I don't understand girls...

FirstExit

Really. I just don't. And I do mean girls, not women. I understand women perfectly. As a matter of fact, I respect a lot of women. I wish I wasn't 19; I wish I was more like 35 or older so I could actually date a woman. But no, for the next 15 or so years I'm stuck with...you guessed it...girls.

See the problem with girls is that they're focusing on the things in life that don't matter. Unrequited love? Holy shit everyone deals with that at some point in their life. No one really cares though because it's all gonna pass on and in less than 6 months you'll be FINE. And you know what irks me even more? How some girls think that when they go through guys that "hurt" them, they're STRONGER or something like that? Bitches please. Stronger? I'll show you strong. When I rack 495 lbs of pure iron on my back and squat that shit ATG for a clean set of 5 THAT'S strong. Come at me bros.

Let me tell you a story about this girl I once dated. I mean, real REAL good looking girl. She was smart, sexy, funny, what more could a guy want right? Well anyway, when I started dating her, my life took a complete 180. You see, at the time I was living in the western area of Philadelphia, where I had been born and lived my entire life prior (I was about 16). When I first saw her, I was shooting some basketball after school one day, when her and her girls stumbled onto the court. We hit it off IMMEDIATELY, and were dating the next week. So, about a week later I'm playin bball again, when this gang comes up to me and boys on the court. I could tell they were looking for trouble, because they were notorious for making a ruckus in our neighborhood back then. Well, I got into a little brawl with them over this girl. Shocking right? You always get into fights over girls, of all things.

Well, this fight really scared my girl, but it also scared my mom. My mom told me that I had to break up with my girlfriend. This wasn't even the worst news she told me; she also said I had to move to the West Coast and live with my Aunt and Uncle in Bel-Air. Bel-Air?? I had never even heard of that place, I don't know what the hell to think. So after saying my goodbyes, I rode first-class across the country to good old California. When I got off the plane, I had NO clue how to get to my aunt and uncles house, so I whistled for a cab. And guess what the fuck comes up to me? This fuckin dude with pink fuzzy dice in his mirror and a license plate that reads "Fresh". I was like, 'oh man is this what I'm in for out here'? I guess it was. I just said fuck it man, I'm about to go to my new home in bel-air.

By this time, it was about 7 or 8 pm. I waved the cab driver off, and took in the first glimpse of my new home, my new family, and my new life.

And that's why I don't understand girls.

CantKeepMeHere

BinauralJam

you had up to belair, nice!

keeponrockin

Well done Sire.

tvismyfriend

I think this has already been done on here.

arq

LMAO

dimitrispearljam

arq wrote:

LMAO

chadwick

FirstExit wrote:

Really. I just don't. And I do mean girls, not women. I understand women perfectly. As a matter of fact, I respect a lot of women. I wish I wasn't 19; I wish I was more like 35 or older so I could actually date a woman. But no, for the next 15 or so years I'm stuck with...you guessed it...girls.

admittedly, i read as far as this paragraph and read no further. older women than yourself are indeed fantastic as you already know. go get 'em tiger. that's all i can say.

i myself have always enjoyed gals older than myself.
it is with no doubt, badass.

one time when i was 16.5 years old i had a g/f who was 204 years old.
she had zero teeth.
it was indeed incredible.

btw,,, they're all a pain in the ass.

LikeAnOpeningBandForTheSun

i think i heard this before. did you have a cousin named Carl or Carlton or something like that?

chadwick

MrSmith wrote:

i think i heard this before. did you have a cousin named Carl or Carlton or something like that?

carlton
isn't carlton on the list of names that george carlin despises?

chadwick

chadwick wrote:

MrSmith wrote:

i think i heard this before. did you have a cousin named Carl or Carlton or something like that?

carlton
isn't carlton on the list of names that george carlin despises?

i was wrong, it is Todd & Tucker and a few others.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo8CrY_ZfFk

FirstExit

chadwick wrote:

chadwick wrote:

MrSmith wrote:

i think i heard this before. did you have a cousin named Carl or Carlton or something like that?

carlton
isn't carlton on the list of names that george carlin despises?

i was wrong, it is Todd & Tucker and a few others.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo8CrY_ZfFk

RIP, greatest comic of all time.

keeponrockin

chadwick wrote:

chadwick wrote:

MrSmith wrote:

i think i heard this before. did you have a cousin named Carl or Carlton or something like that?

carlton
isn't carlton on the list of names that george carlin despises?

i was wrong, it is Todd & Tucker and a few others.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo8CrY_ZfFk

And Kyle

FirstExit

Memorial Day bump

FenwayFaithful

FirstExit wrote:

Too funny.

Dissidentman

FenwayFaithful wrote:

FirstExit wrote:

Too funny.

Barry Bond's left his corn flakes on the porch again...

PearlOfAGirl

Dissidentman wrote:

FenwayFaithful wrote:

FirstExit wrote:

Too funny.

Barry Bond's left his corn flakes on the porch again...

good one!