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not Your mess

acrossssSsssshitttacrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
edited February 2010 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
as babies
we come out filthy

but in childhood
the sins grew on me

and there was dirt in my eyes
from the dirt all around me

now I'm fuckin dirty
no love here, growin on my tree
...for me

it was never Your mess
it was the sickness that fell upon me
so I took out the leaves
and stuck in my bare tree
an honest deed
but now look at me
...even You can't reach me

did I not pray
so my thoughts decay

did I experiment
on a holy day

did I do it
my father's way

I'm a full grown worm
chasing butterflies
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    I hardly ever comment on people's creative writing these days but I want to say that this one is refreshing because for once it's written from the point of view of someone not blaming other people for their issues. That's new!

    I like it.

    If I made another positive comment it might be that I think until a person dies, they always have the opportunity to do things differently. No one is stuck forever in any one incarnation.
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • acrossssSsssshitttacrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
    that's very heartfelt... thank you so much...

    I'd like to think I have lived this life so far, with dignity and honesty, but our minds can get crazy, and I believe conscience and repentance are key...
  • supersonicyearssupersonicyears Posts: 2,619
    edited July 2010
    .
    Post edited by supersonicyears on
    "In the age of darkness
    want to be enlightened"
  • acrossssSsssshitttacrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
    TheBeach wrote:
    you write some amazing stuff.


    well I'm grateful that you dig man... i guess it's not just my thoughts, but my dreams too, that are "too big for my [fuckin] insides" :)
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    good stuff here , I really dig it.

    I really like this:

    " it was never Your mess
    it was the sickness that fell upon me
    so I took out the leaves
    and stuck in my bare tree"


    very good. thanks for posting.
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • acrossssSsssshitttacrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
    the wolf wrote:
    good stuff here , I really dig it.

    I really like this:

    " it was never Your mess
    it was the sickness that fell upon me
    so I took out the leaves
    and stuck in my bare tree"


    very good. thanks for posting.


    having related to your words so often, your appreciation always means a lot man. thank you for reading...
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