Do you ever feel like you're busting your balls...

rhcpjam1029

...over a girl who doesn't appreciate you? and then when "that guy" comes along they're immediately drawn to them?

i've been really friendly with this girl for over a year now. whenever we're out together (and this just isn't when i'm only with her; i do this for all girls i'm out with whether i'm trying to get in their pants or not) i pick up the dinner bill, ice cream, cupcakes, movie, whatever it may be. i do so much stuff for this girl just for her to at least acknowledge that i'm a nice guy and i'm not just here for the ass.

but tonight (after we spent an evening at a coffee shop purchasing her coffee and some pastries) she tells me that a guy wants her. i don't really approve of this guy because he's the typical jock type who has no personality and has just gotten through life by looking good and playing sports.

she tells me that he said to her that it would be great if she wouldn't talk to him and just have sex with him.

i've busted my balls doing everything for this girl and some piece of shit comes along and blatantly tells her that he wants to use her. and she is completely okay with that. she's off running to him right now.

fuck that.

ahhh. it feels great to finally get that off. i'm so thankful for having this board to vent.

Ledbetterman10

rhcpjam1029 wrote:

i've been really friendly with this girl for over a year now.

Well if you've been friendly for a year, then you're friends.

rhcpjam1029 wrote:

she tells me that he said to her that it would be great if she wouldn't talk to him and just have sex with him.

By blatantly telling you this, she either wants to to finally admit you have feelings for her or she's simply just looked at you as a friend all along.

dcfaithful

rhcpjam1029 wrote:

...over a girl who doesn't appreciate you? and then when "that guy" comes along they're immediately drawn to them?

i've been really friendly with this girl for over a year now. whenever we're out together (and this just isn't when i'm only with her; i do this for all girls i'm out with whether i'm trying to get in their pants or not) i pick up the dinner bill, ice cream, cupcakes, movie, whatever it may be. i do so much stuff for this girl just for her to at least acknowledge that i'm a nice guy and i'm not just here for the ass.

but tonight (after we spent an evening at a coffee shop purchasing her coffee and some pastries) she tells me that a guy wants her. i don't really approve of this guy because he's the typical jock type who has no personality and has just gotten through life by looking good and playing sports.

she tells me that he said to her that it would be great if she wouldn't talk to him and just have sex with him.

i've busted my balls doing everything for this girl and some piece of shit comes along and blatantly tells her that he wants to use her. and she is completely okay with that. she's off running to him right now.

fuck that.

ahhh. it feels great to finally get that off. i'm so thankful for having this board to vent.

So she's drawn to the fact that a guy wants to use her?? :? Why doesn't she have any respect for herself? Obviously I don't know this girl nearly to the extent that you do, but maybe you'd be more appreciated by someone who appreciates themself.

rhcpjam1029

i think that's what it is.

ZiggyStar

dcfaithful wrote:

So she's drawn to the fact that a guy wants to use her?? :? Why doesn't she have any respect for herself? Obviously I don't know this girl nearly to the extent that you do, but maybe you'd be more appreciated by someone who appreciates themself.

But maybe she just wants some no strings attached sex? Maybe she wants to use him too?

Imagine if she has sex with the OP? He'd be falling in love with her, asking her whether she likes him, where are we at now, will this move onto bf/gf status, should she keeping letting him pay for meals or will that make him feel that they are together and now moving onto the "dating" phase etc etc. It would more than likely get weird because she obviously doesn't like him in that way, even though he does! It's obvious she just likes him as a friend. ORRR she could just have sex with the good looking sporty guy who sounds like he wants exactly what she's after....a fuck!

Unless she's getting all gooey and gaga over this good looking sporty guy who has clearly stated what he wants....if she is, she's just a dick who deserves to be hurt.

i_lov_it

rhcpjam1029 wrote:

i pick up the dinner bill, ice cream, cupcakes, movie, whatever it may be. i do so much stuff for this girl just for her to at least acknowledge that i'm a nice guy and i'm not just here for the ass.

but tonight (after we spent an evening at a coffee shop purchasing her coffee and some pastries) she tells me that a guy wants her.

I think that Someone Needs to come Over and ***S L A P*** some "Sense" into You.....

pandora

We really can't help who we have chemistry with, who we are very sexually attracted to. We are lucky if that is someone we can have a lasting loving relationship with.
I would say you are attracted to her and she not so to you but very so to sporty.
Maybe you'll find that girl who is very attracted to you and hopefully you her and you won't be wasting your time on hopeful friendships that are very frustrating.

dcfaithful

i_lov_it wrote:

rhcpjam1029 wrote:

i pick up the dinner bill, ice cream, cupcakes, movie, whatever it may be. i do so much stuff for this girl just for her to at least acknowledge that i'm a nice guy and i'm not just here for the ass.

but tonight (after we spent an evening at a coffee shop purchasing her coffee and some pastries) she tells me that a guy wants her.

I think that Someone Needs to come Over and ***S L A P*** some "Sense" into You.....

Every man is guilty at one point in their life of wasting time on a woman. Or at least, I've experienced this, and so has every male I know...

the wolf

dcfaithful wrote:

i_lov_it wrote:

rhcpjam1029 wrote:

i pick up the dinner bill, ice cream, cupcakes, movie, whatever it may be. i do so much stuff for this girl just for her to at least acknowledge that i'm a nice guy and i'm not just here for the ass.

but tonight (after we spent an evening at a coffee shop purchasing her coffee and some pastries) she tells me that a guy wants her.

