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a broken prayer

acrossssSsssshitttacrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
edited April 2010 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
if we don't dance again
that's ok
I could live like this
asking if you're ok
and when you said the other day
that you were not well
I saw then that maybe I couldn't help
you seemed far away
I saw that maybe for us, there was no way
so I listened to what you had to say
and I promised that for you I'd pray
I tend to fall asleep
but that's what I've been doing
while I’m awake

today you weren't there
and I know you aren't well
I was looking for God
and I thought why can't I see Him anywhere
I missed you
and God heard me whisper too

but if I'm not a good person
I hurt for you

I could live like this you know
I have little that's elsewhere
and when you smile at what I have to say
I remember what someone said
"this is the best life
I have ever lived"
so if you see me with my head down
while you look at me
know that I’m still around
only I’m struggling
with what this is all about

see I'm neither a very good singer
nor a very good writer
but when you make me feel sorrow and happiness together
I sense my soul a little better

but if I'm not a good person
I ache for you

that's why I pray there are others in this world
who pray for you like I do
but I wish I could pray another loves you
the way I do
So although God heard me whisper
I might not be whom He wants to hear
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    Fucking awesome bro !!!!

    I absolutely love this! Brilliant.
    Thanks for sharing.

    wow!
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • acrossssSsssshitttacrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
    thanks man...

    and to anyone reading this, regardless of whether these words sound good or bad, please just say a little prayer to whatever you believe in, that this person gets better, that's all.

    thank you
  • pepperpepper Posts: 155
    Another wow from me....this stirs!
    Pepper- I am faith without religion, without bruised knees and pleas for forgiveness...
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    acrossOceans wrote:
    thanks man...

    and to anyone reading this, regardless of whether these words sound good or bad, please just say a little prayer to whatever you believe in, that this person gets better, that's all.

    thank you

    you have a good heart my friend.
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    this is touching
    thank you for sharing with us
    and yes we should all say some special prayers a bit more often
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • acrossssSsssshitttacrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
    thank you all so much... your sincere acknowledgments go a long way... a very long way .

    peace be with you
  • Ms. Wes C.addleMs. Wes C.addle Posts: 2,559
    I read this on my return from a funeral... It brought me to tears, which isn't too easy these past few weeks.

    It just instilled in me the fact that we have such little time here... We can spend our days being dramatic and worrying about all the petty nonsense in our lives, or we can take advantage of being here. Make a difference in the lives of people we know, not constantly talk shit and pick fights.

    I pray to those struggling... pray for them to see the brighter side and move forward... happy. content.

    Love it all, once again! :D

    ---sorry about the rant.
  • acrossssSsssshitttacrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
    a rant hardly... your prayer is just what I hoped for... thank you
  • mikalinamikalina Posts: 7,206
    I will send your friend a prayer. Hoping for the best. Those were powerful words you wrote, I just felt like crying. Lots of love, your friend "mika"
    ********************************************************************************************* image
  • DrWeilandDrWeiland Posts: 81
    "I tend to fall asleep
    but that's what I've been doing
    while I’m awake"

    mmm, really nice!
    "Here's a token of my openness..."
  • acrossssSsssshitttacrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
    thank you both...

    Mika I find so hard to describe what your caring and simple words do for me... like fluffy white clouds maybe... I'm not sure but somethin like that: ) take care of yourself...
  • supersonicyearssupersonicyears Posts: 2,619
    Once again, beautiful. Praying for your friend.
    "In the age of darkness
    want to be enlightened"
  • acrossssSsssshitttacrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
    Thank you so much Beach... I remember yours was the first reponse I'd received to one of the first poems I posted here...kinda like my oldest friend here... hard to forget little things like that: )
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    acrossOceans wrote:
    if we don't dance again
    that's ok
    I could live like this
    asking if you're ok
    and when you said the other day
    that you were not well
    I saw then that maybe I couldn't help
    you seemed far away
    I saw that maybe for us, there was no way
    so I listened to what you had to say
    and I promised that for you I'd pray
    I tend to fall asleep
    but that's what I've been doing
    while I’m awake

    today you weren't there
    and I know you aren't well
    I was looking for God
    and I thought why can't I see Him anywhere
    I missed you
    and God heard me whisper too

    but if I'm not a good person
    I hurt for you

    I could live like this you know
    I have little that's elsewhere
    and when you smile at what I have to say
    I remember what someone said
    "this is the best life
    I have ever lived"
    so if you see me with my head down
    while you look at me
    know that I’m still around
    only I’m struggling
    with what this is all about

    see I'm neither a very good singer
    nor a very good writer
    but when you make me feel sorrow and happiness together
    I sense my soul a little better

    but if I'm not a good person
    I ache for you

    that's why I pray there are others in this world
    who pray for you like I do
    but I wish I could pray another loves you
    the way I do
    So although God heard me whisper
    I might not be whom He wants to hear
    Your words are like a beautiful prayer. You expressed the vulnerability we all feel in God's eyes so well, very moving. You are a talented writer and a very caring person. I pray your prayers are answered.
  • The Porch is full of overweight jobless geeksThe Porch is full of overweight jobless geeks Posts: 64
    love it, i know these words are from the heart but "see I'm neither a very good singer
    nor a very good writer"....both not true bro
  • Godfather.Godfather. Posts: 12,504
    I'm numb,that's pure as it get's..absalutly awsome Brother.

    Godfather.
  • acrossssSsssshitttacrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
    Pandora, thank you so much for your heartfelt prayer

    Lee, you're too kind and though your words make a difference, whether I am or not matters little I guess

    Godfather, we feel and then we get numb, yet we hurt. well
  • Godfather.Godfather. Posts: 12,504
    acrossOceans wrote:
    Pandora, thank you so much for your heartfelt prayer

    Lee, you're too kind and though your words make a difference, whether I am or not matters little I guess

    Godfather, we feel and then we get numb, yet we hurt. well

    and that's how we learn my Brother. ;)

    Godfather.
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