My story from last week with a little Pearl Jam connection
Kertokovich
Posts: 193
Happy Mothers Day to all you moms out there. This is my true story from last week, it has a touch of Pearl Jam to it. It is funny how songs and certain lines from those songs hit you at different points in your life. This story is really about the good moms out there and what they teach us. Here's to you!
Bebo’s Final Bow
It all begins with a call on Friday, April 23, 2010, upon arriving at work at the Parker County Courthouse. My mother phoned me telling me that my grandmother, Betty "Bebo" Hamilton who had been on hospice with lung cancer, woke up with severe chest pains.
I was told they had started her on what they call a "comfort pack", nothing more than very powerful narcotics. We had known this time was coming as Bebo's physical stature had deteriorated quite a bit over the past few months. I was in the middle of several big projects at work and had a vacation scheduled for later in the next week.
I stuck it out for a few hours, but by noon I felt I needed to go see my grandmother. I honestly did not know that would be our last visit where we were able to speak to each other verbally. I arrived at her house in Mineral Wells around 1 p.m.
With five doses of medicine in her, she was not in as much pain, or at least was not showing it too much. We had a wonderful visit. She knew how much I loved her and I knew, as I always have, how much that love was reciprocated.
When I was younger I would spend the summers with her and my Papa, who passed away in 2005. She always called me Jojo. While visiting with her in her frail and medicated state at one point she misunderstood me and she proceeded to tell me that I was silly. Whatever I said it must have reminded her of the days 30 years ago, when I must have thought myself to be a child comedian.
"You have always been my silly little Jojo," she added.
She began to tire and soon went back to bed to rest.
On Sunday, April 25 at 1:59 p.m. she took her last labored breath with my mom and my wife holding her hands. It was a moment we knew was soon to arrive but the finality of it all was no less devastating.
She was a wonderful grandmother to me and will always hold a special place in my heart.
Her wishes were for a graveside service to be held as soon as possible after her death. We followed those wishes and she was buried on Tuesday, April 27, leaving behind her two remaining children, my mother and my uncle, three of us grandchildren, two sisters and several other family members and friends.
My family encouraged me to continue with the planned vacation which was a golf weekend getaway with several of my high school and college buddies. It was the fourth year of the event and several of those friends attending knew my grandmother. We dedicated the weekend to Bebo.
Upon arriving at the lake house near Tyler, Texas where we were all staying on the night of Thursday, April 29, we all welcomed each other and shared a good time. For me, I had not seen any of these guys since April of 2009. One of my best friends, Brian Howarth pulled out a plastic sack full of used golf balls he had found and told us we could look through them and take any we wanted.
I picked through and notice a Maxfli ball. When I started golfing in 5th grade that was the kind of ball I used. You see my Papa owned a Dunlop Tire Store in Mineral Wells and Dunlop made Maxfli golf balls, which were given to their tire dealerships. So I always had plenty of those kinds of golf balls.
On the other side of the ball a previous user I suppose, had written a large "B" on the ball. Of course it was just a typical mark of a golf ball, probably the initial of the last golfer to use it. To me though, the combination of finding a Maxfli ball marked with a large "B" written with a blue marker was the sign I needed to know that would be the ball I would start off with the next morning.
We arrived at The Cascades golf course in Tyler the next morning and I started off using the ball like I said I would. With three children and my wife golf is not something I do very often anymore. In fact this annual vacation is usually the only golf I play year round.
The course was beautiful and had several holes where water came into play. On the eighth hole I mentioned something to my friend who had given me the ball.
"This 'Bebo' ball must be giving me some luck," I said. "I can't believe I have not lost it yet."
We arrive at the next hole. Hole #9 at The Cascades is a Par 3, and from the tees we were playing from I had 166 yards to the green.
I decided to use my 8 iron for the shot which was a bit downhill. To be honest, I did not make perfect contact with the ball. I hit it a little thin which resulted in a low line drive. However the ball was going straight for the flag and two seconds after I hit it, I said to my partners that I thought it was going to go in the hole.