I think that Someone Needs to come Over and ***S L A P*** some "Sense" into You.....

Every man is guilty at one point in their life of wasting time on a woman. Or at least, I've experienced this, and so has every male I know...

some of us waste years on them....

just sayin.

dcfaithful

ZiggyStar wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

So she's drawn to the fact that a guy wants to use her?? :? Why doesn't she have any respect for herself? Obviously I don't know this girl nearly to the extent that you do, but maybe you'd be more appreciated by someone who appreciates themself.

But maybe she just wants some no strings attached sex? Maybe she wants to use him too?

Imagine if she has sex with the OP? He'd be falling in love with her, asking her whether she likes him, where are we at now, will this move onto bf/gf status, should she keeping letting him pay for meals or will that make him feel that they are together and now moving onto the "dating" phase etc etc. It would more than likely get weird because she obviously doesn't like him in that way, even though he does! It's obvious she just likes him as a friend. ORRR she could just have sex with the good looking sporty guy who sounds like he wants exactly what she's after....a fuck!

Unless she's getting all gooey and gaga over this good looking sporty guy who has clearly stated what he wants....if she is, she's just a dick who deserves to be hurt.

If this scenario is what is going on, she should have the courtesy to tell him and not waste his time, and his money. Even if she's just looking for a fuck, a guy that straight up has asked her to not talk to her, just spread her legs sounds like she isn't keeping up to her own standards for herself...which I think is a pretty unattractive personality trait. Mind you, that's just my opinion.

Me personally, after what he has described. I'd probably just bail on it. I wouldn't allow myself to be made a fool (rhcpjam, I'm not calling you one...but it sounds like this girl is playing you, and you shouldn't allow it to happen). The reason I say I think she's playing you, is after all the effort you have put in to being a decent and caring guy to her, she makes the decision she has made? Obviously she's doesn't possess the naivete to honestly not know what she's done. I think it should be apparent to her that you've been making a more than casual effort.

I'm not trying to be rude or tell you what to do, but I'm just calling it like I see it, and I think you deserve to be appreciated. If she wants to have a fuck that is a dick enough to ask her not to speak to him, that's her poor decision. But if she is your friend, she should have the courtesy to be honest with you about the situation between you and her so you can stop wasting your time on her and find someone who will acknowledge and appreciate you for the genuine guy you seem to be.

Good luck.

dcfaithful

the wolf wrote:

some of us waste years on them....

just sayin.

I totally agree. But the decision to waste that time is all on you. (not literally of course)

I don't mean to sound so stern, I just feel that I have done the same thing that the OP has, and I wish I would've just bailed a lot sooner than I did. Avoid the emotional roller coaster if you can...

London Bridge

I also believe every guy goes through this scenario at least once ..maybe several times. Each time you cut down the amount of time it takes for you realize this isn't going to happen, and you move on.

justam

The strangest part of this story is the part where the other guy says that to her and she doesn't find it unbelievably rude and come and complain to you, her friend!

Why isn't she insulted by someone saying to have sex with him but not to talk to him? :shock:

dcfaithful

justam wrote:

Why isn't she insulted by someone saying to have sex with him but not to talk to him? :shock:

That is exactly what I'm wondering. This guy sounds like a total douche-bag. It really sounds like she doesn't think too highly of herself... :?

cincybearcat

What's her phone #?

smarchee

London Bridge wrote:

I also believe every guy goes through this scenario at least once ..maybe several times. Each time you cut down the amount of time it takes for you realize this isn't going to happen, and you move on.

good post

London Bridge

Thanks....it's one those terrible lessons in life to learn

smarchee wrote:

London Bridge wrote:

I also believe every guy goes through this scenario at least once ..maybe several times. Each time you cut down the amount of time it takes for you realize this isn't going to happen, and you move on.

good post

chadwick

be the king.

blenderman69

ZiggyStar wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

So she's drawn to the fact that a guy wants to use her?? :? Why doesn't she have any respect for herself? Obviously I don't know this girl nearly to the extent that you do, but maybe you'd be more appreciated by someone who appreciates themself.

But maybe she just wants some no strings attached sex? Maybe she wants to use him too?

Imagine if she has sex with the OP? He'd be falling in love with her, asking her whether she likes him, where are we at now, will this move onto bf/gf status, should she keeping letting him pay for meals or will that make him feel that they are together and now moving onto the "dating" phase etc etc. It would more than likely get weird because she obviously doesn't like him in that way, even though he does! It's obvious she just likes him as a friend. ORRR she could just have sex with the good looking sporty guy who sounds like he wants exactly what she's after....a fuck!

Unless she's getting all gooey and gaga over this good looking sporty guy who has clearly stated what he wants....if she is, she's just a dick who deserves to be hurt.

verry intelligent observation ziggy.i agree 100%

ZiggyStar

dcfaithful wrote:

justam wrote:

Why isn't she insulted by someone saying to have sex with him but not to talk to him? :shock:

That is exactly what I'm wondering. This guy sounds like a total douche-bag. It really sounds like she doesn't think too highly of herself... :?

I kinda read the "not talk to him" part like it was being said in jest....more of a figure of speech ....like "don't talk to me just fuck me hahaha". If he really said it like that and that's what he really means, I agree with dc....this guy does sound like a dickhead.