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news story re: Matt C?
Many fans of the Seattle Grunge-era rock band Pearl Jam are up in arms about a recent discovery around their favorite flannel clad musicians. After a brief East Coast Tour spanning 13 dates, Pearl Jam fans became aware that in recent years the band has replaced their drummer with a prototype drum machine created to appear as if human. This prototype machine is made to resemble a human, but play the drums with the steadiness and perfection of a high caliber machine. Of all places, the discovery was made when a fan found Vedder's girlfriend's cell phone, and was scrolling through her personal pictures. He allegedly found a picture of the the Matt Cameron drum machine being worked on after a show. "It was clear from that picture that this was a robot of some sort. The arms were removed and there were wires everywhere."
It is believed that after several failed drummers (Dave Krusen, Matt Chamberlain, Dave Abbruzzese, Jack Irons), the band decided to not seek replacement the traditional way, but to use a drum machine that will not cause creative differences within the band. One member of the band (who asked not to be identified) was quoted as saying "uhh... yeah.... we did uhh.... experiment with....uhh.... some alternate drumming ideas, but that does not take away from the integrity of this band. We, uh, we remain a tight unit, and most importantly, we stand united. If you want to get upset about machines, well, just look at the voting machines from the last two elections. Uhhh... I mean, I think we can all agree that...uhh... these machines are at least somewhat to blame for us getting stuck with Cheney and Bush for 8 long years...."
Since the story broke, several fans came forward saying that they knew something was up. "It makes sense. The guy drummed too perfectly and was not really part of the action." Others commented on the way the band attempted to distract fans from catching on "That explains why they got that Wookie to play keyboards. Talk about the perfect distraction." and "When Master Mike McCready is running around the stage, jumping up and down and playing solos behind his head, I mean, who is looking at the drummer?" Another thread in the message pit talked about Eddie's man-crush on Matt (the alleged drum machine), which people are now attributing to the giant cover up. "When Eddie commented about Matt's muscles, that was clearly a way to try to get us to believe he was human! I feel so duped!"
Several members of The Ten Club, the bands fan club, have turned to Pearljam.com's forum/message board to complain about this revelation. One member was quoted as saying "Yeah, I started a thread to complain about it... but in all honesty it got lost amongst all of the other complaint threads!" Another was quoted as saying "First Eddie lip-synchs on his solo tour, and now this. They charge too much money for their shows. Milli Vanilli never charged this much for their lip-synching and drum machine filled shows."
While there are rumors of a class-action suit being created against the band, it is widely believed that if Pearl Jam agrees to play the South and Texas, and send each fan 3 posters of their choosing, people will drop all charges.
Stay tuned as we cover this story through it's development.
It is believed that after several failed drummers (Dave Krusen, Matt Chamberlain, Dave Abbruzzese, Jack Irons), the band decided to not seek replacement the traditional way, but to use a drum machine that will not cause creative differences within the band. One member of the band (who asked not to be identified) was quoted as saying "uhh... yeah.... we did uhh.... experiment with....uhh.... some alternate drumming ideas, but that does not take away from the integrity of this band. We, uh, we remain a tight unit, and most importantly, we stand united. If you want to get upset about machines, well, just look at the voting machines from the last two elections. Uhhh... I mean, I think we can all agree that...uhh... these machines are at least somewhat to blame for us getting stuck with Cheney and Bush for 8 long years...."
Since the story broke, several fans came forward saying that they knew something was up. "It makes sense. The guy drummed too perfectly and was not really part of the action." Others commented on the way the band attempted to distract fans from catching on "That explains why they got that Wookie to play keyboards. Talk about the perfect distraction." and "When Master Mike McCready is running around the stage, jumping up and down and playing solos behind his head, I mean, who is looking at the drummer?" Another thread in the message pit talked about Eddie's man-crush on Matt (the alleged drum machine), which people are now attributing to the giant cover up. "When Eddie commented about Matt's muscles, that was clearly a way to try to get us to believe he was human! I feel so duped!"
Several members of The Ten Club, the bands fan club, have turned to Pearljam.com's forum/message board to complain about this revelation. One member was quoted as saying "Yeah, I started a thread to complain about it... but in all honesty it got lost amongst all of the other complaint threads!" Another was quoted as saying "First Eddie lip-synchs on his solo tour, and now this. They charge too much money for their shows. Milli Vanilli never charged this much for their lip-synching and drum machine filled shows."
While there are rumors of a class-action suit being created against the band, it is widely believed that if Pearl Jam agrees to play the South and Texas, and send each fan 3 posters of their choosing, people will drop all charges.
Stay tuned as we cover this story through it's development.
For those who scoff at "Jamily" in my name... 9 years ago, when my first daughter was born there were jokes about whether my priority would be my family or PJ. I smiled and quipped "I am a JamilyMan." What was a family joke became a hated term among jammers. Didn't see that one coming!
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{I edited 2 times with CAPITAL D's and it still came out small d's} what the hell?
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
I appreciate the effort
YIKES!
The only thing i'm confused about,
is how they get that drum machine to smoke pot.
That is one HELL of a drum machine!
If I opened it now would you not understand?
LMFAO
They say every sin is deadly but I believe they may be wrong...I'm guilty of all seven and I don't feel too bad at all
Follow the angled light.
Follow the strangest tribe.
I will get right on that... but trust me.... this is 100% legit
I actually know the girl who saw Jill's cell phone pic.
I don't want to say her name here (she is a pretty big contributor, to say the least) because obviously rummaging through the personal belongings of band members (and their loved ones) is a bit on the steep side,
but i would be able to put you in contact with her.
She DID forward that picture to her own cell phone.
I can probably get her to forward it to you for verification!
If I opened it now would you not understand?
See... and people thought that was made up! Thanks Drifting!!
who's there?
Shameless.....
Shameless who?
SHAMELESS BUMP!!!
I GOT MAIL. YAY!
I GOT MAIL, LADY!
BUMPBUMBADUM YEAAAYY!!!
I GOT MAIL!
If I opened it now would you not understand?