Is Civility Dead in America?

BhagavadGitaBhagavadGita Posts: 1,748
edited October 2009 in A Moving Train
I found this article and thought it was interesting, especially for any forum....

"With all the recent news about people shouting out inappropriately in public (think Serena Williams, Joe Wilson and Kanye West), it makes you wonder what has happened to our internal editing mechanisms. It seems like anything goes these days and while public figures are openly admonished for their outbursts there doesn't seem to be much of a deterrent for general rudeness. Thankfully, I think it is still a minority of people who leave the rest of us with our jaws hanging, wondering if we imagined the indiscretion or if it really happened, but the line seems to be getting moved further and further away from civility everyday and it has left many of us wondering if civility is dead or at least moving precipitously toward its demise.

I am certainly an advocate of free speech and freedom of expression, but have we really lost the ability to express ourselves without being rude? As Barak Obama asks, "Can't we disagree without being disagreeable?" I am not suggesting that we return to an era where people stood on formalities and the whole world was rated G but it seems to me that things have gotten a bit out of hand. Admittedly, I am from the era where Lucy and Ricky Ricardo slept in twin beds on television because that was the purity code of the time. That was just silly and even I knew that back then. But maybe, just maybe, the media has gone a bit too far in helping to desensitize our eardrums to foul language and rude behavior. It has long been known that the more we are exposed to something the more comfortable we become with its presence even if it is distasteful.

Even here on_____, amidst this wonderful supportive community, healthy and vigorous debate sometimes devolves into nasty personal attacks. I welcome differences of opinion, as do my colleagues, but when I write about something and it generates comments to me or other members on the site that are nothing more than ad hominem attacks, it is disheartening. The anonymity of the internet provides a safe haven for people to launch invective and anger and express themselves in a harsh way, without regard for the feelings or viewpoints of others, the very basis of civil discourse. There may be any number of psychological and personal reasons why people act inappropriately but, as the recent backlash in the media displays, society does not generally view these reasons as legitimate excuses.

There have been numerous news articles about the subject. P.M. Forni who heads the Civility Initiative at Johns Hopkins University and is the author of The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude notes in an article in USA Today that "American society is among the most informal in the world, and often that informality crosses over into incivility. Now, you add the informality of the Internet to this culture, and all bets are off. It's an age of total disclosure and total expression, with very little concern for the feelings of others."

I throw it out there for discussion, but it seems to me to be a perfect storm of several components including: a growing attitude that what I want is what matters most which leads to selfish behavior; a general coarsening of societal norms attributable to numerous factors, key among them the media focus on self-absorbed celebrities and our society's fascination with them; and the immediate and often anonymous nature of discourse on the internet. The fact that there has been so much buzz around these recent celebrity outbursts may be an indication that there should be and is some soul-searching going on. Or have we already moved on, the discussion lost in the din of the latest news cycle?"
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • I couldn't agree with you more..I think as a whole most people could care less about others feelings. We have become totally desensitized a nation. I see it everyday where I work( retail)
    Especially on Internet forums People here are constantly attacked or mocked for their beliefs or their political leanings. I see this from the left mostly especially when you don't agree with them.That's when the personal attacks start to fly. I was recently attacked on a thread and hadn't even posted anything on the subject that was being discussed. Don't get me wrong I think I have a pretty good sense of humour but this was over the line IMO and not to mention I have never personally attacked this person or anyone else in the manner she did. If this were an anything go forum I would expect to see or hear garbage like that all the time.
  • SmellymanSmellyman Asia Posts: 4,524
    prfctlefts wrote:
    I couldn't agree with you more..I think as a whole most people could care less about others feelings. We have become totally desensitized a nation. I see it everyday where I work( retail)
    Especially on Internet forums People here are constantly attacked or mocked for their beliefs or their political leanings. I see this from the left mostly especially when you don't agree with them.That's when the personal attacks start to fly. I was recently attacked on a thread and hadn't even posted anything on the subject that was being discussed. Don't get me wrong I think I have a pretty good sense of humour but this was over the line IMO and not to mention I have never personally attacked this person or anyone else in the manner she did. If this were an anything go forum I would expect to see or hear garbage like that all the time.

    ~sigh~
  • I think in my Grandmother's day, things seemed more pure somehow. Not proper, just polite.
  • g under pg under p Surfing The far side of THE Sombrero Galaxy Posts: 18,200
    prfctlefts wrote:
    I couldn't agree with you more..I think as a whole most people could care less about others feelings. We have become totally desensitized a nation. I see it everyday where I work( retail)
    Especially on Internet forums People here are constantly attacked or mocked for their beliefs or their political leanings. I see this from the left mostly especially when you don't agree with them.That's when the personal attacks start to fly. I was recently attacked on a thread and hadn't even posted anything on the subject that was being discussed. Don't get me wrong I think I have a pretty good sense of humour but this was over the line IMO and not to mention I have never personally attacked this person or anyone else in the manner she did. If this were an anything go forum I would expect to see or hear garbage like that all the time.

