Getting screwed out of money...
dcfaithful
Posts: 13,076
So here is the scoop. Ever since I met my girlfriend’s mother,who has a great heart and I love her dearly, she has been in and out of tough living situations. Without getting too personal and descriptive she was prosecuted and paid for it, been in a recovery facility, been in a women’s shelter, roomed up with random, and sometimes shady characters, and hasn’t really been able to land anything other than a job serving tables. In no way am I judging…I’m not that person, and I don’t think differently about her because of it.
Recently, she has been really trying to make an effort to turn things around for herself and began rooming with her brother and mother. My gf’s uncle and grandmother respectively. Well, the other day she makes a phone call to my girlfriend and says that they're having a bit of trouble making rent, and was wondering if we could loan her $206 and she could pay us back by the end of the week. $206 isn’t too much to ask for considering she made a promise she could pay it back by the end of the week. I was hesitant at first, but I thought I’d give it a chance. My girlfriend was hesitant going into it given she knows her mom's behavior, and she stressed to her that we would not be screwed out of this money because we've been busting our asses to pay off our credit card. Under those circumstances, I paid her share over the phone to her landlord in Georgia with my credit card.
Well, the end of the week comes I begin to ask my girlfriend if she has heard anything from her mom about the money, and she says no and that she will call her. She does, and is told that they don’t have the money yet because her uncle’s waiting on his paycheck. Obviously this sparks up some interest to me because originally I was under the impression that it was her mother’s share of the money that was missing, not her uncle’s. On a side note, my girlfriend herself, and her two siblings have told me that their uncle has had some real trouble getting his life in shape and basically that he is unreliable. I begin to get curious and ask questions and I soon find out that it wasn’t her money to begin with, and that I basically covered the ass of someone who I have never met in my life.
I’m confident that I’m not the only one who would choose not to loan money to someone who I had heard more or less negative things about. It’s been a little over 2 weeks now and I haven’t seen shit of that money back and at this point, I don’t expect to.
What really pisses me off about the whole situation is that I feel taken advantage of. Firstly, this random uncle should’ve stepped up to the plate himself and asked for money but he wouldn’t, because he knew that his niece wouldn’t agree to it. Instead, my girlfriends mom became his scapegoat into getting cash from a vulnerable source. It actually has created an argument between my girlfriend and myself because I’m quite bothered at the fact that her mother would deceive us like that, and that we just handed out money that really wasn’t ours. I know my first mistake was using my credit card, and my second mistake was trusting someone who I knew better than to trust with money but I did it anyway because I wanted to help her out, and I could see how bad my girlfriend felt that her mother couldn’t make rent. At this point, my girlfriend keeps telling me that we still helped her mom out, and had we not done so none of them would have a place to stay. Okay…that I agree with. I can set my anger aside and see the sense in that, and appreciate it. But to me, it’s principal. Now, her mother doesn’t have any chance borrowing money from me again, even if it is truly for her.
I'm kind of bitter, but I’ve accepted I won’t see that money again, and I'll have to pay the balance off out of pocket. Has my reaction been cold, or is it fair for me to keep my stance because of the principal of this situation?
:evil: :roll:
Recently, she has been really trying to make an effort to turn things around for herself and began rooming with her brother and mother. My gf’s uncle and grandmother respectively. Well, the other day she makes a phone call to my girlfriend and says that they're having a bit of trouble making rent, and was wondering if we could loan her $206 and she could pay us back by the end of the week. $206 isn’t too much to ask for considering she made a promise she could pay it back by the end of the week. I was hesitant at first, but I thought I’d give it a chance. My girlfriend was hesitant going into it given she knows her mom's behavior, and she stressed to her that we would not be screwed out of this money because we've been busting our asses to pay off our credit card. Under those circumstances, I paid her share over the phone to her landlord in Georgia with my credit card.
Well, the end of the week comes I begin to ask my girlfriend if she has heard anything from her mom about the money, and she says no and that she will call her. She does, and is told that they don’t have the money yet because her uncle’s waiting on his paycheck. Obviously this sparks up some interest to me because originally I was under the impression that it was her mother’s share of the money that was missing, not her uncle’s. On a side note, my girlfriend herself, and her two siblings have told me that their uncle has had some real trouble getting his life in shape and basically that he is unreliable. I begin to get curious and ask questions and I soon find out that it wasn’t her money to begin with, and that I basically covered the ass of someone who I have never met in my life.
I’m confident that I’m not the only one who would choose not to loan money to someone who I had heard more or less negative things about. It’s been a little over 2 weeks now and I haven’t seen shit of that money back and at this point, I don’t expect to.
