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Is is wrong?
Yellow Ledbelly
Posts: 3,749
So my best friend in the world happens to be a female...a very beautiful one both inside and out...and it is and always has been the most special relationship I have ever had in my life...hands down. We have an enormous amount of love and respect for each other, share our deepest and most intimate thoughts and fears with each other, and we spend so many great times together. We've been through all the hard times with each other and stood by the other no matter what. It is a very special thing to me and I've never given much thought to it being anything more than what it is...but I guess naturally it has crossed my mind given the unbelievably loving nature of our friendship.
Thing is...we've talked about it in a roundabout kind of way and we pretty much roundabout agreed that our relationship is too special to risk ruining it by trying to make it more. But, at the same time, our relationship has gotten to the point where we actually do have kind of a couple thing going on in a way....just the little things I guess but its definitely there. Both of us frequently speak of ourselves as "we" to each other and to others as well...that sort of thing.
Her mother, my mother, her friends, my friends and other people who ever spend much time around us together always talk about what a special thing we obviously have. My boss even got mad at me when I told him a while back that we weren't planning on trying to take our relationship to another level. On old friend of mine brought his wife to my house the other night and when my friend left to go home the guy's wife said "You two so obviously love each other...why don't you just go ahead and admit it?" My mom asked a couple of weeks ago if we were a couple now....and I told her no but we do make a damn good team...which we do.
So all that rambling brings me to my question: are we fooling ourselves into thinking its not worth the risk? Is it wrong to have such a wonderful relationship between a man and a woman and not try to turn it into a lifelong partnership? By ignoring what everyone else seems to see in us are we making a terrible mistake?
Like I said....I've never really thought of it as an option, but when so many people see something more it has just made me think...what if we're wrong??
Thing is...we've talked about it in a roundabout kind of way and we pretty much roundabout agreed that our relationship is too special to risk ruining it by trying to make it more. But, at the same time, our relationship has gotten to the point where we actually do have kind of a couple thing going on in a way....just the little things I guess but its definitely there. Both of us frequently speak of ourselves as "we" to each other and to others as well...that sort of thing.
Her mother, my mother, her friends, my friends and other people who ever spend much time around us together always talk about what a special thing we obviously have. My boss even got mad at me when I told him a while back that we weren't planning on trying to take our relationship to another level. On old friend of mine brought his wife to my house the other night and when my friend left to go home the guy's wife said "You two so obviously love each other...why don't you just go ahead and admit it?" My mom asked a couple of weeks ago if we were a couple now....and I told her no but we do make a damn good team...which we do.
So all that rambling brings me to my question: are we fooling ourselves into thinking its not worth the risk? Is it wrong to have such a wonderful relationship between a man and a woman and not try to turn it into a lifelong partnership? By ignoring what everyone else seems to see in us are we making a terrible mistake?
Like I said....I've never really thought of it as an option, but when so many people see something more it has just made me think...what if we're wrong??
All I have to do is revel in the everyday....then do it again tomorrow
They say every sin is deadly but I believe they may be wrong...I'm guilty of all seven and I don't feel too bad at all
They say every sin is deadly but I believe they may be wrong...I'm guilty of all seven and I don't feel too bad at all
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in a word, yes.
obviously, the thought has crossed both your minds already. it is inevitable imo to try. i can't imagine not doing so. and the whole 'our friendship is too special to risk'.......again imo, is a BS, cop-out pussy call.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
This
To me it sounds like you guys are already in a relationship so make official
Her life has often been a whirlwind of problems and I've always been there for her so could it be that she truly would never allow herself to "risk" it? As for my excuse, I don't really know that I have one except I have always been the "never getting married" type of guy. To me, if we were to get together it would almost immediately imply that wedding bells are around the bend given the intense narture of our relationship.
They say every sin is deadly but I believe they may be wrong...I'm guilty of all seven and I don't feel too bad at all
"what a long, strange trip it's been"
Somebody is in the freind zone.
"With our thoughts we make the world"
They say every sin is deadly but I believe they may be wrong...I'm guilty of all seven and I don't feel too bad at all
www.cluthelee.com
www.cluthe.com
firstly, no one 'has' to get married. plenty of people have long-term, for-life relationships, sans marriage.
secondly, i hate to say it but....your 'special relationship' will only stay so special while the 2 of you are single. once either one of you gets truly involved in a long-term, romantic, committed relationship....the relationship you share now, will never be the same. that's life. so why not take the change that your relationship can be even better? i have many guy friends, i have a few who were and still are extremely special to me, very close friends....but yes, it all changed some once i got married. of course, i never really had any true attraction to these other men, and most of em i'd known since already getting together with my husband/then BF...but none the less. you both are already risking your special relationship. that's how life goes....people change, people grow...so do relationships. and they either grow together or they grow apart, in time, no matter how special. bottomline, the person who shares your bed automatically, almost instinctually, takes precedence over anyone else.
exactly.
once the seed of that thought gets planted in your head, there is rarely chance of going back.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
u guys cover my thought..
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
Is there any attraction there? Is it mutual? I think that's what it'll come down to now. :geek:
Have you both been single the whole time you've had this great friendship? How long have you been friends? How old are you?
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
I agree with this. It sounds like you have everything a relationship does except for the title, which may or may not be keeping it comfortable. But it sounds like make it official wouldn't even risk throwing a wrench in it. I say do it, sounds like it'll be a smart and happy decision for you both.
Good luck.
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the baby is smart, he doesn't watch tv.
i love tv too
Touchy situation.