    Like you said this is a internet forum so put that good sense of humour to use and handle ALL that is thrown at you like it was water on the back of a duck. You do understand this is mainly a right leaning forum that is usually going to be opposite than what you believe, grow a thick skin "foobar". I've had my growing pains here in the end it doesn't mean a damn thing, besides there's no whining on the internet it makes you look like a wuss. :)

    Peace
    *We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti

    *MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
    .....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti

    *The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)


  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    I'm a big fan of asteism.
    I am also willing to call a spade a spade... if you post something that I know for certain is false, I will let you know. Although, I know I do not always practice courtesy when I do. Like I will say something like, "Only a moron would believe there will be government 'Death Panels' killing our grandparents".
    I know... sometimes i'm not nice.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • prfctlefts wrote:
    I couldn't agree with you more..I think as a whole most people could care less about others feelings. We have become totally desensitized a nation. I see it everyday where I work( retail)
    Especially on Internet forums People here are constantly attacked or mocked for their beliefs or their political leanings. I see this from the left mostly especially when you don't agree with them.That's when the personal attacks start to fly. I was recently attacked on a thread and hadn't even posted anything on the subject that was being discussed. Don't get me wrong I think I have a pretty good sense of humour but this was over the line IMO and not to mention I have never personally attacked this person or anyone else in the manner she did. If this were an anything go forum I would expect to see or hear garbage like that all the time.
    :shock:
    I think you are referring to me. I've never had any complaints before about my behaviour on here, but anyhooo..

    It was a joke, friend. I'm sorry you took offence to it. I really don't think you are that guy. I posted that after you did your Mmm Mmm Mmm Barak Hussain Obama ......thread, and many people had replied, and you didn't come back to the thread to continue the debate. You still have not. If you are going to start a thread that encourages debate, at least back up what you post and believe in. it's hard to respect your views when you don't do that, and yet you are complaining about the lack of respect. How does that work?

    It's also probably not a good idea, to assume that people couldn't care less about other people. I definitely do, and spend up to 50 hours a week in my job, doing that. I do it because i want to, not because i have to.

    Peace :)
  • gimmesometruth27gimmesometruth27 St. Fuckin Louis Posts: 23,303
    to the poster who said that is is most notably coming from the left attacking the right, i can say this. i would say it is and even match of left on right and right on left hostility. if anything i think it comes from the people on the right more than the left, both on here and on the televised media. i can name just as many or maybe even more posters by screen name right here on the right that have attacked others just as easily as i can name those on the left. i am guilty of it myself in the past. just last week a very "prolific" right leaning poster tore me a new ass in another thread. it probably crossed a few lines but i did not take it personally, nor did i complain about it publicly. i just ignored it and moved on and took him to school in another debate in another thread. that is just how it is around here. any time you debate things like religion and politics people are going to get frustrated or angry or offended.

    there are a lot of educated and intellectual people on this forum and a vast majority of them are well read and well spoken and have a very good idea of the direction in which they want the country to go. speaking from experience, world affairs and politics are very complicated issues and are not always black and white issues. when people say that it is black and white it dumbs down the debate very quickly. when people from the right come on here saying that it is as simple as black and white, and that things are true because fox news, oreilly, and glen beck says they are it really frustrates me, thus i tend to be short with them.

    i think civility has become an issue on all sides of the spectrum and it is a product of the age that we live in. it is much easier to be uncivilized when you type words on a screen than it is to say things to people's face. that is just the reality of this medium we are using.
    "You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry."  - Lincoln

    "Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
  • WaveCameCrashinWaveCameCrashin Posts: 2,929
    edited September 2009
    prfctlefts wrote:
    I couldn't agree with you more..I think as a whole most people could care less about others feelings. We have become totally desensitized a nation. I see it everyday where I work( retail)
    Especially on Internet forums People here are constantly attacked or mocked for their beliefs or their political leanings. I see this from the left mostly especially when you don't agree with them.That's when the personal attacks start to fly. I was recently attacked on a thread and hadn't even posted anything on the subject that was being discussed. Don't get me wrong I think I have a pretty good sense of humour but this was over the line IMO and not to mention I have never personally attacked this person or anyone else in the manner she did. If this were an anything go forum I would expect to see or hear garbage like that all the time.
    :shock:
    I think you are referring to me. I've never had any complaints before about my behaviour on here, but anyhooo..

    It was a joke, friend. I'm sorry you took offence to it. I really don't think you are that guy. I posted that after you did your Mmm Mmm Mmm Barak Hussain Obama ......thread, and many people had replied, and you didn't come back to the thread to continue the debate. You still have not. If you are going to start a thread that encourages debate, at least back up what you post and believe in. it's hard to respect your views when you don't do that, and yet you are complaining about the lack of respect. How does that work?

    It's also probably not a good idea, to assume that people couldn't care less about other people. I definitely do, and spend up to 50 hours a week in my job, doing that. I do it because i want to, not because i have to.