The ball bounced and bounced and rolled and continued to roll, for what seemed like about 30 seconds. It was probably only 10 seconds at most. It looked to me like it was going to stop on the front edge of the green but it kept rolling and followed the contour of the green giving it a soft curve to the left.
With our jaws hanging in disbelief we all watched the ball drop into the cup. We went crazy and I am sure we annoyed several golfers within earshot as we erupted in a celebration.
It was my first hole in one and the first one witnessed by my two friends who were my golf partners that day. I could not believe my fortune, but I knew that it was more than just fortune. It was something special, just like my grandmother, and I could not help but feel that she had guided the ball, the ball I had dedicated in her memory, the ball that had a big blue "B" on it, into the hole.
Let me tell you something, golfing can become very difficult immediately after a hole in one. I should have probably put the ball in my bag as a keepsake but I was so flustered and excited I went to the next tee and proceeded to slice the ball right into the water. The ball, just like my grandmother, was here for an extraordinary moment and then in what seems like a flash was gone.
Still the memory remains, just as the memory of my grandmother remains. It was really a profound moment and great example of here today and gone tomorrow. We never know what lies ahead as we travel through life. Moments good and bad are fleeting and memories tend to fade, but those we love are never really gone. They are carried on in our heart.
It seems so simple to remind ourselves and others how sacred life is and how we should not take it for granted, though we do. One would think it should be common knowledge that we should enjoy every moment and cherish the memories and honor our family, friends and loved ones, but sometimes we slip and get caught up in our own personal complaints and lose focus of what life is all about.
Even after she had left this world my grandmother had one final lesson for me. Enjoy the moments we have as they are fleeting. Have fun, be silly and most importantly love each other, respect each other and enjoy life while you have it. Cherish your memories and make new ones and most of all do good and do your best to make a difference.
Finally listen closely to those who have passed. Their voices can still be heard in thoughts and actions. They can guide you in their own way.
To me Bebo took her final bow when that ball splashed in the water. She gave me a week like no other and I know that our goodbye was just goodbye for now.
Happy Mothers Day to you mom and to my sweet wife Anna. You embolden everything good about Bebo to all those you touch in your lives. I love you.
Bebo’s Final Bow
It all begins with a call on Friday, April 23, 2010, upon arriving at work at the Parker County Courthouse. My mother phoned me telling me that my grandmother, Betty "Bebo" Hamilton who had been on hospice with lung cancer, woke up with severe chest pains.
I was told they had started her on what they call a "comfort pack", nothing more than very powerful narcotics. We had known this time was coming as Bebo's physical stature had deteriorated quite a bit over the past few months. I was in the middle of several big projects at work and had a vacation scheduled for later in the next week.
I stuck it out for a few hours, but by noon I felt I needed to go see my grandmother. I honestly did not know that would be our last visit where we were able to speak to each other verbally. I arrived at her house in Mineral Wells around 1 p.m.
With five doses of medicine in her, she was not in as much pain, or at least was not showing it too much. We had a wonderful visit. She knew how much I loved her and I knew, as I always have, how much that love was reciprocated.
When I was younger I would spend the summers with her and my Papa, who passed away in 2005. She always called me Jojo. While visiting with her in her frail and medicated state at one point she misunderstood me and she proceeded to tell me that I was silly. Whatever I said it must have reminded her of the days 30 years ago, when I must have thought myself to be a child comedian.
"You have always been my silly little Jojo," she added.
She began to tire and soon went back to bed to rest.
On Sunday, April 25 at 1:59 p.m. she took her last labored breath with my mom and my wife holding her hands. It was a moment we knew was soon to arrive but the finality of it all was no less devastating.
She was a wonderful grandmother to me and will always hold a special place in my heart.
Her wishes were for a graveside service to be held as soon as possible after her death. We followed those wishes and she was buried on Tuesday, April 27, leaving behind her two remaining children, my mother and my uncle, three of us grandchildren, two sisters and several other family members and friends.
My family encouraged me to continue with the planned vacation which was a golf weekend getaway with several of my high school and college buddies. It was the fourth year of the event and several of those friends attending knew my grandmother. We dedicated the weekend to Bebo.
