what's on your mind, right now?

GlowGirl

I am thinking about how cool Dave Grohl is.

https://www.yahoo.com/now/dave-grohl-wrote-a-theme-song-young-drummer-nandi-bushell-193451641.html

hedonist

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

I was talking with my cousin earlier, who's grown quite close with my mom.  She said something to the effect of how we typically see our parents as our parents, vs. their own people who had a complete history prior to having children.

I always knew this rationally, but it still hit home - and hard, for some reason.

Maybe because my mom is nearing 90 (and still out and about AND driving ), I know it's on me to make peace with what I still resent her for.  I need to forgive her, as I've done for myself.  I think I owe that to both of us.

RogueStoner said:

I miss you, dear friend. Life just isn’t the same without you. 

((((Hugs to you both))))

Thanks. How are you (and your mom) doing?

HughFreakingDillon

GlowGirl said:

I am thinking about how cool Dave Grohl is.

https://www.yahoo.com/now/dave-grohl-wrote-a-theme-song-young-drummer-nandi-bushell-193451641.html

easily the coolest rock star there ever was. the first drum off was awesome. but to write and record a song and get his kids (The Grohlettes! LOL) to sing back up? unreal. 

Fifthelement

hedonist said:

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

I was talking with my cousin earlier, who's grown quite close with my mom.  She said something to the effect of how we typically see our parents as our parents, vs. their own people who had a complete history prior to having children.

I always knew this rationally, but it still hit home - and hard, for some reason.

Maybe because my mom is nearing 90 (and still out and about AND driving ), I know it's on me to make peace with what I still resent her for.  I need to forgive her, as I've done for myself.  I think I owe that to both of us.

RogueStoner said:

I miss you, dear friend. Life just isn’t the same without you. 

((((Hugs to you both))))

Thanks. How are you (and your mom) doing?

Overall, quite well.  The funeral is Wednesday morning.  My dad was sick for a lot of years and had spent the last year and a half in and out of hospital.  He never really recovered after the hospital overdosed him on OxyContin, killed and then necessitated him.  So his quality of life has been poor for quite a while.  It reached the point though that he couldn’t return home.  Frankly, he’d rather be dead then without my mom, so he stopped eating.  I salute him for his choice.  It was on his terms.  Still there are tears between the stories and laughter.  He looked so much at peace.  He was a great father and a very kind man who is remembered with love by the extended family, friends, and acquaintances.  What more can you ask for than a life well lived.

hedonist

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

I was talking with my cousin earlier, who's grown quite close with my mom.  She said something to the effect of how we typically see our parents as our parents, vs. their own people who had a complete history prior to having children.

I always knew this rationally, but it still hit home - and hard, for some reason.

Maybe because my mom is nearing 90 (and still out and about AND driving ), I know it's on me to make peace with what I still resent her for.  I need to forgive her, as I've done for myself.  I think I owe that to both of us.

RogueStoner said:

I miss you, dear friend. Life just isn’t the same without you. 

((((Hugs to you both))))

Thanks. How are you (and your mom) doing?

Overall, quite well.  The funeral is Wednesday morning.  My dad was sick for a lot of years and had spent the last year and a half in and out of hospital.  He never really recovered after the hospital overdosed him on OxyContin, killed and then necessitated him.  So his quality of life has been poor for quite a while.  It reached the point though that he couldn’t return home.  Frankly, he’d rather be dead then without my mom, so he stopped eating.  I salute him for his choice.  It was on his terms.  Still there are tears between the stories and laughter.  He looked so much at peace.  He was a great father and a very kind man who is remembered with love by the extended family, friends, and acquaintances.  What more can you ask for than a life well lived.

You can’t ask for more. Your dad sounds like he was a good man. 

Fifthelement

hedonist said:

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

I was talking with my cousin earlier, who's grown quite close with my mom.  She said something to the effect of how we typically see our parents as our parents, vs. their own people who had a complete history prior to having children.

I always knew this rationally, but it still hit home - and hard, for some reason.

