Weaning

vduboise

This is a question to parents that have breastfed their children....

What have you found is the best way to do this? I started back to work a couple of weeks ago and the practicality of pumping at work, doesn't really work in a kitchen setting. I've done it a few times, but I always end up not pumping regularly and in a bit of pain by the end of my shift. And then my milk cycle is all fucked up for a couple of days and then I'm back to work again, and its all messed up.

I've looked online and most of the articles talk about how to breastfeed, but not how to stop. Even the weaning articles just talk about why you want to stop breastfeeding, and lay in an underlining guilt trip for you to continue. All they say is don't go cold turkey.

Saturday I tried cold turkey- BIG mistake. It was very, very painful. I'm so not into the pain, so we went back to it. And the baby was not happy either. She takes the bottle and drinks the formula, but when I'm home she won't really drink from the bottle- maybe drink only 1/2 of what she normally drinks.

So... anyone have any practical advice on how to do this without both of us suffering?

Thanks

-V

dasvidana

Depending on the age of the baby, you can try to introduce food (cereal, fruit). That way, the baby won't miss the breast milk as much since s/he will be experimenting with more interesting tastes.

MrMerkinball

dasvidana wrote:

Depending on the age of the baby, you can try to introduce food (cereal, fruit). That way, the baby won't miss the breast milk as much since s/he will be experimenting with more interesting tastes.

...and a fuller stomach.

Luckily, my wife weaned easily when we started our kids on cereal.

Anon

Hey V,

I'm a birth doula and breastfeeding consultant. First off, congrats to you for breastfeeding your baby. Breastfeeding for even just a little bit does great things for your baby.

I would love to encourage you to keep at it a little while longer. I worked full time and breastfed each of my kids for over a year. However, I know that pumping can be a challenge, and it was the one thing I despised about breastfeeding.

What you may want to try is to be sure to nurse your baby right before you leave for work. Go without pumping all day (wear your breast pads!), and feed baby right when you get home. This will take some cooperation with your care provider to make sure he or she keeps a bottle from the baby 2 or 3 hours before you get home. Supplement with formula during your work shift. Breasts are supply and demand, after a while of this schedule, they will adjust. If you are uncomfortable during the day, you can hand express to relieve some of the pressure.

Breastfeeding does not have to be all or nothing. With my first baby, we found a routine that worked where I would just nurse him when I was home, supplement formula when I wasn't and not pump. I was very protective of my nursing relationship though. When baby was getting a bottle, dad would feed him. That way if he wanted a meal from mommy, it was at the breast.

This is what worked for me. Each mother/child relationship is different, and I hope you find something that works best for you.

If you do go cold turkey, some help to relieve the pain will come from hand expression. Your breasts are relieved of the pressure but not with a full let down like with pumping. Pumping and nursing sends the hormonal signals to produce more milk and so on. Also a hot pack will relieve some of the pain too.

Please keep me posted on how things turn out for you!

-Kristy

redrock

You don't say how old your little one is. When I weaned my daughter from the breast, I didn't go cold turkey but gradually reduced her 'drinks', produced less milk then eventually no more. My daughter never took to the bottle and she never had formula (whatever they say, there is too much rubbish in this and the one time we tried - like the midwife suggested - she had an allergic reaction). I was worried that she wouldn't be getting enough liquids or enough vitamins, etc, but my doctor (mother of 5) reassured me. By the time I started to wean her off the breast, she was starting on solids, very quickly with a varied diet. As she did not want the bottle, I gave her drinks (water, etc.) in a little cup with a lid.

Once your baby doesn't smell milk when close to you, she will eventually drink from something else. If she doesn't like the bottle, introduce her to a sippy cup - you will be amazed at how quickly they learn to drink with a cup.

Good luck in getting your boobs back to yourself!

Claireack

I'm not very experienced at this as only managed to breast feed for 3/4 days, but it was enough to trigger my milk to come in. Which was difficult as I wasn't feeding anymore. My midwife recommended keeping a cabbage in the fridge (a dense one not one with frilly leaves) and when I got uncomfortable get a couple of leaves out and put them in my bra. It definately helped.

vduboise

Thank you all for your advice! I would love to continue breastfeeding for a little while longer. She is now 4 months old. If my job made it easier to pump, I would continue. But its just very difficult. She definitely takes to the bottle- and started solid foods yesterday. So far she's ok with the rice cereal- she doesn't love it, but its just different.

IMakeUSmile wrote:

What you may want to try is to be sure to nurse your baby right before you leave for work. Go without pumping all day (wear your breast pads!), and feed baby right when you get home. Breasts are supply and demand, after a while of this schedule, they will adjust.

