No More HUMMERS! (funny)
PJ_Lukin
Posts: 2,049
http://www.borowitzreport.com/
Decision to Stop Making Hummers Saddens Assholes
Douchebags Seek New Way to Compensate for Tiny Penises
DETROIT (The Borowitz Report) – General Motors’ decision yesterday to stop manufacturing Hummers has struck at the heart of the group who loved the vehicles most: America’s assholes.
Across the nation, leading assholes spoke of a sense of loss and sadness caused by the decision, and suggested that they would now be searching for new ways to compensate for their small penises.
Tracy Klugian, a realtor in Tempe, Arizona, said that he would consider buying a boat with an annoyingly loud sound system, “but it just won’t say ‘asshole’ like a Hummer does.”
Mr. Klugian, whose penis has been described as “microscopic,” also questioned the timing of GM’s decision.
“Right now, the Hummer is the only thing on the road capable of stopping a Toyota,” he said.
Decision to Stop Making Hummers Saddens Assholes
Douchebags Seek New Way to Compensate for Tiny Penises
DETROIT (The Borowitz Report) – General Motors’ decision yesterday to stop manufacturing Hummers has struck at the heart of the group who loved the vehicles most: America’s assholes.
Across the nation, leading assholes spoke of a sense of loss and sadness caused by the decision, and suggested that they would now be searching for new ways to compensate for their small penises.
Tracy Klugian, a realtor in Tempe, Arizona, said that he would consider buying a boat with an annoyingly loud sound system, “but it just won’t say ‘asshole’ like a Hummer does.”
Mr. Klugian, whose penis has been described as “microscopic,” also questioned the timing of GM’s decision.
“Right now, the Hummer is the only thing on the road capable of stopping a Toyota,” he said.
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maybe that's why you're 'ms'
racing period sucks ass.
what a waste of fuel.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
it's a prediction, a wish, and a fact.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Other than NASCAR, racing is great anyhow.
Dude, that is hilarious!
"what a long, strange trip it's been"
How strange....my brother just bought an old Hummer yesterday for $90,000 and as we speak (type), he's in the process of driving it back to where we live. He also has a Lamborghini Diablo and I constantly say he's trying to compensate for a small penis by buying vehicles. I'll have to send this to him!
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
It will be 43 bicycles going around a track over and over instead.
WF Center 4/28/16; WF Center 4/29/16; Fenway Park 8/7/16; Fenway Park 9/2/18; Asbury Park 9/18/21; Camden 9/14/22;
Las Vegas 5/16/24; Las Vegas 5/18/24; WF Center 9/7/24; WF Center 9/9/24; Baltimore Arena 9/12/24
Tres Mtns - TLA 3/23/11; EV - Tower Theatre 6/25/11; Temple of the Dog - Tower Theatre 11/5/16
This is going to top my other Hummer joke:
Just buy a T-Shirt that says 'Dickhead', it'll have the same effect but it won't cost as much.