Maybe because my mom is nearing 90 (and still out and about AND driving ), I know it's on me to make peace with what I still resent her for.  I need to forgive her, as I've done for myself.  I think I owe that to both of us.

RogueStoner said:

I miss you, dear friend. Life just isn’t the same without you. 

((((Hugs to you both))))

Thanks. How are you (and your mom) doing?

Overall, quite well.  The funeral is Wednesday morning.  My dad was sick for a lot of years and had spent the last year and a half in and out of hospital.  He never really recovered after the hospital overdosed him on OxyContin, killed and then necessitated him.  So his quality of life has been poor for quite a while.  It reached the point though that he couldn’t return home.  Frankly, he’d rather be dead then without my mom, so he stopped eating.  I salute him for his choice.  It was on his terms.  Still there are tears between the stories and laughter.  He looked so much at peace.  He was a great father and a very kind man who is remembered with love by the extended family, friends, and acquaintances.  What more can you ask for than a life well lived.

You can’t ask for more. Your dad sounds like he was a good man. 

He was 🙂

deadendp

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

I was talking with my cousin earlier, who's grown quite close with my mom.  She said something to the effect of how we typically see our parents as our parents, vs. their own people who had a complete history prior to having children.

I always knew this rationally, but it still hit home - and hard, for some reason.

Maybe because my mom is nearing 90 (and still out and about AND driving ), I know it's on me to make peace with what I still resent her for.  I need to forgive her, as I've done for myself.  I think I owe that to both of us.

RogueStoner said:

I miss you, dear friend. Life just isn’t the same without you. 

((((Hugs to you both))))

Thanks. How are you (and your mom) doing?

Overall, quite well.  The funeral is Wednesday morning.  My dad was sick for a lot of years and had spent the last year and a half in and out of hospital.  He never really recovered after the hospital overdosed him on OxyContin, killed and then necessitated him.  So his quality of life has been poor for quite a while.  It reached the point though that he couldn’t return home.  Frankly, he’d rather be dead then without my mom, so he stopped eating.  I salute him for his choice.  It was on his terms.  Still there are tears between the stories and laughter.  He looked so much at peace.  He was a great father and a very kind man who is remembered with love by the extended family, friends, and acquaintances.  What more can you ask for than a life well lived.

All I can offer are these outstretched arms and tears. ❤  -- Side hug. I promise that I'm wearing a mask. 

(I wish the huggy guy wasn't so smiley. I don't want smiley right now.)

Fifthelement

deadendp said:

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

I was talking with my cousin earlier, who's grown quite close with my mom.  She said something to the effect of how we typically see our parents as our parents, vs. their own people who had a complete history prior to having children.

I always knew this rationally, but it still hit home - and hard, for some reason.

Maybe because my mom is nearing 90 (and still out and about AND driving ), I know it's on me to make peace with what I still resent her for.  I need to forgive her, as I've done for myself.  I think I owe that to both of us.

RogueStoner said:

I miss you, dear friend. Life just isn’t the same without you. 

((((Hugs to you both))))

Thanks. How are you (and your mom) doing?

Overall, quite well.  The funeral is Wednesday morning.  My dad was sick for a lot of years and had spent the last year and a half in and out of hospital.  He never really recovered after the hospital overdosed him on OxyContin, killed and then necessitated him.  So his quality of life has been poor for quite a while.  It reached the point though that he couldn’t return home.  Frankly, he’d rather be dead then without my mom, so he stopped eating.  I salute him for his choice.  It was on his terms.  Still there are tears between the stories and laughter.  He looked so much at peace.  He was a great father and a very kind man who is remembered with love by the extended family, friends, and acquaintances.  What more can you ask for than a life well lived.

All I can offer are these outstretched arms and tears. ❤  -- Side hug. I promise that I'm wearing a mask. 

(I wish the huggy guy wasn't so smiley. I don't want smiley right now.)