Breastfeeding does not have to be all or nothing. With my first baby, we found a routine that worked where I would just nurse him when I was home, supplement formula when I wasn't and not pump. I
-Kristy

IMakeUSmile- thanks for the encouragement. Question, when you only nursed at home, how long did you continue to nurse on this schedule?

and I will try the cabbage leaves- heard about it but didn't know if it works.
Thanks again

youngster

Hello! First, I want to let you know that the following response is coming from my wife as I obviously did not nurse our son and pretty much don't have much to say on what to do or can be done...

Hello from Wife!
I am a breastfeeding/lactation counselor for The Baby Cafe here in Massachusetts and...
First, congratulations for taking on the challenge of breastfeeding at all! There are way to many out there that do not get to experience this first hand at all and those of us who do nurse understand the extremely stong bond that is formed...this is why "cold turkey" is certainly not going to work. This is not a pack of cigarretts or a bottle of whiskey that we are removing but instead the one solid comfort of mommy.

You expressed that you wish to continue and I say, where there is a will then there is a way! Many decades ago, pumps did not exist and mothers did not need to pump and store breastmilk while at work...instead, mothers would allow their breasts to regulate around their schedules and expression can be done while you are at home only. Please take the suggestions of others by feeding right before leaving for work and making sure that your child care provider holds back the bottle for a couple hours before you get home so that you can have your one-on-one nursing time when you get back with your child...even if this means nursing for a few minutes at the child care center before packing up to go home. Supplementing with formula if you need to but remember that she may be drinking less from the bottle because she wants to wait for the breastmilk from the breast...comfort and taste. When you are home with her, try nursing on one side and pumping at the same time on the opposite breast. When your baby brings on a letdown you will almost always leak and letdown with the other breast so have the pump there and ready to collect! Also, remember that pumping sessions in the early morning will always bring a greater amount than the later part of the day where your body is tired.
As for regulation around the schedule that you choose. It will be painful, in the beginning, but eventually your body will understand that your baby is not "needing" the milk during those times/days. On your days off from work do not try to immitate your work schedule...our bodies are amazing and will regulate around the work schedule. Gerber makes pads that you can buy in almost any baby isle in the grocery store or at target that you can heat up in the microwave or chill in the fridge...depending on your need. Heat before nursing to increase flow for baby/pumping but cold otherwise. Cabbage has almost miraculous abilities and you should definately keep a strong head or it in the fridge...place a couple leaves in your bra for about 15 minutes when you start to feel achy.
When you do decide that you and your baby are ready to wean, please do it gradulally. Understand that this is going to be a slow process...you didn't make it to 4 months quickly right so if you started weaning now you should expect for it to take a little while too! Try holding her the same way as you would at the breast but instead slowly begin introducing the bottle in its place with freshly expressed milk so that the temp and taste remains the same. The first few times she may be insistent on having the breast first but this is fine and should be allowed but when she pulls away from the breat re-introduce the bottle with milk. Also, try using bottles that allow the flow to be a little faster than she would get from the breast. Avent makes bottles that the milk flow is much faster than the breast and they are fairly decent priced. Niple confusion is common but she may chose the bottle more readily if the milk flow is more pleasing.
Again, great job making it this far! You are only doing what comes natural...offering the best that you can for your child! Know that whatever you do you have already given her four months of liquid gold which is more than some children ever receive. You are a wonderful mommy!
Goodluck!
Mary -The Wife

DinghyDog

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redrock

vduboise wrote:

So far she's ok with the rice cereal- she doesn't love it, but its just different.

My daughter hated the stuff. Tried a couple of spoonfuls and she spat it out. Not surprised really, I tried it and it IS disgusting! Pureed her a banana and she gobbled it up. No stopping her from there!

redrock

cropduster82 wrote:

Many decades ago, pumps did not exist and mothers did not need to pump and store breastmilk while at work...)

Many decades ago, mothers stayed at home, cared for the children, the husband and looked after the house. One cannot compare women/motherhood of 'many decades ago' and women/motherhood now.

_

vduboise wrote:

I would love to continue breastfeeding for a little while longer. She is now 4 months old. If my job made it easier to pump, I would continue. But its just very difficult.

I don't have any better advice on weaning than you've already received from all the experts in this thread, but just want to add something about how important it is that we all support legislation to make pumping or feeding at work easier.

Franny

Been there done that. I had to go back to work when my mbub was 4.5 months old and he was a boobs boy. I just substituted one day feed at a time with either solids or formula, but made sure that feed that was being substituted was fed to him by someone else, because that was what was going to happen anyway, and he wouldn't take formula if he could smell me (babies have an amazing sense of smell when it comes to thier mother). Then as soon as I got home it was straight on the boob...sheer freaking relief for both of us I think. I hated pumping too....and I am the only person I know to have broken breast pumps...yes plural pumps!!!

Jo

Don't forget that the Babes digestive tract needs to be developed to process food other than milk. Some say wait until Babe is 4 months old before you start introducing other foods, others say wait till six months....but not longer because Babe gets lazy.