    Peace :)



    So let me get this straight if I post something and I don't respond back right away I deserve to be mocked and considerd white trash ? I don't understand your logic on respect. Personally I don't think you have any at least not for the posters you dissagree with. I can't spend all day and night on here like some people can . I actually have a job and pay bills. So if you were referring to the Obama thread why didn't you just post there instead of the Beck thread. what the hell did I ever do to you to deserve that ? I always show respect for the most part around here. I thought that personal attacks were not allowed on here. According to the disclaimer (bombs dropping down ) they aren't. Or is it only if the mods agree with you. and that's the way I see it for the most part. I bet most of the people on here wouldn't have the guts to say some of what is said on here to the other person in person. Maybe you should think about that the next time before you post something. I think it's time I get off this train for good.It's not healthy for me.
    And by the way I except your apoiogy.... ;)
    Post edited by WaveCameCrashin on
  • prfctlefts wrote:
    prfctlefts wrote:
    I couldn't agree with you more..I think as a whole most people could care less about others feelings. We have become totally desensitized a nation. I see it everyday where I work( retail)
    Especially on Internet forums People here are constantly attacked or mocked for their beliefs or their political leanings. I see this from the left mostly especially when you don't agree with them.That's when the personal attacks start to fly. I was recently attacked on a thread and hadn't even posted anything on the subject that was being discussed. Don't get me wrong I think I have a pretty good sense of humour but this was over the line IMO and not to mention I have never personally attacked this person or anyone else in the manner she did. If this were an anything go forum I would expect to see or hear garbage like that all the time.
    :shock:
    I think you are referring to me. I've never had any complaints before about my behaviour on here, but anyhooo..

    It was a joke, friend. I'm sorry you took offence to it. I really don't think you are that guy. I posted that after you did your Mmm Mmm Mmm Barak Hussain Obama ......thread, and many people had replied, and you didn't come back to the thread to continue the debate. You still have not. If you are going to start a thread that encourages debate, at least back up what you post and believe in. it's hard to respect your views when you don't do that, and yet you are complaining about the lack of respect. How does that work?

    It's also probably not a good idea, to assume that people couldn't care less about other people. I definitely do, and spend up to 50 hours a week in my job, doing that. I do it because i want to, not because i have to.

    Peace :)



    So let me get this straight if I post something and I don't respond back right away I deserve to be mocked and considerd white trash ? I don't understand your logic on respect. Personally I don't think you have any at least not for the posters you dissagree with. I can't spend all day and night on here like some people can . I actually have a job and pay bills. So if you were referring to the Obama thread why didn't you just post there instead of the Beck thread. what the hell did I ever do to you to deserve that ? I always show respect for the most part around here. I thought that personal attacks were not allowed on here. According to the disclaimer (bombs dropping down ) they aren't. Or is it only if the mods agree with you. and that's the way I see it for the most part. I bet most of the people on here wouldn't have the guts to say some of what is said on here to the other person in person. Maybe you should think about that the next time before you post something. I think it's time I get off this train for good.It's not healthy for me.
    And by the way I except your apoiogy.... ;)
    Enough with the dramas. We can continue this in PM if you like. The picture i posted wasn't a personal attack. It was meant to be a joke and i've already apologized that it appeared to offended you, but you still seem to want to carry on with it. I see that you have reported my post anyway. In four years of posting, i have never received a warning or a ban, so don't tell me i don't have respect for people i disagree with.
  • know1know1 Posts: 6,794
    Civility isn't dead, but it is at least endangered. Everywhere I go, people seem to want to be pissed off, ready to be offended, antagonistic, etc.

    Maybe I just make people mad ;)
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

    Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
  • know1 wrote:
    Civility isn't dead, but it is at least endangered. Everywhere I go, people seem to want to be pissed off, ready to be offended, antagonistic, etc.

    Maybe I just make people mad ;)
    If you don't see an asshole in a room, guess what...

    And believe me, I'm an asshole:p
    Believe me, when I was growin up, I thought the worst thing you could turn out to be was normal, So I say freaks in the most complementary way. Here's a song by a fellow freak - E.V
  • I guess there are some people who are always kind and some who are not. Maybe one cannot exist without the other....

    I think it's classy to be kind.
  • I guess there are some people who are always kind and some who are not. Maybe one cannot exist without the other....

    I think it's classy to be kind.
    Agreed, a little kindness goes a long way.
    Believe me, when I was growin up, I thought the worst thing you could turn out to be was normal, So I say freaks in the most complementary way. Here's a song by a fellow freak - E.V
  • i think as a collective society we are a LOT more crass, and sure....rudeness comes into play there. however, overall, i still see a LOT of kindness and/or politeness out there too. all hope is not lost.


    altering gandhi's words some..

    BE [the change that] what you want to see out in the world.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • polaris_xpolaris_x Posts: 13,559
    see the sky blanket you ... with gems and rhinestones ...

    :mrgreen:
  • polaris_x wrote:
    see the sky blanket you ... with gems and rhinestones ...

    :mrgreen:


    See the waves on distant shores... awaiting your arrival !!!!!! :D
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