Lol. Smiles are a good thing. Thank you for your hugs (also wearing a mask) 😁😁😁

GlowGirl

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

I was talking with my cousin earlier, who's grown quite close with my mom.  She said something to the effect of how we typically see our parents as our parents, vs. their own people who had a complete history prior to having children.

I always knew this rationally, but it still hit home - and hard, for some reason.

Maybe because my mom is nearing 90 (and still out and about AND driving ), I know it's on me to make peace with what I still resent her for.  I need to forgive her, as I've done for myself.  I think I owe that to both of us.

RogueStoner said:

I miss you, dear friend. Life just isn’t the same without you. 

((((Hugs to you both))))

Thanks. How are you (and your mom) doing?

Overall, quite well.  The funeral is Wednesday morning.  My dad was sick for a lot of years and had spent the last year and a half in and out of hospital.  He never really recovered after the hospital overdosed him on OxyContin, killed and then necessitated him.  So his quality of life has been poor for quite a while.  It reached the point though that he couldn’t return home.  Frankly, he’d rather be dead then without my mom, so he stopped eating.  I salute him for his choice.  It was on his terms.  Still there are tears between the stories and laughter.  He looked so much at peace.  He was a great father and a very kind man who is remembered with love by the extended family, friends, and acquaintances.  What more can you ask for than a life well lived.

Hugs from me as well. I will be thinking of you on Wednesday morning. I am sorry that your dad had to go through this. I am glad that you can take comfort in that he went the way he wanted to. Not everyone gets that choice. It sounds like he was a wonderful man. While we can't choose our parents, sometimes we get lucky. I count myself among the lucky group as well.

RogueStoner

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

I was talking with my cousin earlier, who's grown quite close with my mom.  She said something to the effect of how we typically see our parents as our parents, vs. their own people who had a complete history prior to having children.

I always knew this rationally, but it still hit home - and hard, for some reason.

Maybe because my mom is nearing 90 (and still out and about AND driving ), I know it's on me to make peace with what I still resent her for.  I need to forgive her, as I've done for myself.  I think I owe that to both of us.

RogueStoner said:

I miss you, dear friend. Life just isn’t the same without you. 

((((Hugs to you both))))

Thanks. How are you (and your mom) doing?

Overall, quite well.  The funeral is Wednesday morning.  My dad was sick for a lot of years and had spent the last year and a half in and out of hospital.  He never really recovered after the hospital overdosed him on OxyContin, killed and then necessitated him.  So his quality of life has been poor for quite a while.  It reached the point though that he couldn’t return home.  Frankly, he’d rather be dead then without my mom, so he stopped eating.  I salute him for his choice.  It was on his terms.  Still there are tears between the stories and laughter.  He looked so much at peace.  He was a great father and a very kind man who is remembered with love by the extended family, friends, and acquaintances.  What more can you ask for than a life well lived.

I’m so sorry for your loss. The way you are remembering him is a beautiful thing and a clear sign of a life well lived. Hugs to you and your family. 

HughFreakingDillon

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

I was talking with my cousin earlier, who's grown quite close with my mom.  She said something to the effect of how we typically see our parents as our parents, vs. their own people who had a complete history prior to having children.

I always knew this rationally, but it still hit home - and hard, for some reason.

Maybe because my mom is nearing 90 (and still out and about AND driving ), I know it's on me to make peace with what I still resent her for.  I need to forgive her, as I've done for myself.  I think I owe that to both of us.

RogueStoner said:

I miss you, dear friend. Life just isn’t the same without you. 

((((Hugs to you both))))

Thanks. How are you (and your mom) doing?

Overall, quite well.  The funeral is Wednesday morning.  My dad was sick for a lot of years and had spent the last year and a half in and out of hospital.  He never really recovered after the hospital overdosed him on OxyContin, killed and then necessitated him.  So his quality of life has been poor for quite a while.  It reached the point though that he couldn’t return home.  Frankly, he’d rather be dead then without my mom, so he stopped eating.  I salute him for his choice.  It was on his terms.  Still there are tears between the stories and laughter.  He looked so much at peace.  He was a great father and a very kind man who is remembered with love by the extended family, friends, and acquaintances.  What more can you ask for than a life well lived.

cheers to your dad. couldn't be a better endorsement than from the ones he raised and left behind. 

