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Life in the US army (based on commercials)

CommyCommy Posts: 4,984
edited February 2010 in A Moving Train
General Stone: Alright men listen up, our nation is at war, and the whole world is counting on us to protect freedom. That leaves us with just one option.
Bob: Rock climbing?
General Stone: Exactly. There's a steep mountain in the middle of an unpopulated desert. We need someone to go there by himself, climb the mountain, and put a flag on top.
Bob: I'll do it.
General stone: Excellent!. We also need someone to ride a jet ski, how about you, Jackson?
Jackson:I don't know, General, I'm sort of afraid of getting hurt. Can i stay here and work on computers?
General: Yes. Everybody who wants to can stay here and work on computers.
Brian: General?
General: What's up?
Brian: Can I take a break? I kind of want to go to college.
General: No problem. Here's $30,000 in cash.
Jackson: Hey look! Its my friends and family.
Friends and Family: Hey, nice uniform. We're proud of you.
Jackson: Thanks. See you in a couple weeks
Friends and Family: Yeah, see you then.



-Simon Rich.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • haffajappahaffajappa British Columbia Posts: 5,955
    hahaha.. wow... I don't know whether to laugh or to feel bad because that is so true.
    live pearl jam is best pearl jam
  • gimmesometruth27gimmesometruth27 St. Fuckin Louis Posts: 23,303
    Commy wrote:
    General Stone: Alright men listen up, our nation is at war, and the whole world is counting on us to protect freedom. That leaves us with just one option.
    Bob: Rock climbing?
    General Stone: Exactly. There's a steep mountain in the middle of an unpopulated desert. We need someone to go there by himself, climb the mountain, and put a flag on top.
    Bob: I'll do it.
    General stone: Excellent!. We also need someone to ride a jet ski, how about you, Jackson?
    Jackson:I don't know, General, I'm sort of afraid of getting hurt. Can i stay here and work on computers?
    General: Yes. Everybody who wants to can stay here and work on computers.
    Brian: General?
    General: What's up?
    Brian: Can I take a break? I kind of want to go to college.
    General: No problem. Here's $30,000 in cash.
    Jackson: Hey look! Its my friends and family.
    Friends and Family: Hey, nice uniform. We're proud of you.
    Jackson: Thanks. See you in a couple weeks
    Friends and Family: Yeah, see you then.



    -Simon Rich.
    well then, that sounds really safe and fun, sign me up!!
    "You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry."  - Lincoln

    "Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
  • TriumphantAngelTriumphantAngel Posts: 1,760
    Commy wrote:
    General Stone: Alright men listen up, our nation is at war, and the whole world is counting on us to protect freedom. That leaves us with just one option.
    Bob: Rock climbing?
    General Stone: Exactly. There's a steep mountain in the middle of an unpopulated desert. We need someone to go there by himself, climb the mountain, and put a flag on top.
    Bob: I'll do it.
    General stone: Excellent!. We also need someone to ride a jet ski, how about you, Jackson?
    Jackson:I don't know, General, I'm sort of afraid of getting hurt. Can i stay here and work on computers?
    General: Yes. Everybody who wants to can stay here and work on computers.
    Brian: General?
    General: What's up?
    Brian: Can I take a break? I kind of want to go to college.
    General: No problem. Here's $30,000 in cash.
    Jackson: Hey look! Its my friends and family.
    Friends and Family: Hey, nice uniform. We're proud of you.
    Jackson: Thanks. See you in a couple weeks
    Friends and Family: Yeah, see you then.



    -Simon Rich.
    hahaha, that's hilarious. :mrgreen:
  • gimmesometruth27gimmesometruth27 St. Fuckin Louis Posts: 23,303
    surprised it did not mention a guy randomly fighting a dragon or fighting a knight on a chess board....no wait....that was the usmc.... :oops:
    "You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry."  - Lincoln

    "Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
  • CommyCommy Posts: 4,984
    gimmesometruth27 wrote:
    surprised it did not mention a guy randomly fighting a dragon or fighting a knight on a chess board....no wait....that was the usmc.... :oops:
    yeah who hands out the swords?
  • Cliffy6745Cliffy6745 Posts: 33,915
    The recent air force commericals are pretty amusing as well. In a dark room looking at one of those glass screens making sure asteroids avoid satellites
  • OffHeGoes29OffHeGoes29 Posts: 1,240
    Those commercials are fucking stupid, no matter what branch. They are geared to board teenagers that have no idea what the military is like. I did 6 years AD Air Force, and it was nothing like that, BUT I'm happy I did it because of the experience, travel (lived in Europe for 2 years) and now have my college paid for.
    BRING BACK THE WHALE
  • youngsteryoungster Boston Posts: 6,576
    Just goes to show if you are dumb enough to believe commercials on TV, you deserve the REAL military experience. As a veteran I can tell you those commercials are crap. Once you sign you're name on the dotted line, you give up all freedoms. You are told where to go, what to do, no freedom of choice. The only choice you have is whether or not ot join. Once you do, it's all over.
    He who forgets will be destined to remember.

    9/29/04 Boston, 6/28/08 Mansfield, 8/23/09 Chicago, 5/15/10 Hartford
    5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
    8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
    EV Solo: 6/16/11 Boston, 6/18/11 Hartford,
  • flywallyflyflywallyfly Posts: 1,453
    There is a really bad new National Guard commercial playing at Cinemark theaters right now. It must have been 3 minutes long.
  • ByrnzieByrnzie Posts: 21,037
    I think there's something to be said for the discipline and experience that being in the armed forces gives you. On the other hand, I'd not be overjoyed at being made to go off and kill a bunch of brown people to fatten the wallets of the money Nazis in London or D.C.
  • cajunkiwicajunkiwi Posts: 984
    Byrnzie wrote:
    I think there's something to be said for the discipline and experience that being in the armed forces gives you. On the other hand, I'd not be overjoyed at being made to go off and kill a bunch of brown people to fatten the wallets of the money Nazis in London or D.C.

    Plus, I'm pretty sure that even if I had a sword, a dragon could kick my arse.
    And I listen for the voice inside my head... nothing. I'll do this one myself.
  • OffHeGoes29OffHeGoes29 Posts: 1,240
    Byrnzie wrote:
    I think there's something to be said for the discipline and experience that being in the armed forces gives you. On the other hand, I'd not be overjoyed at being made to go off and kill a bunch of brown people to fatten the wallets of the money Nazis in London or D.C.

    Don't forget the baby killing, that why I joined!

    :roll:
    BRING BACK THE WHALE
  • Dirtie_FrankDirtie_Frank Posts: 1,348
    I think they teach baby killing in the Army in week 6 if I remember right. :lol::lol::D :(
    96 Randall's Island II
    98 CAA
    00 Virginia Beach;Camden I; Jones Beach III
    05 Borgata Night I; Wachovia Center
    06 Letterman Show; Webcast (guy in blue shirt), Camden I; DC
    08 Camden I; Camden II; DC
    09 Phillie III
    10 MSG II
    13 Wrigley Field
    16 Phillie II
  • Heatherj43Heatherj43 Posts: 1,254
    My ex joined the army when my son was just 3 months old. He didn't tell me and came home that night and said they were coming to get him at 6 am the next day. We were 18 years old.
    I hated army life. I cannot in one little place like this explain all the reasons, I need a book to do so.
    But, it sux, period!!
    Save room for dessert!
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