An Opportunity Lost

PG215391PG215391 Posts: 24
edited January 2010 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
An Opportunity Lost

You should have loved me father
Children are a blessing from heaven
A gift to love and cherish Young minds need love and acceptance to thrive
Providing the opportunity to feel safe and secure Children need the security of loving parents
Consistency and guidance while growing up
Children long for security and a sense of belonging
Not cast aside as a father moves on to fill his needs
Leaving his family with no food on the table
Making empty promises that soon become transparent
Promise after promise never kept while we wept
In spite of it all I felt the need for your acceptance
I blamed myself and my insecurities grew
Followed by destructive behaviors and the wish to die
Your abandonment in my life left me lonely and angry
I blamed myself perceiving I was inferior and unlovable
You frightened me with your physical and verbal hostility
A father figure I could respect you never mastered
In spite of your lack of support I fought each day and found my way
The journey proved to be extremely difficult and lonely at times
Feeling no one could understand the isolation and pain experienced daily
We both lost the father daughter bond
I no longer blame myself as this was a path you chose out of my control
I have forgiven myself for my self destructive behavior and choices
It turns out I was not unworthy of love or undeserving of acceptance
Rather a symptom of your inability to be a responsible husband and father
I’ve cried a thousand tears but I cry no more
This was your choice and I deserved much more
I’m no longer angry and I leave it up to you to acknowledge your decisions and consequences
I hold my head up and I’m proud of how far I’ve come
It’s a shame you will never be able to share in those triumphs
The bitterness is now a realization that I’m a grown women, wife and mother
We each lost a special and magnificent opportunity to share our lives
I’m the daughter you hardly know
The one you failed to watch grow
Perhaps I’m guarded where you’re concerned
Determined to stand on my own two feet
I refuse to let you make me feel defeat

December 21, 2009
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • PearlOfAGirlPearlOfAGirl Posts: 15,993
    That was definitely from the heart... I feel your pain... my dad was all that and a physical and emotional abuser, not to mention an alcoholic...

    After all these years, on Fathers Day 2008... I wrote a Fathers Day letter, because no words in a card could express the feelings I had, and the pain and yes the forgiveness I had felt...

    I wish you the very best...

    Wish you were here...

    ~RIP Dad
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