time it will have probably been for the best ... I need us to be equally healthy and if we can't I need to insure my own health ... I can't be responsible for someone else's health even although I want to pick the both of us run to a safe haven and heal ... each day without that opportunity is a day further away from eternity but closer to future hope.
Thank you for posting
With gratitude and hope
XXOOXX
Do some people that have been habitually abused believe that some day the abuser will stop? Does the abuser typically stop after saying they want to stop? That's what I'm talking about... the hope and optimism that the abuser will stop vs. reality which says it's not likely. Is a person deemed to be insane to stay - or - are they a hidden angel for remaining supportive and patient in such a difficult situation?
For any of you that know me - this post should NOT be interpreted as "I'm being abused". I'm having a terrible time finding the words to describe what I'm trying to ask or explain.. I use pictures a lot.. maybe its time to write a poem instead of trying to articulate in a paragraph.
Stargirl69 - I've read your post multiple times. I can read where you might be going in different ways. Are you remaining supportive and hopeful but doing so with detached arms so that you remain healthy (a step away from eternal pain)? or Are you turning to walk way so you can remain healthy (a step away from eternal pain)?
Take care!
Working out well for me.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
I'm pretty sure it is,... but I'm okay with that.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
If you were dissatisfied with it, well then... that would require further analysis... thus the subject of this post.