We're spose to offer ONE food at a time, ONCE or TWICE a day, for 3 to 4 days before we introduce other foods, but always offer a milk feed afterwards because Babe still gets thier nutrition from the milk. This gives Babe time to get use to foods, and gives you time to observe any foods that may cause reactions.

Once baby is use to banana or rice, offer mashed pumpkin for 3/4 days...then mashed potato With PUMPKIN, something thier little bodies have already gotten use to,but they still need MILK after.
They reccomend that babes get milk up to ATLEAST 1 year of age.

Weaning babes does take quite a while, but if you rush it, troubles with digesting food may result, and just when you think your Babe is eating plenty to sustain themselves, you may find malobsorbtion robs them of thier sorce to grow and develope.

Best thing....You can cook up lots of veges and mash them, an a bit of gravy and hey presto, Babe has thier own takeaway for days!

But PLEASE, I've seen people give Apple, Carrots and Pears ect to Babes that are too young to chew, so please, please be aware of choking hazzards.....

vduboise

Thanks to all for chiming in. Most info I've found is about what happens to the the baby and not too much on the mother's side of the weaning equation.

cropduster82's wife:Thank you so much for the great advice. I was told by someone at work to use a smaller bottle nipple and I did not think that she was drinking enough. She was only drinking half the bottle before she fell asleep. I changed to a bigger one on the next feeding and she drank it all up.
Also- I just was not sure how/if the body would still produce milk if I was not pumping/nursing all the time. I was worried that she would not get enough milk from me. Sometimes my shift is 12-16 hours and was worried about drying up from being away for so long. Right now, I'm working 2-3 days a week. Come next month, I will have to increase to a regular schedule.

DinghyDog: I learned that painful lesson- definitely going slower this time around. No ripping her away again

redrock: I will try the rice cereal for another day and then on to something else- definitely banana's or applesauce is next

scb: its not like they don't let me pump- its just that once breakfast/lunch service starts- its always not a good time to stop. I could never coordinate pumping both breasts at the same time- so it would take me 20-25 min to pump. Boss is ok for now, but I can feel the exasperation. They give me a space to pump- so at least they are willing to give me the opportunity to do what I gotta do. He knows by law I have the right to do it- so he does not bring it up when I do pump.

Black-Corduroy: when its bottle time, I have my husband feed her- she takes it from me, but better from him. And I'm currently on my second pump- and its not sounding too healthy right now

I just wanted to thank everyone again for the advice. Its very helpful to hear what others have been through and have done.

vduboise

Jo wrote:

Don't forget that the Babes digestive tract needs to be developed to process food other than milk. Some say wait until Babe is 4 months old before you start introducing other foods, others say wait till six months....but not longer because Babe gets lazy.

We're spose to offer ONE food at a time, ONCE or TWICE a day, for 3 to 4 days before we introduce other foods, but always offer a milk feed afterwards because Babe still gets thier nutrition from the milk. This gives Babe time to get use to foods, and gives you time to observe any foods that may cause reactions.

Once baby is use to banana or rice, offer mashed pumpkin for 3/4 days...then mashed potato With PUMPKIN, something thier little bodies have already gotten use to,but they still need MILK after.
They reccomend that babes get milk up to ATLEAST 1 year of age.

Weaning babes does take quite a while, but if you rush it, troubles with digesting food may result, and just when you think your Babe is eating plenty to sustain themselves, you may find malobsorbtion robs them of thier sorce to grow and develope.

Best thing....You can cook up lots of veges and mash them, an a bit of gravy and hey presto, Babe has thier own takeaway for days!

But PLEASE, I've seen people give Apple, Carrots and Pears ect to Babes that are too young to chew, so please, please be aware of choking hazzards.....

oh definitely going slow with the solids! That is the one thing the Pediatrician really stressed. He gave us a chart on what foods to start with, and how long. 3-4 each one and test her reaction. He did not even bring up the harder foods this round of visits.
She's also teething- so he suggested this teething bag- to put the frozen/cold fruit- that she can chew on and get the relief as well as the juices without choking.

Anon

IMakeUSmile- thanks for the encouragement. Question, when you only nursed at home, how long did you continue to nurse on this schedule?

With my son, we started him on formula almost immediately after I started back to work (at three months). I had a horrible caregiver that would shove food in his face instead of meeting his other needs. However, I was able to nurse and supplement him for close to a year.

My daughter came next. I returned to work at 6 weeks and she was strictly breastfed for at least 5 months. However, I too felt the demands of work and cut back my pumping schedule, and then quit pumping completely and supplementing her with formula and solids. My daughter breastfed until 14 months I think.

In both cases, weaning was done when the child was ready, and made the transition easier. The other lactation professional on here makes a good point that nursing isnt just about feeding a baby. It is about an emotional bond between you and your baby. Sometimes weaning is harder on you than on the little one.

Again, hang in there. You will find something that works for you!