What really pisses me off about the whole situation is that I feel taken advantage of. Firstly, this random uncle should’ve stepped up to the plate himself and asked for money but he wouldn’t, because he knew that his niece wouldn’t agree to it. Instead, my girlfriends mom became his scapegoat into getting cash from a vulnerable source. It actually has created an argument between my girlfriend and myself because I’m quite bothered at the fact that her mother would deceive us like that, and that we just handed out money that really wasn’t ours. I know my first mistake was using my credit card, and my second mistake was trusting someone who I knew better than to trust with money but I did it anyway because I wanted to help her out, and I could see how bad my girlfriend felt that her mother couldn’t make rent. At this point, my girlfriend keeps telling me that we still helped her mom out, and had we not done so none of them would have a place to stay. Okay…that I agree with. I can set my anger aside and see the sense in that, and appreciate it. But to me, it’s principal. Now, her mother doesn’t have any chance borrowing money from me again, even if it is truly for her.
I'm kind of bitter, but I’ve accepted I won’t see that money again, and I'll have to pay the balance off out of pocket. Has my reaction been cold, or is it fair for me to keep my stance because of the principal of this situation?
:evil: :roll:
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
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This is exactly how I feel. I'll give you a chance, but don't burn me. And yes, I try not to judge someone I don't know myself...but he does sound like a bum and he should've been a man and asked himself...otherwise, make sure you have the fucking money for rent! It hasn't got between us, but I feel really frustrated because I can't say how I really feel cause I don't want to hurt her feelings with how I feel about her mom screwing us. :? Guess I'll have to bite my tongue.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
I can if I'm able to GIVE a loved one a portion of what they need with no obligation to payback I do. But that is a small amount of cash because we are broke like everyone else.
judging by what you said about the mom, it sounds like she hasn't always made good decisions but she is now trying to do better...well, on the way to being a better person she will make mistakes...this is one...try not to be too hard on her or your gf...also, this is her brother and if he's the piece of work you say he is, he probably conned his sister into getting the money from you
whatever you do, don't let this experience get you jaded (or more jaded
While I totally see your point of view, I also think that her mom has a good idea of our situation. I go to school, we kind of live paycheck to paycheck...sure we can save money, but not a lot...but we do alright. But we're in no situation to just give someone some money. It really upsets me that her mom would allow herself to be conned into taking advantage of her own daughter. While some people say it's hard to say no to your siblings, it can also be easy...because they're your siblings. Whatever though, I gave up the first chance and now I know. But, life goes on and I'll forgive.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
9/29/04 Boston, 6/28/08 Mansfield, 8/23/09 Chicago, 5/15/10 Hartford
5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
EV Solo: 6/16/11 Boston, 6/18/11 Hartford,
yeah i understand but it sounds like mom is still trying to shed her own ways and so even though she knows of your situation, she still thinks of herself and what's important to her
chalk it up to a learning experience and move on
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Why not (V) (°,,,,°) (V) ?
I've not disagreed with her too much, she sees my point as I do her's, but I think it's a bit of she maybe has been the victim of this before and this is my first instance. $206 isn't a lot of money, and it's not going to put me out of a place to live or a car or anything, but I guess it just really goes against the character of a person. Or at least that's how I think of it. But, it's been said before, what's done is done.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
It only cost you $206 to learn that you will NEVER loan her mother money again.
chalk it up to experience.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
How old is your girlfriends mother????
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
Ain't that the truth. I learned the same thing with a co-worker I worked with closely for 3 years. She hit some hard times, raising 2 sons for college with no computer. I had previously years ago borrowed $400....paid her back promptly a month later like I said I would.
She asked for a loan of $600 to buy a laptop for her son, I was somewhat close to them took them to beach and such. That was 2 years ago and it'll be 3yrs this September and I've learned I'll never ever loan cash money like that again even family members. Even though I do believe she will eventually give me the money back it still doesn't change how I'll handle these things in the future.
Sometimes we have to learn these things the hard and just chalk it up as such a thing.
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
by the way, do you really know the person you gave your credit card info to was a "landlord"...?
I recommend checking your card statement or calling the card company ASAP to see if any other charges have been made...
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
I don't know...haven't really thought about doing it...In all honesty, I've become a little passive about it just because I figured I' djust take my loss and learn a valuable lesson. Maybe this would be worth it?
I check my statement very regularly and no additional charges have been made...yet. The place that charged it is an actual "lodge", or so their business name says...so I feel comfortable that it's legit...but still, I watch my statement for any kind of fraud-like activity.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Early to mid 40's. Don't know an exact age.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Ugh! Okay, I'll really do my best to let this shit go.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
good way of looking at things when one is a dope dealer.
front someone a sack till payday? sure.
payday comes & payday goes.
they never pay up...
no more greenery for them.
they just fucked themselves.
saw it a million times.
i mean on t.v. i saw it like that
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
if it's your cash, it's your place.
My bottom line feeling...but I know that if I do take that step, it'll most likely cause a shit storm between me and the GF, the GF and her mom...and most likely her mom and me.
Now more than ever am I referring back to the motto "choose your battles wisely".
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Definitely niggles me at times too.
A payment plan...maybe, but I'm not too partial to that. Why should I have to wait for her to pay me back in installments when I loaned her the money because I was tricked into it? I won't agree to it because I'm not a bank, and if she does pay me back in payments, it'll be the same way it would be done through a bank...with interest. Seems cheap of me, I know...but this little mis-hap is making another dire situation I'm in more difficult.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2