Fifthelement

Thanks all.  Lots of reminiscing tonight.

23scidoo

I need help!!

Fifthelement

^^^  oh my goodness!  What did you decide on?  Everything looks delicious.

23scidoo

Fifthelement said:

^^^  oh my goodness!  What did you decide on?  Everything looks delicious.

2 mango, 2 hazelnut and 2 chocolate!!

HughFreakingDillon

i need a different job. 

hedonist

I was listening to Queen earlier and thought of my dad.  He loved music, especially classical and opera.  Many Saturday mornings of my childhood found me watching in awe as he pretend-conducted orchestras while completely lost in a piece.  Volume all the way up!

I remember in the late 70s/early 80s, sitting with him and my sister on her bedroom floor, headphones on my dad, and playing Night at the Opera for him.  He was floored - by the composition, the variety of music, the layers, that VOICE, all of it.  We did the same with Led Zep IV and Houses of the Holy.  And the Martin-produced era of the Beatles.

It was so cool to introduce him to "our" music as he did with his.  It is now part of me

Fifthelement

So, the funeral service went really well.  There were many tears shed for our loss, but there was so much laughter recalling the good times and the tricks and pranks my dad was always pulling.  I managed to get up and talk and not break down so yay me.  The slide show turned out really well.  I could not determine the songs that my dad requested.  I googled the artists’ catalogues trying to find a match, but no joy.  So I ended up selecting the music, with my mom’s approval, that I thought my dad would like.  We played:  Man of the Hour (PJ); The Rose (Bette Midler); Go Rest High in That Mountain (Vince Gill); I Bid You Goodnight (Aaron Neville)and Turn! Turn! Turn! (The Byrd’s). The VG & AN songs were used in the PowerPoint slide show.  My dad loved music, and instilled a love of it into me, so I think he would’ve been happy with my choices.

Fifthelement

hedonist said:

I was listening to Queen earlier and thought of my dad.  He loved music, especially classical and opera.  Many Saturday mornings of my childhood found me watching in awe as he pretend-conducted orchestras while completely lost in a piece.  Volume all the way up!

I remember in the late 70s/early 80s, sitting with him and my sister on her bedroom floor, headphones on my dad, and playing Night at the Opera for him.  He was floored - by the composition, the variety of music, the layers, that VOICE, all of it.  We did the same with Led Zep IV and Houses of the Holy.  And the Martin-produced era of the Beatles.

It was so cool to introduce him to "our" music as he did with his.  It is now part of me

This is amazing.  I started composing the post above you last night, but left it in draft because I was too tired to finish it.  I hadn’t read what you wrote about your dad loving music until just now.  So funny that we both wrote about the same thing.😳👍🙏

hedonist

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

I was listening to Queen earlier and thought of my dad.  He loved music, especially classical and opera.  Many Saturday mornings of my childhood found me watching in awe as he pretend-conducted orchestras while completely lost in a piece.  Volume all the way up!

I remember in the late 70s/early 80s, sitting with him and my sister on her bedroom floor, headphones on my dad, and playing Night at the Opera for him.  He was floored - by the composition, the variety of music, the layers, that VOICE, all of it.  We did the same with Led Zep IV and Houses of the Holy.  And the Martin-produced era of the Beatles.

It was so cool to introduce him to "our" music as he did with his.  It is now part of me

This is amazing.  I started composing the post above you last night, but left it in draft because I was too tired to finish it.  I hadn’t read what you wrote about your dad loving music until just now.  So funny that we both wrote about the same thing.😳👍🙏

I couldn’t even speak at my dad’s funeral. I envy your ability to keep it together for that. Sounds like it was beautiful and bittersweet. 

And yes, what they passed on to us, stays. We are our fathers daughters