Upon arriving at the lake house near Tyler, Texas where we were all staying on the night of Thursday, April 29, we all welcomed each other and shared a good time. For me, I had not seen any of these guys since April of 2009. One of my best friends, Brian Howarth pulled out a plastic sack full of used golf balls he had found and told us we could look through them and take any we wanted.
I picked through and notice a Maxfli ball. When I started golfing in 5th grade that was the kind of ball I used. You see my Papa owned a Dunlop Tire Store in Mineral Wells and Dunlop made Maxfli golf balls, which were given to their tire dealerships. So I always had plenty of those kinds of golf balls.
On the other side of the ball a previous user I suppose, had written a large "B" on the ball. Of course it was just a typical mark of a golf ball, probably the initial of the last golfer to use it. To me though, the combination of finding a Maxfli ball marked with a large "B" written with a blue marker was the sign I needed to know that would be the ball I would start off with the next morning.
We arrived at The Cascades golf course in Tyler the next morning and I started off using the ball like I said I would. With three children and my wife golf is not something I do very often anymore. In fact this annual vacation is usually the only golf I play year round.
The course was beautiful and had several holes where water came into play. On the eighth hole I mentioned something to my friend who had given me the ball.
"This 'Bebo' ball must be giving me some luck," I said. "I can't believe I have not lost it yet."
We arrive at the next hole. Hole #9 at The Cascades is a Par 3, and from the tees we were playing from I had 166 yards to the green.
I decided to use my 8 iron for the shot which was a bit downhill. To be honest, I did not make perfect contact with the ball. I hit it a little thin which resulted in a low line drive. However the ball was going straight for the flag and two seconds after I hit it, I said to my partners that I thought it was going to go in the hole.
The ball bounced and bounced and rolled and continued to roll, for what seemed like about 30 seconds. It was probably only 10 seconds at most. It looked to me like it was going to stop on the front edge of the green but it kept rolling and followed the contour of the green giving it a soft curve to the left.
With our jaws hanging in disbelief we all watched the ball drop into the cup. We went crazy and I am sure we annoyed several golfers within earshot as we erupted in a celebration.
It was my first hole in one and the first one witnessed by my two friends who were my golf partners that day. I could not believe my fortune, but I knew that it was more than just fortune. It was something special, just like my grandmother, and I could not help but feel that she had guided the ball, the ball I had dedicated in her memory, the ball that had a big blue "B" on it, into the hole.
Let me tell you something, golfing can become very difficult immediately after a hole in one. I should have probably put the ball in my bag as a keepsake but I was so flustered and excited I went to the next tee and proceeded to slice the ball right into the water. The ball, just like my grandmother, was here for an extraordinary moment and then in what seems like a flash was gone.
Still the memory remains, just as the memory of my grandmother remains. It was really a profound moment and great example of here today and gone tomorrow. We never know what lies ahead as we travel through life. Moments good and bad are fleeting and memories tend to fade, but those we love are never really gone. They are carried on in our heart.
It seems so simple to remind ourselves and others how sacred life is and how we should not take it for granted, though we do. One would think it should be common knowledge that we should enjoy every moment and cherish the memories and honor our family, friends and loved ones, but sometimes we slip and get caught up in our own personal complaints and lose focus of what life is all about.
Even after she had left this world my grandmother had one final lesson for me. Enjoy the moments we have as they are fleeting. Have fun, be silly and most importantly love each other, respect each other and enjoy life while you have it. Cherish your memories and make new ones and most of all do good and do your best to make a difference.
Finally listen closely to those who have passed. Their voices can still be heard in thoughts and actions. They can guide you in their own way.
To me Bebo took her final bow when that ball splashed in the water. She gave me a week like no other and I know that our goodbye was just goodbye for now.
Happy Mothers Day to you mom and to my sweet wife Anna. You embolden everything good about Bebo to all those you touch in your lives. I love you.
Can't You Feel This World, With Your Heart and Not Your Brain
Nov. 1993 OKC
Sept. 1995 Austin
July 1998 Kansas City
Oct. 2000 Dallas
June 2003 Dallas
Nov. 1993 OKC
Sept. 1995 Austin
July 1998 Kansas City
Oct. 2000 Dallas
June 2003 Dallas
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